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Anaconda, College, and God: PIRITS bookhobbit why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires in college" everyone in college is eccentric. everyone you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and follow class etiquette multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail! wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm * no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle you * anorthernskyatdawn the girl in pyjamas is the vampire themauvesoul Also: If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be Jealous "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood* It would take u like 100 years to major in everything Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascoft Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature * e * iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s has qum and a stapler If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors. e * College Vampires
Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
Kardashians, Work, and Yale: Historian at Yale begins work on a list of men the Kardashians have slept with. 2018

Historian at Yale begins work on a list of men the Kardashians have slept with. 2018

Crazy, Cute, and Food: parisianqueen During the most poor and homeless period of my life, I had a lot of people get angry with me because l spent $25 on Bath and Body Works candles during a sale. They couldn't comprehend why the hell I would do that when I had been fighting for months to try and get us on our feet, afford food, and have an apartment to live in. Those candles were placed beside whereverl slept that night. In the morning, I would move them and set them wherever I'd have to hang out. At one point I carried one around in my purse one of those big honking 3-wick candles. I never lit them, but I'd open them and smell them a lot. I credit that purchase with a lot of my drive that got me to where l am today. I had been working tirelessly, 15+ hour days with barely any reward, constantly on the phone or trying to deal with organizations and associations to "get help at". It'd gone on for almost a year by the end of it, and I was so burnt out, to the point that I would shake 24/7. But I could get a bit of relief from my 3-wick "upper middle class lifestyle" candles. They represented my future goals, my home I wanted to decorate, and how I would one day not be in this mess anymore When we moved into the apartment, and our financial status improved, I burned those candles every single day. When they were empty, I cleaned them out, stuck labels on them, and they became the starting point of my really cute organization system I had ALWAYS planned to have. So whenever I hear about someone very poor getting themselves a treat maybe it's Starbucks, maybe it's a home deco item maybe it's a video game... I don't judge them. I get it. I get that you can't go without anything for that long without it making you go crazy. You need to pull some joy, inspiration, and motivation from somewhere moralistically poor people deserve things they want, too. it is unfair to expect poor people to only buy things they "need". enide-s-dear My grandfather used to tell me: if you only have 20 kr left, you buy grocery for 10 kr and flowers for the other 10 kr because you need a reasorn to live as well. shiobookmark You need hope and nourishment in equal measure im so proud of how well i cropped this

im so proud of how well i cropped this

Ass, Chelsea, and Donkey: malfunctioningtypewrite9 55:41:14.24 THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED ON THIS STREAM 1. THE FIRST $500 WAS EARNED BEFORE THE TREAM EVEN STARTED. 2. HBOMBERGUY WAS PLANNING ON MAYBE GETTING $3,000 3. CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING NOT ONLY SHOWED UP BUT JUST HUNG OUT ON THE CHAT FOR HOURS 3.5. THE FIRST THING HBOMBERGUY SAID TO CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING WAS "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET PAST BEAVER BOTHERS?" .5.5. SHE DIDN'T. HE WAS STUCK ON THAT MINIGAME FOR AN HOUR AND HAD TO CALL IN PROFESSIONAL SPEEDGAMERS TO HELP. 4. $25,000 WAS RAISED TO ERASE JK ROWLING 5. GRANT KIRKHOPE (THE PERSON BEHIND ALL THE MUSIC AND SOUND FOR DONKEY KONG 64) SHOWED UP AND SAID 'TRANS RIGHTS' IN DK'S VOICE 6. JOHN ROMERO (CREATOR OF DOOM) WED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 7. JOSH SAWYER (PERSON BEHIND FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS) SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 8. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 9. DR CHUCK TINGLE ACTUALLY, HONESTLY SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS, AND PUSHED THE DONATIONS TO $300K THE ENTIRE STREAM HAS VERY HEAVILY FEATURED TRANS CREATORS, ACTIVISTS, AND COOL ASS PEOPLE SHOWING UP AND TALKING AND SHARING AND DOING AWESOME STUFF TO SUPPORT TRANS KIDS 11. THE ENTIRE DONATION IS GOING TO MERMAIDS, A SUPPORT AND EDUCATIONAL GROUP TO HELP SUPPORT TRANS KIDS AND FAMILIES, AND THE SUPPORT HAS BEEN AMAZING AND PHENOMENAL AND I'VE CRIED AT LEAST 3 TIMES 12. TEETH GANG EDIT 13. OH RIGHT THE STREAM HAS ALSO BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER 50 HOURS, HE'S SLEPT TWICE AND LEFT THE STREAM ON AND BOTH TIMES HE GAINED LIKE $10K WHILE THE SKELETON CREW TALKED OVER A SKELETON WEARING HEADPHONES alfunctioningtypewrite9 14. WE GOT THE DONATIONS UP TO PI WHILE NB GENDER THERAPIST BEN RECITES PI AND TALKS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH FOR TRANS PEOPLE. 15. FUCK YOU GRAHAM halfunctioningtypewrite9 16, HE FUCKING DID IT. 101% ON DK64 AND $333K AND WE HAVE YET TO SEE HIM EAT A CARTON OF RAW SOY. UGLY CRY GANG YA'LL, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. chuck tingle showed up?