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After 25 years of marriage, Amazon CEO ‘Jeff Bezos’ and his wife are headed for divorce. ⁣ -⁣ Jeff Bezos is currently worth $137 billion and is the richest man in the world. ⁣ -⁣ This is the biggest divorce settlement in history with $137 billion on the line.⁣ -⁣ Jeff posted this on Twitter, ⁣ ⁣ “We want to make people aware of a development in our lives. As our family and close friends know, after a long period of loving exploration and trial separation, we have decided to divorce and continue our shared lives as friends,” read the statement signed by both of them.⁣ -⁣ RapTVSTAFF: @thatkidcm⁣ 📸 @thebushcenter⁣: U FORUM O LEADERSH GEORGEWB FORUM LEADERS BusH arap JEFF BEZOS AMAZON CEO WHO S WORTH $137 BILLION, TO DIVORCE WIFE OF 25 YEARS After 25 years of marriage, Amazon CEO ‘Jeff Bezos’ and his wife are headed for divorce. ⁣ -⁣ Jeff Bezos is currently worth $137 billion and is the richest man in the world. ⁣ -⁣ This is the biggest divorce settlement in history with $137 billion on the line.⁣ -⁣ Jeff posted this on Twitter, ⁣ ⁣ “We want to make people aware of a development in our lives. As our family and close friends know, after a long period of loving exploration and trial separation, we have decided to divorce and continue our shared lives as friends,” read the statement signed by both of them.⁣ -⁣ RapTVSTAFF: @thatkidcm⁣ 📸 @thebushcenter⁣

After 25 years of marriage, Amazon CEO ‘Jeff Bezos’ and his wife are headed for divorce. ⁣ -⁣ Jeff Bezos is currently worth $137 billion...

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theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.

theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conve...

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