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Being Alone, Amazon, and Gif: Laura I'd like to take you up on getting coffee, by the way Mon, Jul 24, 2017, 12.00 AM Ahh I'm sorry for leaving you hanging. I might've dismissed the notification or something half asleep... But coffee would be great Stil being unemployed means Fhave free time in excess and a super flexible So just let me know when might work best for you Thu, Jul 27, 2017, 12-32 AM Wed, Aug 2,2017, 32 PM Hey Laura I know it can take forever agonizing over the perfect response, but the coffee is starting to get cold I've taken the liberty of preparing a few response choices for you, to help speed things along. Choose any letter choice you'd like to send A: I'm free to grab coffee this week i'li send you my number so we can coordinate a meet up B This week is kinda busy for me, but next week for surel I'i give you my number so we could coordinate a meet- C: I would like to grab coffee eventually but rm not quite sure when. 'll give you my number so we can figure out the when on a better platform D: Sorryi don't think I'm up for coffee anymore... you're just too intimidatingly attractive and intelligent for me. I'u still give you my number though, maybe we could meet up some time soon: Fri Aug 11, 2017, 324 AM Atter popular demand, we've decided to add a bonus answer choice, See the amendment in its entirety below E: I'd like more time to choose among options A-D, please bear with mel Sat, Aug 12, 2017, 12:26 AM While you decide among choices A-E I've written a limerick to pass the time There once was a match who's named Laura Who jammed to Chopin on Pandora, When she said she'd meet Drew For a hot Java brew She first had to grow coffee fora. Thu, Aug 24, 2017, 1:08 PM LimerΓ­cks are boring, lambic pentameter or bust Beneath the churning froth of pick-up ines, The sexting, whirling cesspool of regret, An empty cave extends like twisting mines The ghosts of voices echo in duet A conversation stalled for thirty days Still sometimes he'd return if memry served He'd rack his mind for further clever ways, To keep the chat that time forgot preserved, But life moves fast indeed for life in prime, From seeds to sprouts to trees to leaves wind-blown And so, our Laura ever lost to time And Drew forever in Starbucks alone 32017, all rights reserved Tue, Aug 29, 2017, 4:46 PM Ok I've contacted Amazon about publishing the book I wrote about this conversation, they said it could be online in three weeks ifi could slim it down 800 pages or so, I'll keep you posted through the editing process Mon, Sep 25, 2017,10:01 PM The book is finally supposed to be online tomorrow, and this bit of breaking news just published online thought you might want to see: Wed, Now 8.2017. 1137 PM We have a problem Laura the Weinsteirn Company was our sole investor the movie's in shambles now and there's no going back Today 8:15 PM Oh my god Oh my god GIF Not really sure who was more surprised here

Not really sure who was more surprised here

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Arsenal, Arthur, and Bitch: TH BURGER KING BLINDFOLDED THEIR HATERS slab-o-meat this is the scariest thing LO REAL EST What the flip did thee just flipping gabble about me, thine miniscule bitch? I’ll have thee know I bested the most prestigious jousting class in the whole of Camelot, and I hath been involved in numerous secret marches on behalf of his Majesty, King Arthur, and I hath over 300 confirmed victories on horseback. I am trained in castle of Guerrilla warfare and I am indeed the highest ranking joustee in the entire land of Great Britannia. Thee are nothing to me but another false crossbearer. I will joust thine shambles with precision the likes of which hath never been observed in the King’s lands, mark my flipping words! Thou think thou can escape retribution by shouting that hogwash at me from afar? I implore thee to think again, peasant. As we converse I am contacting my secretive network of knights across the realm and thine footsteps are being traced right now, so thou best prepare thineself for the storm, pig-maggot! The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing thou call your armour. Thou art a flipping dead man. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill thou in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare lance. Not only am I extensively trained in mounted combat, but I hath access to the entire arsenal of the Kings Royal Army, and I shall use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable derriere off the face of the realm, thou miniscule feaces. If only thou could have foreseen what unholy retribution your little β€œclever” challenge was about to bring down upon thee, maybe thou would have held thee flipping tongue. But thou couldn’t, thou didn’t, and now thee art paying the price, you goddΒ¬amn fool. I shall sΒ¬hit fury all over thou britches and thee will drown in it. Thou art flipping dead, child.
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