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Fucking, Love, and Omg: So our local children's hospital re- cently redecorated, but I'm not too sure they really thought things out yeahhiyellow: madisactuallyscreeching: wildhaunt: cazador-red: eternal-dannation: jhenne-bean: forlovefromfear: diasporanpapi: youthful-pills: ichigo-hiyoko: mintymaiden: gildatheplant: Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys. I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings. im sorry but this reply absolutely killed me red can mean whatever the heck you want it to mean, that is never going to change that this straight up looks like they DRAGGED A BLOODY BODY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR 😂 Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative like the @mintymaiden said. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death just like the chart shows you but If you want, here’s a link for you to check it out yourself. Also, check out “The Designer’s Dictionary of Color” by Sean Adams. Have fun learning something Xoxo -Designer What is Color Theory? I think y’all are missing the point here. You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around I like that the presumption here is that “No One On Tumblr Has Heard of Color Theory, Let Me Explain in Depth” rather than simply acknowledging that the VISUAL EFFECTS of this particular color choice, applied in the manner it was, can still amount to “this is a hospital and that looks like blood” like, color theory doesn’t exist in a vacuum. If your design of choice for Blood Red Paint is asymmetric splatters and sploches against the wall, or in this case, a snail trail on the hallway’s floor, an infographic won’t override the viewers’ instinct. this post is the perfect summation of tumblr’s reading comprehension and critical thought abilities Homicide detectives: why are you dragging that bleeding corpse around? Me, an intellectual: well you see it’s basic color theory… @yeahhiyellow I found it. The post. I’ve wanted to show you. Fuck color theory. Omg this is the best post ever 😂 It looks like blood? No it’s cOlOr THeOry
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Fail, Friends, and Fucking: So our local children's hospital re- cently redecorated, but I'm not too sure they really thought things out tygermama: bundibird: tabbystardust: yeahhiyellow: madisactuallyscreeching: wildhaunt: cazador-red: eternal-dannation: jhenne-bean: forlovefromfear: diasporanpapi: youthful-pills: ichigo-hiyoko: mintymaiden: gildatheplant: Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys. I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings. im sorry but this reply absolutely killed me red can mean whatever the heck you want it to mean, that is never going to change that this straight up looks like they DRAGGED A BLOODY BODY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR 😂 Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative like the @mintymaiden said. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death just like the chart shows you but If you want, here’s a link for you to check it out yourself. Also, check out “The Designer’s Dictionary of Color” by Sean Adams. Have fun learning something Xoxo -Designer What is Color Theory? I think y’all are missing the point here. You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around I like that the presumption here is that “No One On Tumblr Has Heard of Color Theory, Let Me Explain in Depth” rather than simply acknowledging that the VISUAL EFFECTS of this particular color choice, applied in the manner it was, can still amount to “this is a hospital and that looks like blood” like, color theory doesn’t exist in a vacuum. If your design of choice for Blood Red Paint is asymmetric splatters and sploches against the wall, or in this case, a snail trail on the hallway’s floor, an infographic won’t override the viewers’ instinct. this post is the perfect summation of tumblr’s reading comprehension and critical thought abilities Homicide detectives: why are you dragging that bleeding corpse around? Me, an intellectual: well you see it’s basic color theory… @yeahhiyellow I found it. The post. I’ve wanted to show you. Fuck color theory. Omg this is the best post ever 😂 It looks like blood? No it’s cOlOr THeOry Fun fact: if you fail to see how literally anyone looking at this will think “oh no someone dragged a body across the floor”, and instead go on and on about ~color theory~ you are an incompetent designer. Like, literally any designer worth their salt should have looked at the mock-up of this and said “hm,” and then decided “ok maybe let’s keep all the positive elements of Colour Theory red but maybe change the pattern.” Literally anything would have worked. Over-sized footprints. Smiley faces. Arrows. Crawling ivy. Polka dots. Stars. Anything except a blood trail. Yes, theyook like blood trails And I am convinced that the kids in that hospital play “drag the body” with their friends because it would be hilarious
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Beautiful, Chill, and Confidence: reddit Marylandman101 4y what does it feel like to do heroin 256 [deleted] 4y Actually this is an obvious question but it's not what you might think. Let me explain it to you, I've been an opiate addict for a long time and tried many drugs. Drugs that are 'uppers' have the most 'obvious' euphoria. For example if you take adderall/coke/meth/speed/MDMA you will get this shining bright euphoria, self confidence, energy, and other drug-specific feelings (for meth like you are king However, you owe these drugs back what they delivered to you. After a meth binge, or lots of MDMA use, or staying up all night on coke you will feel like shit. To an extent this aspect is similar to an alcoholic hangover. or for MDMA like you love everyone) On the other hand, for many people who experiment with heroin they are underwhelmed (not including IV usage, but most experimenters rarely ever IV first time). They just feel good, chill, happy, but they feel like this spooky drug 'heroin' hasn't delivered They are just mellow. Oh obviously it has all been a lie they will think. Heroin isn't spooky, it's chill. It's not addictive like everyone else thinks. It doesn't make you do stupid shit or stay up all day and hallucinate like amphetamines or coke. It doesn't empty your serotonin like MDMA or give you a hangover like alcohol. People tend to just think oh, what a nice drug. So the next day they wake up and everything is normal. No headache or shitty feeling--just a slight afterglow of that nice feeling. Oh it was cheap as well! It only cost $10 for a whole night of being high! I thought people said heroin was expensive? And then next weekend comes... There are all these drugs I could do but I liked heroin. It didn't 'fuck me up,' I could still think clearly. No hangover. No feeling like shit later. I still was awake. It just made me happy and content with life. Oh and it's only $10! Well, I should get some more for the whole weekend. This is great! I will use Heroin on the weekends now! Now let's say this person works and has responsibilities. He knows he can't go into work drunk, or on MDMA, or high. So he doesn't. It's actually simple. But heroin... Well the user might actually find they do better work on heroin. Instead of being sad or grumpy or depressed with his jo... he is just... happy. Mellow. Content. Everything is fine and the world is beautiful. It's raining, it's dark, I woke up at 5:30AM, I'm commuting in traffic. I would have had a headache, I would have been miserable, I would have wondered how my life took me to this point. This point I'm at right now. But no, no, everything is fine. Life is beautiful. The rain drops are just falling and in each one I see the reflection of every persons life around me. Humanity is beautiful. In this still frame shot of traffic on this crowded bus I just found love and peace Heroin is a wonder drug. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin makes me who I wish I was. Heroin makes life worth living. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin builds up a tolerance fast. Heroin starts to cost more money. I need heroin to feel normal. I don't love anymore. Now I'm sick. I can't afford the heroin that I need. How did $10 used to get me high? Now I need $100. That guy that let me try a few lines the first time doesn't actually deal. Oh I need to find a real dealer? This guy is a felon and carries a gun--he can sell me the drug that lets me find love in the world. No this isn't working, I need to quit. To answer your question, heroin feels nice. That's all, it just feels very nice. You can make the rest up for yourself. Attach your own half-truths to this drug that will show you the world and for a moment you will feel as clever as Faust. Edit: Thank you for the kind words. I received help and I'm doing well now. Luckily I was able to pull up and get help right before I entered the deadly downward spiral. Some of my friends have not done as well. Sorry to steal the limelight from OP 2675 Ifuxdalion 4y Reading that was more haunting than any anti-drug campaign that I've been exposed to. Thanks. A lot. 907
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Advice, Apparently, and Ass: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK FANDOM IT'S SICKENING. SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons theamazingcaptainspider: hayley566: waveringwannabevalkyrie: libertarirynn: hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that. Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke. Y'all really can’t distinguish fiction from reality huh? I call bullshit on “wOrLd oF mEn” bullshit because CM’s writing was fucking trash. Literally every single fucking man she met besides Nick Fury and the Skrull guy was a complete misogynistic caricature, to the point that her FUCKING DAD’S first reaction to her getting in a go-cart accident was not desperate fear/concern for his only daughter, but to…immediately belittle her? No babe that’s not reality, that’s shit ass writers who have no sense of nuance and no sense of developing villains because “UHHHHH HERO IS WOMAN AND MAN HATE WOMAN SO ALL MEN BAD”.Take another example, the boot camp scene where apparently like 8 white guys have nothing to do except stand around and taunt Carol? Except in real life boot camp no one has fucking time to stand around, your ass is constantly being drilled and harassed by your drill instructor, and all of the recruits are being shaped into a unit to WORK TOGETHER, with everyone being treated equally harshly. (Also, I’m supposed to believe that boot camp back in the 80’s/90’s was unisex?) If it was just Carol training on her own, that again begs the question of why an entire group of guys was just staring at her while she was training instead of I don’t know… doing their own training? Relaxing on base during what little leisure time they had? But those questions don’t matter because the writers didn’t give a damn about reality. They only gave a fuck about pushing their bullshit man hating agenda, strawmanning all men, and creating a situation where Carol was nothing but a poor innocent victim of evil cruel men. They literally only existed to victimize Carol and make all of her behavior seem acceptable because “they were mean to her first, so if she decides to nearly break a man’s hand off and steal his motorcycle later, it’s okay!” That’s not fucking realism, that’s hack writing.Captain Marvel is bad, she’s not even remarkable by the standards of female characters, and quite frankly it’s insulting that you ignore and downplay other, far more iconic and well-written female heroes just because Carol plays to your politics. @waveringwannabevalkyrie “world of man” is a term used in the Wonder Woman comics several times to describe the world outside of themiscrya. That’s why I used it here. I would go over how abusive men do exist, just like abusive women do and how I’ve had my own experiences with an abusive father but from your tone, I think if I explain anymore you would make fun of me or something with the whole “aw you have daddy issues and that’s why you like the movie lol”. I’m so hope you’re not that cruel but knowing the internet, you cannot be safe. I just hope you’re not like those kind of people that I met and are willing to at least understand that just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.@libertarirynn as someone who’s seen the movie, I feel like the struggle was more than just “not knowing how awesome she was.” She was being lied to about her entire life for six years and we even see her have a breakdown upon realizing this. We see her sobbing out in a field over finding all this out. The idea of finally being free from the control of others, whether male or female (people seem to forget that minn-erva was also a villain in the movie) in both a physical and emotional sense. Despite Carol having her memories wiped in the beginning, the audience gets flashes of the sexism she faced growing up. While I love both films, I will say that captain marvel spoke to me more than Wonder Woman because of my own personal experiences and if it didn’t do the same for you guys, that’s fine. I just feel that the movie gets misrepresented or misinterpreted a lot and that it is unfair. It sucks that Wonder Woman is used to bash captain marvel despite the different approaches the movies take towards women’s issues. In fact, that behavior has caused me to like Wonder Woman less and less and I really don’t want that to happen. Not only do I start to see the flaws in the film being put on a pedestal, I become more defensive of the one that’s being misrepresented. I still love the Wonder Woman movie but the internet makes it hard to sometimes.I guess what I’m saying is…I wish fans wouldn’t use one to bash the other. I honestly wasn’t trying to bash Wonder Woman or use captain marvel to do so in my last reply. I was just explaining how one is more successful since it tried to be more palatable while the other took more risks in being a feminist film. I hope you both can see that I am not looking for a fight and am just explaining myself. I hope this helped you understand where I’m coming from and that instead of arguing or throwing insults like what usually happens online, this can be handled amicably. Both are good movies.People who hate them or use one to trash the other are secist idiots. End of story Or maybe they just have a different opinion and maybe you need to learn how to spell “sexist” before calling anyone else an idiot.
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Advice, Life, and Love: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK FANDOM IT'S SICKENING. SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that. Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke.
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Fucking, Love, and Sorry: So our local children's hospital re- cently redecorated, but I'm not too sure they really thought things out eternal-dannation: jhenne-bean: forlovefromfear: diasporanpapi: youthful-pills: ichigo-hiyoko: mintymaiden: gildatheplant: Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys. I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings. im sorry but this reply absolutely killed me red can mean whatever the heck you want it to mean, that is never going to change that this straight up looks like they DRAGGED A BLOODY BODY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR 😂 Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative like the @mintymaiden said. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death just like the chart shows you but If you want, here’s a link for you to check it out yourself. Also, check out “The Designer’s Dictionary of Color” by Sean Adams. Have fun learning something Xoxo -Designer What is Color Theory? I think y’all are missing the point here. You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around I like that the presumption here is that “No One On Tumblr Has Heard of Color Theory, Let Me Explain in Depth” rather than simply acknowledging that the VISUAL EFFECTS of this particular color choice, applied in the manner it was, can still amount to “this is a hospital and that looks like blood” like, color theory doesn’t exist in a vacuum. If your design of choice for Blood Red Paint is asymmetric splatters and sploches against the wall, or in this case, a snail trail on the hallway’s floor, an infographic won’t override the viewers’ instinct. this post is the perfect summation of tumblr’s reading comprehension and critical thought abilities
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Fucking, Love, and Sorry: So our local children's hospital re- cently redecorated, but I'm not too sure they really thought things out eternal-dannation: jhenne-bean: forlovefromfear: diasporanpapi: youthful-pills: ichigo-hiyoko: mintymaiden: gildatheplant: Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys. I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings. im sorry but this reply absolutely killed me red can mean whatever the heck you want it to mean, that is never going to change that this straight up looks like they DRAGGED A BLOODY BODY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR 😂 Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative like the @mintymaiden said. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death just like the chart shows you but If you want, here’s a link for you to check it out yourself. Also, check out “The Designer’s Dictionary of Color” by Sean Adams. Have fun learning something Xoxo -Designer What is Color Theory? I think y’all are missing the point here. You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around I like that the presumption here is that “No One On Tumblr Has Heard of Color Theory, Let Me Explain in Depth” rather than simply acknowledging that the VISUAL EFFECTS of this particular color choice, applied in the manner it was, can still amount to “this is a hospital and that looks like blood” like, color theory doesn’t exist in a vacuum. If your design of choice for Blood Red Paint is asymmetric splatters and sploches against the wall, or in this case, a snail trail on the hallway’s floor, an infographic won’t override the viewers’ instinct. this post is the perfect summation of tumblr’s reading comprehension and critical thought abilities
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Fucking, Love, and Sorry: So our local children's hospital re- cently redecorated, but I'm not too sure they really thought things out cazador-red: eternal-dannation: jhenne-bean: forlovefromfear: diasporanpapi: youthful-pills: ichigo-hiyoko: mintymaiden: gildatheplant: Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys. I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings. im sorry but this reply absolutely killed me red can mean whatever the heck you want it to mean, that is never going to change that this straight up looks like they DRAGGED A BLOODY BODY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR 😂 Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative like the @mintymaiden said. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death just like the chart shows you but If you want, here’s a link for you to check it out yourself. Also, check out “The Designer’s Dictionary of Color” by Sean Adams. Have fun learning something Xoxo -Designer What is Color Theory? I think y’all are missing the point here. You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around I like that the presumption here is that “No One On Tumblr Has Heard of Color Theory, Let Me Explain in Depth” rather than simply acknowledging that the VISUAL EFFECTS of this particular color choice, applied in the manner it was, can still amount to “this is a hospital and that looks like blood” like, color theory doesn’t exist in a vacuum. If your design of choice for Blood Red Paint is asymmetric splatters and sploches against the wall, or in this case, a snail trail on the hallway’s floor, an infographic won’t override the viewers’ instinct. this post is the perfect summation of tumblr’s reading comprehension and critical thought abilities
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Apparently, Church, and Fail: captainlovelxce hey have i ever told y all about my cursed apartment building cursed how, you say???? well, here's the thing: no-one can fuckin see it. let me explain further .i live in a tiny flat in a big red brick building with huge windows. it has a driveway with two columns on either side not a thing you usually see in this area. it is opposite a bus stop and several corner shops. it is on a main, busy road. most significantly, it is attached to a church. a well- known church with a big pink sign on the front. all things that would make it easy to spot, right???? like if i gave that list of distinguishing features to someone along with my address then they'd be able to find my filat easily, right??? well APPARENTLY NOT we have never once had a delivery to our flat (outside of the usual postal service) where we haven't been called by a lost courier usually, they are about thirty seconds away. "i'm by the church and i don't know where to go from here," they say. so we tell them, "it's the building right next to the church!! the one you're outside. that church. it's the next building along. it's opposite a bus stop and it has a driveway with two big columns." without fail, they call back 5-10 minutes later, still lost. i have answered calls from both lost delivery people and friends where i've been able to see them standing in front of the driveway, from my window a friend of mine once drove past my building three times, while on the phone to me, getting increasingly panicked that she couldn't figure out where she was going. she parked in a nearby road and i had to walk to her car and guide her to the driveway however, my flatmate and i found this place when we were flat-hunting first time, no trouble, and we don't know what that means other than i guess this place chose us and the rent is so cheap because the estate agents were so relieved to find the first people in a thousand years who could actually see this fuckin building . today a food delivery person called me to say he was outside the church was told to go to the next building along, (a 20 second journey on foot) and arrived at my door 20 minutes later, saying, "sorry, i went to the back of this building by mistake. weird right???" this building doesn't have a back it backs onto the rest of the church it doesn't have a back where did he go . . toastynoneofyourbusiness There's probably a wizard's pub somewhere around there and the spell keeps overlapping with the nearby buildings captainlovelxce i haven't really been interacting with the notes on this post bc it blew up unexpectedly and ive been rly busy, but reblogging again to say - holy fuck, there is actually a pub just down the road that's all boarded up and derelict but i HAVE seen people go in and out of it and sometimes you can see a light on in the upstairs window Source:motherfortuna #bahahahahah #sacred space #fairy circle 92,553 notes TFW you live in a liminal space
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Confidence, Facebook, and Friends: 12:38 PM Ce facebook.com **00o AT&T d.akasha.xo Fellas y'all think your mannerisms are harmless fun and girls overreact when y'all catcall us but let me explain it to you. When y'all follow us for blocks and our head is buried in our phones it's not because we're acting like we don't see you. We're actually paying a lot of attention to you. We're also in the group chat giving 5+girls a full description of what you look like and what you're wearing and sharing our location If anything happens they know who to look for. When y'all grab our arms on the street trynna talk to us and a few days go by and you wonder why you don't see us walk that way anymore it's because we rerouted our entire trip to avoid you possibly grabbing us again. When y'all see us at parties and make jokes about us always going to the bathroom in large groups it's because there's safety in numbers and 3 of us could fight off one of you a lot easier than one of us could. Y'all think it's fun and games, but for us it's terrifying. Y'all are literal strangers to us on the streets but approach us with all the confidence in the world. It's not funny. We grow up listening to our mother/aunts/sisters/friends etc. tell stories about their close encounters with men who felt lke they owed them something. We don't owe y'all shit. If y'all see someone walking by and you don't know them keep it at a simple "hi. Stop following us. Stop grabbing us. Stop demanding we pay attention to y'all when we're just trying to exist in peace. Keep this in mind for summer 17. shitmensendme: getinmelanin011: hoekagei: SAY 👏🏽 THAT 👏🏽 SHIT 👏🏽 AGAIN 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 This is so so so so so fucking FUCKING accurate, oh my God!! Bringing this back for summer 18
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Empire, Fall, and Food: Dear Guy Who Just Made My ntruding Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredient:s going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. Whern you make a burrito, you should put the ingredi- ents in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what: Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that, Because at least THEN would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR Nope My experience was more like HEY BEANS ITS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND IFOR A MINUTE UNTILI CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET You built this thing like a fucking pack of And don't even fucking think I'm about to open this shit up and re engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. IALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THATS HOWI DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOK ING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE What's that? should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DONT WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK IDIDN'T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEWW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER That's like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOUA WRENCH, SO BE COOL Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They're caⅡed fucking A fork. My god.I haven't cried sinceI was six, now People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. The absolute worst way to make a burrito
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Empire, Fall, and Food: BEANS MOLE J MEAT CHBESE RKE CILAVIZO SALsA Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner abookandacoffee: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. (Source) I always need this on my blog. I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.  Yes @kirkfuffle MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK. Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back! A fucking pack of lifesavers
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Bad, Children, and Comfortable: SWeet Cakes We lost everything' Christian bakers fined $135K for refusing to make lesbian couple's wedding cake chaotic-tides: xaldien: startlememe-trash: karadin: trueheart46: plaidandredlipstick: hussyknee: I love how they left out the part about them giving out the lesbian couple’s personal information to send them death threats, running them out of their home, and encouraging other fundies to petition to have their children taken away. **examines fingernails** Also the fact that they raised half million dollars from other raging homophobes to fund this bigotry. I hope the dickholes lose the shirts off their backs and have to live out of a van. But that’s too much to hope for. I just wanna add that the lesbian couple were getting married because their mutual friend had just died of cancer and they were adopting her two daughters… and that the death threats were so bad that they had to quit their jobs and move. it’s never just about a cake. it’s about the precedent you set when you allow ppl to discriminate. it’s about all the disgusting bigots that crawl out of the woodwork when they feel like they have the right to hate. Yeah I mean if they don’t feel comfortable making the cake due to their beliefs then a polite decline is fine. It’s when, as previous stated, people try to discriminate especially so aggressively that things start to escalate. No, trueheart, a polite decline is NOT FINE. Let me explain why, when you operate a business, you are licensed  in your state, county and city. To get a license you agree that you will not discriminate on the basis of ethnicity, religion, gender and sexuality. When you decline service for these reasons (not for example, that the customer was rude, or bounced a check) you are breaking the law and you will be fined. The way to avoid this is to a) operate your business without a license or b) move to where the group you want to discriminate against is not protected by law. I would agree but, freedom of religion is a thing, if the bakery was solely owned by them, they would have the right to decline. If it was a mass produced workplace like McDonald’s it would be a different story. You should not force someone to do something against their religion, which is why this discussion is hard to decide for many people. Oh, fuck you. They’re a business and have to follow business laws. The courts found that freedom of religion does not apply to a law that specifically says denial of service based on sexual orientation is illegal. Point blank. If you don’t know how business laws work, don’t open a business.
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Empire, Fall, and Food: BEANS MOLE J MEAT CHBESE RKE CILAVIZO SALsA Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner mybigfatgaylife: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. (Source) I always need this on my blog. I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.  Yes @kirkfuffle MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK. Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back! I want this post and one of the “be nice to underpaid workers” posts to fight it out in the Tumblr Performative Progressivism Thunderdome.
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Animals, Cars, and Cats: 22%A 1:13 PM Title If you are evacuating to a hotel/motel and they say they DON'T accept pets, don't get ugly, but simply tell them that is against the law & FEMA established that after Hurricane Katrina! The Pets Evacu ion an StandarAct (P TS) was a bi-p rti itiaii he U ited St ort 1on use of re states seeking deral Emergency Management Agency (EMA) assistance to accommodate pets and service animals in their plans for evacuating residents facing disasters The more you know!!! Stay Safe everyon!! writertobridge: The claim that the PETS Act requires hotels/motels to shelter your animals is false. Let me explain. Why Was The PETS Act Passed? The PETS Act was signed into law on October 6th, 2006. The bill was brought forward after the events of Hurricane Katrina. Before and during Katrina, there were no evacuation measures for pets set in place when natural disasters occurred in the United States. None. At all. Because of that, it’s estimated that about 70,000 pets were left behind. It’s believed that 15,000 of them were killed. Images of families leaving their pets behind made international news. One in particular showed a young boy being torn away from his beloved dog, Snowball. Aftermath pictures showed dogs stranded on car roofs and cats swimming to get to safety. The loss and horror was so high, lawmakers decided that evacuation efforts for pets, as well as people, were necessary during future events. What Does The PETS Act Do? The Pets Evacuation and Transportation Standards Act allowed the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to create guidelines for state and local emergency services to use in regards to pets and families with pets during natural disasters. If states wanted FEMA funding, they needed to create emergency plans that: Allows pets to stay in state or federally funded shelters during natural disasters. Allows families with pets to enter community shelters with their animals. Allows rescue operations specifically to save household pets and service animals. States that included pet rescue and relief efforts in their emergency planning would continue to get FEMA support. Community shelters that allow animals can even be reimbursed for their care later on. Why Does The PETS Act Not Apply To Hotels/Motels? The PETS Act only applies to government agencies. Hotels and motels are not government or state run entities. They are exempt from the law and are not required to shelter animals during natural disasters. It is not illegal for them to turn away pets if it is against hotel policy. Why Is This Important? Many people are reblogging the original post without checking how accurate the sources are, if any sources are even provided. Some people in the path of a hurricane may read and believe said information without finding out the truth until they arrive at a hotel. There were reports of a family having their dogs turned away from a hotel during Hurricane Harvey. Some families may choose to leave their pets in the car and stay into the hotel themselves. Others may lie and then sneak their animals in anyway. Others, still, may leave and try to find more accommodating shelter somewhere else. Either way, this is added stress to an already stressful situation. And it can be dangerous. If families decide to leave and look for different shelter, they could get stuck in flood waters. It only takes a few inches of water for cars to start floating. If they start floating, they can be dragged through the currents and into extremely flooded areas. Something like this happened during Hurricane Harvey. Six people in one van died because their car was submerged in flood waters after the family members tried to escape the area. During times like this, proper safety and shelter information is a must. You should always double-check everything before you reblog it when lives are on the line. You don’t know who’s reading it. You don’t know who will believe it. You don’t know what that misinformation will cost someone.

writertobridge: The claim that the PETS Act requires hotels/motels to shelter your animals is false. Let me explain. Why Was The PETS Act Pa...

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Best Friend, Cats, and Children: App Store oo ?4:27 PM Tweet Sasha @sashacave My friend's stepmom gave his therapy cat away. Retweet if you want to bring him back home Maybe she'll reconsider #bringhomebeebles 7/5/17, 4:27 PM l VIEW TWEET ACTIVITY Tweet your reply Home Explore Notifications Messages Me vitariesocks: tittydemon: BRING OUR BOY HOME!! #bringhomebeebles Hi guys! I’m ‘the friend’, haha! My name is Joey, and my abusive stepmom stole our cat. Here’s a petition where you can sign to help me get him back! Please please please take a moment to sign. My little brother and I miss Beebles so much. He’s such a good boy, and our best friend. Let me explain a little bit about my situation. My family was going out of the country, and so, as always, we got someone to look after our cats. However, my stepmom decided to give Chip (or Beebles!) away to a friend to stay with instead because he has a bit of an anxiety problem. My stepmom is an emotionally abusive, manipulative person who has threatened me physical harm a few times. Of course, she did not tell any of us that our cat would be staying elsewhere, and Beebles is my little brother’s cat (not hers!). The only way I heard about Beebles being sent away was from overhearing a conversation. And in a few days, she sent him away while we weren’t home. After I asked her about it, she began threatening me with things like, “maybe he won’t come home” every once in awhile. I was really worried about Beebles being separated from the other cats in the house. He and his sister are very close, and separation anxiety between siblings can be dangerous for cats. Then my family went out of the country for two weeks. By the end of the trip, my little brother asked when his cat was going to be coming home. My stepmom dropped the bomb that she had already decided herself that he wasn’t coming home. My little brother and I cried about it, but vowed to actually talk to her later. However, politely asking her about it a few days later resulted in my brother and I both having panic attacks on the back porch, and afraid to sleep or go in our house. She accused us of not loving him, and not taking care of him, and tried to gaslight us into believing that we were horrible people who did not love our cat and THAT’S why she stole him. Which isn’t true in the least. My cats are my absolute life. I love them more than I can possibly express, and that accusation really hit me the hardest. I love Beebles so much. It was so horrible to hear her say such lies. She also made the situation all about herself, and how she was ‘the only one who took care of him’, even though I’m the one who cares for the cats when I’m at my dad’s house. Upon me telling her no matter what she thought, it was wrong for her to get rid of Beebles without telling us because we never got to say goodbye, she admitted to hating Beebles because of his anxiety disorder. She also tried to turn our own bio dad, who loves Beebles and also wants him back– against us. His children. She made herself the victim and tried to pretend that we were all ‘turning against and torturing her’. She physically won’t let Beebles back into the house now, even though all of HER pets have remained at home. She screams at us and causes panic attacks when we ask about him. Even my dad knows that what she’s doing is incredibly wrong and wants Beebles back. Beebles is such a good cat, and I love and miss him so much. Not to mention he was adopted as a way to recover from our parents’ messy divorce. My stepmom does not see that what she did was wrong at all, and that really hurts.In any case, please please please please please take a moment to sign our petition. It will help show my dad that other people care about me getting Beebles back, and motivate him to be the authority figure against my stepmom and get Beebles back to our house. It will also show my stepmom that, no matter what she thinks, what she did was unjust, as shown by the voices of you all. My brother and I miss Beebles so much. He’s such a loving cat and such a good good good boy. We need him home with us. Please. thisthis broke my heart
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Clothes, Steam, and Gorgeous: HE LEFT WITHIN A FEW HOURS AFTER JOINING A VERY EXCLUSIVE COLONY. REASON HE SAID TO RECEPTIONIST WAS A PURE GOLD A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, Did you call for me?' The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?" She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'did vou call for me?" savs the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. 'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me. e huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with himm The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says. The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and vou can keep the £500 membership fee. 'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities, The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a <p>He Left With In A Few Hours After Joining A Very Exclusive Colony. Reason He Said To Receptionist Was A Pure Gold.</p>
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