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youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :( : ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
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studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future! Generators Character Appearance Generator Archetypes Generator Character Generator Character Traits Generator Family Generator Job/Occupation Generator, (II) Love Interest Generator Motive Generator Name Generator Personality Generator, (II) Quick Character Generator Super Powers Generator Names Brand Name Generator Medicine Title Generator Name Generator Quick Name Generator Vehicle Generator Town Name Generator Plot First Encounter Generator First Line Generator, (II) Plot Generator, (II), (III) Plot Device Generator Plot Twist Generator Quick Plot Generator Setting/World-Building City Generator Fantasy Race Generator Laws Generator Pet Generator Setting Generator Species Generator Terrain Generator Prompts Subject Generator ”Take Three Nouns” Generator Word Prompt Generator Misc Color Generator Decision Generator Dialogue Generator Journey Generator Title Generator, (II), (III) Some Tips Just a few I found from the writing tips tag! Writing action / @berrybird How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing 8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor psa for writers / @dasakuryo ”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven Vocabulary Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee Words to describe someone’s voice Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth Some Advice Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers ”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite 8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk (How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk 14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts Playlists Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid “Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead Chill / @endlessreveries Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt Fatale / @dolcegf All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites Pythia / @mazikeene Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil Websites and Apps For Writing ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow. The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit! Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone! Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account. Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently. Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you! For Productivity Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store) ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive. Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store) SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things! Prompt Blogs @writeworld @dialouge-prompts @oopsprompts @prompts-for-the-otp @creativepromptsforwriting @the-modern-typewriter @theprofessionalpromptmaker @writers-are-writers @otp-imagines-cult @witterprompts @havetobememes @auideas @putthepromptsonpaper @promptsonpaper @fyotpprompts @otpisms @soprompt @otpprompts @ablockforwritersblock @awritersnook Writing Tips Blogs @writeworld @anomalously-written @awritersnook @clevergirlhelps @referenceforwriters @whataboutwriting @thewritershelpers @nimblesnotebook @slitheringink : creative writing MASTERPOST studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future! Generators Character Appearance Generator Archetypes Generator Character Generator Character Traits Generator Family Generator Job/Occupation Generator, (II) Love Interest Generator Motive Generator Name Generator Personality Generator, (II) Quick Character Generator Super Powers Generator Names Brand Name Generator Medicine Title Generator Name Generator Quick Name Generator Vehicle Generator Town Name Generator Plot First Encounter Generator First Line Generator, (II) Plot Generator, (II), (III) Plot Device Generator Plot Twist Generator Quick Plot Generator Setting/World-Building City Generator Fantasy Race Generator Laws Generator Pet Generator Setting Generator Species Generator Terrain Generator Prompts Subject Generator ”Take Three Nouns” Generator Word Prompt Generator Misc Color Generator Decision Generator Dialogue Generator Journey Generator Title Generator, (II), (III) Some Tips Just a few I found from the writing tips tag! Writing action / @berrybird How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing 8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor psa for writers / @dasakuryo ”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven Vocabulary Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee Words to describe someone’s voice Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth Some Advice Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers ”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite 8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk (How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk 14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts Playlists Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid “Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead Chill / @endlessreveries Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt Fatale / @dolcegf All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites Pythia / @mazikeene Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil Websites and Apps For Writing ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow. The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit! Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone! Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account. Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently. Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you! For Productivity Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store) ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive. Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store) SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things! Prompt Blogs @writeworld @dialouge-prompts @oopsprompts @prompts-for-the-otp @creativepromptsforwriting @the-modern-typewriter @theprofessionalpromptmaker @writers-are-writers @otp-imagines-cult @witterprompts @havetobememes @auideas @putthepromptsonpaper @promptsonpaper @fyotpprompts @otpisms @soprompt @otpprompts @ablockforwritersblock @awritersnook Writing Tips Blogs @writeworld @anomalously-written @awritersnook @clevergirlhelps @referenceforwriters @whataboutwriting @thewritershelpers @nimblesnotebook @slitheringink

studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to creat...

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