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Bad, Blunts, and Dad: 50% COOL WAYS TO SAY ND TO WEED 1. Are you kidding me? Grow up 26.1 was raised right, I won't light. 2. Ganja is for goons, no thanks. 27. I'd like to keep my job, thanks. 3. Get a job you hippie wastoid. 28. You wish, pot junker! Back off 4. No thanks, I'm a good person. 29. I'm calling the Coast Guard 5.You need to go to jail, hempo. 30. No tokes for me. l'm cool 6. My dad told me better, no way. 31. Leave me be, you blunt blazer! 7. Grass is crass, also gross! Nol 32. No, I'm as clean as a whistle. 8. Uhhh.. no thanks loser! 9. Get away from me, THC addict. 34. I'll pass on your pot offer. 10. Yeah right, I'm way too smart. 35. Cannabis is crap, you cretin! 11. Let me think... No way, never. 36. Pish posh, pot is for the birds! 12. No. You are trash if you toke. 37. Nope. THC is not for me. 13. Back off, bucko. You're bad. 38. Step out of my zone, now. 14. I would rather not, okay? 39. Get off my case, weed stoner 15. Injecting weed is for dummies. 40. Nuh uh, I respect the police. 16. I will never do one toke. 17. Absolutely not, I love myself. 42. NOI Blunts are for bad men. 18. Get a grip you sativa snorter 43. I'd rather not die. Tokes kill. 19. Bugger off, you bong addict 44. No, weeds are for whacking. 20. I will use my taser on yu. 45. Marijuana is for morons, ok? 21. What do I look like? A failure 46. Are you serious? Get a life. 22. Nah, bongs are wrong 23. No way Hemp is horible 48. Stoners are loners. I'm good 24. I'd rather not be a canniba. 49. Nope! Spliffs are for wimps 25.I don't think so, l'm 33. That's a death "roach." No. 41. Lay off,I isten to the law. ay o 47. You're domb if you do "dank." m nice. 50. No, man. I follow MMYV www.facebook.com/MMYVofficial 13/10 choose 20 and 29!

13/10 choose 20 and 29!

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Apple, Beard, and Beautiful: 62,681 do all Americans have pet eagles? Yes I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasnt a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don't know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade... obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He's too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunatey but we've got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment's balcony Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom's-apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-plerced document hanging on my wall. what is this Get out Canada I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters' eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won't allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we're bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn't handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid's eagle you had to just man up and learn your lesson! Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I couldn't use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren't the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn't show up at all. I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late. And we've been together ever since. Some people think it's excessive to have two eagles. But what can I say, I'm a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, "You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses," but I digress. We don't have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWll aircraft carrier. I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here. It's hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light. Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so l was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn't just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here- it's not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays- was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn't just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America's natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother's eagle ceremony, which I wil always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart. you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny: Do All Americans Really Have Pet Eagles?
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Bad, Blunts, and Dad: WAYS TO SAY NG TO WEED i. Are you kidding me? Grow up 26. was raised right, l won't light 2. anja is for goons, no thanks 27. l'd like to keep my job, thanks 3. Get a job you hippie wastoid. 28. You wish, pot junker! Back offl 4 o thanks, I'm a good person. 29. I'm calling the Coast Guard 5 You need to go to jail, hempo. 30. No tokes for me. I'm cool. 6 My dad told me better, no way. 31. Leave me be, you blunt blazerl 7 Grass is crass, also gross! No! 32. No, l'm as clean as a whistle Uhhh no thanks loser 33. That's a death "roach." No g Get away from me, THC addict. 34. I'll pass on your pot offer 1 Yeah right, I'm way too smart. 35. Cannabis is crap, you cretinl i Let me think... No way, never. 36. Pish posh, pot is for the birds! 1 No. You are trash if you toke. 37. Nope. THC is not for me i Back off, bucko. You're bad. 38. Step out of my zone, now would rather not, okay? 39. Get off my case, weed stoner 15. injecting weed is for dummies 40. Nuh uh, respect the police. 41. Lay off, I listen to the law 1 will never do one toke. 17. Absolutely not, I love myself. 42. NOI Blunts are for bad men 18. Get a grip you sativa snorterl 43. l'd rather not die. Tokes kill 19. Bugger off, you bong addict! 44. No, weeds are for whacking 20. I will use my taser on you. 45. Marijuana is for morons, ok? 21.What do l look like? A failure? 46. Are you serious? Get a life 47. You're dumb if you do "dank 22. Nah, bongs are wrong. 23. No wayl Hemp is horrible! 48. toners are loners. I'm good 24. I'd rather not be a cannibal. 49. Nope Spliffs are for wimps! Don't give in to peer pressure. (@drgrayfang) (This is Sarcasm for those of you who don't understand sarcasm)

Don't give in to peer pressure. (@drgrayfang) (This is Sarcasm for those of you who don't understand sarcasm)

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Anaconda, Beautiful, and Candy: gofundmeo 58 HELP SAVE THE HUMMINGBIRDS $2,069 of $5,000 goal Raised by 58 people in 1 month <p><a href="https://puethar-petblr.tumblr.com/post/157636449498/help-save-the-hummingbirds-many-people-are" class="tumblr_blog">puethar-petblr</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://puethar-petblr.tumblr.com/post/157634148808/help-save-the-hummingbirds-many-people-are" class="tumblr_blog">puethar-petblr</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>-HELP SAVE THE HUMMINGBIRDS-</p> <p>“Many people are unaware of the harmful effects that the red dye in the store bought nectar has on these tiny birds. It leads to kidney failure and eventual death. We are taking donations to continually help in educating people all over the world to stop using the premade nectars and to simply make your own by using 1 cup of granulated sugar in 4 cups of water that has been boiled. Please help fund this important campaign. Every amount will help in a huge way. </p> <p>I have created a GoFundMe page for donations to help our bird rehabber who works 24-7, 365 days a year using their own money to help save these lives. This money will be sent to her to use to continue to provide resources for the birds. Rehabbers who also help others in other countries such as Mexico who have limited resources to save these lives. We can all help. If we reach our goal and go past that goal, there is a chance we could have an autopsy done on one of the hummingbirds to prove the deadly effects of the red dye on them. 100% of the funds donated will go towards helping the hummingbirds. We are their voice! Thank you everyone! PLEASE SHARE!<br/></p> <p>Lisa Meyers Swanson”</p> <p><a href="https://www.gofundme.com/savehummingbirds">https://www.gofundme.com/savehummingbirds</a></p> <p>_________________</p> <p>Please reblog, share on Facebook, on twitter, share anywhere you can.</p> <p>If you can’t donate it’s ok, just spread the world so more people know about it.</p> <p>People, please do not use red dye néctar on hummingbird feeders.</p> </blockquote> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mf7SCBKjaWyzgwxjx1c0o7w">@skylie-clearwater</a> The damage might not be notorious to you as someone who only admires them. But it is highly evident to hummingbird rehabbers from wildlife centers. If you like hummingbirds you might like to join “The Hummingbird Whisperer” full of beautiful photos and useful information. Now, I will quote something from wildlife rehabber Susie Niwa, perhaps this will make more sense on why it’s important to research red dye effects on hummingbirds. “For those around In 1976, you remember Mars, the candy company which makes M&amp;M’s, eliminated the red version of the M&amp;M. This decision came as a result of public controversy surrounding a synthetic dye called FD&amp;C Red Dye No. 2, also known as amaranth. The dye was used in red food coloring and was linked to CANCER in a 1971 Russian study. The Food and Drug Administration’s subsequent tests produced inconclusive results in humans, but found that it caused MALIGNANT TUMORS in female rats . The FDA concluded that the food colorant could not be presumed to be safe for human consumption and banned it in 1976. Today the three most widely used culprits, Yellow 5, Yellow 6 and Red 40 contain compounds, including benzidine and 4 aminobiphenyl, which research HAS linked to CANCER. Now, if these dyes can do this to a rat which weighs between 350 to 450 grams, what makes you think it can’t do this to a hummingbird which weighs between 2.4 to 3.6 grams. Hard truth for those who want to feed Hummingbirds and are unwilling to make their own pure cane sugar water nectar (1 part sugar to 4 parts water) because they think the Red Dye Nectar # 40 they sell in the store is safe. Well, here you go. Another little hummingbird which DIED in Linda Lindsay’s care because YOU all thought you knew what was best. Bottom line, if we STOP buying the Red Dye Nectar, the manufactures CAN NOT afford to make it, so please SHARE to help educate others and help save a life. Thank you!” The hummingbird she is talking about it’s the same portrayed on this post and the gofundme page, it is not a google picture, it’s a hummingbird that died in hands of professionals because people keep insisting on red dye néctar.</blockquote>

puethar-petblr: puethar-petblr: -HELP SAVE THE HUMMINGBIRDS- “Many people are unaware of the harmful effects that the red dye in the stor...

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Blunts, Dumb, and Growing Up: WAY STO SAY NO TO WEED i. Are you kidding me? Grow up! 26. I was raised right, l won't light 2. Ganja is for goons, no thanks 27. l'd like to keep my job, thanks 3. Get a job you hippie wastoid. 28. You wish, pot junker Back off! 4. No thanks, I'm a good person 29. I'm calling the Coast Guard 5 You need to go to jail, hempo. 30. No tokes for me. I'm cool 6 My dad told me better, no way 31. Leave me be, you blunt blazer 7 Grass is crass, also gross! No! 32. No, m as clean as a whistle 8 Uhhh... no thanks loserl 33. That's a death "roach." No g Get away from me, THC addict. 34. I'll pass on your pot offer 1 Yeah right, I'm way too smart. 35. Cannabis is crap, you cretin! t me think... No way, never. 36. Pish posh, pot is for the birds! 1 No. You are trash if you toke. 37. Nope. THC is not for me 1 Back off, bucko. You're bad. 38. Step out of my zone, now 14.I would rather not, okay? 39. Get off my case, weed stoner 15. njecting weed is for dummies. 40. Nuh uh, lrespect the police 16. I will never do one toke. 41. Lay off, I listen to the law 17. Absolutely not, Ilove myself, 42. NO Blunts are for bad men 18. Get a grip you sativa snorter 3. I'd rather not die. Tokes kill 19. Bugger off, you bong addict! 44. No, weeds are for whacking 20. l will use my taser on you 45. Marijuana is for morons, ok? 21. What do l look like? A failure? 46. Are you serious? Get a life 22. Nah, bongs are wrong 47. You're dumb if you do "dank 23. No way! Hemp is horrible! 48. Stoners are loners. I'm good 24. I'd rather not be a cannibal. 49. Nopel Spliffs are for wimps! injecting weed is for dummies

injecting weed is for dummies

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Apparently, Beef, and Candy: envwadams today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said thanks" and half of me tried to say you're welcome and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying your problem this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so I'll add my story for anyone else ooking for more laughs I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine and "I have to pay a fee and I walked in and firmily stated "I have to pee and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven't been back My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say quick" and tast at the same time and l ended up screaming QUACK which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn Recently someone in class asked me how was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I'm okay in the middle and ended up saying I'm gay Which, whille kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said trick or treat and I smilled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said "Merry Christmas" and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me D) I was swtching between "Bye Deanna" and "Goodbye and I ended up saying "Go Die Sometimes I try to say "I fucking love you but t comes out in the wrong order and then everyone's When I first started my coffee shop job, I was st getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, "How are you doing? and "What's up?" i ended up demanding "what are you doing here?r something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say "im so amazed but halfway through my mind changed to "that's really amazing and i just ended up saying Tm really so amazing one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say "im so pumped for the birds and iIm so hyped for the birds" and instead i said "I'm so humped for birds Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniting me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like "hello" or good morning" or cute dog" or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying thank you' I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between "my drinkr and "my keys" and ended up screaming MY KINK I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she sald have a good day, and i wanted to say "You have a good day" and "You too so it came out "You have a good do do I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ONA CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POST This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said Have a nude gay. Still haven't recovered. OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i'm often jumbled between "have a nice night and have a good day" so often it comes out as have a nice neigh or have a good date or occasionally even have a night die When I interviewed for my lab position I tried to ask how much I would have to handle the mice and rats but I was nervous so l actually said rice and mats" instead At DnD my friends and I were eating snacks, like you do. We had some chips and some beef jerky and some other stu Now one of my friends is a vegetarian, and he was steering clear of most of the meat products. Out of the corner of my eye I see my other pal offer him a bag of what I ASSUMED was jerky since that's what they were eating before- As I turned to stop him from eating "meat-what I started to say was "oh no but finished with "no dont INSTEADi wound up screaming "ODIN and crushing the harmless chip in my friends hand A friend who worked in retail once told me that their manager wanted them to respond to a thank you with "it's my pleasure instead of You're welcome and my friend messed it up and said You're my pleasure When I was sixteen, I was a lifeguard at the YMCA and you could shortcut through the pool to get to the basketbal court. A lot of hyped up kids would pass through and run on the slippery tile, so l'd have to tell them to stop. Once, I was about to yell, "DONT RUN," and tried to change it to "WALK at the last second but I ended up just bellowing "RUNI at a couple of preteens who did in fact, make for the door like they were in a horror movie Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.
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