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Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
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Birthday, College, and Elf: r/AskReddit Posted by u/pijeN57.11Hh What's the weird way you met one of your now best friends? Discussion 3.4k Share BEST COMMENTS GarunixReborn 11h We were at year 7 camp, and he ran... MinerOfStarDust 9 . 8h . One of my best friends an I m… CarterMT099 10h We were both trying to get with the sa. DaPretzelBoi 11h I threw a rock. I wasn't aiming at him, Frugal_Midwestern 10h I went to her birthday party in ki... PixelLaurs 10h My therapist told me it would be a good idea to make a friend. I disagreed because I thoughtI was doing just fine by myself, but then again I was in therapy for an attachment disorder so I wasn't really the expert on that. She eventually convinced me to give it a try, which I did mostly just to get her to stop bothering me about it. I had seen a girl walking around my college campus a few times wearing elf ears, so I thought, if I have to have a friend, that's the one I want. I approached her one day at lunch and started a conversation about the ears. As it turns out, she told me one of the reas- ons she wore them was as a conversation starter to help her make friends. I told her it worked and asked her flat out if she wanted to be friends because social interaction is hard and I didn't know how else to go about it. Well, it turns out my therapist was right. The elf-ear girl was my maid of honor when I got married last August, but I had to ask her not to wear them during the ceremony. :) Reply 3.9k This is wholesome in the true sense.

This is wholesome in the true sense.

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Cute, Nerd, and Yeah: fanboyingduringteatime stephendann spookyhella casually call people "human" to unsettle them and make them question what sort of being you are re psychoanalyze me#and i turned on him and hissed dont presume patably baffled and terrified an wa and i felt powerful and celestial ll was well Oooh! I have done this a few times One of my favorites is when a religious converter type comes up to me when I'm sitting around. Because they usually have a cold open like "The Lord has called me to you" replying with "Indeed He Has My Child, for He is Pleased With Your Work, and wishes you to know that you are known to Him". Throw inflections into the wrong points in words, but do it with a very calming presence. After all, you're the SMS from the afterlife, you're merely the vessel of the vassal, and nothing scuttles their plans faster than trying to have to process that this very calmly spoken person who InflEcts their words JuiSSSSt quite not riGHt is acknowleding them in an uncomforting way Once they leave, watch them until something blocks the line of site, and then move like lightning to not be there when they glance back. (This is why there are probably some really good rumours in Adelaide about me) I remember this guy once who tried to dare me (the nerd of the group) to do something or another to prove my "manliness" I calmly replied "How cute of you to think I'm human..." and kept walking He stared at me in confusion and when I was several meters away I heard him say "yeah...good point." Social Interaction 401

Social Interaction 401

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Facebook, Friday, and Relationships: Researchers Find Decline In Facebook Use Could Be Directly Linked To Desire To Be Happy Fully Functioning Person <p><a href="http://theonion.tumblr.com/post/170431494634/berkeley-caresearchers-at-university-of" class="tumblr_blog">theonion</a>:</p><blockquote><p>BERKELEY, CA—Researchers at University of California-Berkeley discovered Friday that a reduction in Facebook use could be directly linked to one’s desire to be a happy and fully functioning person. “Our data indicate that there may, in fact, be a relationship between yearning to be a self-realized human who enjoys being with other people in the real world and not spending every waking minute on artificial, once-removed social-interaction venues such as Facebook,” said lead scientist Dr. Charles Jennings, explaining that those who logged even marginally less time on the site displayed greater interest in performing basic physical activities, at least occasionally left their homes, and developed more meaningful relationships with others. “Furthermore, the vast majority of subjects did not miss ignoring others to bury their faces in their phones, endlessly obsessing over their public image, or mindlessly scrolling through a timeline in an attempt to fill a perceived void in their lives. Instead, most generally preferred things like experiencing the outside world, sleeping regularly, and allowing themselves the full range of human emotion.” Dr. Jennings added that the long-term psychological effects of decreased Facebook use are unclear, as the study had largely been conducted through polls and questionnaires on the UCB Psychology Department’s Facebook page.<br/></p></blockquote>

theonion:BERKELEY, CA—Researchers at University of California-Berkeley discovered Friday that a reduction in Facebook use could be directly ...

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