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Peanut

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You Failed

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Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
Family, Life, and Parents: The Anxiety Chart' Made to Help Others Understand My Anxiety MIGHTY The Anxiety Level 0 Anxiety Level 5 Life is good. Nothing to stress about. I can handle anything life throws my way." "What the hell am I going to do? Imagine totalling your car, messing up your big presentation at work or failing How average people start their day. your final exams at school. Anxiety Level 1 "Just a little hiccup. Nothing I can't handle. Anxiety Level 6 "This is all too much to handle! Akin to misplacing your sunglasses or the remote. Easily resolved Imagine losing your job, failing the big test AND totalling your car all in the same day Anxiety Level 7 Anxiety Level 2 Oh c'mon.. where the heck are they "I can't take anymore.." This is NOT a good time! Similar to misplacing your keys whe Anxiety Level 3 Imagine having all of that happen, then coming home to discover your basement flooded and your family pet died. you're running late for work. Anxiety Level 8 Where did that scratch come fromY Could anything else freakin go wrong?! Imagine finding a scratch or small ding on your new car. Imagine adding to that your identity was stolen, your bank account ciosed AND vour spouse left, taking the kids Anxiety Level 4 Anxiety Level 9 Silently rocking back and forth Imagine not being able to take anything shutting down completely What am I going to tell them? annImagine being the cause of a scratch or ding on your parents ts' new car.else and just wrapping in a blanket and car