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Ass, Beliebers, and Charlie: Kari Bowling Tumblr Boring The internet must hate us XD Like Comment Unfollow Post Share 2 hours ago 2 people like this Kennedy Brook Williams Imao i had mine for like 15 minutes and i just deleted it,! about an hour ago . Like、A1 Amber Renee Burchett shut the hell up. tumblr is life 2 minutes ago Like Kari Bowling no, I made one and 5 minutes later i deleted it xDD about a minute ago Like Amber Renee Burchett do not speak of tumblr in any of this sort about a minute ago Like Kari Bowling Im sorry? a few seconds ago Like Amber Renee Burchett ill post this on there and they'll find a few seconds ago Like Write a comment evilcatv: m8snn: blue10273: 24nowait25: spirit-money: lexxiechan: samfuckingb3ttl3y: music-geek1222: pocket-full-of-cher: certainlynotwitty: loveot0my: fuckyeahfalling-in-reverse: fifty-shades-of-cumberbatch: 69ocock: garnetgivealittlelove: burningbridges97: your-heart-has-spoken-so-let-go: until-the-earth-is-free: dumbledoctor: geekerypokery: enjoi-life-now: thatfunnyblog: We found you potterheads, grab your wands whovians, hop in your TARDISes supernatural fans, get the shotguns sherlockians, hire your consulting criminals tributes, knock an arrow avengers fans, assemble lotr fans, unsheath Sting we’ve got a few people to track down Les Mis fans, build a barricade? Yes? Gleeks, grab your slushies Rizzles fans, grab your guns and scalpels Wizards and Witches, time to kick muggle ass. NCIS fans, grab your gear. Castle fans, alakazam that jackass The Last Airbender fans master your bending Assassin’s Creed fans, ready your hidden blades. Falling In Reverse fans, get Charlie. BVB Army, get on your warpaint. Slash gash Terror Crew, grab your chainsaws. VE! Coven, show your fangs. Directioners, get the fucking glitter beliebers,get the supras. Of Mice and Men fans, get squidgy. Motionless In White fans, get Officer Peppercorn and some PCP. Pierce The Veil fans, get the Sheepcat. Sleeping With Sirens fans, get Sam Link.. Naruto fans, grab your kunai Bleach fans, ready your zampakuto Homestucks get your Strife Specibus no fucking way its the actual post I’m shaking this post was never meant to be seen outside of screenshots and jokes this is one of the worst posts on tumblr every single one of them is deactivated, it’s a fucking graveyard, a memorial park My eyes cannot comprehend what i saw here
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Ass, Beliebers, and Charlie: Kari Bowling Tumblr Boring The internet must hate us XD Like Comment Unfollow Post Share 2 hours ago 2 people like this Kennedy Brook Williams Imao i had mine for like 15 minutes and i just deleted it,! about an hour ago Like 1 Amber Renee Burchett shut the hell up. tumblr is life 2 minutes ago Like Kari Bowling no, I made one and 5 minutes later i deleted it xDD about a minute ago Like Amber Renee Burchett do not speak of tumblr in any of this sort about a minute ago Like Kari Bowling Im sorry? a few seconds ago Like Amber Renee Burchett ill post this on there and they'll find a few seconds ago Like Write a comment We found you potterheads, grab your wands whovians, hop in your TARDISes supernatural fans, get the shotguns sherlockians, hire your consulting criminals tributes, knock an arrow avengers fans, assemble lotr fans, unsheath Sting weve got a few peopie to track down Les Mis fans, build a barricade? Yes? Gleeks, grab your slushies Rizzies fans, grab your guns and scalpels Wizards and witches, time to kick muggle ass. NCIS fans, grab your gear. Castle fans, alakazam that jackass The Last Airbender fans master your bending Assassin's Creed fans, ready your hidden blades Falling In Reverse fans, get Charlie BVB Army, get on your warpaint Slash gash Terror Crew, grab your chainsaws VE! Coven, show your fangs Directioners, get the fucking glitter beliebers.get the supras. Of Mice and Men fans, get squidgy Motionless In White fans, get Oficer Peppercom and some PCP Pierce The Vell fans, get the Sheepcat Sleeping With Sirens fans, get Sam Link Naruto fans, grab your kunal Bleach fans, ready your zampakuto Homestucks get your Strife Specibus kinkshamer69: a lot of people have a lot of different opinions as to what the worst post on tumblr is but this is objectively it
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Ass, Beliebers, and Charlie: Kari Bowling Tumblr Boring The internet must hate us XD Like Comment Unfollow Post Share 2 hours ago 2 people like this Kennedy Brook Williams Imao i had mine for like 15 minutes and i just deleted it,! about an hour ago . Like、A1 Amber Renee Burchett shut the hell up. tumblr is life 2 minutes ago Like Kari Bowling no, I made one and 5 minutes later i deleted it xDD about a minute ago Like Amber Renee Burchett do not speak of tumblr in any of this sort about a minute ago Like Kari Bowling Im sorry? a few seconds ago Like Amber Renee Burchett ill post this on there and they'll find a few seconds ago Like Write a comment jared-padaleski-is-polish-now: m8snn: blue10273: 24nowait25: spirit-money: lexxiechan: samfuckingb3ttl3y: music-geek1222: pocket-full-of-cher: certainlynotwitty: loveot0my: fuckyeahfalling-in-reverse: fifty-shades-of-cumberbatch: 69ocock: garnetgivealittlelove: burningbridges97: your-heart-has-spoken-so-let-go: until-the-earth-is-free: dumbledoctor: geekerypokery: enjoi-life-now: thatfunnyblog: We found you potterheads, grab your wands whovians, hop in your TARDISes supernatural fans, get the shotguns sherlockians, hire your consulting criminals tributes, knock an arrow avengers fans, assemble lotr fans, unsheath Sting we’ve got a few people to track down Les Mis fans, build a barricade? Yes? Gleeks, grab your slushies Rizzles fans, grab your guns and scalpels Wizards and Witches, time to kick muggle ass. NCIS fans, grab your gear. Castle fans, alakazam that jackass The Last Airbender fans master your bending Assassin’s Creed fans, ready your hidden blades. Falling In Reverse fans, get Charlie. BVB Army, get on your warpaint. Slash gash Terror Crew, grab your chainsaws. VE! Coven, show your fangs. Directioners, get the fucking glitter beliebers,get the supras. Of Mice and Men fans, get squidgy. Motionless In White fans, get Officer Peppercorn and some PCP. Pierce The Veil fans, get the Sheepcat. Sleeping With Sirens fans, get Sam Link.. Naruto fans, grab your kunai Bleach fans, ready your zampakuto Homestucks get your Strife Specibus no fucking way its the actual post I’m shaking this post was never meant to be seen outside of screenshots and jokes this is one of the worst posts on tumblr I couldn’t tell if this was satire or not and I’m not sure if I want to know
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Beautiful, Blessed, and Bones: deadcatwithaflamethrower: hebic: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlonstage: fuckyeahdeathlyhallows: sirlestrange: #that is a human as a rat as a cup That was a long 12 years for Wormtail. Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment. Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die. Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out. What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud. Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands). Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out. Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that. And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes. Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom. - Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup. Scabbers had not become a teacup. Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail. It was moving. Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong. Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time. He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.” “Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.” It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either. Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk. “Um, Professor?” Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?” “Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?” “I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along. Nothing happened. Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled. “Now that’s odd,” she said softly. As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer. She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!” And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed. - Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils. Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade. Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back. The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand. - Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed. He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process. From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students. - Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand. “Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared. - Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit. - Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall. Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back. Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap. And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.” In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?” She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away. “Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.” - The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time. Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references. Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”) And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class. A personal record. I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person. Beautiful, simply beautiful! Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is. @deadcatwithaflamethrower My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic* *reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
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Beautiful, Blessed, and Bones: rmh8402: pegasusdragontiger: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlonstage: fuckyeahdeathlyhallows: sirlestrange: #that is a human as a rat as a cup That was a long 12 years for Wormtail. Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment. Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die. Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out. What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud. Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands). Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out. Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that. And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes. Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom. - Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup. Scabbers had not become a teacup. Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail. It was moving. Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong. Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time. He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.” “Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.” It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either. Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk. “Um, Professor?” Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?” “Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?” “I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along. Nothing happened. Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled. “Now that’s odd,” she said softly. As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer. She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!” And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed. - Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils. Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade. Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back. The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand. - Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed. He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process. From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students. - Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand. “Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared. - Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit. - Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall. Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back. Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap. And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.” In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?” She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away. “Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.” - The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time. Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references. Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”) And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class. A personal record. I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person. Beautiful, simply beautiful! Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is. YESSSSSSS!  Love it!!
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Alive, Ass, and Beautiful: E a : Garrett Watts @Garrett_Watts Something sad happened today that inspired a thought that l'd love to share with anyone who cares to read this. I mean no shade to any one person with my words but I've seen remarkable, generous people be needlessly lowkey bullied for this & l'd like to shed some light on it. 7:561 < iCloud June 2, 2018 at 7:53 PM Something heartbreaking happened today that inspired a thought which inspired this post. I broke my favorite wand. No, that is not an analogy for anything. I broke my wand and it broke my heart. This may immediately seem like this is about to verge into the territory of being a comical post... which is a natural assumption when a grown man states that he had his heartbroken from "breaking his wand"... but I very much mean what I am about to say because this seemingly silly piece of wood breaking (because my slightly fat ass sat on it) made me realize something that I would like to publicly address. A behavior I have seen flaring up on social media recently, and that is, people passive aggressively judging others for the things that they purchase, cherish & own. Stick with me here cause I have a point... 7:56 1 .uil Cloud For years, I have collected wands of all different kinds, and for years I have been lightheartedly teased by friends and family for such an odd infatuation. Yes, it was my love of the Harry Potter novels that started this collection, but it's turned into something more. I have many wands from different carvers & countries and some of them are so damn beautiful that I legitimately cannot believe I get the honor of owning themm Some of them taking their makers weeks, maybe months to create. tH To me, my wands are beautiful little manifestations of the importance of keeping ones imagination alive through the years. I even keep a few close by to remind me of this. This one was in my car because l sometimes pretend to blast cars into oblivion in LA Traffic. If you ever see me doing this while blasting Missy Elliot through my speakers, I apologize in advance. If you've stuck with me this long, firstly, god bless you. Secondly, I'm about to get to where I'm going with all this 8:051 .ail iCloud Recently on social media I've seen a toxic little trend of people passive aggressively shading others based on the things they choose to purchase with their own money. Some of the wands (or other things I own) didn't come cheap to me, but we as people, buy things consciously & with pride bec they are important to us, and as long as they cause no harm to others, we reserve that right to use our resources as we see fit. ause So whether it be a wand, a pair of Gucci slides, a pair of jeans to boost confidence, a car, a vinyl record... hell, even a taxidermy collection! Whatever! Allow people these things, & furthermore, if you're at all confused or intrigued about said purchase, don't silently judge them for making it or project your own narrative onto it. In fact, try politely asking them about it! If they choose to share with you why they've invested in something in their lives, you might just learn something beautiful & cool about them and make a new friend! Love - Garrett garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter
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Candy, Clothes, and Cute: ISCHACROS mischacrossing: This is probably my most requested guide/ tutorial, and there is no one right way to explain it. Everyone’s town is different, along with everyone’s tastes and preferences. Feel free to follow this to a T, do only a few steps, or ignore it altogether. This is just what I’ve gathered from my own experiences and watching other people plan/ build their towns. I won’t mind if you add a “Read More” when you reblog it. I know it’s a ridiculously long post. :x Pre-Landscaping Prep: Dreamies: Try to get most—if not all—of your dream villagers first. Knowing where their houses are will make landscaping much smoother since you won’t be worrying about someone moving into the middle of your orchard. Using a little (or a lot of) plot resetting will help their houses get in not-so-shitty spots. Side Characters: If you’re going to have characters other than your mayor, go ahead and make their houses (or at least plan where they will be). This is for the same reason as getting your dreamies early on. Hybrid Garden: Move your flowers to your beach and set up a hybrid garden, and plant any flowers you buy there. The beach is the best spot, because villagers can’t move there, obviously. This hybrid guide will be super helpful! Stock Up: Start hoarding everything. Bells, axes, flowers, tree saplings, bush starts, furniture, etc. You can store them in your house, locker, museum, and/or beach to keep them off the town’s ground and away from dangerous house plots. Check out my Bell-Making Guide for money-making tips. Town Theme: Most people have a general idea early on, but I felt like I should touch on it. Think of what kind of theme/ feel you want your town to have—i.e. modern, regal, zen, fairy tale, forest, etc. Knowing this will help you decide on wide or skinny paths, number of trees, color of flowers, and so on. Don’t feel pressured to have a theme, though. You can make a town without thinking, “This all has to look super modern!” Just design what you like! Deforestation: Before you start laying down paths or PWP’s, you need to cut down every damn tree in your town. You can use all those axes you’ve been hoarding or a golden axe if you’ve gotten there. This will give you a blank slate to work with so seeing where paths and PWP’s can go will be 100x easier. Putting Down Paths: Wide and/or Skinny: There are two basic types of paths—wide and skinny. Wide paths take up two to three tiles, while skinny paths take up only one. Wider paths tend to give a more modern/ regal feel, and skinny paths tend to give a more natural/ forest feel to a town. Skinny paths are also useful in tight areas that you need to go through. You can use only one or a mix of both, but having an idea of which you’ll use will help with planning. Find a Path: This is obviously a huge step. I have a fairly thorough mix of paths posted to my blog, but other blogs for finding paths include bidoofcrossing, merongcrossing, and acnlpaths. This would be the time to find waterway and grass designs if you’re planning on having those. Planning: This is definitely optional, but it definitely helps. Take a screenshot of your town map and open it in Paint, or a similar program. Draw lines on your map to indicate where paths will go. You can use a red line to represent wide paths, a green line to represent skinny paths, a blue line to represent waterways, etc. Actual Pathing: Now you can actually put down a path in your town! For the first go-around, it’s simpler to use one single-tile design so you can just put it down where you think you want your path. This way, you can tweak it without having to change three other designs along with it. Having a path with no dead ends that also connects the major parts of town is best. You can use skinny paths/ stepping stones to connect the wide path to smaller areas—like villagers’ houses in tight spaces, the campsite, PWP areas, etc. After all that, you can go in and lay down the pretty path you picked out earlier! Too Many Designs: I get a lot of questions about this, so I figured I’d talk about it. You can only store 10 designs in your design slots, but some paths will take up all or more of those. If you want more than 10 designs, you’ll have to create another character to live in your town. You can have up to 4 characters, so you can have up to 40 designs—including paths, clothes, wallpapers, etc. Public Works Projects: Picking PWP’s: Obviously your thoughts on what PWP’s you want will change over time, but try to get a basic idea of the ones you like. There is a list here that tells you all the PWP’s, how much space they take up, and what villager personality will suggest them to you. Some might go along with the theme of your town more, so you can pinpoint those early on. Planning: Once you’re done picking out your favorite PWP’s, you can start figuring out where they’ll go. Walk along your path/ look at your map and find spacious areas. Especially large spaces can be filled with parks (jungle gym, tire toy, water fountain, picnic blanket), gardens (statue fountain, topiaries), zen gardens (zen garden, zen bell, zen bench, zen streetlight), campground (campsite, fire pit, camping cot, log bench), etc. Smaller areas can have single PWP’s. Most can look fine on their own, and you can fill more space with trees, flowers, bushes, etc. a little later. Use a simple design to indicate where various PWP’s will go so you don’t forget and accidentally move a villager in on top of it. Getting Suggestions: Villagers can be super annoying with not suggesting new PWP’s. To help the process along, use the diving trick. It might take a couple tries, but I promise you’ll get more suggestions this way. Do the Damn Thing: Build the PWP’s!!! Obviously you can be building some while planning for others, so don’t get so caught up in planning and the diving trick that you forget to actually build those PWP’s. Landscaping: Planning: Now that you have most of your villagers moved in and PWP’s at least planned out, you can start putting in pretty nature! You should have been hoarding trees and bushes while expanding your hybrid garden, so you should have plenty to work with. You still might need more though. In this case, use a simple design to indicate where trees or bushes will go eventually. Lining Paths: The first step to giving your town “depth” is lining your paths with something—literally anything. If your town is more natural, use more trees. If your town is more modern, use more bushes and flowers. Just mix and match different things with different areas of path. Try not to mix too many different types of bushes in one area. If you do mix them, do it in a pattern of some kind. Filling Around PWP’s: Now you can build on those areas with PWP’s. Larger spaces that you filled with a park or garden can be outlined just like you lined your paths. Inside the areas, you can fill it with flowers, a path/grass design, or just leave the natural grass! Around more secluded PWP’s, you can do the same thing on a smaller scale. For example, around a fountain put a mix of flowers on the first outline or two. Then do an outline of bushes around those flowers with a couple open spaces for entryways. You just took up so much space with just one PWP! So experiment with different areas and see what looks good. You can always rearrange everything later. Flower Combinations: There are going to be several areas you’ll want to fill with flowers, and deciding what kind can be daunting. Like a lot of other things, experimentation is going to be a large part of this. As far as mixing breeds goes, combos that look nice together are cosmos and tulips, cosmos and violets, roses and tulips, and roses and lilies. As far as mixing colors go, combos that look nice together are anything and white, pink and yellow, pink and blue, purple and blue, yellow and orange, black and orange, and red and pink. Everyone’s taste is different, but these are combos I’ve seen that many people have liked. Extra Space: You shouldn’t have much space left, but you can add some trees and flowers into weird areas right behind bigger buildings and whatnot. Putting out clothes and gifts for visitors to your dream town is really nice. Other things can fill up space are fruit baskets, tree stumps, mushrooms, songs, and candy. Finishing Touches: Houses: Houses aren’t exactly “touches,” but you’ll be working on them all throughout your town building. Basically, just get an idea of what “theme” you want your houses/ rooms to have. Cute ideas I’ve seen are bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens, spas, offices, libraries, cafes, classrooms, convenience stores, flower shops, restaurants, and hotels. Gifts: Putting out clothes and wrapped gifts for dream visitors is really nice. Good gifts include throwing beans, toy hammers, balloons, bubble wands, ice creams, and so on. Carry On: Building your town will take months, and you’ll probably change your mind 293208 times on where you want this PWP or what kind of flowers you want in that area. You’ll probably be doing a mix of a few different steps at once, which is completely fine. Just don’t lose focus on enjoying the game! Build your encyclopedia, work towards your badges, interact with villagers, visit dream towns, etc. Have fun, and good luck!!!
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Gif, Sailor Moon, and Tumblr: wilsontoyourhouse: winchester-kelly: blastortoise: Sailor moon wands!!!

wilsontoyourhouse: winchester-kelly: blastortoise: Sailor moon wands!!!

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Gif, Sailor Moon, and Target: wilsontoyourhouse: winchester-kelly: blastortoise: Sailor moon wands!!!

wilsontoyourhouse: winchester-kelly: blastortoise: Sailor moon wands!!!

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Tumblr, Blog, and Http: morggo: #inktober #inktober2017 16/31 - Ten of Wands

morggo: #inktober #inktober2017 16/31 - Ten of Wands

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