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Apparently, Baseball, and Beautiful: crime show: well we don't know what time she was taken but as you can see in this convenience store security footage she's mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells us she's saying 'those three wise men they ve got a semi by the sea which are lyrics to James Blunt's song Wisemen which was playing on that store's favoured radio station at approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly five minutes later so therefore m crying cause most secunty cams would have timestamps crime show: now see usually we'd manage to get a timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would think this means we shouldn't be able to see the footage at all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it as their background footage while recording yesterday so jenroses yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it? unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality and very grainy but as Izoom in on this super blurry pixelated mage you can see the details become much clearer and easier to identify But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the camera lens? good eye! originally I didn't even notice it was there but whie combing through the footage I noticed three different people sneezed whille in view of the camera. I did some research and found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure plant life that is native to this particular state, which really doesn't help us, except that it only ever blooms in the opposite season! So I did some digging and found four nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that plant all year round, which of course means mongolman101 Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the cameras live feed as background, then we should know the ime of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we will know the time the perpetrator was in the building DAMNIT jONES THIS ISN'T YOUR CASE WELL IT'S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up state. So, apparently, we're supposed to work together. I'm not any happier than you are. but I hate sharing! TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is somehow connected with that cult that's been sacrificing its members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god Cthulhu. Now, I don't like it any more than you do, and I'm worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside our differences, and do what needs to be done?! Alright, but when we catch the perp he's mine. I don't care if he's sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse! That man may know who killed my father, and I wont let anyone get in my way -not even someone with your develish smile. Do you think you're the only one who wants to find Eric's murderer?1 He was my partnerl He was my friend Iknow we haven't worked together before, but this case will have us working together for a while, until we eventually find your fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time, and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But don't worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force, put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being from on high decides the precinct isn't ready for a same sex couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of our adventures, will always know we were meant to be together, weirdly large age gap be damned! Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have him! But you're right. This case will definitely take at least a full year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be halloween themed. Were working together for the forseeable future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to keep secrets. And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can really get across how Not Gay I am. It's gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be stakeouts. executive producer dick wolf Source: aloverthegaf Tumblr Crime Show
Being Alone, Animals, and Cute: uristmcdor It occurs to me that as much as "humans are the scary ones" fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly fhiendy or I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought Tm gonna ride on that thing And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yeling PUPPYT and initiating playful interaction with it And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest toughest alens out there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug 'enm Why' I dunno. I gotta hug 'emm And its ike the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly umanity has a bunch of big scary friends Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans Why7 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated? nseems to be the opposite Commander Just this morming a crewman nearly lost their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world Their reaction to the atack was to call the creature a "mean kitty" and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readly with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alen creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna 1 see what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these puppies" so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated Ehehehe I love this. Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 00% cuter and more epic Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone So 1 hear that you've just recruited a human for your ship Yes, #'s the first time that Ive worked with these species, but they come highly recommended Say, you've worked with a few, what tps can you give me? I'd hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding f its avoidable The first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised Wait, what? Tm serious Dont do it. Things Happen But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board? Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excelent innovators, and are psychologically very reslient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary But Toks, didn't you just say The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia? The very same Surprisingly good sense of humour. But don't even get me started on that one ime with the Dunlip Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it As a pet A Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun? Yup Dont leave your humans unsupervised uh,take that under advisement Senousily Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond wilth or they will make their own I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway but without any permanent pets they can get.. creative Dont even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby Three weeks in and when we finaly caught the wretched thing hailt the humans on crew tried to revolt about us "killing Stabby by removing the knfe How how did you resolve that si Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead Quite a creative solution, I suppose And that sated the humans? Worse Worse? They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spings to both and held mock battles Then decided Stabby and Knfey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage ights between them any more So if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding pets ? Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic pet shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners? Yes.. You don't sound very reassuring Well. You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their pets is actualy what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider 'safe OK..I am getting a little nervous about this No, no its fine, I'm just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to describe the creature before they get t For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking what it was What happened? Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat. My enire crew was temified of it, it was agle and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of it. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its beans' as they said, forcing the creatures claws out, and then they would show people it's deady claws while saying, and I quote. look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kils things, isnt it Cute? Seriousty? I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sleep next to the giant creature You are not making me feel better with these stories everythingtromdust Source radioactivepeasant 28,157 notes Jan 11h 2017 HFY


Tumblr, Blog, and Http: ravensbeak: Playful Ravens by Mika Honkalinna

ravensbeak: Playful Ravens by Mika Honkalinna

Animals, Cats, and Creepy: rabbitinheadlights l feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here's a very basic quide to common "mean" things cats do that actually aren't mean at all if you know what they're thinking Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you! Actually means: I'm playful! If you reach for my belly I'll grab your arm and bite it because I think we're playfighting! Lazily exposing belly still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I'm showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don't break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I'm not ticklish and I know you wel Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You're petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean: l'm ignoring you Actually means: We're hanging out! I'm being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You've failed to establish that we're not playing, or the way you're approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye contact and blink slowly at me before you try again. squeakykins I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they're so completely different behaviourally blome3kissesbitch I love dogs too but, I've been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities blome3kissesbitch P.s. people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you're doing probably hurts them northisnotup Also, their tail language is the opposite! Cats, tail up: happy to see you, happy to be here, happy in general Dogs (most breeds), tail up: On Alert, Hypervigilant, May Attack pluckyredhead And a cat with a swishing/"wagging" tail is a P.O.'ed cat. naamahdarling Sitting and staring Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them. I just don't need to blink very often! Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I'm smug and think l am smarter than you Actually means: I like you! But I don't need to get up in your face to show it. I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you l am glad you are around! It's very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they're deceitful. They aren't! They just AREN'T DOGS Cats are misunderstood creatures
Facts, Life, and Money: sillymarillion-comics knitmeapony: istillliveinnarnia brigwife brigwife: why is it not common knowledge that tolkien and c s lewis once went to a non-costume party dressed as polar bears tolkien also used to chase his neighbours down the street in full viking warrior gear, and once convinced a class he taught that leprechauns are real IS THIS TRUE BECAUSE THIS IS GOLD. PURE GOLD Both facts well documented. From this bio, for instance At Oxford, he was not only sometimes injudicious in the expenditure of money but could be absolutely rowdy in pursuing fun and in the practice of pranks. A great fan of The Marx Brothers' movies, throughout his life Tolkien was playful, liked pranks, costumes and incongruous comedy. "I have a very simple sense of humour," he wrote, "which even my appreciative critics find tiresome." Long after his high-spirited performances at King Edward's and the town-gown rowdiness of his Oxford days, when he was a don at Oxford, Tolkien was known to "dress up as An Anglo-Saxon warrior complete with axe and chase an astonished neighbour." He and C.S. Lewis once went to a party, which was not a costume party, as polar bears, Tolkien wearing a sheep skin and his face painted white." Carpenter, Tolkien: 130) In the middle of an academic lecture, he might take a four inch green shoe from out of his pocket as proof that leprechauns exist, and in old age he might hand a store clerk his false teeth with the coins. (Birzer, 5) Just imagine them doing vines Jack and Tollers

Jack and Tollers