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Dicks, Fire, and Memes: TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our own. That’s right, it’s time to throw this thing back to February 2010. A simpler time, a time before David Petraeus locked his knees at a senate hearing, and back when you could still tinkle on dead Taliban. omgtakemebackkkk⠀ ⠀ Today we’re talking about every Marine from 6th Reggie’s favorite little town in Afghanistan’s Helmand Province. marjahmarjahmarjah⠀ ⠀ What many of you may not know, however, is that them Gyrenes weren’t the only ones with their dicks in the dirt giving Terry the ol’ whatfor. Case in point, the subject of today’s OAF TBT; Staff Sgt Corey Calkins aka CashMoneyCorey⠀ ⠀ While serving as a weapons sergeant for ODA 3121, Cake Crushin’ Calkins was part of the coalition push through Marjah. On 18 February 2010, he led an assault of ANA troops against a platoon-sized element of Taliban fuckbois at a key intersection near the bazaar in Marjah. While under intense small arms, RPG, and mortar fire, Corey the Cockslapper charged the enemy position like a robust lesbian hopped up on Jack Daniels in a domestic dispute; inspiring his ANA troops to follow and overwhelm the Taliban position. TakeTheirShoes⠀ ⠀ After locking down the intersection and surrounding positions, Corey continued to fuck Terry six ways to Sunday by voluntarily continuing to drive the man-titty-havin’ soyboys out of smalls arms and RPG range so three critically wounded Marines could be evacuated. He aggressively pursued the enemy hotter than the homies in Tekashi 69’s cell block are pursuing his butthole. LemmeTugOnYoDickALilWhile⠀ ⠀ For his actions that day, SSG Calkins was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and earned himself a lifetime supply of bummed cigs, fat pinches of dip, and near-beers from every Marine in the Ghan. ThereGoesMyHero ⠀ ⠀
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Bitch, Children, and Chuck Norris: "R-r-r-r-r-roger Taylor!" Freddie Mercury on Roger Taylor "Drummer, dentist, and tailor. Roger Taylor does it all" ~ Oscar Wilde on Roger Taylor "I have more hair than him. Brian May on Roger Taylor "The hottest man ever!" Every woman on earth Roger Meddows Taylor (born 26 July 1949), known as Roger Taylor, is the hottest guy ever. He is hotter than you. He is hotter than your son. He is hotter than the sun. When he was born the whole hospital went up in flames as his hotness was just starting to begin. In his teens, the good-old fashioned lover boy developed a routine that flabbergasted even priapic heroes such as Bob Pant and Lemmie of Motorhead: he introduced himself as Roger Taylor to one groupie and as Roger Meddows to the next before his re-entrance as Roger Meddows-Taylor, the double- barrelled playboy to the hapless third. His mother was a contortionist in the Barnum & Bailey Circus and his father was out of work due to his incontrollable addiction to potatoes. Roger became a man very quickly. He was hot and enjoyed inflicting temporary amnesia on his schoolmates by pummeling them in their heads with rugby balls. He would then jog back into the locker room, put on a mesh muscle shirt and cut school to pump iron. Roger Taylor as a young woman For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Roger Meddows Taylor. Roger Taylor is cooler than you. Over 11,000 people have reported deafness caused by hearing Roger Taylor's falsetto. . He played most of his shows asleep. Much to Freddie's amusement, he tried to dye his hair before a show, only to turn it a striking shade of green...or was it purple? . Roger Taylor is friends with Eric Cartman . Roger would probably go shag somebody, mainly himself! Even though he's a drummer, he likes music, and can even sing! Roger Taylor can defeat Chuck Norris. His cell phone carrier is Sprint, which is why Sprint occasionally has poor service; his voice destroys reception. Roger Taylor stole the cookies from the cookie jar. Roger Taylor has his own line of alarm clocks and burglar alarms in Italy. Consequently, more people report to work on time and the crime rate has gone down. There is also an increase in deaf businessmen and robbers with ringing in the ears. Roger Taylor lost the Game. Roger has five children (that he knows of) that are all in fact clones of various aspects of him e.g his eldest son sounds exactly like him, his second son looks exactly like him and is a drummer. There is a small lake in Wichita named after Roger Taylor. Roger's vagina is also known as Australia because of it's largeness in size. Roger Taylor and Meg Ryan were separated at birth. Roger was known for cooking up a piece of bacon so scrumptious and big, Freddie kept it for himself and christened it his bitch Roger's penis is the size of Rhode Island due to its tiny stature. moveimbi:why is this the most accurate description of Roger Meddows Taylor ever 
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