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Alive, Animals, and Bad: mithsonian smithchan.com/monsters nake CHANNELmanstersrake 02012 SNUSI Networks LL.C. All rights reserved Smithson legitimatelala: lokiwtf: gallizfrey: anneriawings: siphersaysstuff: honey-andrevolution: sashayed: silvermoon424: poppypicklesticks: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: cosmicallycosmopolitan: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: james-winston: The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight. I’m so glad they aren’t around omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either Praise natural selection I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!”  Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing! And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore. Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again. GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN. this is so relevant to my interests  It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths… THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH. We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling. DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were. I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post *Goes on Tumblr at 5am to help me go back to sleep for a bit longer* *Never sleeps again* Dammit I was born to late for all the fun
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Ussr, Cia, and Medium: The CIA drops enormous condoms labelled medium into the USSR in an attempt to demoralize the Soviets (circa. 1953, colourised)

The CIA drops enormous condoms labelled medium into the USSR in an attempt to demoralize the Soviets (circa. 1953, colourised)

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Advice, Ass, and Bad: embyrr922 pyrrhiccomedy ifshehadwings ovaadosedonconfidenc Intuition is real. Vibes are real. Energy doesn't lie. Tune in This is actually called thin slicing. Your brain recognizes patterns from very small "slices" of information by comparing them to things you have experienced betore. This all happens very quickly ona subconscious level without our conscious mind being involved. So intuition is actually really fast pattern recognition, and it can be very accurate. So yeah, if you have a gut feeling that a person or situation is not good, get the hell out. Your brain knows what's up When I was young - because l've always been a big skeptical pain in the ass I thought that when people were talking about interpersonal "energy," they were on some Gay Ass Shit. Years later, after spending hundreds of hours reading studies about intuition and neuroscience and pattern recognition and the processing power of the subconscious mind, I realized that that kind of talk - "she has such good energy," "you need to read the energy of the room," "l just got some really bad energy off of that guy - is a convenient shorthand for the lightning-rast, weirdly-accurate, real-as-fuck subconscious processing of the probability of positive or negative social outcomes likely to result from hundreds or thousands of variables. That "energy" isn't a tangible thing floating around in the air. It's your brain updating you constantly with information about your situation. Listen to it. Especially if it's telling you to be nervous or scared. Your brain is very good at recognizing danger. Let the enormous processing power of your subconscious mind protect you. It's better at spotting patterns than you are "Bad energy" isn't some hippie shit. It's your brain setting off a claxon because it knows something's not right. Thin slicing is wonderfully helpful, but be aware that if it's doing its pattern recognition from bad sources, you need to actively override it. We're raised in a racist society, inundated with racist media, and bombarded with subtly (or unsubtly) racist advice. Thin slicing can save your life, but it's also the cause behind the unconscious elements of racism (and misogynylableism/antisemitism/islamophobia/etc.) that we all suffer from Trust your instincts, but if your instincts tell you something that seems prejudicial, double check their work Trust your gut. Unless your gut is a dumbass.
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Michael Jordan, Nba, and News: NEWS 0 NEW NEWSS Enormous cow believed to be the biggest in the world is almost as tall as NBA star Michael Jordan

Enormous cow believed to be the biggest in the world is almost as tall as NBA star Michael Jordan

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Bad, Children, and Dinosaur: glumshoe Children's art in media: fully-colored, stylized but recognizabke figures with backgrounds and aesthetically textured and messy crayon coloring that Children's art in real life: an anguished disembodied head floating on one side, a massive sea of amorphous red scribbles taking up half the paper, 'SAM written in enormous shaky letters overlapping everything, partial figure of a dinosaur abandoned before drawing the legs glumshoe in a movie this would be a fully-colored crayon drawing of a ranger standing in front of an arch that said "Jurassic Park" but instead it is two dinosaur skulls floating in the abyss while a ranger's head is swallowed by his own enormous speech bubble and I adore it jess-sheridan Part of my job is literally making those dumb kids drawings in film/tv AND LET ME TELL YOU, the reason why they're never like actual kid art is because 1 None of us art goblins remember what weird shit kids think of when they draw so we rely on bad reference images and the random stuff we remember drawing 2 We have so much muscle memory that it's legit difficult to make 'bad art 3. It's a legal nightmare to use actual kid art most of the time so one of the dept art goblins makes it 4. The colour is because it adds contrast and draws the eye usually we're working with nice art supplies with a full spectrum of colours and trying to tone it down to look as bad as possible but failing miserably because it's just not in us to do it. glumshoe This is the funniest fucking professional problem I can imagine l'd love to see the results of like... trying to commission children to make art for film and TV Draw a happy family!" Okay!" [chird churns out three weirdly proportioned humans and a yellow amorphous blob with a speech bubble shouting something unintelligible] Oh uh... it's very. Nice. Can you tell me who the yellow person is? That's Spongebob. The family is happy because he came to their party Source:glumshoe 25,799 notes A movie detail I never noticed before and now I always will
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Ass, Fire, and Head: quentyl: lb-lee: avatarsymbolism: Zuko and Mai v Mr. Boomerang. One of the reasons Avatar is one of the few epic fantasies I’ve actually liked is that nobody is above indignity. This is a thing a lot of genres do, but epic fantasies seem to be impressively devoid of any sense of humor, and often cave to the temptation to make the villains or heroes so badass that nothing embarrassing or stupid ever happens to them. In Avatar (the last airbender, anyway, haven’t seen Korra), everyone has stupid shit happen to them.  Even Fire Lord Ozai has his moments– “No, Fire Lord Ozai, YOU aren’t wearing pants!” Azula gets covered in mud.  Zuko has… well, getting conked in the head by a boomerang is only the beginning of the stupid undignified shit he experiences. (Though he still doesn’t compare to Sokka, the emperor unto perpetuity of Shameland.) And I love that.  Because in life, sometimes you get covered in mud.  Sometimes you get conked in the head when you’re trying to be brooding and dramatic.  STUPID SHIT HAPPENS TO YOU.  And in real life, you still manage to be badass, or terrible, even in your moments of human frailty. I wish I saw that more often. Yes! This, so much. That’s definitively something I’ve noticed too, and I love it! Actually, in a way, I think it’s kind of addressed in the show itself: Zuko was publicly humiliated, punished and banished for speaking out of turn at a meeting. This was considered a personal offense to the Fire Lord: they were so strict and enamored with their “dignity” that the slightest misstep by a child could turn into some sort of great insult. And if you’re insulted the proper response is to defend your honor in Agni Kai, a duel to the death (with a child if need be). In contrast, among the Air Nomads, it was okay to throw mud pies at the head monks and laugh your ass off. It was even encouraged: creativity, fun and humility were seen as the most essential qualities. No one was above pranks - neither being pranked nor even doing the pranks. And it didn’t mean they didn’t know respect - we know Aang had enormous respect for his elders and their teachings. It’s actually a much truer form of respect than what you could find in the Fire Nation, where fear kept you silent. So, I think there is a lesson here, that maybe we should learn not to hold our dignity in such high regard, that it’s good to know how to laugh at yourself? And when ATLA has fun with its serious characters, it’s also a way to illustrate this idea - the show is all the richer by not taking itself too seriously.
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