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Advice, Being Alone, and America: Anna Breslaw @annabreslavw My sister is doing arn experiment: Whenever men walk towards her, she doesn't move out of the way first. So far she has collided with 28 men. 12/13/14, 5:04 PNM marithlizard: taraljc: seperis: sapphic-pink-kryptonite: phoenixonwheels: linkedsoul: little-miss-stan: elegantmess100: blossombarnes: retroasgardian: reddobastard: onethingconstant: songbirde108: mercurialkitty: emmagrant01: clevermanka: youcangofindatree: moremetalthanyourmom: Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move Gotta try it I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with. Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path. Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!” I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way. Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze. Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note. I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston. I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible. Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America. WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA It’s called the Murder Strut. IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!! A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post. One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him. It works wonders. In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them. If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm. Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America. Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how. Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you. Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds. I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium. 
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Beautiful, Crush, and Dank: You use the foot brake You use the engine brake You eat a Kit Kat to brake You use reverse gear to brake You crash into a car in front to brake You move to murica, shoot a machine gun and use the recoil to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake You live in Soviet Russia where crowds of people crush into you to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist but misspell ISIS by forgetting the second "I" and thereby become an International Space Station which is orbiting earth thus braking is unnecessary You mumble while requesting a glass of juice and accidentally incinerate 6 million people. One thing leads to another and you are responsible for world war 2 Decades after your death time travel is invented and a professional assassin travels back in time in order to kill you and prevent everything you have done. On a beautiful summer day in 1932 the assassin locates you driving your mercedes througlh town and decides to take the shot. He misses the shot, killing an innocent man. A few decades later the grandson of this innocent man invents time travel in order to travel back in time and rescue his grandfather by killing the assassin who shot his grandfather while trying to kill you. Unluckily he messes up his time travel calculations and gets teleported right in front your mercedes. You crash into him and thereby brake. Hmmmmmmmmm via /r/dank_meme https://ift.tt/2NRn9Wv

Hmmmmmmmmm via /r/dank_meme https://ift.tt/2NRn9Wv

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Beautiful, Crush, and Driving: You use the foot brake You use the engine brake You eat a Kit Kat to brake You use reverse gear to brake You crash into a car in front to brake You move to murica, shoot a machine gun and use the recoil to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake You live in Soviet Russia where crowds of people crush into you to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist but misspell ISIS by forgetting the second "I" and thereby become an International Space Station which is orbiting earth thus braking is unnecessary You mumble while requesting a glass of juice and accidentally incinerate 6 million people. One thing leads to another and you are responsible for world war 2 Decades after your death time travel is invented and a professioalassassin travels back in time in order to kill you and prevent everything you have done. On a beautiful summer day in 1932 the assassin locates you driving your mercedes through town and decides to take the shot. He misses the shot, killing an innocent man, A few decades later the grandson of this innocent man invents time travel in order to travel back in time and rescue his grandfather by killing the assassin who shot his grandfather while trying to kill you. Unluckily he messes up his time travel calculations and gets teleported right in front your mercedes. You crash into him and thereby brake. <p>I don&rsquo;t think these edgy memes will get old</p>

I don’t think these edgy memes will get old

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Books, Confidence, and Douchebag: Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend- Zone? You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him-play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to h problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he's only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I've been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person And then he asks me on a date I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn't answer my calls or e-mails, if we'd been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and kewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend- zone, and now he can't see me as friend material. I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I'm a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don't want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can't help it, I guess; it's just how they're wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It's true- know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class. So what's the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men's primal lizardbrains? Should keep making guy friends" and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? don't know. I mean, I'd really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it's so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean-and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone DATINGFAILS ORG Why do men keep putting me in the girlfriend-zone?
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Crush, Dank, and Driving: You use the foot brake You use the engine brake You eat a Kit Kat to brake You use reverse gear to brake You crash into a car in front to brake You move to murica, shoot a machine gun and use the recoil to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake You live in Soviet Russia where crowds of people crush into you to brake You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist You crash into a crowd of people to brake and claim being an ISIS terrorist but misspell ISIS by forgetting the second "I" and thereby become an International Space Station which is orbiting earth thus braking is unnecessary You mumble while requesting a glass of juice and accidentally incinerate 6 million people. One thing leads to another and you are responsible for world war 2. Decades after your death time travel is invented and a professional assassin travels back in time in order to kill you and nt everything you have done. On a eautiful summer day in 1932 the assassin locates you driving your mercedes through town and decides to take the shot. He misses the shot, killing an innocent mman. A few decades later the grandson of this innocent man invents time travel in order to travel back in time and rescue his grandlather by killing the assassin who shot his grandfather while trying to kill you. Unluckily he messes up his time travel calculations and gets teleported right in front your mercedes. You crash into him and thereby brake. <p>w o k e via /r/dank_meme <a href="http://ift.tt/2vpvofn">http://ift.tt/2vpvofn</a></p>

w o k e via /r/dank_meme http://ift.tt/2vpvofn

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Animals, Bad, and Blue Balls: hadanelith I'll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words "crucifix nail nipples" into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way I require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please? All right buckle the fuck up kids, it's the year 2012 and I've just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor. It's a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven't edited a single thing in months which isn't about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So l open the file and notice there's a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see I'm not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It'll be dead by page 24, but I don't know that yet. I'm just editing one more vampire boner fest The MC is a girl who we'll call Sue. Sue is a Good GirlT, Sue is Not Like Other Girls TM, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad BoyTM for a boyfriend. We'll call him Dickhead Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it's okay. Except it's not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he's fine with except he's got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words hey stud" and he follows, dick out before she's even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she's a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he'll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he's a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it's about to get weirder Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True LoveM who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left youl He's been 'instinctively protecting her from rapists by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that's not fucking terrifying at all. Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she'd let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoidedl Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can't decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don't mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure If you've only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve. So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: "her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn't stop" This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be "god fucking dammit" as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that l inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years When the magic al burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower" (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there's more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I'll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and its all a bit of a blur A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed THAT'S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn't take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????lIlll and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement And that's the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because I stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You're all fucking WELCOME Sorry to bring this searing back into your lives fam, but I feel it's worth noting that people are tagging this as an"ancient relic" of tumblr text posts and how they're so happy they see this every year and like guys, I hate to tell you this, but uh, this post is only six months old. I posted in on March 3rd 2016. It only seems like years because every time you see it you age five years thebibliosphere #crucifix nail nipples rides immortal #10ng post #nstw 182,818 notes Aug 6th, 2016 I know its a long read but consider: CRUCIFIX NAIL NIPPLES
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Apparently, Birthday, and College: List of Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends The song Tim McGraw was inspired by an ex-boyfriend. She told USA today, "He bought the album and said he really loved it, which is sweet. His current giriend isn't too pleased with it, though." It was named after a musician whose songs s remember her by he liked. He was going away to college so she wanted to wite him something to write him something to · Picture to Burn was written about an ex-boyfriend, whom she calls a redneck, and says he never let her drive his pick-up truck Teardrops on My Guitar was written about a boy she liked, whom she never actually dated. "Drew was a real person" she tells. Drew was surprised when he heard his name in the song. never knew she liked me" Drew says. Taylor stated that two years after the song came out Drew showed up at her house and asked her on a date. She declined. "It was the perfect fairytale ending, but a little too late." Should've Said No was about an ex-boyfriend that cheated on her. The boyfriends name was Sam, and, in the CD booklet, every S, A, and M was capitalized if it was in the correct order Joe Jonas broke up with her over the phone, something she has complained about on Ellen Degeneres' show , and elsewhere. She got her record company to let her record a song about it, to add at the last minute to her album. Forever&Always is the name of that song She also wrote Last Kiss' about him and Better than Revenge' is about his ex-girifriend, Camila Belle Taylor Lautner became her boyfriend after they met on set for the film Valentine's Day. Their relationship was popularly known as Taylor Squared. They broke up in early 2010. She mentioned going to a hockey game with him during her October 29th 2009 appearance on the Ellen Show. According to MTV he was more into her than she was into him, he going everywhere he could to see her, but it was not working out. 1] They have apparently decided to just be friends The song, Back to December is suspected to be about Taylor Lautner. The song is an apology to him. Some of the lyrics go..." Your guard is up and I know why. Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind.you gave me roses and I left them there to die. So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying Im sorry for that night. And go back to December all the time. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye." At the end of the song she asks for his forgiveness and hints to the fact she wants to be with him again. The couple hasnt reunited and at the recent American Music Awards Swift performed the song and at the end added "and he said.it's too late to pologize" from popular song Apologize" by the band One Republic [2] She is alluding to the parody video Taylor Lautner made for Apologize" 131 Time magazine listed this is one of the top apologies of 2010. 4 . Jake Gyllenhaal reported spent $160,000 to have her flown over on a private jet for a date. [5] t He later broke up with her through text The songs Dear John and I Knew You Were Trouble are rumored to be about her ex-boyfriend John Mayer whom she had a fling with at one time - The song Sparks Fly is rumored to be about her former ex-boyfriend, Kyle McKinley Speak Now was written about Taylors ex-boyfriend, Riley Howell. She said in an interview with MTV in 2011, He was a really sweet guy, but things just didn't work out. Honestly, breaking up with him was probably one of my worst choices. The song Enchanted is about Adam Young of Owl City but she never dated him, although he did state his interest in her. [61 It is rumored that We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together and Girl at Home are about Jake Gyllenhaal. Lucas Till, the boy that Taylor crushes on her music video for You Belong with Me, dated Taylor for a short while but it did not work out. Lucas says, "It couldn't work out, she was too nice The song The Moment I Knew is about Jake Gyllenhaal as it was about her 21st birthday party and about him not showing up domeharreh: I’M PEEING MYSELF

domeharreh: I’M PEEING MYSELF

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America, Target, and Too Much: Follow Dashboard ROMNEY BELIEVE IN AMERICA Welcome to Mitt Romney's official campaign Tumblr Learn more at MittRomney.com. Share Your Story Submit a Text Post ▼ Title (optional) A short one-shot. Written just for you <3 FOLLOW ABOUT DONATE GET UPDATES Post SHARE YOUR STORY "Mitt" Ryan whined as Mitt thrust into him with increasing speed "Stop talking or i'll find a new running mate." Romney lashed back, effectively silencing the shaking man V I accept the Terms of Submissiorn Submitting as bedroom--hymns Submit Follow Das OMNEY BELIEVE IN AMERICA Welcome to Mitt Romney's official campaign Tumblr Learn more at MittRomney.com. Share Your Story Submit a Text Post ▼ Title (optional) A short one-shot. Written just for you <3 FOLLOW ABOUT DONATE GET UPDATES Post SHARE YOUR STORY lashed back, effectively silencing the shaking man "I'm gonna...l'm gonna..." Ryan pleaded, throwing himself back in rhythm to meet the larger man's thrusts V I accept the Terms of Submission Submitting as bedroom--hymns Submit Follow Das OMNEY BELIEVE IN AMERICA Welcome to Mitt Romney's official campaign Tumblr Learn more at MittRomney.com. Share Your Story Submit a Text Post ▼ Title (optional) A short one-shot. Written just for you <3 FOLLOW ABOUT DONATE GET UPDATES Post 0e SHARE YOUR STORY himself back in rhythm to meet the iarger man's thrusts It was too much for Ryan, and he came all over the bed, Romney coming shortly afterwards VI accept the Terms bmission Submitting as bedroom--hymns Submit Follow Dash RoM OMNEY BELIEVE IN AMERICA Welcome to Mitt Romney's official campaign Tumblr. Learn more at MittRomney.com Share Your Story Thank you! Your submission has been received and is awaiting moderator approval. FOLLOW ABOUT DONATE GET UPDATES SHARE YOUR STORY yuiichi: bedroom—hymns: I’m going to get arrested.

yuiichi: bedroom—hymns: I’m going to get arrested.

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