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Bad, Beef, and Fire: ifeelbetterer tumblr Follow hellotailor 1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center 2. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree 3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up 7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something 9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room- temperature Canadian beef 11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM 12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. wollipyos Some of the worst analogies written by high school students I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT NUMBER 4 IS GREAT. bewbin These are genius ninjagirlmai I lost it at number 10 farorescourage "the worst analogies" are the ones you use to write comedy pieces with. They work like a charm if you do them right. beingfacetious #you say 'worst analogies i say 'heirs of douglas adams, Source papadevs 291.019 notes These analogies are like poetry if the poet had been sleepless for five days subsisting only on Red Bull and raw coffee beans

These analogies are like poetry if the poet had been sleepless for five days subsisting only on Red Bull and raw coffee beans

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Fucking, Jeopardy, and Kahoot: public high school things naruto kids .kids punching windows kahoot .leaks coming from everywhere screams from every direction jeopardy review games chicken nuggets that are orange and all the same shape people fighting for no reason couples who make out in the hallway like they're never gonna see each other again those kids who take the bathroom pass and disappear for half of class clapping in the middle of lunch for no reason? only going to the homecoming game .being embarrassed by the student art in the hall .that one teacher that no one calls mr./Mrs./miss/etc but instead just their last name hearing yelling from other classrooms and wondering wtf is going on???? People who stop in the middle of the goddamn hallway That one kid who always has a winter coat on no matter what 'Gay table' Kids who rap/blast rap music in the hallway "_ Please take off your hood/hat." The bell doesn't dismiss you I do We still have 3 minutes left don't pack up yet or you're getting a detention Mysterious ceiling stains Smoke coming out of the bathroom -People who skip class and hide in the bathroom all period instead of leaving * those 3 kids who everyone knows are drug dealers » the secretary who is Tired * finding outdated memes printed out and pinned to the walls in teacher offices (ex: condescending willy wonka: "oh so that OTHER teacher didn't give you homework?? I see") * singing songs u learned in middle school language classes * the end of class is whenever someone shuffles their papers into a binder or moves their backpack, everyone else will follow like some freaky instinctual mimicry shit have u ever seen something so american like... wtf This all sounds so fucking weird... Public High School Things
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