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80s, Ariana Grande, and Bad: This dog throwing a ball on the beach @DrSmashlove A dear friend of mine who live in NYC was seriously dating a man from out of town. He planned to move to NYC and they planned to start a life together. He ended up calling it all off and it hurt her badly. I was texting with her and she said out of deep frustration “I HONESTLY JUST WANNA B LIKE ARIANA GRANDE THANK U NEXT BUT NOOO”. This really hurt my heart. Lemme splain y’all some. First, even Ariana ain’t like Ariana. I don’t know what Ariana was like as a child or what she like now. None of us do. Everything about her - from her music to her social media - is carefully crafted-curated by a team of dozens of people who make their living off of her. She has the fourth largest IG account with 136M followers. She don’t just walk into a bathroom bust a selfie and post it like y’all. She got a team of former Facebook-IG employees who analyze IG activity to the millisecond and post content that will guarantee growth and exposure of her account. And her music is cranked out by the same old balding men in creepy black nike caps, bad tans and tight jeans who managed Guns N Roses-Metallica in the 80s and now have decided that dressing a grown woman up as a lil girl with bows in her hair is the wave. Don’t ever get lost in the sauce. NOBODY’s heart is built like that. NOBODY invest they entire existence someone and then by the next day they like “thank u next”. That’s a tag line only someone with a sick heart (in a black nike baseball cap 😂) could devise. It’s not real. Love is a gift. Sometimes the world gets in the way. Don’t stop loving with all your heart. My friend said “What if I never meet anyone who makes me feel like that? Or worse, what if I can’t let myself feel like that with someone who deserves it bc he fvcked up my sense of trust so bad?” Well bish that’s how the heart works lol! That’s how u feel when u in love and it get torn apart! U feel like maybe u never gon be in love again! Nah. A merciful God ain’t build us like that and God is indeed merciful. Give it time. U will love again and realize that ya ex was a whole trash can. It take time to heal but it will happen. Don’t hold yourself to someone else’s timeline! Ever! Love y’all. Bless up ❤️
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Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes* 30 year old mothers and gay niggas: @jxremixh I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting 💀 So y’all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasn’t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. “Yeah I got one question. Let’s say you’re online dating a girl and when y’all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?” I mean yeah at first it was funny 💀 but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , who’s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. “So recently my brother passed away and-“ OH NAH 💀 yo I’m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. “-and recently I’ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-“ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH 😭😭 a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking 😭 she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. “Is something funny?” Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. “Nah go ahead.” Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh
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