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Anaconda, Drunk, and Friends: Sprint Wi-Fi 2:25 PM Tweet tl saint lil rogue Retweeted Noob Saibot @Mommaafro So a woman's idea of being friends is being friends? Chef Nol @UR_SO_ COOL_NOL A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me company...while I have sex with someone else." 9/14/17, 9:26 AM 115 Retweets 168 Likes Tweet your reply 2 astronomically-androngynous: sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.  So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack
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Anaconda, Drunk, and Fall: So a woman's idea of being friends is A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is Hey listen to all my problems and keep me niambi ers Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there's a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have- you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subject s but rarely involves actually on about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can't get emotional support unless you're drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women's friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can't lean on her when you're weak, she's not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That's what a romantic partner does. But women think that's what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support they don't die when widowed at nearly the rate that wid- owers die and they don't suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don't put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn't manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can't reach out to male friends for basic friendship I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It's emotional, it's important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn't have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can't share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can't get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the worlid owes them the love of a woman, like it's a commodity... because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can't share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply miS The only way to fix this is to teach boys it's okay to love your friends. It's okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It's okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved so men, this one's on you. Women can't fix this for you; you don't listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, "What? You don't want to be my friend?" I'll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. fall-out-man Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it's called Friend vs Friendzone
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Apparently, Bad, and Bored: Woman Asks Why A Guy She Turned Down Didn't Try Harder, Gets The Perfect Response Like Bored Panda on FB Like 13M 4 days ago by Rokas A guy invites a girl on a date, tries all of his best moves, but she says no. A guy has to move on, otherwise, it's harassment. Unless it isn't? Recently, a girl surprised the internet when she posted a question on Quora, asking why her date wasn't a mind reader. She wrote, "A guy asked me out today and I told him "no', but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn't he try again?" Naturally, a question like this deserves something more than a simple answer, an answer that's written in the same language. Luckily, Ron Rule typed a response the inquirer should've understood. Scroll down to check out what he wrote! Someone surprised Quora with a strange question A guy asked me out today and I told him "no", but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn't he try again? Luckily, this guy responded with an example the inquirer had to understand Ron Rule, CEO @ As Seen On TV L+ Answered Feb 3 A girl asked me what I wanted for lunch and I said "pizza", but I really wanted steak. Why did she bring me pizza? CS. Do you see how stupid that question sounds? That's how your question sounds. Amused by the exchange, people started sharing their own experiences Malovus 5 pts I had a girl dump me once, a month later she started sending me angry texts about how I didn't fight to keep her and she was only testing me FriendlyNeighborhoodUrologist 1,153 pts Same scenario happened to me a year back. She freaked out "what do you mean 'Ok' don't you want to keep me?" BobLeeSw4ger 20 pts I asked a girl out. Was declined. She told my brother i took it like a gentleman. Little flirt later guess who got that date. MrFnortner 336 pts My wife does that. Her: You want chicken or salman? Me: Salmon. Her: Well I need to cook the chicken before it spoils. Me: Well, why did... Icommentandpostmypets 4,516 pts Play stupid games, win nothing of value. Had a ex do this. Dated a month, asked me to just be friends. Said sure. Got mad I didn't fight. MakingYouReadThingsInSamElliottsVoice 15 pts "No means no, except when a guy is supposed to read minds and know it doesn't, but it may later mean no, unless the girl changes her mind." intaglioguy 9 pts "I wanted to play games. He didn't play along. I've de- cided to blame him so I can avoid personal responsibil- ity for my actions." TheGirlInTheFireplace 7 pts No, sh't like this pisses me off. My last gf of 8 years left me on the day I was going out to buy a ring for her because she 'didn't feel wanted enough'. It tore me apart inside but I learned to move on. Kinda. A few months later she texted me and told me the reason she left me was because she wanted me to chase after her. I WANTED TO SO BADLY but I thought "It's over" meant it was over. No one will <p><a href="http://the-memeblades-chosen-one.tumblr.com/post/171072958064/celticpyro-eeveelutionsforequality" class="tumblr_blog">the-memeblades-chosen-one</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://celticpyro.tumblr.com/post/171069509284/eeveelutionsforequality-someoneintheshadow446" class="tumblr_blog">celticpyro</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/171057059312/someoneintheshadow446-apparently-this-isnt-a-bad" class="tumblr_blog">eeveelutionsforequality</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://someoneintheshadow446.tumblr.com/post/171056525840/apparently-this-isnt-a-bad-stereotype-from" class="tumblr_blog">someoneintheshadow446</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Apparently this isn’t a bad stereotype from sitcoms and that real women who do this exist. </p></blockquote> <p>It’s not just women, I’ve dated women and guys who do this. I’m not the kind of person who “fights for” anybody - if they say that they’re leaving, of course I’ll ask why and talk it through with them, but I’m not going to buy a bouquet and appear at their door at 3am to try to get something from them that they said they didn’t want to give. The amount of times that I’ve heard “If you really loved me, you’d fight for me.” and I’ve been like “Well, if I really respected you and cared for you then I’d want you to be happy, rather than wanting you to do whatever it is that I want you to do.” and they come out with “So, what, you don’t want to be with me?” and I’m like “It’s not about what I want. If I wanted somebody’s watch and they didn’t want to give me the watch, I wouldn’t just take the watch. This is no different.” and then they push and push like “Just tell me that you want to be with me and I’ll stay.” and I’m like “I’m not going to do that, I want you to do what will make you happy.” and then I get called a heartless psychopath who never loved them and will never love anybody… so that’s fun. </p> <p>~ Vape </p> </blockquote> <p>Just…don’t do this. This is bad. Communicate clearly, some people will think you actually mean what you say and others are struggling with social skills enough. If you want to stay, stay. Don’t say ‘no’ and expect someone to not respect your answer. Heck, why would you WANT someone to not respect your boundaries?</p> <p>Stuff like this ruins the legitimacy of ‘No means no’ and #MeToo. <br/></p> </blockquote> <p><i><a href="http://the-memeblades-chosen-one.tumblr.com/post/170364684149/maybe-heshe-is-just-playing-hard-to-get-ok">throw back to what I said about mind games/“playing hard to get”</a></i></p> </blockquote> <p>I knew someone in my church girls small group when I was a young teenager who bragged about how her mother purposely cut off all communication with her father (before they were together) in order to see how hard he would work to contact her. I distinctly remember saying I thought that was stupid and everyone else in the room shooting me down and saying it was romantic and great that she was “playing hard to get“ to “get him to pursue her“ and honestly screw that noise. Life‘s too short for head games and in this climate especially guys would be a whole lot less inclined to keep pursuing a woman who declined them for fear of being accused of something insidious. Just be honest, people.</p>
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Drunk, Friends, and God: Sprint Wi-Fi 2:25 PM Tweet tl saint lil rogue Retweeted Noob Saibot @Mommaafro So a woman's idea of being friends is being friends? Chef Nol @UR_SO_ COOL_NOL A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me company...while I have sex with someone else." 9/14/17, 9:26 AM 115 Retweets 168 Likes Tweet your reply 2 sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.  So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves
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