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A true programmer: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
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i thought this belonged here a very wholesome story: Humans of New York 5 hrs "I used heroin for ten years. It wasn't a very good life, as you'd expect. I had my son taken from me. I lost my job at the Fiat factory. I spent all my time trying to find money, find dealers, and stay away from police. I hated myself. I couldn't face anyone. Then one day my friend's dog had puppies. I'd never had a dog before, but I always liked animals- so I told him to give me the smallest and ugliest one he had. The one nobody else wanted. And that's how I got Joe. Joe was the angel of my life. We understood each other. There was no need for words. He followed me around all the time. He slept next to me on the street. The moment I opened my eyes in the morning he would lick my face. He gave me self-esteem. I was a complete loser but at least I could take care of Joe. I could bring him to the park. I could bring him to the vet. I could raise enough money to get his medication. He's the reason I was finally able to quit heroin. Because if something happened to me, what would happen to him? So I got clean. It was hard but I got clean. Joe lived for another thirteen years. He got a tumor in 2012 and held on a few more months. I barely survived it. I was able to stay off drugs, but I promised myself that I'd never get another dog. It's just too painful. But two years ago I found Leica beneath a mobile home. She was all skin and bones. She'd been abandoned. I didn't have a choice. For the first few months I called her Joe. But I had to stop. Because Joe'ss gone. And the name doesn't really matter, anyway. It just matters that I love her." (Rome, Italy) i thought this belonged here a very wholesome story

i thought this belonged here a very wholesome story

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novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

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novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

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If Something: r/AskReddit Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit neaxt to him at his table. She has made the entire Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the acadernic stuff teacher said.ฯ have to tell you something." css adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out difterent rules for him so that he can play, She sticks up for him If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead:I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time. [Teacher is CRYING at this point. "I she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit. You know she's the social leader. (oh, shit.) You know she's the one all the kids want to friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh, shitshitshit.please don't tell me she's the mean grl That kid is autistic She decided he needed a friend, She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't ike to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead, can never comment on anather child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this pont.] ." she does nothing else. ever, she has changed one ife. Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color, Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him. Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream hin 100%.
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positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
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positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
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The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
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The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2TfikJl: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2TfikJl
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