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Life, The Gift, and Old: Life Gave Me The Gift Of You - Marines 4 Year Old Son Cries Tears Of Joy After Hearing New Step-Moms Vows For Him

Life Gave Me The Gift Of You - Marines 4 Year Old Son Cries Tears Of Joy After Hearing New Step-Moms Vows For Him

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Life, The Gift, and Old: Life Gave Me The Gift Of You - Marines 4 Year Old Son Cries Tears Of Joy After Hearing New Step-Moms Vows For Him

Life Gave Me The Gift Of You - Marines 4 Year Old Son Cries Tears Of Joy After Hearing New Step-Moms Vows For Him

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Time, Joy, and Potatoes: Irishman cries tears of joy when seeing potatoes for the first time since before the Great Famine (1852 colorized)

Irishman cries tears of joy when seeing potatoes for the first time since before the Great Famine (1852 colorized)

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Best Friend, Chicago, and God: justlookatthosesausages: invisiblespork: ohhowlucky: danteogodofsoup: killbenedictcumberbatch: standupcomedyblog: John Mulaney | The Salt Pepper Diner THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile. [Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.  Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?  Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly… BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’ Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest. And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’  They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.] reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
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7/11, 9/11, and Beautiful: HEARTWARMING LIFE STORIES Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face. ay, someone else's tragedy provided the miracle my family had prayed for. Thanks to this stranger, my dad will have a heart. It's so odd to think that an accidental death just saved his life. Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn't recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, "On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center." Today in downtown San Diego, I watched a blue collar Mexican man get harassed for being Mexican. It was a blatant act of discrimination. And the man actually began crying. As he left the office building, he took off s jacket. His t-shirt underneath read, "I love the USA!" Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn't eaten anything in over 3 ys and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, "We can share it. Today, after telling my grandmother that I didn't want to risk making such a huge mistake, she looked at nd said, "Looking back on it all, there are so many stakes I wish I had had the courage to make when I was your age." Today, a 12 year old boy died in a house fire near my neighborhood. After he pulled his mom to safety, he ran back into the burning house for his 5-month-old baby sister Today, my blind friend explained to me in vivid detail how beautiful his new girlfriend is Today, I was stopped at a traffic light when a mid aged homeless woman asked me for change. I usually I don't give out dollars to the homeless because I assume they are going to buy booze. But I saw her 45 minutes later at 7/11 buying bread and peanut butter. She was so happy to see me Today at the Atlanta airport, as I walked off a plane dressed in my Army uniform, a little girl grabbed my hand and asked me if I would be going back overseas soon. I told her I would be in 6 weeks. he smiled and said, "Can you please tell my daddy that I love him. My mommy told me he's never coming home from over there Today, as soon as my 5-year-old baby brother came into my room, I yelled at him to get out without even looking up at him. When he didn't listen and I turned around to yell again, I noticed he had a bowl of cherries (my favorite) in his hands. He said, " ." Sorry, I just wanted to share these with you Today, I stopped to chat with the office janitor like I do every Monday morning on my way into work. And at the end of our conversation he grinned and said, "You know, you're the only one who ever stops to talk to me around here, and you're the President and CEO. you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: Heartwarming Stories

epicjohndoe: Heartwarming Stories

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Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and ltaly are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy t a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it France gets thrown through a plate alass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends <p><a href="http://areyounxsty.tumblr.com/post/159373352874/ceallaig1-etienne-bessette-musicalhell" class="tumblr_blog">areyounxsty</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://ceallaig1.tumblr.com/post/139808707374/etienne-bessette-musicalhell-theoryofmerp" class="tumblr_blog">ceallaig1</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://etienne-bessette.tumblr.com/post/130890595644">etienne-bessette</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://musicalhell.tumblr.com/post/130779109923">musicalhell</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theoryofmerp.tumblr.com/post/130576505588">theoryofmerp</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://joyseeker56.tumblr.com/post/130323377928">joyseeker56</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://she-s-a-shy-one.tumblr.com/post/81683849599">she-s-a-shy-one</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ficklefandoms.tumblr.com/post/79170655102">ficklefandoms</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>This does a good job at showing how ridiculously free-for-all and confusing WWI was.</p> </blockquote> <p>The historical accuracy here, as a History major, makes me weep tears of joy.</p> </blockquote> <p>*Cries of laughter*<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>A history major this made me extremely amused. This is beautifully accurate. </p> </blockquote> <p>IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW</p> </blockquote> <p><b><i>Russia gets thrown through a plate glass window, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change</i></b></p> <p><sup>I’m dying.</sup></p> </blockquote> <p>I’ve reblogged this numerous times, I will continue to reblog it each time it crosses my dash…<br/></p> </blockquote> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/m42GgMOQ-BThJEcz4ZFFfLw">@tlmetravel</a> </blockquote>
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