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Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil asa gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?" ๅทฅ@oscarewilde. 1d the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement 3 0458 8,741 ๅทฅ@oscarewilde. 1d utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person 3 I @oscarewilde 1d i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? I @oscarewilde .1d 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears and i can barely hear them. I maintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow 5 633 13.8K @oscarewilde 1d I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing 7 834 14.8K @oscarewilde 10 they Always take the pencil 67 2,088 33.5K prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying

prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying

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Anaconda, Ass, and Bad: 100%-12:12 did-you-kno did you know? On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop. There's an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that says wizards didn't need toilets because they 'simply relieved themselves where they stood and vanished the evidence. On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop. There's an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that says wizards didn't need toilets because they 'simply relieved themselves where they stood, and vanished the evidence. Source Source 2 i fucking hate jk rowling so much because years and years after this franchise has ended she is still continuing trying to make it bad to the point where she said that every character in harry potter canonically shits themselves and then casts a shit vanishing spell zahnegott fuck this is b a d mutant-aesthetic This reminds me of the huffepuff group masturbation tweets The what? Turtie Feinstein 09 dan JK Rowling Does Hogwarts have sex ed classes? J.K. Rowling rowing Follo MoaningTurtle Unfortunately no. Wizards tend to be a little more conservative with such things (1/3) 4ใ€ ๋‹ค2,835 โ˜…6222 J.K. Rowling Follo MoaningTurtie Of course, like all teens, they eventually figure things out and experiment with their sexuality (2/3) J.K. Rowling Folow MoaningTurtle For example, group masturbation sessions are exceedingly common in the Hogwarts dormitories, particularly Hufflepuff C3/3) 1,833 4,82 Just imagine you're taking a test for potions with Snape and the guy sitting next to you just fucking shits himself the nastiest slimiest shit of his life out of stress. And you literally have to sit there with a straight face while fuckin Todd Jinglelangles cleans himself up in the dead quiet room with some stupid ass line like "vanish me poopum" and you just gotta live with the knowledge that some kid just shit himself beside you duringa fucking test urulokid how do you delete someone elses post crylie I am in tears Joe what the fuck did you make me read This gotta be fake They literally have bathrooms in Hogwarts like theyre pretty important to the plot too did jk just forget about that? The bathroom where mystle lives (she literally dives into a toilet)? The prefects bathroom? How can she claim theres no bathrooms??? this post gave me mesothelioma and I feel entitled to compensation thebibliosphere lpot to "vanish me poopum" and lost my mind. I've been cry laughing for about five minutes. Source: didyouknowblog.com 205,228 notes fecesious disapperius
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