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Birthday, Douchebag, and Dude: dex ORIGINAL NOV Windex the Bean 15 726. 2113 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it NOV 13 726. 2113 Paint Thinner Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They Paint It Black So We Can Windex NOV 13 debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor. An older project, but he also did this: (x) oh dude hes metal as fuck  Every addition to this post is better than the last. Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again? Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it. Me: Me: :)
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Apparently, Bitch, and Moms: ruby-white-rabbit There's a turtle in my yard laying eggs This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose I'm not ready to be a single mom I know shit about reptiles I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care I'm googling turtles right now, I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she's a box turtle? 70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH?? iplemons You a mom now Text from stepmom "watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They'll eat the eggs so chase them off ruby-white-rabbit mrswinterbarnes Name her Sharron, she sounds like she doesn't care about her kids @mrswinterbarnes you're not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye?? I don't think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA DAMN IT SHARRON First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny?? UPDATE SHES BACK NEVERMIND ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE That's two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me ladystud Call this one Susan blad-the-inhaler You're like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople
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Bad, Beautiful, and Fucking: Take the breadsticks Young Man and run Man young [door man hand hook said car gun deceit-the-snakey-snake: plaid-n-converse: cherrysconeslut: pawsofponies: garecc: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: buggykin: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: biggest-goofiest-fish: desertdaylight: kait-the-kitty: chiribomb: politicalcompassmemes: your-uncle-dave: maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit: japhers: jewishzevran: animatedamerican: pagesofkenna: mommacomms: fidefortitude: bl00dlikeice: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: plaid-n-converse: memeception WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME @caesarianconfection I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it. But this… This is something else. The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind. For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun? ….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2) “man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3) ‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4) and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5) which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6) (but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better) I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared. average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics I was getting a political compass vibe too tag urself im man door hand hook car gun This works better than I thought it would. This was in my senior project I’m not sorry. EIGHT MEME COMBO FATALITY We have officially created a new language  I just had to do it to em THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING M E M E T E N OwO? W o w You know I had to I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it THIRTEEN!? MEME COUNT:1 - YMCA (@plaid-n-converse, pointed out by @pagesofkenna)2 - breadsticks (see above)3 - man door hand hook car door (see above)4 - gun (see above)5 - meme combo (see above)6 - loss (see above)7 - 2000s comics vibes (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @japhers)8 - political compass (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit, then highlighted by @politicalcompassmemes)9 - tag yourself (user was @your-uncle-dave but now appears to be deactivated)10 - i hate this (kind of barely used by @fidefortitude so idk if it really counts)11 - nickelback/look at this photograph (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)12 - had to do it to them (see above)13 - distracted boyfriend (see above)14 - is this a pigeon (see above)15 - oh, this is beautiful (@garecc)16 - expanding brain (@cherrysconeslut)17 - cursed (can be argues as a meme due to its excessive use and popularity, as well as the sort of subtext/emotion behind it that accompanies most memes on this site) (@plaid-n-converse)18 - weve created a new language (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)19 - owo (see above)20 - most ___ addition to a post (@plaid-n-converse)21 - it could be argued that meme analysis in itself is a memeFeel free to debate any of these or add any Ive missed, but I think I got them all??
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