First Time
First Time

First Time

Excits
Excits

Excits

Pured
Pured

Pured

fabulousness
 fabulousness

fabulousness

no idea
 no idea

no idea

faces
 faces

faces

acids
acids

acids

cloths
cloths

cloths

yours
yours

yours

ons
ons

ons

🔥 Popular | Latest

Funny, Mail, and Day: Every day the mail, the strollers, the pedestrians, they taunt me.

Every day the mail, the strollers, the pedestrians, they taunt me.

Fam, Memes, and Happy: The look on her little face makes it all worth it ❤️ Happy Holidays from my fam to yours! merrychristmas

The look on her little face makes it all worth it ❤️ Happy Holidays from my fam to yours! merrychristmas

Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil asa gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?" 工@oscarewilde. 1d the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement 3 0458 8,741 工@oscarewilde. 1d utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person 3 I @oscarewilde 1d i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? I @oscarewilde .1d 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears and i can barely hear them. I maintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow 5 633 13.8K @oscarewilde 1d I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing 7 834 14.8K @oscarewilde 10 they Always take the pencil 67 2,088 33.5K prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying

prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying