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Apparently, Bad, and Fucking: My Chemical Romace ..usually burn... My Chemical Romance are goniuses. I will say it go) on any givan "roality TV show, which again: geniuses! They wrote this catchy song about one would it be and why? not being okay. Can you imagine anything striking a FRANK: GROWING UP GOTTI, cause I'm a quar- deeper chord with the key high-school-aged record- ter Polish and three-quarters mobster. buying demographic? I swear, they must be managed by Steve Forbes or something. I'm not dissin'-I'm SKRATCH: Does anyone in the band have just jealous! Do you realize how many underage an obnoxious girlfriend? What makes her girls these guys must have swarming around their so lame? tour bus?! It boggles the mind. Anyway, I had a really FRANK: What, are you kidding me? You're gonna great e-mail exchange with guitarist Frank Lero. He's get me into trouble with this one. Fine: Mikey's girl- got a great sense of humor and he believes in evolu- friend. Ha ha, l'm callin' you out, Jeanna bait! Yeah, tion-so, as far as l'm concerned, he deserves to live that's right-I went there. a happy, normal life. Judge for yourself, though. SKRATCH: If you had to wear either high SKRATCH: Late at night when you think heels or a bra on a regular basis, which of the Warped Tour, what do you think of? would you pick, and why? FRANK: The lack of showering, rad Porta-Potties, FRANK: Dang. Neither, really. I have bad ankles, and friendship. so the heels are not even a question; and bras just seem like a hassle, SKRATCH: You guys are kinda pale. Are you worried about sunburn on the SKRATCH: Do you believe in evolution? Warped Tour? What will you do to prevent FRANK: Yes, because it happened. Next it? Or are you looking for a little color? FRANK: Um, I don't know It's really not something SKRATCH: If you killed someone, where I'm too concerned about...butI do usually burn, would you hide the body? Do you think especially on my face, and that's never any fun...so you'd get away with it? maybe I should come up with some sort of a plan. FRANK: I would hide the body in a voting booth. Apparently, intelligent people haven't stepped foot in those things for years. SKRATCH:I love the way your music video looks like a film trailer. If they were to ac- tually make the film being "advertised," what would the plot be? What character And that way, if Ashcroft is running for any sort of office, the body can do a little last-minute campaign FRANK: There would be absolutely no plot whatso- ing! Ha ha ha. Oh, man, I'm fucking funny. Is that too ever. It would be lots of close-ups of Gerard, some heady a reference for a Warped Tour guide? Well, more of Mikey, a car would blow up, and it would be take your mind off it by checking out My Chemical Romance all summer long on this year's Warped Tour! And throw my man Frank some sunscreen when you see him. I worry about hirm, you know? would each member of the band play? over. I would audition for the part of Godzilla. SKRATCH: Man, didn't high school suck? FRANK: [Tou hit the] nail on the head, sister. SKRATCH: If you could go (or had to www.skratchmagazine.com By Jeff Penalty /Photo by Derrick Santini playing 6/18-8/1S www.theimmortalityproject.com callmeblake: mcrmyhollywoodscans: JUNE 2004 - SKRATCH Photo Credit: Derrick Santini
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Heaven, Jesus, and Saw: F THE WORLD WAS CREATED B A PROGRAMMER Br O toggl IN THE BEGINNING, AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, & W ITHOUT DOCUMENTATION THERE WAS THE HEAVEN NoT g0OD AND THE EARTH THEN You SAID Y "LET THERE BE GHT! YOU CREATE A HACK TO CREATE DARKNESS You So THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND NEED TO HIDE THE LAND BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE CREATURES WON T BE ADDED UNTIL LATER BUT THE LIGHT DID NOT COMPILE. ㄇ AND STACKOVE SAID IT S FINE BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, E SECOND DA YOU MERGE WATER LIGHT 8REAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALLY YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW FLOODED (IN THE DARKNESS IT'S THE THIRD DAY YOU TRY TO ADD CREA YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUTBROWSER NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER, THERE'S No LAND WIToTCH UNFORTUNATELY BUT THE CLIENT FORGOT TO MENTION THAT USING CODKIES, MAKES THEM MORTAL LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAV LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE WATER IT's THE FOURTH DAY. You DECIDE TO USE C+You ALSO USE STL TURNS OUT THE ISSU WERE CAUSED BY THE FLAT EARTH DESIGN TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WITH No OMPLICATIONS WHATSoEVER! IT'S THE FIFTH DAY YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES THEM IN YoUR LIKENESS, You START ADDINGWHICH IS A MISTAKE PEOPLE TO HELP REACT REACT JESUS REACT FUCKIT.JS JQUERY ON THE SIXTH DAY You ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE You LOOK AT THE PROGRAMMING,BUT IT IS TOO LATE- CHAOS YOU CREATED EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. HORIZON DAY DAYTIME AIR.JS SEA. JS BASE.JS UND. JS BETTER BANKS. JS ON THE SEVENTH DAY YoU REALLY WANT TO REST BUT You NEED TO OKGANISE ALL YoU'VE CREAT MONGODB TOGGL.COM MART VIRKUS.I? Can relate to most of this :/
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Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
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Church, Doctor, and Fucking: 5909 "I decided that never again would there be a pregnant woman in Auschwitz." patron-saint-of-smart-asses: everybody-look-right: washingtonstateconservative: ctrlgeek: webbgirl34: thebigsisteryouneveraskedfor: Gisella Perl was forced to work as a doctor in Auschwitz concentration camp during the holocaust. She was ordered to report ever pregnant women do the physician Dr. Josef Mengele, who would then use the women for cruel experiments (e.g. vivisections) before killing them. She saved hundreds of women by performing abortions on them before their pregnancy was discovered, without having access to basic medical supplies. She became known as the “Angel of Auschwitz”. After being rescued from Bergen-Belsen concentration camp she tried to commit suicide, but survived, recovered and kept working as a gynecologist, delivering more than 3000 babies. I want to nail this to the forehead of every anti-abortionist who uses the word “Holocaust” when talking about legal abortions. Yeah… she became a gynecologist and was extremely pro-life after she got out of the camps. In an interview with Nadine Brozan for the New York Times in 1982, Dr. Perl recalled her initial experiences with Dr. Mengele’s “cure” for pregnancy in Auschwitz. ”Dr. Mengele told me that it was my duty to report every pregnant woman to him,” Dr. Perl said. ”He said that they would go to another camp for better nutrition, even for milk. So women began to run directly to him, telling him, ‘I am pregnant.’ I learned that they were all taken to the research block to be used as guinea pigs, and then two lives would be thrown into the crematorium. I decided that never again would there be a pregnant woman in Auschwitz.” Let’s analyze the situation: mother and child alike were both going to be killed anyway if the pregnancy was discovered. Leaving wasn’t an option. Freedom was nonexistent, and the perspectives of all involved were colored by living in hell on earth.   After the war, she dedicated her life to Holocaust remembrance, infertility treatment, and delivering babies – not destroying them. The New York Times quotes her as saying, “No one will ever know what it meant to me to destroy those babies, but if I had not done it, both mother and child would have been cruelly murdered.” Perl never pretended they weren’t babies, that their lives didn’t matter, or that their deaths weren’t cruel. Holy crap. I literally got a ton of shit a few months ago for saying that maybe, just maybe, Perl’s actions don’t justify abortion as a whole. Well, it goes to show that I should’ve done more research, to find out  that Perl herself doesn’t pretend that was she did was right, or that it justifies abortion now. There was another woman, a midwife, who was devout Catholic and helped to care for pregnant women and hide the babies, and continued her work in midwifery after the war. Last I heard she was in the canonization process in the Catholic Church. Fucking THANK YOU I’m so tired of pro-choicers using her as a “gotcha”. She had to do a terrible thing in a terrible circumstance. That has literally no relation to first world abortion legislation today.
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Cookies, Jesus, and Saw: IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED B A PROGRAMMER IT'S THE FOURTH DAY.You DECIDE TO USE C You ALSO USE STL TO CREATE A BALLOONFOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT TURNS OUT THE ISSUES WITH No WERE CAUSED BY THE FLAT EARTH DESIGN OMPLICATIONS WHATSoEVER! By l togg IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE HAVEN FRMLESS AND BuGaY, AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS DANGLIN BUT THE EARTH WAS NoT GOoD AND THE EARTH %WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION IT'S THE FIFTH DAYYou DECIDE TO CREATE You START ADDINGWHICH IS A MISTAKE PEOPLE TO HELP THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS YoU REACT REACT LEFT-PAD JESUS.REACT FUCKIT. JS THEN YOU SAID YoU C "LET THERE BE GHT! REATE A HACK To CREATE DARKNESS, You LIGHT IS PART NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, OF THE LAND BUT THAT's OK CAUSE CREATURES WON T BE ADDED UNTIL LATER BUT THE LIGHT · JQUERY DID NOT COMPILE ON THE SIXTH DAY YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE You LOOK AT THE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- CHAOS YOU CREATED AND STACKOVE SAID IT'S FINE EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES HORIZON DAY BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY DAYTIME AIR JS -oN TWE SECOND DAY'\ー YOU MERGE WATER IS ACCIDENTALLY LIGHT BREAKS AS LAND FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW SEA. JS BASE. JS (IN THE DARKNESS REALISTIC WAVES. JS BETTER-BANKS. JS ON THE SEVENTH DAY YOU REALLY WANT TO REST, BUT You NEED To IT'S THE THIRD DAY.YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE MONGODB TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUTBROWSER USING cookIES, ORGANISE ALL You'vE NEEDED TO BE AbDED SOONER BUT THE CLIENT FORGOT TO LIGHT, AND YoU CAN'T THERE S NO LAND WITHOUT HAV WHICHUNFORTUNATELY MAKES THEM MORTAL CREAT MENTION THAT WATER TOGaL.CoM MART VIRKUS '17 If Programmers Created the Universe
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Bitch, College, and Dildo: SUPERWHOLOCK IS FUCCIN TRASH 89 sirthane: i-fear-neither-death-nor-pain: personsonable: cobracommanderofficial: thiswebsitenamesareweird: electricdoc: itsmeganonthemoon: electricdoc: jensenacklesmeltsmyheart: electricdoc: alonelyangel6: electricdoc: thesweetandawesomeqinn: electricdoc: stabble1234: electricdoc: slendersummerseve: BITCH I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU YOU’VE ANGERED THE WRONG FANDOM You’re going down punk, just you FUCKNG WAIT!! You will learn that this fandom is far worse than you will ever want to know. We may seem soft and shy, but we’re just being NICE! We can be cold, cruel, mean, and make you suffer and wish you had never said what you said. We can send you into the farthest most empty reaches of the galaxy, summon demons to our disposal to make you suffer, and make you feel the feelings that we experience, and don’t fucking think for a single goddamn second that’s easy! The amount of emotions that would boil inside of you would literally kill you. So keep your motherfucking distance and we won’t hurt you, so stay the hell back, asshole. If you so much as insult us one more time, we will bring firey hell upon you and bitch slap you into oblivion. Your move, dildo. We know how to kill a human and hide the evidence. Your body will never be found, and that is a promise. You do realize a majority of the fandom are 20 somethings right? or at least in college. We can find you, kill you, and make it look like you killed yourself. Don’t try us :) Shut up.We can exorcise a demon from you faster than Dean and Sam, believe me you need it.We can toss you into a supernova, never to be seen again, or banish you to the end of the universe where you would explode to create a new one.We can murder you and destroy all evidence of you ever existing.Basically- D-O-N-T-C-R-O-S-S-U-S This is like finding a lost family heirloom you’ve been hearing about finally…. important relic from the Tumblr Dark Ages Tumblarcheology
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