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A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be- friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper. that's Doorman Dan. since meeting him last year, I've discovered .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops .he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII know when I meet him. .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be told." when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack . .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving, polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet. fuckveahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits, op? Source: cacen 114,993 notes The adventures of doorman dan
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Tumblr, Blog, and Time: corgikistan: Our Daisy went for a swim for the first time today and loved it! She kept jumping in!

corgikistan: Our Daisy went for a swim for the first time today and loved it! She kept jumping in!

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A Dream, Christmas, and Instagram: cacen so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Darn now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper that's Doorman Dan. since meeting him last year, I've discovered .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops .he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII know when I meet him." .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him .his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be .when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving, polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet. fuckyeahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits, op? Source: cacen 114,993 notes Once upon a time there was a doorman named Dan
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Cute, Girls, and Omg: al, AT&T 2:45 PM Messages +1 (646 Edt May 13, 2012 10:50 PM I really had a good time with you. I want to get to know you better. I like you Thanks for the movie night. Get some sleep for the big case tomorrow! You are welcome. Thank you. Get some rest May 14, 2012 12 20 AM Do you want us to get to know each other? I don't want to waste my time. Sorry, I don't think we AT&TS 2:45 PM Messages +1 (646) Edit Sorry, I don't think we really have a connection. Tonight was fun though, thanks. May 14, 2012 1233 AM No problem at all. I don't know how you can know that after a first date. I don't know if we are a match either. But I wanted to get to know you. But no problem May 14, 2012 1.02 AM And by the way, I think it is your loss. I am an amazing guy and would have AT&TS 246 PM Messages +1 (646) Edit May 14, 2012 1:02 AM And by the way, I think it is your loss. I am an amazing guy and would have anything for you. May 14, 2012 153 PM Hey buddy! Sorry I missed your calls. I am just finishing up in Court. Rushing to my office for a 2:30 meeting. I saw the Avengers with her yesterday. She is ok. She is cute but not hot. I have dated much hotter girls. She is a 5.5 out of 10 (average). I wanted to get to know her more thouah Message stal. AT&T 2:46 PM Messages +1 (646) Edit dated much hotter girls. She is a 5.5 out of 10 (average). I wanted to get to know her more though but she sent me a message saying didn't think there was a connection. Can you believe? I was even super nice to her. She is lucky that I went on a date with her. Average chicks are the ones that always act like they are God's gift. Anyway, I am going out with Nancy tonight. About to jump in the subway. Talk to you later bro. AT&T 3:17 PM Edt her. Average chicks are the ones that always act like they are God's gift. Anyway, I am going out with Nancy tonight. About to jump in the subway. Talk to you later bro. May 14, 2012 3:09 PM Hey Candice! I'm very sorry! I just saw this. I meant to send this to a friend but I mistakenly send it to you. It is not about you at all. It is not about you. It is about someone else. I hope you are doing wel. fatanimetitties: pussysista: Omg Holy shiiiiiitttttr
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