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Being Alone, Animals, and Cute: uristmcdor It occurs to me that as much as "humans are the scary ones" fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly fhiendy or I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought Tm gonna ride on that thing And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yeling PUPPYT and initiating playful interaction with it And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest toughest alens out there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug 'enm Why' I dunno. I gotta hug 'emm And its ike the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly umanity has a bunch of big scary friends Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans Why7 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated? nseems to be the opposite Commander Just this morming a crewman nearly lost their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world Their reaction to the atack was to call the creature a "mean kitty" and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readly with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alen creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna 1 see what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these puppies" so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated Ehehehe I love this. Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 00% cuter and more epic Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone So 1 hear that you've just recruited a human for your ship Yes, #'s the first time that Ive worked with these species, but they come highly recommended Say, you've worked with a few, what tps can you give me? I'd hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding f its avoidable The first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised Wait, what? Tm serious Dont do it. Things Happen But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board? Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excelent innovators, and are psychologically very reslient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary But Toks, didn't you just say The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia? The very same Surprisingly good sense of humour. But don't even get me started on that one ime with the Dunlip Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it As a pet A Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun? Yup Dont leave your humans unsupervised uh,take that under advisement Senousily Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond wilth or they will make their own I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway but without any permanent pets they can get.. creative Dont even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby Three weeks in and when we finaly caught the wretched thing hailt the humans on crew tried to revolt about us "killing Stabby by removing the knfe How how did you resolve that si Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead Quite a creative solution, I suppose And that sated the humans? Worse Worse? They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spings to both and held mock battles Then decided Stabby and Knfey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage ights between them any more So if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding pets ? Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic pet shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners? Yes.. You don't sound very reassuring Well. You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their pets is actualy what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider 'safe OK..I am getting a little nervous about this No, no its fine, I'm just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to describe the creature before they get t For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking what it was What happened? Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat. My enire crew was temified of it, it was agle and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of it. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its beans' as they said, forcing the creatures claws out, and then they would show people it's deady claws while saying, and I quote. look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kils things, isnt it Cute? Seriousty? I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sleep next to the giant creature You are not making me feel better with these stories everythingtromdust Source radioactivepeasant 28,157 notes Jan 11h 2017 HFY

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Being Alone, Cookies, and Facebook: PRIVACY POUCY WEVE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POUCY THIS 15 PUREY OUT OF THE GOODNES6 OF OUR HEARTS, AND HAS NOTHING To DO WITH ANY HYPOTHETICAL UNIONS ON AY PARTICULAR CONTİNENTS PEASE READ EVERY PART OF THISPoUCY CARERULY AND DONT JUST 5KIP AHEAD LOOKING FOR SEX SCENES. THIS POLICY GOVERNS YOUR INTERACTIONS WTH THIS UEBSITE,HEREIN REFERRED TO AS "THE SERVMICE" THE WEBSITE" "THE INTERNET" OR "FACEBOOK, AND WTH ALL OTHER UEBSITES AND ORGANIZATONS OF ANY KIND. THE ENUMERATION IN THIS POLICY, OF CERTAIN RIGHTS, SHALL NOT BE CONSTRUED TO DENY OR DISPARAGE OTHERS RETAINED BY THE USERS. BY USING THIS SERVMCE, YOU OPT IN TO QUARTERING TROOPS IN YOUR HOME. YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION PLEASE DONT SEND US YOUR PERSONAL İNFORMATİON, WE DO NOT WANT YOUR PERS0NAL INFORMATION. WE HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME KEEPING TRACK OF OUR OLM/ PERSONAL INFORMATION, LET ALONE YOURS FYOU TELL US YOUR NAME, OR ANY IDENTIFYING INFORMATİON,WE WILL FORGET IT MMEDIATELY THE NEXT TiME WE SEE YOU WELL STRUGGLE TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, AND TRY DESPERATELY TO GET THROUGH THE CONVERSATİON SO WE CAN GO ONLINE AND HOPEFULLY FIGURE IT OUT TRACKING PIXELS, COOKIES, AND BEACONS THIS WEB5ITE PLACES PIXELS ON YOUR SCREEN IN ORDER TO FORM TEX AND IMAGES, 50ME OF WHICH MAY REMAIN IN YOUR MMEMORY AFTER YOU aosE THE PAGE·WE USE COOKIES TO ENHANCE YOUR PERFORMANCE. OUR WEBSITE MPY USE LOCAL STORAGE ON YOUR DEVICE IF WE RUN LOW ON SPACE ON OUR END WE MAY USE BEACONS To CALL ROHAN FOR AID. 3RD PARTY EXTENSIONS THIS SERVICE MAY UTUZE 3RD PARTY EXTENSIONS IN ORDER TO PLAY THE SONG OwUFE 1T FROM THEIR DEBUT ALBUM ALME PERMISSION FOR USERS WHO ARE CITIZENS OF THE EUROPEAN UNION, WE WILL NOW BE REQUESTING PERMISSION BEFORE INITİATİNG ORGAN HARVESTING, S AND LIMITATIONS THIS POLICY SUPERSEDES ANY APPUCACLE FEDERAL, STATE, AND LOCAL LAWS REGULATIONS AND ORDINANCES INTERNATİONAL TREATİES, AvDLEGAL AGREEMENTS THAT WOULD OTHERUISE APPLY. IF ANY PROVISION OF THIS POLICY IS FOUND BY A COURT TO BE UNENFORCEABLE, IT NEVERTHELESS REMAINS IN FORCE HIS ORGANIZATION IS NOT LIABLE AND THIS AGREEMENT SHALL NOT BE CONSTRUED THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED DY THE FDA. THIS WEBSITE IS INTENDED TO TREAT CURE, AND PREVENT ANY DISEASE. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE IN EUROPE, PLEASE TELL THEM WERE COOL. <p><a href="http://memehumor.net/post/174249564393/gdpr" class="tumblr_blog">memehumor</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>GDPR</p></blockquote>

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Cats, Chill, and Energy: Stray cat sneaks into zoo enclosure, finds another cat... star-anise: fozmeadows: reajeasa: roachpatrol: rhube: BABIES!!! so the best thing about this is that bobcats, like just about every feline besides lions and domestic cats, are pretty solitary. they don’t really have friends. they aren’t really equipped to make friends.  domestic cats, on the other hand, do know how to make friends. they are friendly to the point that lots of feral cats live in colonies— the females hang out together, even raise kids together, and the males like to spend nonsexual time with their baby mommas. they groom each other, play around, and have a particular tail position to signal to one another— straight up with the tip curled— that they’re friendly and happy to see each other. cats learned how to be chill with each other in order to take full advantage of human food sources: an ancient granary supplies enough rats for a lot of cats, as does a modern lady with a big bag of frisky bits, so it would be a waste of time and energy for any one cat to try and stake the entire foodsource out for exclusive use. less fighting means more eating and resting which means a longer, nicer life and a lot more kittens.  so this stray cat, she obviously has no colony if she’s wandering around and sneaking into zoo enclosures, so she’s like ‘hey! there’s food here! what up, other cat, let’s be friends, let’s be friends and share that food’. and the bobcat is like ‘??????’ because actually wild cats are pretty cautious about initiating hostilities and anything new and aggressive makes them very worried. and the domestic cat is like ‘haha cool, ok, we’re friends now, big guy. no problems.’ and the bobcat is like ‘????? well…?? ok?’ and then they are friends.  the super interesting thing about most wild cat species is they don’t really have the capacity to make friends on their own, especially outside of sibling bonds, but, if someone comes along and does all the friend-making themselves, they’ll totally roll with it. zoo cats can get really attached to their caregivers— or, in this case, a very confident little calico demonstrating exactly why her species has been so darn successful over the last nine thousand years .  so anyway that is the best thing: bobcats are not equipped to make friends, but luckily for this bobcat this homeless lady did not give any shits and made friends anyway. and now they are both happy.  #THE FACT THAT THE KEY TO DOMESTIC CAT’S SUCCESS IS THAT THEY LEARNED  #THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP #IS A FUCKING HOOT I will never be over the floofpaws of the bobcat attempting loafstance in that first picture OH MY GOOOOOOOD LOOK A VIDEO OF THEM GROOMING AND HEADBUTTING EACH OTHER!!!
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Ass, Martin, and Mike Brown: No Service 8:59 PM Tweet @Deadcollision Honestly can't believe someone would hit a teacher smh this generation is fucked 2/3/15, 8:31 AM 22.4K RETWEETS 16.7K FAVORITES Reply to Deadcollision Timelines Notifications Messages Me No Service 8:59 PM Tweet lady killa dilla @hadillerz 2/3/15 @Deadcollision @sacrilegioussss ok yeah but do you know what the teacher said to the kid Princess Layita @sacrilegious... 2/3/15 @hadillerz no what happened lady killa dilla @hadillerz @sacrilegioussss the teacher told a black kid he was gonna be the next mike brown or trayvon Martin if he didn't take his hood off 2/3/15, 5:19 PM Reply to lady killa dilla, Princess Layita Timelines Notifications Messages Me oooo T-Mobile LTE 12:35 PM 73% Tweet Victor Pope Jr @VictorPopeJr 22K RETWEETS? Little did yall know lady killa dilla @hadillerz 2/3/15 @Deadcollision @sacrilegioussss ok yeah but do you know what the teacher said to the kio Honestly can't believe someone would hit a teacher smh this generation is fucked 2/3/15 Princess Layita @sacrilegious... @hadillerz no what happened @) lady killa dilla @hadillerz sacrilegioussss the teacher told a black kid he was gonna be the next mike brown or trayvon Martin if he didn't take his hood off 2/3/15, 8:31 AM 22.4K RETWEETS 16.7K FAVORITES 2/15/15, 7:01 PNM 1,502 RETWEETS 745 FAVORITES Reply to Victor Pope Jr Timelines No tifications Messages Me oooo T-Mobile LTE 12:37 PM 72 % Tweet cecil Opsson "@VictorPopeJr: 22K RETWEETS? Little did yall know ic.twitter.com/2kipxGH1Hw that's a reason to attack a teacher? lady killa dilla @hadillerz 2/3/15丶 @Deadcollision @sacrilegioussss ok yeah but do you know what the teacher said to the kid Honestly can't believe someone would hit a teacher smh this generation is fucked Princess Layita @sacrilegious... 2/3/15 @had illerz no what happened lady killa dilla @hadillerz sacrilegioussss the teacher told a black kid he was gonna be the next mike brown or trayvon Martin if he didn't take his hood off 2/3/15, 8:31 AM 22.4K RETWEETS 16.7K FAVORITES Reply to cecil Timelines No tifications Messages Me <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://female-anti-feminist.tumblr.com/post/111231800373/bowdowntobeef-female-anti-feminist">female-anti-feminist</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bowdowntobeef.tumblr.com/post/111231301498/female-anti-feminist-bowdowntobeef">bowdowntobeef</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://female-anti-feminist.tumblr.com/post/111231176723/bowdowntobeef-cosmic-noir-proteinpills">female-anti-feminist</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bowdowntobeef.tumblr.com/post/111231106533/cosmic-noir-proteinpills-africanaquarian">bowdowntobeef</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://cosmic-noir.tumblr.com/post/111223454393/proteinpills-africanaquarian-bankuei">cosmic-noir</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proteinpills.tumblr.com/post/111220965823/africanaquarian-bankuei-babybutta">proteinpills</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://africanaquarian.tumblr.com/post/111212641053/bankuei-babybutta-controlled-khaos">africanaquarian</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://bankuei.tumblr.com/post/111210069490/babybutta-controlled-khaos-lilyglodup">bankuei</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://babybutta.tumblr.com/post/111208587654/controlled-khaos-lilyglodup-thats-a-reason">babybutta</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://controlled-khaos.tumblr.com/post/111208349759/lilyglodup-thats-a-reason-to-attack-a">controlled-khaos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://lilyglodup.tumblr.com/post/111207705848">lilyglodup</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>&ldquo;that’s a reason to attack a teacher?&rdquo; 😒</p></blockquote> <p>The teacher got off way too light if you asked me because every black person in that school should have been off in his ass.</p></blockquote> <p>&ldquo;That’s a reason to attack a teacher?&rdquo; </p></blockquote> <p>You told someone they were going to be murdered.  That’s a threat.  In some states, verbal threats constitute initiating a fight, or at least, turn the situation from “assault” to “mutually agreed combat”.</p><p>Not only that, the specific context of the words threaten the established and ongoing white violence against Black folks, so yes.  <br/></p><p>You threaten murder, you might get punched, oh surprise.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>As soon as I saw his ass on the ground I knew he deserved it.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>^^^^^ same. He deserved to get fucked up.</p></blockquote> <p>I’m proud of whoever hit him tbh </p><p>White people stay getting reckless at the mouth and it’s time they start getting consequences.</p></blockquote> <p>Talk shit get hit</p></blockquote> <p>All of you people are disgusting.</p></blockquote> <p>Just like that man 😀</p></blockquote> <p>actually worse, how does implying that people might perceive a person as a thug because their hood is up, justify him getting beat by his student? Like, it’s obvious he implied that people might perceive him as a thug, which he actually obviously is. That teacher isn’t disgusting, the student that beat him is a disgusting thug and the people who support this thug are just as, if not more disgusting.</p></blockquote> <p>&gt;teacher implies student might end up dead for looking like a thug, possibly out of genuine concern<br/>&gt;student hits him hard enough to produce copious amount of blood</p><p>Yeah, I see no thug involved here.</p>
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