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portentous-offerings: pg-chan: serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die. !!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.  i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!!  Also, by the car stopping for them, that hedgehog has two other species actively working to help it stay alive for no gain of their own.  Reminds me of that professor who said the beginning of civilization was when someone took care of another. The broken thigh bone thing. “Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others.” - Margaret Mead : portentous-offerings: pg-chan: serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die. !!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.  i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!!  Also, by the car stopping for them, that hedgehog has two other species actively working to help it stay alive for no gain of their own.  Reminds me of that professor who said the beginning of civilization was when someone took care of another. The broken thigh bone thing. “Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others.” - Margaret Mead
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afloweroutofstone: iamicecreamsbitch: averyterrible: afloweroutofstone: afloweroutofstone: the-real-numbers: identicaltomyself: argumate: afloweroutofstone: Spent the last four hours or so starting on a new project: mapping the locations of famous horror movies set in America. It’s a work in progress, y’all’ see more when I’m done. this is like when the RAF tried to figure out where to armour their bombers by looking at the distribution of bullet holes; the empty area on the map is where nobody lived to tell the tale. It follows population density pretty closely except that the desert Southwest is over represented. Is that because it’s close to Hollywood? Cheap to shoot in? High density of chupacabras? That’s just where the spooky is. Everything else is just noise from large populations. Since @argumate​ brought this back, here’s what the map looks like today: I started adding any horror movie at all, not just well-known ones. Also, it’s global now! @cominyern​ Subgenre!  Red is killer/slasher/psychological Blue is monster/creature Yellow is ghost/spirit/demon Green is alien Black is zombies Purple is vampires It lets you look at some cool regional trends, like how ghosts are huge in New England while aliens and vampires have a cluster in the Southwest. that the original had a lot of black in Pittsburgh is unsurprising, given where a certain George Romero came from, but it now has an interesting relative density and variety. (i blame the Tom Savini practical effects school in Monessen, personally) I wish this was an interactive map I want to find and watch my “local” horror movies! Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a link to explore the map for your local horror movies! : afloweroutofstone: iamicecreamsbitch: averyterrible: afloweroutofstone: afloweroutofstone: the-real-numbers: identicaltomyself: argumate: afloweroutofstone: Spent the last four hours or so starting on a new project: mapping the locations of famous horror movies set in America. It’s a work in progress, y’all’ see more when I’m done. this is like when the RAF tried to figure out where to armour their bombers by looking at the distribution of bullet holes; the empty area on the map is where nobody lived to tell the tale. It follows population density pretty closely except that the desert Southwest is over represented. Is that because it’s close to Hollywood? Cheap to shoot in? High density of chupacabras? That’s just where the spooky is. Everything else is just noise from large populations. Since @argumate​ brought this back, here’s what the map looks like today: I started adding any horror movie at all, not just well-known ones. Also, it’s global now! @cominyern​ Subgenre!  Red is killer/slasher/psychological Blue is monster/creature Yellow is ghost/spirit/demon Green is alien Black is zombies Purple is vampires It lets you look at some cool regional trends, like how ghosts are huge in New England while aliens and vampires have a cluster in the Southwest. that the original had a lot of black in Pittsburgh is unsurprising, given where a certain George Romero came from, but it now has an interesting relative density and variety. (i blame the Tom Savini practical effects school in Monessen, personally) I wish this was an interactive map I want to find and watch my “local” horror movies! Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a link to explore the map for your local horror movies!
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sniperct: swan2swan: We really don’t talk enough about how Artoo went into the desert to find Obi-Wan because no kid would be stupid enough to follow him into Tusken territory and then this kid chases him down and gets beaten up and his unconscious body is dragged back to his landspeeder and Artoo looked down and went “This one. This one knows how to have a good time.” #he’d had adventures but really all those rebels were too cautious for him#he’d served Anakin Skywalker there was just no coming back#and then there’s this nerdy kid who kinda sorta reminds him of that guy#and then Obi-Wan says “your father wanted you to have this” and pulls out ANAKIN’S KRIFFING LIGHTSABER#and Artoo just EXPLODES because NO WAY THIS IS THAT KID??!#and he cross-references his old memory banks and THERE’S PADME NAMING THE KID “LUKE” THIS IS THE KID#THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM ANAKIN’S SON#NO WONDER HE COULDN’T ESCAPE#also no wonder he could fool this idiot to take off the restraining bolt#HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN#and he was ride or die forever#and about two days later he DID die#but he got better#so really WOW this guy IS the best#artoo detoo : sniperct: swan2swan: We really don’t talk enough about how Artoo went into the desert to find Obi-Wan because no kid would be stupid enough to follow him into Tusken territory and then this kid chases him down and gets beaten up and his unconscious body is dragged back to his landspeeder and Artoo looked down and went “This one. This one knows how to have a good time.” #he’d had adventures but really all those rebels were too cautious for him#he’d served Anakin Skywalker there was just no coming back#and then there’s this nerdy kid who kinda sorta reminds him of that guy#and then Obi-Wan says “your father wanted you to have this” and pulls out ANAKIN’S KRIFFING LIGHTSABER#and Artoo just EXPLODES because NO WAY THIS IS THAT KID??!#and he cross-references his old memory banks and THERE’S PADME NAMING THE KID “LUKE” THIS IS THE KID#THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM ANAKIN’S SON#NO WONDER HE COULDN’T ESCAPE#also no wonder he could fool this idiot to take off the restraining bolt#HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN#and he was ride or die forever#and about two days later he DID die#but he got better#so really WOW this guy IS the best#artoo detoo

sniperct: swan2swan: We really don’t talk enough about how Artoo went into the desert to find Obi-Wan because no kid would be stupid eno...

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ryanthedemiboy: gahdamnpunk: The government does not care about minorities and poor folk. I understand why you’d caption it like that, but this is specifically about indigenous Americans and how the US treats them. The US hates other minorities and poor folk, but please don’t take attention from this. All those other people have a chance at being treated. But people on the reservations… don’t. They were literally given body bags. Here’s the Navajo and Hopi relief fund on gofundme You can also donate through here if you’d like to avoid supporting gofundme. Here is the official Navajo Nation relief fund, posted by their President on twitter (link to tweet). Oh, also, many of them don’t have running water (and never have). Link : ryanthedemiboy: gahdamnpunk: The government does not care about minorities and poor folk. I understand why you’d caption it like that, but this is specifically about indigenous Americans and how the US treats them. The US hates other minorities and poor folk, but please don’t take attention from this. All those other people have a chance at being treated. But people on the reservations… don’t. They were literally given body bags. Here’s the Navajo and Hopi relief fund on gofundme You can also donate through here if you’d like to avoid supporting gofundme. Here is the official Navajo Nation relief fund, posted by their President on twitter (link to tweet). Oh, also, many of them don’t have running water (and never have). Link

ryanthedemiboy: gahdamnpunk: The government does not care about minorities and poor folk. I understand why you’d caption it like that,...

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chongthenomad: al-the-stuff-i-like: slightly-fanatic: guardgenie: charlesoberonn: 01101111-01101111-01100100: sanjista: bbanditt: chongthenomad: so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO it is the chosen one it must be the main character in the anime It got funnier when I realized just how many tulips are in this picture. “In a world where tulips were yellow, one dared to be different…” Every spring this picture comes back around and every spring I crack up at first you just see the row of tulips in the foreground, and it’s funny then you see the rows stretching back for yards and yards, and it’s even funnier Heyo so I’m throwing a big ol party after quarantine if this hits 1 mill so uh if anyone’s out there pls help embarrass my sister even more 7 years later : chongthenomad: al-the-stuff-i-like: slightly-fanatic: guardgenie: charlesoberonn: 01101111-01101111-01100100: sanjista: bbanditt: chongthenomad: so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO it is the chosen one it must be the main character in the anime It got funnier when I realized just how many tulips are in this picture. “In a world where tulips were yellow, one dared to be different…” Every spring this picture comes back around and every spring I crack up at first you just see the row of tulips in the foreground, and it’s funny then you see the rows stretching back for yards and yards, and it’s even funnier Heyo so I’m throwing a big ol party after quarantine if this hits 1 mill so uh if anyone’s out there pls help embarrass my sister even more 7 years later
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angelfire115: zetarays: angeredthoughts: nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear: polyglotplatypus: polyglotplatypus: im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds.  (basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars) Yes this! Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images) And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds). Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough). Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture. Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure. You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you. Not even a little bit. @tamberland THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED : angelfire115: zetarays: angeredthoughts: nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear: polyglotplatypus: polyglotplatypus: im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds.  (basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars) Yes this! Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images) And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds). Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough). Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture. Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure. You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you. Not even a little bit. @tamberland THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED
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cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER : cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

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ups-dogs: On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, multi-species moochers, I was determined to dig deep in order to satisfy their dissimilar and daunting dietary demands. My time in the Boy Scouts taught me “be prepared” and I have carried that lesson into my career at UPS by always maintaining a supply of carrots for horses, granola bars for the swine, and, of course, Milk Bones for the dogs.I am proud to say that I was finally rewarded for my preparations by this powerful example of pure photographic perfection; a profound, poignant and pastoral picture of a pittie, piggy and pony posse….all in one shot!A lesser driver would have squandered this golden opportunity by simply retreating, leaving nothing but a trail of hungry and frustrated animals in his wake. But not I. Thirty one years of experience plying my trade on the lonely back roads of Newberg, Oregon have taught me a valuable lesson; that excuses are never an option. I have a solemn duty to uphold. The uniform that I proudly wear says “UPS” and that brand name stands for something; Unlimited Puppypiggypony Snacks!By Scott Hodges.: ups-dogs: On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, multi-species moochers, I was determined to dig deep in order to satisfy their dissimilar and daunting dietary demands. My time in the Boy Scouts taught me “be prepared” and I have carried that lesson into my career at UPS by always maintaining a supply of carrots for horses, granola bars for the swine, and, of course, Milk Bones for the dogs.I am proud to say that I was finally rewarded for my preparations by this powerful example of pure photographic perfection; a profound, poignant and pastoral picture of a pittie, piggy and pony posse….all in one shot!A lesser driver would have squandered this golden opportunity by simply retreating, leaving nothing but a trail of hungry and frustrated animals in his wake. But not I. Thirty one years of experience plying my trade on the lonely back roads of Newberg, Oregon have taught me a valuable lesson; that excuses are never an option. I have a solemn duty to uphold. The uniform that I proudly wear says “UPS” and that brand name stands for something; Unlimited Puppypiggypony Snacks!By Scott Hodges.

ups-dogs: On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, mu...

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benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo & Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best. DISNEY MOVIE ABOUT CHEETAH GOING ON A JOURNEY TO FIND HER SILLY DOGGO FRIEND Disney Cheetah and Doggo? HAD TO SKETCH IT! : benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo & Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program. Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly). The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too. Basically the dog is a service animal for them. The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups. Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best. DISNEY MOVIE ABOUT CHEETAH GOING ON A JOURNEY TO FIND HER SILLY DOGGO FRIEND Disney Cheetah and Doggo? HAD TO SKETCH IT!

benteja: holmesandtheroman: madlori: tastefullyoffensive: by Xergion This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus...

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randomslasher: seek-strength: geekinallitsglory: sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart: judgingitsilently: krazieleylines: typicalpony: How awesome does this sound though. You get infinite money and once a week you get to take a child to a candy store or toys or us or somewhere they love and buy them as much they want this would be fun given the kid wasn’t a brat. There is no downside to this at all This is the best, because it says A CHILD, not your child, so I could pick one of the really poor kids on the streets and go “Your life is going to change right now”, and I could buy everything their family might need, along with a house, a food supply, toys, clothes, and everything they never had the chance to have before. And the best thing is that I could do this with lots of children, and not just one. I could give a lot of children in need a full week of Christmas basically and maybe give them a chance to have a different life. That would be great. Bless u ^ humanity still exists.  Plus depending on how you define “child”, you could be helping highschool students who are struggling with application fines and even pay for college tuition, room and board, or books Bless this post and you kind hearted people. AND it says “AT LEAST” one week a month so you don’t have to stop at just one week, you could do this literally every day. And it doesn’t say it has to be the same child the whole week so you could easily pick one child each day, ‘cause let’s face it you could probably take care of most everything in that one day and spread your child-helping ability even further. : randomslasher: seek-strength: geekinallitsglory: sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart: judgingitsilently: krazieleylines: typicalpony: How awesome does this sound though. You get infinite money and once a week you get to take a child to a candy store or toys or us or somewhere they love and buy them as much they want this would be fun given the kid wasn’t a brat. There is no downside to this at all This is the best, because it says A CHILD, not your child, so I could pick one of the really poor kids on the streets and go “Your life is going to change right now”, and I could buy everything their family might need, along with a house, a food supply, toys, clothes, and everything they never had the chance to have before. And the best thing is that I could do this with lots of children, and not just one. I could give a lot of children in need a full week of Christmas basically and maybe give them a chance to have a different life. That would be great. Bless u ^ humanity still exists.  Plus depending on how you define “child”, you could be helping highschool students who are struggling with application fines and even pay for college tuition, room and board, or books Bless this post and you kind hearted people. AND it says “AT LEAST” one week a month so you don’t have to stop at just one week, you could do this literally every day. And it doesn’t say it has to be the same child the whole week so you could easily pick one child each day, ‘cause let’s face it you could probably take care of most everything in that one day and spread your child-helping ability even further. 

randomslasher: seek-strength: geekinallitsglory: sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart: judgingitsilently: krazieleylines: typicalpony: H...

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bisexualnoodle5: airyairyaucontraire: yay855: residentevil-fandomhazard: princesstigerbelle: I love how he kisses the kitten towards the end All kittens are born feral, but you can see the exact moment ahead realized how good kisses are 💜💜💜 Mother cats will often groom their babies to calm them down and help them feel loved; by kissing this kitten, that man is establishing himself as a mother figure to it. He’s literally saying “I’m gonna be your momma now” in a language it understands, and it responds with love. Honestly it helps that he has a beard, I have a theory based on observation of cats with bearded persons that the feeling of stiff beard hair brushing the cat’s fur is sufficiently reminiscent of the feeling of Mother Cat’s rough tongue grooming a kitten’s fur that they are suckers for that business. Beardos, rub your face on a cat today and repeat back, please. “DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME” *kiss* “oh that’s actually kinda nice” : bisexualnoodle5: airyairyaucontraire: yay855: residentevil-fandomhazard: princesstigerbelle: I love how he kisses the kitten towards the end All kittens are born feral, but you can see the exact moment ahead realized how good kisses are 💜💜💜 Mother cats will often groom their babies to calm them down and help them feel loved; by kissing this kitten, that man is establishing himself as a mother figure to it. He’s literally saying “I’m gonna be your momma now” in a language it understands, and it responds with love. Honestly it helps that he has a beard, I have a theory based on observation of cats with bearded persons that the feeling of stiff beard hair brushing the cat’s fur is sufficiently reminiscent of the feeling of Mother Cat’s rough tongue grooming a kitten’s fur that they are suckers for that business. Beardos, rub your face on a cat today and repeat back, please. “DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME” *kiss* “oh that’s actually kinda nice”
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