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        Cookies, Creepy, and God: themetaisawesome:

tsunasty:

deafonyourleft:

totallytrailbreaker:

skellydun:

rip santa.

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronicâ€Ķ like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, butâ€Ķ” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling downâ€Ķ and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”


‘‘Tis the season 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Cookies, Creepy, and God: themetaisawesome:

tsunasty:

deafonyourleft:

totallytrailbreaker:

skellydun:

rip santa.

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronicâ€Ķ like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, butâ€Ķ” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling downâ€Ķ and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”


‘‘Tis the season 

                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Apparently, Ass, and Doctor: Admit
 it. You all think robots arejust machines
 built by humansto makeftheir lives easier

 Well.aren't they?

 ive never
 ive never made anyone s lifeeasierand you know it
wilwheaton:
lizbethanne:

choppers-top-hat:

bogleech:

titleknown:

arabellesicardi:

im the robot

Again, this is even funnier if you know what a fucking production nightmare, with a possible curse attached to it no less, this robot prop was for the Doctor Who crewâ€Ķ

I want to know about the cursed robot

So the robot isn’t a guy in a suit, it’s an animatronic/puppet thing, and it wasn’t built for the show. In fact, no one knows who built it, one of the producers just FOUND IT ONE DAY in a building near the studio. It had apparently been built for another production that was cancelled and then just left to gather dust. So they thought “oh cool, let’s make this dumb robot the Doctor’s new companion, it’ll look neat and weird, everyone will have a gas with it.” NOPE.Kamelion was incredibly complicated to operate, so they assigned a guy named Mike Powers to figure out the best way to go about it. Apparently he did a great job streamlining Kamelion’s operation, and then he promptly died in a boating accident (which is where the “curse” idea comes from.) He didn’t leave any notes or instructions, and the show was already behind schedule, so they had to rush Kamelion’s scenes into production with no idea how it worked. It was a gigantic pain in the ass to use, took forever to set up, and needed constant upkeep and repairs. Everyone hated working with the prop, to the point that before Kamelion’s first episode even aired, they had already decided to kill him off later in the same season.Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor, had the most scenes with Kamelion, and absolutely hated it. When Kamelion dies, the Doctor is really sad, but Davison said later that it was one of the best acting jobs of his career, because in reality, he was absolutely giddy with joy at being rid of the thing.
tl,dr: In the 80â€ēs a Mystery robot prop built by unknown hands caused chaos on the Doctor Who set.

finding an abandoned mystery robot and bringing it home, leading to death, is the most doctor who plot ive ever heard

This was no boating accident.

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Ass, and Doctor: Admit
 it. You all think robots arejust machines
 built by humansto makeftheir lives easier

 Well.aren't they?

 ive never
 ive never made anyone s lifeeasierand you know it
wilwheaton:
lizbethanne:

choppers-top-hat:

bogleech:

titleknown:

arabellesicardi:

im the robot

Again, this is even funnier if you know what a fucking production nightmare, with a possible curse attached to it no less, this robot prop was for the Doctor Who crewâ€Ķ

I want to know about the cursed robot

So the robot isn’t a guy in a suit, it’s an animatronic/puppet thing, and it wasn’t built for the show. In fact, no one knows who built it, one of the producers just FOUND IT ONE DAY in a building near the studio. It had apparently been built for another production that was cancelled and then just left to gather dust. So they thought “oh cool, let’s make this dumb robot the Doctor’s new companion, it’ll look neat and weird, everyone will have a gas with it.” NOPE.Kamelion was incredibly complicated to operate, so they assigned a guy named Mike Powers to figure out the best way to go about it. Apparently he did a great job streamlining Kamelion’s operation, and then he promptly died in a boating accident (which is where the “curse” idea comes from.) He didn’t leave any notes or instructions, and the show was already behind schedule, so they had to rush Kamelion’s scenes into production with no idea how it worked. It was a gigantic pain in the ass to use, took forever to set up, and needed constant upkeep and repairs. Everyone hated working with the prop, to the point that before Kamelion’s first episode even aired, they had already decided to kill him off later in the same season.Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor, had the most scenes with Kamelion, and absolutely hated it. When Kamelion dies, the Doctor is really sad, but Davison said later that it was one of the best acting jobs of his career, because in reality, he was absolutely giddy with joy at being rid of the thing.
tl,dr: In the 80â€ēs a Mystery robot prop built by unknown hands caused chaos on the Doctor Who set.

finding an abandoned mystery robot and bringing it home, leading to death, is the most doctor who plot ive ever heard

This was no boating accident.

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Gif, Lol, and Love: caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol

        

            
            

                
                
                    Gif, Lol, and Love: caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Gif, Lol, and Love: thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol


@dangerously-human @jayykesley 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Gif, Lol, and Love: thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol


@dangerously-human @jayykesley 

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Disney, Honda, and Tesla: Disney, Honda  Tesla secretly collaborating on next level animatronic humanoids - their most realistic and expressive yet (2018)
        

            
            

                
                
                    Disney, Honda, and Tesla: Disney, Honda  Tesla secretly collaborating on next level animatronic humanoids - their most realistic and expressive yet (2018)
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Disney, Honda  Tesla secretly collaborating on next level animatronic humanoids - their most realistic and expressive yet (2018)

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Gif, Lol, and Love: caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol

        

            
            

                
                
                    Gif, Lol, and Love: caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Gif, Lol, and Love: caitallolovesyou:
bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol

        

            
            

                
                
                    Gif, Lol, and Love: caitallolovesyou:
bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

â€Ķ

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Selfie, Tumblr, and Blog: kokido:Which is creepier, this animatronic Elvis I ripped the face off of while disassembling it, or this selfie with me wearing it’s face?
        

            
            

                
                
                    Selfie, Tumblr, and Blog: kokido:Which is creepier, this animatronic Elvis I ripped the face off of while disassembling it, or this selfie with me wearing it’s face?
                    
                
            

            
                
                
kokido:Which is creepier, this animatronic Elvis I ripped the face off of while disassembling it, or this selfie with me wearing it’s face?

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save