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I’ll beat the dog shit out of a nigga like my name was stewie. Any dude that turn into Kevin Hart around your girl gotta get hit with that choppa. i remember I was going to football tryouts with my bros in high school. Them niqqas was encouraging me to go but I didn’t want to. They put me on to how the girls who wanted to be cheer leaders be pulling up and watching. I use to be fat. A cheese burger away from being Obeast. During practice coach had the nerve to put me on the skin team for skin vs shirts. Man my titties were wet like submarine missles. I missed every catch bro. I look like the clam when Patrick tossed that peanut at the museum. I felt embarrassed as fucked getting my ankles swirled by my bro Demarcus. Why he had to juke my ass out my church shoes tho. All the hoes was laughing bro. I caused a 3 magnitude earth quake. My crush who I invited was still faithfully sitting there in the stands. I managed to get one touchdown off a safety. I saw her looking at me and I knew she saw me flex on em. Practice was over and I tried to approach my crush for her number. I seen my bro Demarcus pull up. King cock block you don’t say? Nigga was asking about tomorrow hw like he gonna do it. Shorty was hype to see him. Boy went up and gave her one of them rocking chair hugs. When ya meat pressed up against her stomach. Nigga was looking over her shoulders with that Vegeta smirk like” yea ima fuck yo bitch”. I held back tears like the G I was pose to be. I met that Biggs Demarcus in the locker room after to toss hands. That boy punted my ass across the locker room. I ain’t never get a tackled so hard. I felt like a crushed bag of chips. I laid there with no hoes and in need of a ice pack. I learned every homie ain’t ya homie when it comes to pussy 😔. I’m still a where my hug ass niqqa.: I dont mind a nigga hugging my girl but it you pick her up and do that cute twirl, imma break your jaw 10/30/18, 10:36 AM 80 Retweets 244 Likes Papa John, @johnda... 10/30/18 Or one of them rocking side to side hugs 2 you will receive arn uppercut at mach speed I’ll beat the dog shit out of a nigga like my name was stewie. Any dude that turn into Kevin Hart around your girl gotta get hit with that choppa. i remember I was going to football tryouts with my bros in high school. Them niqqas was encouraging me to go but I didn’t want to. They put me on to how the girls who wanted to be cheer leaders be pulling up and watching. I use to be fat. A cheese burger away from being Obeast. During practice coach had the nerve to put me on the skin team for skin vs shirts. Man my titties were wet like submarine missles. I missed every catch bro. I look like the clam when Patrick tossed that peanut at the museum. I felt embarrassed as fucked getting my ankles swirled by my bro Demarcus. Why he had to juke my ass out my church shoes tho. All the hoes was laughing bro. I caused a 3 magnitude earth quake. My crush who I invited was still faithfully sitting there in the stands. I managed to get one touchdown off a safety. I saw her looking at me and I knew she saw me flex on em. Practice was over and I tried to approach my crush for her number. I seen my bro Demarcus pull up. King cock block you don’t say? Nigga was asking about tomorrow hw like he gonna do it. Shorty was hype to see him. Boy went up and gave her one of them rocking chair hugs. When ya meat pressed up against her stomach. Nigga was looking over her shoulders with that Vegeta smirk like” yea ima fuck yo bitch”. I held back tears like the G I was pose to be. I met that Biggs Demarcus in the locker room after to toss hands. That boy punted my ass across the locker room. I ain’t never get a tackled so hard. I felt like a crushed bag of chips. I laid there with no hoes and in need of a ice pack. I learned every homie ain’t ya homie when it comes to pussy 😔. I’m still a where my hug ass niqqa.
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So I’m texting with my lil homegirl in Toronto and I’m like “aye y’all got Chil Fil A in Toronto 🤔” and she like “nah” and I’m like “aight when u slide thru Chicago it’s on” and she like “smash! We don’t fvck with Chik Fil A! 😤” And that’s when I had to stop her right there, bruv. See I don’t blame u Canadians because y’all really woke the long way but I gotta splain sum real quick. We all out here tryina make things right. U feel me? We all taking a stand. Against inequality. Against intolerance. I feel that. My fist in the air too, sis. BUT REVOLT HAS A LINE THAT CANNOT BE CROSSED AND THAT LINE IS CHIK FIL A 😐😂. Do I like they stance on same sex marriage? No. Do I like they tenders? Also no. I LOVE THEY TENDERS, BRUV. I PEEL OPEN THAT SRIRACHA SAUCE AND I PEEL OPEN THAT POLYNESIAN SAUCE AND I DUNK + TWIRL MY MEAT IN BOTH SAUCES - IN ALTERNATING FASHION - AS MY HEART (and belly, and eye) SHED A SINGLE TEAR OF HAPPINESS. But Smash, what if tomorrow they tweeted ‘Chik Fil A supports the Trump Travel Ban, go back to your country 😤.’ Well see now sis, extraordinary measures require extraordinary responses. I would go directly to my jeweler Tony on Wabash. I would say “Tony my dude imma need a cross.” Tony: “smash...you don’t wear crosses(?)” Me: “TONY GIMME THE CROSS AND STOP AXING QUESTIONS. MAKE SURE IT GOT JESUS ON IT. Put diamonds in the thorns too 🙂.” And I would stroll to Chik Fil A on State Street. And put that cross on, go in and say “two orders of tenders and a peach milkshake please.” The black cashier would eye me. I would eye her back. I would look down. I would look back up and see her shaking her head: “smash...I served u daily during Ramadan. DAILY. In here like a crack addict at sundown in your suit - 8:32 pm on the dot I’m handing you tenders. And you’re back? After what they said about the trump ban? Wearing a CROSS(?)” And I would, with a solemn stare, mouth the following words “sis...issa time to fight and it’s a time to eat. The only thing standing between me and the dinner God hath planned for me is you. YOU COULD CATCHETH THESE HANDS. Glory be to Jesus.” BLESS UP 😩😍😂😂😂: l just rescued this beautiful girl, and she is sleeping inside for the first time in her life Reddit u/CollectiveOfCells @DrSmashlove So I’m texting with my lil homegirl in Toronto and I’m like “aye y’all got Chil Fil A in Toronto 🤔” and she like “nah” and I’m like “aight when u slide thru Chicago it’s on” and she like “smash! We don’t fvck with Chik Fil A! 😤” And that’s when I had to stop her right there, bruv. See I don’t blame u Canadians because y’all really woke the long way but I gotta splain sum real quick. We all out here tryina make things right. U feel me? We all taking a stand. Against inequality. Against intolerance. I feel that. My fist in the air too, sis. BUT REVOLT HAS A LINE THAT CANNOT BE CROSSED AND THAT LINE IS CHIK FIL A 😐😂. Do I like they stance on same sex marriage? No. Do I like they tenders? Also no. I LOVE THEY TENDERS, BRUV. I PEEL OPEN THAT SRIRACHA SAUCE AND I PEEL OPEN THAT POLYNESIAN SAUCE AND I DUNK + TWIRL MY MEAT IN BOTH SAUCES - IN ALTERNATING FASHION - AS MY HEART (and belly, and eye) SHED A SINGLE TEAR OF HAPPINESS. But Smash, what if tomorrow they tweeted ‘Chik Fil A supports the Trump Travel Ban, go back to your country 😤.’ Well see now sis, extraordinary measures require extraordinary responses. I would go directly to my jeweler Tony on Wabash. I would say “Tony my dude imma need a cross.” Tony: “smash...you don’t wear crosses(?)” Me: “TONY GIMME THE CROSS AND STOP AXING QUESTIONS. MAKE SURE IT GOT JESUS ON IT. Put diamonds in the thorns too 🙂.” And I would stroll to Chik Fil A on State Street. And put that cross on, go in and say “two orders of tenders and a peach milkshake please.” The black cashier would eye me. I would eye her back. I would look down. I would look back up and see her shaking her head: “smash...I served u daily during Ramadan. DAILY. In here like a crack addict at sundown in your suit - 8:32 pm on the dot I’m handing you tenders. And you’re back? After what they said about the trump ban? Wearing a CROSS(?)” And I would, with a solemn stare, mouth the following words “sis...issa time to fight and it’s a time to eat. The only thing standing between me and the dinner God hath planned for me is you. YOU COULD CATCHETH THESE HANDS. Glory be to Jesus.” BLESS UP 😩😍😂😂😂
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You guys gotta excuse me for being so slow on posting but it's all for a good cause and I'm coming back in FULL EFFECT ASAP. So since I've been slacking here's a real life story at my first ever strip club. Oh and SWIPE LEFT 👈 for more gems and please follow my other page (@thebestnochillzone) if you haven't yet, love you guys. - The second time I went to a strip club I never had experienced a lap dance so my homie waited till the most finest piece of ass came around and he quickly whistled at her and she came walking over with that shbooty just bouncing from side to side like one of those bobble head toys. He then said "take my homie and give him a good dance" as she reached for my hand my balls began to tingle and sweat started drippin from my gooch, I could smell the previous guy she had her coochie all over, the smell of vagina began to be more prominent as we stepped into her corridors. She then had me sit down and she started working her magic. I felt as one with her, almost as if my penis was made specifically for her anatomy, as she danced I then whispered into her ear "LET ME FUCK" she said "no no no señor" I then reached around and whispered again "BITCH LET ME FUCK" she responded in such a exotic way explaining she was working and couldn't allow us to engage in sexual activitys. She then did a crazy little twirl as the third song played and her vagina thrusted against my mouth and I immediately began to smell the aroma of cheap burgers and 3 week of chicken chow mein. She noticed my actions and realized I became disgusted and voiced that it's been 3 songs, me again being an idiot I thought a dance was just $20 flat I had no idea it was $20 a song and I was on my last $20. That was again the most awkward thing I've ever dealt with so I told her to hang on to my wallet while I go to the ATM. I retrieved my wallet and paid the Spanish girl who rocked my world! THE END. 👉👌 -: When you call her a bitch vs when the DJ says "all bad bitches to the dance floor You guys gotta excuse me for being so slow on posting but it's all for a good cause and I'm coming back in FULL EFFECT ASAP. So since I've been slacking here's a real life story at my first ever strip club. Oh and SWIPE LEFT 👈 for more gems and please follow my other page (@thebestnochillzone) if you haven't yet, love you guys. - The second time I went to a strip club I never had experienced a lap dance so my homie waited till the most finest piece of ass came around and he quickly whistled at her and she came walking over with that shbooty just bouncing from side to side like one of those bobble head toys. He then said "take my homie and give him a good dance" as she reached for my hand my balls began to tingle and sweat started drippin from my gooch, I could smell the previous guy she had her coochie all over, the smell of vagina began to be more prominent as we stepped into her corridors. She then had me sit down and she started working her magic. I felt as one with her, almost as if my penis was made specifically for her anatomy, as she danced I then whispered into her ear "LET ME FUCK" she said "no no no señor" I then reached around and whispered again "BITCH LET ME FUCK" she responded in such a exotic way explaining she was working and couldn't allow us to engage in sexual activitys. She then did a crazy little twirl as the third song played and her vagina thrusted against my mouth and I immediately began to smell the aroma of cheap burgers and 3 week of chicken chow mein. She noticed my actions and realized I became disgusted and voiced that it's been 3 songs, me again being an idiot I thought a dance was just $20 flat I had no idea it was $20 a song and I was on my last $20. That was again the most awkward thing I've ever dealt with so I told her to hang on to my wallet while I go to the ATM. I retrieved my wallet and paid the Spanish girl who rocked my world! THE END. 👉👌 -
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How is this not in the Hall of Fame already?: 750x1350. SWEETTERRIFYING CHRIST Jpg 12 53 No 6088875 s of Monke if this isn't really up to produce putting this hours ago, I was interrupted by a few episodes of Monk. u DM s an artsy type, but not in an interesting way He es er de m re than useful info ma n He s like the Talkienof s w eve of ba ered him about his st run in things Heli es makin Worl an en we start ou t in this shitty little town in his worlds analogue to dark age Germany s ray vet theres a lot of mu everyone is d poor all the peasants are insula around foreigner begin But learn that were actual on our way throu n our way to er a Rome o somethin on a m ssion to reco e some rtof artifact he sen us s us rations su es and hat he ca artha na hin 10/01/09(Thu)12 56 seriously maetimes bordering rowwhatitwas but chasing pass through some were supposed to be learning about, only that there was something Someth Pursuing Not us, but chasing something were supposed to be dragging moisture from the air back into the swamp as they emerged, dragging gone from the ground o their bodies Into closing wounds as they did. losing pallor and gla ed expression to take on the green vibrance of psychically drawing weapons to the ground and brackish throwing them directly from whence they came, and re-opened then wounds for them Anonymous 10/01/09(Thu)1257 No 6088908 Paradox Euny sure that werdtoandbroke refused towan back. If he mook Just sat down and started went, and talking road through the s there내이 Ke pretty Sounds like pretty standard fare, doesnt it? Oh we thought so too really gotten us creepy Heheheheh at describing shit? thing I'd ever heard put into Words before. He described the most idyllic and wonderful place imaginable and surrounded by flowing wheat The people were long-braided and beautiful, with ample 109(Thu)12:58 were always er corner had women twirling slowlyon spot, dancing in the jo taking long steps we figured we'd stay around for a while, to check event the townsfolk, and we learn that the town is called KarTordek. I think this is a laugh of course, a promiscuous people whose religion revolves around how awesome strangers are one thing.the ofHis gloriousday heartbeat e start freakinrealize that the Day greets us this fucking place, somewhere in the Anonymous 10/01/09(Thu)12 59 the damn rdsing placesthatnwithhumanbl il The people through. The primary crop Is grave heat hich only grows on ground watered with human blood Sounds ike a d crop to bep OH WAT YEAH. EVERYT s been doing for a while now, though we hadn't really given it much thought after the first 10/01/09(Thu)13 01 No have Thelistmastoduring There is a full ten seconds of silence. before he adds, they never did. He then begins to elaborate upon what else The end result, boneless, toothless. eyeless, with long rubbery limbs women had been long blackened tongues. Tongues. he said that we had grown rather accustomed to dum the nght and talking backwards Insteadofaererturnsaround ub up against and slivering and and taking our blows that grabbed0ucking killed the village out one goddamn ndominbuilding at a time, k king killed them all king killed them all. Every single one of them. We ling their lipless horrors and the ones that gnawed at our ankles and Jumped would throw themselves at ended the threat Anonymous 10/01/09(Thu)13 The gravewheat. It mustveDr third session there It mustve been corrupting the people congratulated us on ed warningson sion,though,Tao much On the b one thing, but that stuff was ession, though, he 10/01/09(Thu)13 07 No 6089029 Then we came back. Not to the same campaign, nobody mentioned it again. The DM aracters and had us start out in the same little town we began in before informing us that it is fall lt broken legs. The emaciated, starved corpse of an elf with broken legs Clearly orc work. We proceed and get what to the single darkest moment in the entire history of my gaming 10/01/09(Thu)13 08 No 6089044 pentameter, gibbergsandtheassailantsybeaten defendth luny. The s torches nts, trapped in k, but we proceed th of pacifists, who hadclear animals weaponless and run through, monks rhyming rhythmic mated unnecessary, horrible nnecessneanderings to grapple the buildings The and the frothing babble of Like one long, grand verse, they were in iambic pentamer Anonymous 10/01/09(Thu)13 38 No 6089317 outapieceaspaincredibly l players,Wain flame that he was saying. So when he at were lowering themselve thing imaginable He already destroyed us wit How is this not in the Hall of Fame already?
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ishkaqwiaidurugnul.tumblr.com/post/105026608914">ishkaqwiaidurugnul</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://vonmunsterr.tumblr.com/post/85388049237">vonmunsterr</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ghostsneverleave.tumblr.com/post/85243110194">ghostsneverleave</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://insanihty.tumblr.com/post/85144886702">insanihty</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://xxarcane.tumblr.com/post/84873852950">xxarcane</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://youremybrandnewday.tumblr.com/post/84793166680">youremybrandnewday</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sp0tlessmiind.tumblr.com/post/80710248945">sp0tlessmiind</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://tiptreecrossing.tumblr.com/post/68707337582">tiptreecrossing</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://livingmywayeveryday.tumblr.com/post/39004186570">livingmywayeveryday</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://vickified.tumblr.com/post/32749023299">vickified</a>:</p> <blockquote> <blockquote> <p><em>“<span>If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?</span>”</em></p> </blockquote> <p>lol yes, so then i can shave.</p> </blockquote> <p>     One minute, 37 seconds.<br/>     My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.<br/>     One minute, 29 secods.<br/>     I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.<br/>     One minute, six seconds.<br/>     Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.<br/>      54 seconds.<br/>     Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t  my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?<br/>     30 seconds.<br/>     Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.<br/>     25 seconds.<br/>     That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.<br/>     20 seconds.<br/>     I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.<br/>     19. Faster.<br/>     18. Quicker.<br/>     17. More rapid.<br/>     16.  It’s racing.<br/>     Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.<br/>     My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.<br/>     10 seconds.<br/>     The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.<br/>     5. My heart has given up entirely.<br/>     4. I stop walking.<br/>     3. Just waiting left.<br/>     2. Everything is about to change.<br/>     1. Deep breath.</p> <p>     0000 d 00 h  00 m  00 s</p> <p>     Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.<br/>     “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”<br/>     As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.”</p> </blockquote> <blockquote> <p>“Thats weird…” I checked my wrist, the clock had just hit the 30 second mark but I looked around and there was no one there. I was a worrisome guy overall but I felt justified, I mean today was the day I was meeting my soul mate. Not that I expected my dream girl to be in the storage closet at work but still I was nervous. </p> <p>Walking out with a box the boss had requested I walked back to my cash register setting it on the shelf. My wrist hit the 20 second mark</p> <p>19 seconds</p> <p>18 seconds</p> <p>Where was she? I could not help but get worried that an error would pop up or that she was gone and my timer would run out with no response. I panicked, I’d change my own fate if I had to. Running out of time I hurried through the back door. There was a park outside and maybe I was supposed to be there to find my soul mate. </p> <p>10 seconds</p> <p>9 seconds</p> <p>A faint ding of the doorbell hit my ear. Wait was that it?? She was here! I turned around running back to the counter. “Don’t worry I’m just in the back!”</p> <p>I ran out looking at my wrist as it hit zero. Out of breath “Hi I’m Matt!” Sticking out my hand for a handshake it was met by a firm hand. Meeting my soulmate’s eyes for the first time they spoke. </p> <p>“I’m Steven.” The man gave a smile “It’s nice to meet you.” </p> </blockquote> <p> I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something.<br/> ”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her.<br/> ”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds.<br/> She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds.<br/> ”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere.<br/><br/> The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old. <br/> I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace.<br/><br/> I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.</p> <p> Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief.<br/> ”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art.<br/> 4 seconds<br/> He spots her.<br/> 3 seconds<br/> His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope.<br/> 2 seconds<br/> My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him.<br/> 1 second -<br/> ”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.</p> <p> I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.</p> <p> I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it. </p> <p> The numbers have never changed.</p> <p> They’ve always been at 0.</p> </blockquote> <div>Oh my god that last one…. My heart… The feels….</div> </blockquote> <p>AGH ALL OF YOU WRITE A BOOK THIS VERY INSTANT. PLEASE.</p> </blockquote> <p>this is beautiful and everyone needs to read it</p> </blockquote> <p>i hate you tumblr, fucking breaking my goddamn heart</p> </blockquote> <p>Then, one day, you’re having dinner with a friend you’ve known for as long as you can remember (or perhaps a friend of the family), and you finally talk to them about your counter. You’re crying, explaining that it’s always been at 0, and so you must not have a soul-mate.</p> <p>Their eyes widen. Tears begin to form, and they throw their arms around you.</p> <p>“Mine has always been at 0 too.”</p> <p>And that’s when you know…</p> </blockquote> <p>10 seconds: the doorbell rings, i get out of my chair<br/><br/>5 seconds: i give the man my money<br/><br/>0 seconds: i open the box. it is the most glorious pizza i have ever seen in my life.</p> </blockquote> <p>This post always has different stories on it and I always have to read it and reblog it</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="http://trustedwings.tumblr.com/post/131518606137/ishkaqwiaidurugnul-vonmunsterr">trustedwings</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Yeah but can I have that countdown for my period?</p></blockquote>: 0003 d 0Gh 48m 24s <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ishkaqwiaidurugnul.tumblr.com/post/105026608914">ishkaqwiaidurugnul</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://vonmunsterr.tumblr.com/post/85388049237">vonmunsterr</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ghostsneverleave.tumblr.com/post/85243110194">ghostsneverleave</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://insanihty.tumblr.com/post/85144886702">insanihty</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://xxarcane.tumblr.com/post/84873852950">xxarcane</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://youremybrandnewday.tumblr.com/post/84793166680">youremybrandnewday</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sp0tlessmiind.tumblr.com/post/80710248945">sp0tlessmiind</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://tiptreecrossing.tumblr.com/post/68707337582">tiptreecrossing</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://livingmywayeveryday.tumblr.com/post/39004186570">livingmywayeveryday</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://vickified.tumblr.com/post/32749023299">vickified</a>:</p> <blockquote> <blockquote> <p><em>“<span>If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?</span>”</em></p> </blockquote> <p>lol yes, so then i can shave.</p> </blockquote> <p>     One minute, 37 seconds.<br/>     My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.<br/>     One minute, 29 secods.<br/>     I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.<br/>     One minute, six seconds.<br/>     Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.<br/>      54 seconds.<br/>     Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t  my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?<br/>     30 seconds.<br/>     Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.<br/>     25 seconds.<br/>     That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.<br/>     20 seconds.<br/>     I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.<br/>     19. Faster.<br/>     18. Quicker.<br/>     17. More rapid.<br/>     16.  It’s racing.<br/>     Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.<br/>     My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.<br/>     10 seconds.<br/>     The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.<br/>     5. My heart has given up entirely.<br/>     4. I stop walking.<br/>     3. Just waiting left.<br/>     2. Everything is about to change.<br/>     1. Deep breath.</p> <p>     0000 d 00 h  00 m  00 s</p> <p>     Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.<br/>     “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”<br/>     As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.”</p> </blockquote> <blockquote> <p>“Thats weird…” I checked my wrist, the clock had just hit the 30 second mark but I looked around and there was no one there. I was a worrisome guy overall but I felt justified, I mean today was the day I was meeting my soul mate. Not that I expected my dream girl to be in the storage closet at work but still I was nervous. </p> <p>Walking out with a box the boss had requested I walked back to my cash register setting it on the shelf. My wrist hit the 20 second mark</p> <p>19 seconds</p> <p>18 seconds</p> <p>Where was she? I could not help but get worried that an error would pop up or that she was gone and my timer would run out with no response. I panicked, I’d change my own fate if I had to. Running out of time I hurried through the back door. There was a park outside and maybe I was supposed to be there to find my soul mate. </p> <p>10 seconds</p> <p>9 seconds</p> <p>A faint ding of the doorbell hit my ear. Wait was that it?? She was here! I turned around running back to the counter. “Don’t worry I’m just in the back!”</p> <p>I ran out looking at my wrist as it hit zero. Out of breath “Hi I’m Matt!” Sticking out my hand for a handshake it was met by a firm hand. Meeting my soulmate’s eyes for the first time they spoke. </p> <p>“I’m Steven.” The man gave a smile “It’s nice to meet you.” </p> </blockquote> <p> I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something.<br/> ”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her.<br/> ”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds.<br/> She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds.<br/> ”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere.<br/><br/> The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old. <br/> I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace.<br/><br/> I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.</p> <p> Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief.<br/> ”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art.<br/> 4 seconds<br/> He spots her.<br/> 3 seconds<br/> His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope.<br/> 2 seconds<br/> My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him.<br/> 1 second -<br/> ”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.</p> <p> I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.</p> <p> I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it. </p> <p> The numbers have never changed.</p> <p> They’ve always been at 0.</p> </blockquote> <div>Oh my god that last one…. My heart… The feels….</div> </blockquote> <p>AGH ALL OF YOU WRITE A BOOK THIS VERY INSTANT. PLEASE.</p> </blockquote> <p>this is beautiful and everyone needs to read it</p> </blockquote> <p>i hate you tumblr, fucking breaking my goddamn heart</p> </blockquote> <p>Then, one day, you’re having dinner with a friend you’ve known for as long as you can remember (or perhaps a friend of the family), and you finally talk to them about your counter. You’re crying, explaining that it’s always been at 0, and so you must not have a soul-mate.</p> <p>Their eyes widen. Tears begin to form, and they throw their arms around you.</p> <p>“Mine has always been at 0 too.”</p> <p>And that’s when you know…</p> </blockquote> <p>10 seconds: the doorbell rings, i get out of my chair<br/><br/>5 seconds: i give the man my money<br/><br/>0 seconds: i open the box. it is the most glorious pizza i have ever seen in my life.</p> </blockquote> <p>This post always has different stories on it and I always have to read it and reblog it</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="http://trustedwings.tumblr.com/post/131518606137/ishkaqwiaidurugnul-vonmunsterr">trustedwings</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Yeah but can I have that countdown for my period?</p></blockquote>
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thisisravenroth: temporaryforevers143: ishkaqwiaidurugnul: vonmunsterr: ghostsneverleave: insanihty: xxarcane: youremybrandnewday: sp0tlessmiind: tiptreecrossing: livingmywayeveryday: vickified: “If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?” lol yes, so then i can shave.      One minute, 37 seconds.     My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.     One minute, 29 secods.     I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.     One minute, six seconds.     Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.      54 seconds.     Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t  my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?     30 seconds.     Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.     25 seconds.     That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.     20 seconds.     I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.     19. Faster.     18. Quicker.     17. More rapid.     16.  It’s racing.     Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.     My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.     10 seconds.     The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.     5. My heart has given up entirely.     4. I stop walking.     3. Just waiting left.     2. Everything is about to change.     1. Deep breath.      0000 d 00 h  00 m  00 s      Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.     “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”     As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.” “Thats weird…” I checked my wrist, the clock had just hit the 30 second mark but I looked around and there was no one there. I was a worrisome guy overall but I felt justified, I mean today was the day I was meeting my soul mate. Not that I expected my dream girl to be in the storage closet at work but still I was nervous.  Walking out with a box the boss had requested I walked back to my cash register setting it on the shelf. My wrist hit the 20 second mark 19 seconds 18 seconds Where was she? I could not help but get worried that an error would pop up or that she was gone and my timer would run out with no response. I panicked, I’d change my own fate if I had to. Running out of time I hurried through the back door. There was a park outside and maybe I was supposed to be there to find my soul mate.  10 seconds 9 seconds A faint ding of the doorbell hit my ear. Wait was that it?? She was here! I turned around running back to the counter. “Don’t worry I’m just in the back!” I ran out looking at my wrist as it hit zero. Out of breath “Hi I’m Matt!” Sticking out my hand for a handshake it was met by a firm hand. Meeting my soulmate’s eyes for the first time they spoke.  “I’m Steven.” The man gave a smile “It’s nice to meet you.”   I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something. ”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her. ”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds. She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds. ”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere. The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old.  I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace. I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.  Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief. ”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art. 4 seconds He spots her. 3 seconds His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope. 2 seconds My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him. 1 second - ”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.  I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it.   The numbers have never changed.  They’ve always been at 0. Oh my god that last one…. My heart… The feels…. AGH ALL OF YOU WRITE A BOOK THIS VERY INSTANT. PLEASE. this is beautiful and everyone needs to read it i hate you tumblr, fucking breaking my goddamn heart Then, one day, you’re having dinner with a friend you’ve known for as long as you can remember (or perhaps a friend of the family), and you finally talk to them about your counter. You’re crying, explaining that it’s always been at 0, and so you must not have a soul-mate. Their eyes widen. Tears begin to form, and they throw their arms around you. “Mine has always been at 0 too.” And that’s when you know… 10 seconds: the doorbell rings, i get out of my chair5 seconds: i give the man my money0 seconds: i open the box. it is the most glorious pizza i have ever seen in my life. This post always has different stories on it and I always have to read it and reblog it Oh god I love it I’m so confused-I’m the only person working my shift at the restaurant.  The boss had to leave for an emergency, so I’m at the cash register when I notice the clock.  I have two minutes. The problem is I’m the only person in the store.  I quickly go to each of the windows to look outside-I know he’s going to there. I’m sweating now-I never expected this day to come. 10 9 8 7 6 5 There’s a sudden crash behind me and I turn my head slowly. 4 3 2 1 “Give me the money.  Now.” : 0003 d 0Gh 48m 24s thisisravenroth: temporaryforevers143: ishkaqwiaidurugnul: vonmunsterr: ghostsneverleave: insanihty: xxarcane: youremybrandnewday: sp0tlessmiind: tiptreecrossing: livingmywayeveryday: vickified: “If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?” lol yes, so then i can shave.      One minute, 37 seconds.     My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.     One minute, 29 secods.     I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.     One minute, six seconds.     Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.      54 seconds.     Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t  my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?     30 seconds.     Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.     25 seconds.     That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.     20 seconds.     I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.     19. Faster.     18. Quicker.     17. More rapid.     16.  It’s racing.     Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.     My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.     10 seconds.     The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.     5. My heart has given up entirely.     4. I stop walking.     3. Just waiting left.     2. Everything is about to change.     1. Deep breath.      0000 d 00 h  00 m  00 s      Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.     “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”     As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.” “Thats weird…” I checked my wrist, the clock had just hit the 30 second mark but I looked around and there was no one there. I was a worrisome guy overall but I felt justified, I mean today was the day I was meeting my soul mate. Not that I expected my dream girl to be in the storage closet at work but still I was nervous.  Walking out with a box the boss had requested I walked back to my cash register setting it on the shelf. My wrist hit the 20 second mark 19 seconds 18 seconds Where was she? I could not help but get worried that an error would pop up or that she was gone and my timer would run out with no response. I panicked, I’d change my own fate if I had to. Running out of time I hurried through the back door. There was a park outside and maybe I was supposed to be there to find my soul mate.  10 seconds 9 seconds A faint ding of the doorbell hit my ear. Wait was that it?? She was here! I turned around running back to the counter. “Don’t worry I’m just in the back!” I ran out looking at my wrist as it hit zero. Out of breath “Hi I’m Matt!” Sticking out my hand for a handshake it was met by a firm hand. Meeting my soulmate’s eyes for the first time they spoke.  “I’m Steven.” The man gave a smile “It’s nice to meet you.”   I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something. ”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her. ”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds. She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds. ”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere. The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old.  I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace. I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.  Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief. ”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art. 4 seconds He spots her. 3 seconds His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope. 2 seconds My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him. 1 second - ”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.  I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it.   The numbers have never changed.  They’ve always been at 0. Oh my god that last one…. My heart… The feels…. AGH ALL OF YOU WRITE A BOOK THIS VERY INSTANT. PLEASE. this is beautiful and everyone needs to read it i hate you tumblr, fucking breaking my goddamn heart Then, one day, you’re having dinner with a friend you’ve known for as long as you can remember (or perhaps a friend of the family), and you finally talk to them about your counter. You’re crying, explaining that it’s always been at 0, and so you must not have a soul-mate. Their eyes widen. Tears begin to form, and they throw their arms around you. “Mine has always been at 0 too.” And that’s when you know… 10 seconds: the doorbell rings, i get out of my chair5 seconds: i give the man my money0 seconds: i open the box. it is the most glorious pizza i have ever seen in my life. This post always has different stories on it and I always have to read it and reblog it Oh god I love it I’m so confused-I’m the only person working my shift at the restaurant.  The boss had to leave for an emergency, so I’m at the cash register when I notice the clock.  I have two minutes. The problem is I’m the only person in the store.  I quickly go to each of the windows to look outside-I know he’s going to there. I’m sweating now-I never expected this day to come. 10 9 8 7 6 5 There’s a sudden crash behind me and I turn my head slowly. 4 3 2 1 “Give me the money.  Now.”
Save