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Bless Up, Cute, and Funny: Once a lap dog, always a lap dog So a lot of you have been asking me, hey smash, when are you going to review the weighted blanket, how did it work, does it work wonders, did it fix your sleep problem?? Well it’s funny u ask! Since I got it, I’ve had two weeks of perfectly sound sleep where I close my eyes and imagine cows skipping over a fence (like happy cows on a vegan farm where all they gotta do is be cute lol) for three minutes until I doze blissfully 😍. JUST KIDDING! It made it worse a lil bit 😂. Officially said goodbye to that h0e today. I wanted it to work but like a toxic relationship sometimes You idealize something but the reality is it is not what is best for you so you have to say goodbye and block them forever but keep the entire text thread including the pics as evidence 🧐 LOL! Just kidding but not really 🙂😂. Mannnnnn listen. I wanted it to work. I was in full placebo effect. I was ready to receive God’s blessings. But that bish had me feelin TRAPPT. Like it’s supposed to mimic the warmth of the human body but for some reason a THICCUM pair of thighs straddling my right quad muscles whilst a head delicately lays on my BREAST and two breasstasis swaddle my right side feel hella different 🧐. Anyway I tried. Gave it a go for two skrate weeks. Did not work as intended. That being said, I do not want to dissuade you! It has worked for so many people and I am so thankful to the person who recommended it. That person has recommended a lot of great things and this one just happened to not work out. One person’s medicine is another person’s poison. This is how we were created. May you all sleep well and wake up rested and rejuvenated. Bless up! ❤️

So a lot of you have been asking me, hey smash, when are you going to review the weighted blanket, how did it work, does it work wonders, di...

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Animals, Beautiful, and Crying: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING: WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00 You won't be getting up for 5 through his diaper and now your bed is covered in urine more You change a diaper and try to get the kid to sleep a little longer but now the he's yelling zoo animals and doing flips on the 6:30 You made some breakfast for your child, but today he decided he hates eggs. He's saying he wants "scrims" but you don't know what that means. He won't explain and just keeps yelling "scrims" louder and louder 7:00 Your pillow got a little warm so you turn it over and go back to You've now watched the same episode of Spongebob four times. One time you tried to change it over to the news and your kid shoved a spoon in the Tranquil visions dance in your 8:00 O0 head as the sweet embrace of slumber engulfs your resting body You attempt to take a shower but your kid keeps throwing can openers into the tub. You weren't aware that you hacd multiple can openers An angel comes down and gently kisses your forehead. Sleep well, sweet prince 8:30 You walk upstairs to your room, but didn't realize your kid was using the stairs as a stunt zone for Hot Wheels and you slip on one and nearly die as you tumble back down to the A hummingbird perches itself outside your window and sings a sweet lullaby. He blows you a kiss and soars away 9:00 You try to finally go to the bathroom, but forgot to lock the door so now your kid is crying because you won't let him dump sand in your lap. He dumps it on the dog instead. The sand was actually used cat litter You wake briefly to adjust your sleep number. (You bought an adjustable bed with all the disposable income you have from not having a kid.) 9:30 You hear laughter, which is almost more terrifying than crying. You walk in the living room to see your kid making 10:00 S Still sleeping soundly, like a puppy in front of a crackling snow angels in glue. There's no way you're getting your deposit back with a giant glue angel in the middle of the carpet Your kid doses off and you try to catch up on your favorite show You stir a little and check your texts. Your friend wants to go to brunch later. That sounds nice 30 more minutes of sleep and you'll get ready for that. Maybe go to mall later or ride go-karts Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30 there's a dramatic moment where the music builds and your kid is now wide-awake. (Screw You get everyone loaded into the car to go to the zoo, even though it's 90 degrees and so humid taxidermy is coming back to life. Your kid yells a racial slur he heard in a movie. Out of all the words he's heard, that's the only one that stuck. You wake up feeling refreshed and beautiful. You know what? It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the bed a while and watch a movie 11:00 srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

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