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Bodies , Drunk, and Fucking: teen wolf season 1: werewolves exist, weakened by wolfsbane, they are strongest at the full moon, exist in packs with Alphas, Betas and Omegas, and a bite or a scratch turns humans into them me: OK yeah classic werewolf lore season 2: ok turns out werewolves can resurrect from the fucking dead using moonlight and their own beta. oh and werewolves can turn into giant lizard men with paralytic venom if the human was a dick alright, a lot weirder but I can handle thi- me: wha season 3: [slurring] yeah so werewolf twins can fuse their bodies together like voltron to become a bigger wolf...but ONLY if they're shirtless. Also wolves can store memories in their claws. me: wtf this is getting pretty wei- season 4: if if - if your throat gets fatally slashed by a werewolf [burps] that doesn't mean that you'll actually die. You could actually be turned into a were-jaguar and control Viking bersekers for some [hiccups] fucking reason. also were-jaguars can can magically just freaking de-age adults into teenagers somehow and we'll never explain why me: jesus christ that is the stupi- season 5: [barely intelligible] when a human slurps rainwater from a regular wolf's footprint, he'll transform.... me: oh that's actually great, back to the classic lor- season 5: into this humungous eight foot tall cgi beast of a werewolf made out of fucking shadows that can only be killed by a spear tempered with his French sister's blood me: go home Jeff Davis you drunk You can actually see where the showrunnersโ€™ ideas start to get worse and worse
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