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Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy @livvmaloney when I dropped everything to do some Brazilian man's English homework: all Verizon 10:00 PM _paulocaetano Today at 9:24 PM Done Hey Kitty girl I need some help Pleaseeee Yo Thank god Are u American? Yes I'm brazilian Here we have english class And i'm hang out with a cute guy I want to impress Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano If i impress him I can Kiss on this weekend Are you asking me how to impress him? 6) a-( ) Did / eat b-( ) Did / eaten you c-( ) Have /eaten d-( ) Have / eat a movie last Saturday 7) Mary a-( ) did watch b-( ) didn't watch C-( d-( ) didn't watched ) has watched March 8) He hasn't come here d-( ) already b-( )just 9) The cake is ready I have a-( ) already b-( ) yet prepared it { ) for d-( ) never at home last week 10) My father a-( ) has stayed have stayed d-( ) did stay to the USA last year 11) He a-( ) move b-( ) moved C-( ) has moved d-( ) did move twenty years. 12)r've lived here a-(since b-() yet c-( ) already d-( ) for O Reply Choose the correct alternative 1) Last year she a-( )did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) I a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday C-( ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-( ) have see d-( ) have seen 4) the man much money last night ? c-() Did / spend Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano 1) Last year she a-() did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) 1 a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday c-《 ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-f ) have see d-( ) have seen much money last night? ) Did / spend ) Has / spend the man a-( ) Did / spent b-( ) Has / spent c-( d-( some gifts for his children 5) He a-( ) has brought b-( ) has bring C-( ) brought d-f ) did bring Japanese food ? you already 6) a-( ) Did/ eat c-() Have / eatern d-( ) Have / eat Did/ eaten O Reply I need help in this shit I got u fam So u Will help me? Yes going to do it now for you One minute Thank Boo i knew New york's girls are the best one I'm from Rhode Island boo, even better Write a message... Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano I ask help for a cali chick and she block me What a bitch Yaas grl Omg grl U write U rock Write a message... livingwithdystonia: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier did he do her Spanish homework!? I must know! Brazilians speak Portuguese.
Android, Another One, and Dad: AngryMarn @AngryManTV Had a really proud dad moment today Dropped my oldest off at school at 7:30. Helped her carry her project board to the classroom. She was like You coming back at 8.3O for my presentation?" Told her l couldn't cuz l had a 9am meeting in the office 4:10 PM 3/18/19 Twitter for Android 16.1K Retweets 46K Likes AngryMan @AngryManTV. 23h Replying to @AngryManTV Gave her a hug & kiss, then prayed with her, but knew she was disappointed Drove back home & got dressed for work. Was driving to the Metro when I detoured to her school. Grabbed my work phone & sent an email telling them I'd be in after 10. 16 450 4,026 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h As hard as I worked with her on that project and rehearsing that presentation I had to be there. I needed to support my baby girl. Work could wait. 916 t49 5,557 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h I hit her teacher with a Class Dojo (parents know.. LOL) message letting her know I was coming. "Please don't let her present without me there" I said. I got to the school at like 8:45, signed in & ran down the hall t2385 3,894 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h I walked in the classroom as another young man was doing his presentation. My daughter was sitting there at her desk listening. She saw me and lit up The glow damn near brought tears to my eyes. A big bright smile came to her face Her teacher also saw me and smiled 14 t727 8,838 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h A few more kids did there presentations and then my daughter was up. Man, listen. She killed it!! Everything we had practiced and then some. She was articulate, spoke clearly and loudly. She answered all questions from other students with ease 93 507 7010 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h When she finished and sat back down, I walked over to her desk, gave her a quick kiss on the forehead & told her "Amazing job!!" t370 4,236 4 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h Another one of my partners was there supporting his son. That dude had just got off work after working a 12 hours overnight shift, but was there to see his lil man. I stayed and watched his son's presentation. 520 7009 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h Afterwards we left and just talked about the sacrifices we make as fathers and how often we're overlooked. I appreciate the brothas in my circle. Great fathers who care 15 738 8,086 AngryMan @AngryManTV 23h I left the school and got to work at like 10:45. I ain't care what nobody had to say. Nothing else mattered. An overwhelming feeling of pride has been with me all day. I look forward to getting home to give her another big hug and listen to her tell her story This is what being a real father is all about! Dads don’t sometimes get recognized so this warmed my heart by WVUGuy29 MORE MEMES

This is what being a real father is all about! Dads don’t sometimes get recognized so this warmed my heart by WVUGuy29 MORE MEMES

Android, Another One, and Dad: AngryMan @AngryManTV Had a really proud dad moment today Dropped my oldest off at school at 7:30. Helped her carry her project board to the classroom. She was like You coming back at 8:30 for my presentation?" Told her I couldn't cuz I had a 9am meeting in the office 20:10 18 Mar 19 Twitter for Android 5,479 Retweets 15.1K Likes AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h Gave her a hug & kiss, then prayed with her but knew she was disappointed. Drove back home & got dressed for work. Was driving to the Metro when I detoured to her school Grabbed my work phone & sent an email telling them l'd be in after 10 97 tl 184 1,384 AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h As hard as I worked with her on that project and rehearsing that presentation, I had to be there. I needed to support my baby girl. Work could wait. O12 t 182 1,956 AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h I hit her teacher with a Class Dojo (parents know... LOL) message letting her know I was coming."Please don't let her present without me there" I said. I got to the school at like 8:45, signed in & ran down the hall AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h I walked in the classroom as another young man was doing his presentation. My daughter was sitting there at her desk listening. She saw me and lit up. The glow damn near brought tears to my eyes. A big bright smile came to her face. Her teacher also saw me and smiled 96 tl 270 3,320 AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h A few more kids did there presentations and then my daughter was up. Man, listen. She killed it!! Everything we had practiced and then some. She was articulate, spoke clearly and loudly. She answered all questions from other students with ease 2 th 188 2,667 AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h When she finished and sat back down,I walked over to her desk, gave her a quick kiss on the forehead & told her "Amazing job!!". 93 t 132 1,535 AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h Another one of my partners was there supporting his son. That dude had just got off work after working a 12 hours overnight shift, but was there to see his lil' man. I stayed and watched his son's presentation. AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h Afterwards we left and just talked about the sacrifices we make as fathers and how often we're overlooked. I appreciate the brothas in my circle. Great fathers who care 96 t 270 2,991 AngryMan @AngryManTV 12h I left the school and got to work at like 10:45 I ain't care what nobody had to say. Nothing else mattered. An overwhelming feeling of pride has been with me all day. I look forward to getting home to give her another big hug and listen to her tell her story 9115 355 5,602 The single most wholesome thread ever

The single most wholesome thread ever

Chill, Definitely, and Life: storlek: stephendann: words4bloghere: tealdeertamer: iconuk01: srsfunny: Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Leave “WHERE’S YOUR PUPPY! WE WANNA SEE YOUR PUPPY! DID YOU JUST HAVE THE ONE? DO YOU HAVE THEM WITH YOU? ARE THERE PHOTOS?” I’m not a hundred percent positive but I’m pretty sure this is the wild life center where I visited wolves. And the safety briefing included the question “So if you’re pregnant, do you want to know or not?” Turns out there had been a bit of an awkward situation once where the keepers had casually mentioned a woman’s pregnancy in a group, and she herself didn’t even know yet. Turns out the wolves are excellent at telling if you’re pregnant and the keepers can tell based on their body language.  They get all odd and careful around pregnancy. (Even wolves knows that you have to take care of pregnant people.) So they definitely knew she was pregnant. And if I remember my BBC documentaries right, a wolf will leave the pack to give birth and introduce the cubs to the pack once she feels ready for it. And maternity leave is flexible but often around 6 months so they’re going “YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE ARE THE CUBS?? WE HAVE TO GREET THE CUBS!!“  Also the two on her back are fighting over who gets to greet her first. Giving and receiving attention is a commodity that goes by hierarchy and if you don’t accept that there will be scuffles.. The wolf lying down next to her isn’t chill about her coming back, it’s just submissive to the other wolves and waiting for it’s turn to show excitement. Now I can see why we domesticated these adorable jerks. Wolf packs have maternity leave? Wolves: better than American companies.
Aladdin, Candy, and Children: Toy Story: Andy's Parents Are Divorcing You never see the Dad They are moving (to a smaller house no less The Mom's wedding ring is off in the shot where she picks up the Burz box -Andy is introverted and emotionally attached to inanimate, masculine figures -They get a puppy (surprisingly common for divorcees) None of the babies in "Rugrats" actually exist, but they are all instead figments of Angelica's imagination, as result of her parent's negligence. Chuckie died with his mother, which explains how much of a nervous wreck his father is. Tommy was a stillborn baby, which explains why his father, Stu, was always in the basement making toys for the son he never had. Finally, the DeVilles had an abortion To compensate for not knowing the sex of the baby, Angelica invented twins in her head, one boy, one girl Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory, After Augustus gets sucked up the shoot, they all hop on board the boat through the tunnel of doom. The boat doesn't have two extra vacant seats thoughh Iit was designed with prior knowledge that they would lose two participants before that point. Later they drive a creanm spewing car with only four seats. Did they have another car waiting in the garage in case the others made it? Of course not. Willy Wonka uses children to make candy There's a scene in "Aladdin where Genie calls Aladdin's clothes 0 3rd century. However, as we all know, the Genie was locked inside a lamp for the past 10,000 years, meaning that there is no way he could have known what the 3rd century was like.This means that Aladdin actually takes place in the FUTURE, in at least 10,300 AD. The movie itself is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, one where only some Arabic culture has survived. The things called "magic" are actually just some of the technological marvels left behind by the previous civilization. These include flying carpets and genetically engineered parrots which can comprehend human speech instead of just mimicking it How else could the Genie do impressions of ancient, long-dead celebrities like Groucho Marx, Jack Nicholson, etc? Courage the Cowardly Dog is actually a normal dog and he sees the world through a dog's eyes. All the villains in the show are just normal people, but to a little dog they seem scary. They don't actually live in the middle of Nowhere, but since his owners are too old to take him outside for walks, he only knows what's around his immediate property, and everything beyond that is nothing because he's never seen it. Game begins with curtain opening shadows on Blocks bolted to more shadows on skyline Exit stage right; end of set Platforms hanging La from roof, sticking out through slots in backdrop running via hidden machines behind set Super Mario Bros. 3 never happened It was all just a stage show. A play Mario was never once in any real danger You were merely the audience lolzandtrollz: Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories

lolzandtrollz: Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories

Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally p...

Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...