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Animals, Apparently, and Ass: captainsnoop i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp like culturally everyone is like "haha pick the pokemon you want! if you're happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!" and then you're supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that's their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you're supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you're like "haha, we'll have a friendly battle!" and you throw out your geodude and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you're a hiker and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey so you're down to your last pokemon. you tell them you're gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like "oh okay in that case i'm gonna pull out my vulpix." like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks? this kid's a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! jumpingjacktrash i mean if you look at how npc's talk about their pokemon, they're service animals mostly some of them are just pets. apparently they really enjoy sparring, so you let them battle other people's pokemon for socialization, it's like going to the dog park. hell yes i'd be mad if i took my chronic pain support chow-chow to the dog park and some asshole with four rottweilers and a husky was like SIC EM THUNDERNUTS even if my dog enjoyed the tussle at first. look, kid, the paras helps me weed the garden it's not a special forces attack paras. it's just a bug that eats dandelions. please calm down maxiesatanofficial This is precisely why Cooltrainers are exiled to the mountains Source: captainsnoop A very long post about Pokémon
America, Church, and Driving: PRAY FOR US SINNERS JACKSON #10 :00CHRISTIAN BAPTIST SUN. SERVICE 9:30 AM&11:00 AM SUN. EVE. 7:00 PM PASTOR: COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS REPENT CHURCHES CHRISTIAN FIRST BRETHREN CHURCH oFTHE BRETHREN EVANGELICAL METHODIST zephyrantha: glamourcat28: theexistentiallyqueer: saathi1013: stonecoldfemme: sonneillonv: copperhamster: conquerorwurm: banana0042: maybeware: fantastigasmical: kaci3po: watergender: psychicdictatorship: the aesthetic of american far right christianity is horrifying run-down signs screaming about hell in the middle of nowhere is my aesthetic though You don’t know true pants-shitting fear until you’re driving in the middle of nowhere, not a single sign of civilization as far as the eye can see, haven’t seen another living being in three hours, and then out of nowhere suddenly looms a half-destroyed barn with the words “HELL IS REAL” painted on what remains of the roof. I’ll be honest, you could say most of these were from a horror game and I wouldn’t doubt you.  Implying America isn’t a horror game lately. America isn’t a game. It is just a horror. Visible from i-40, between Interstate 40 and old Route 66, the Groom, TX cross Englewood Ohio @saathi1013 #i feel like you would appreciate this YEP. hey so fun fact about that last one it’s located right by the I-75 highway and anyone driving in or out of cincinnati could see it from the road and it was horrifying the first time i saw it because i felt like i was about to die. the statue was called king of kings, but i only ever heard it referred to as touchdown jesus. just imagine yourself kicking a football through those lofty open arms…..ohio 1, satan 0. in 2010 touchdown jesus was very sadly struck by lightning and burned down, possibly because so many heathens were calling him touchdown jesus and imagining playing football with the lord. or possibly because that’s just what happens when you build a giant styrofoam and fiberglass statue next to an artificial pond on a hill in the middle of rural ohio. fortunately our good friends down in englewood have contingency plans for god’s wrath and the end of the world, so they built a new statue named lux mundi. unfortunately, lux mundi is not as amped to play football. but he does look like he’s down for hugs. RIP, touchdown jesus. we miss you. 😢 The skeletal remains of touchdown Jesus is one of the more horrifying things I’ve seen. The line “heathens were calling him touchdown Jesus and imagining playing football with the Lord” is hilarious to me because one of the most pervasive Christian summer camp/“get the kids excited” songs is called My Father’s House and talks about Heaven as a great vacation destination, and everyone’s favorite line is “It’s a big, big yard where we can play football! TOUCHDOWN!” And yes, please do imagine several hundred kids getting more excited about playing football with God than literally anything else that week.