Girls, Hello, and Target: sabertoothwalrus:
this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet
He is now 16 weeks old and over 6 pounds. Kittens are supposed to be half their adult weight at 5-6 months, and he is barely 4 months old. What the fuck.
Now at 22 weeks, 5 months old, half his adult weight, this baby is 10 pounds,,,
30 WEEKS. 7 MONTHS.
THAT IS TWICE THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A CAT HIS AGE. THE GIRLS IN HIS LITTER ARE ONLY LIKE 8 POUNDS WHY IS HE SO HUGE
Hello it is Time for Another Update!!!
It is June 18th, 2018. Half-n-Half is now 10 months old. Last I weighed him (like 2 weeks ago?) he was over 15 pounds, but he’s not gaining weight as rapidly anymore. Regardless, he’s still Big
GUESS WHO’S ONE AND A HALF AND WEIGHS 17 POUNDS
THIS FUCKIN MAGNIFICENT GUY!!!!!!!!
Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston
Arthur More Organ
Hoseas Before Broseas
swagalicious crunchy outside,
self-deprecating chewy center
- "how many licks does it take
the squad's favorite disaster
squares up at a moment's notice
can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression"
goth jock dropout just wants to settle down -
- dumbest smart person alive
- denies being moe
- "wanna know how I got these scars-
wait where are you going"
- makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break
- "Actually, correlation is not causation"
- thinks they're charming, is actually charming
- constantly forgets their age
- "back in my day
- only one who knows what
the fuck they're talking about
incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up
- one shot, one kill
- "once I go viral it's over for you hoes"
- has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody
- productive procrastinator
can never hold down a relationship
- Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby
suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions"
- jokes hit too close to home
- Good bad influence
- weed friend
Make It Work
-always knows what to play at a party
- adopts everyone on sight
- great with kids, great with animals,
wants to hold your baby
- scientific evidence good girls
want bad boys
- burns salads
- "have you eaten today"
- owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun
- professional alcoholic
- always needs to borrow money
- terrible drunk, never remembers
what happened that night
walks around the house in their underwear
gives great hugs
needs seven showers
group's unexpected therapist
patronus is secondhand embarrassment
just wants to be part of the family
"MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"*
is the party
cultured, well-traveled and stylish;
made for Instagram
- *gestures to all of you* "we need
to do something about this"
- always starts drama, yet always
seems to avoid it
bad taste in literally everything,
banned from recommending outings
- will always have squad's back
iron constitution, never gets sick
- "say that to my fucking face"
- may seem Mad, is actually Sad
*pulls up in drive-thru, orders single
starts the day with horoscope readings
- Chaotic Loyal
black coffee, leaves
FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh)
Green Hat McGuy
"join team chat"
- fashionable at all times, even when
going to the grocery store
can't do crime if you ain't cute
-only dates fictional men
won't leave the house for days need
lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor
regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor
too nice for own good
living boke and tsukkomi routine
to shut up yesterday
social interaction, naps for ten years
it's basic hygiene
and laying beneath the stars
-"please stop talking"
exhausted after two minutes of
maybe they're born with it, maybe
soft spot for animals, slow dancing
cooler than you
. living proof the scariest people
frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion
come in the nicest packages
graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again"
nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive
every day is roast session day
- "I'll roast you, I'll roast them,
I'll roast me fuckin' self"
- Has never completed No Nut November
sings in the shower
- adores Linkin Park
- "are you ready yet" "almost"
- allergic to idiots
Let Me Speak To Your Manager
- retired mom friend, back from retirement
ages every time someone references
a vine instead of responding normally
- smokes sixty packs a day
social norms are for dweebs
just wants to play videogames
- No Drama? No ProblemTM
-"Local Mean Girl Refuses To
Be Toppled From Throne"
- loses shit over small things
-THIS close to cutting someone
and snack in peace
shoves people in lockers to show affection
forgets not to swear in front of other
never forgets a birthday
shaped like a friend
only one in squad who can cook
only one in squad who can drive
the queen of throwing down
"fuck, sorry about that"
given up on romance
big problems are Whatever
- needs therapy
- Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing
To Love' And 'Before He Cheats'
common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies
- a matryoshka of pain
- wishes you didn't look like a dump truck
knows Wicked by heart
- only one in squad who does taxes
- villain origin story is that stubborn
chin hair that keeps growing back
- always says 'gg' after every game
incredible skin care regimen
- "just drink more water"
award winning sailor mouth
- Big Hair, Don't Care
"What's My Age Again" by Blink 182
World's Saddest Violin
Looks like a million dollars, is probably
worth a million dollars
- family person, loves everybody
keeps Twitter on private
- meows back at their cat
- extroverted introvert
-feels guilty for not logging into
Animal Crossing for nine months
thinks existence is kind of funny
invented the word 'dapper
- the living embodiment of when
you try your best but you don't succeed'
- just wants to be loved and cherished
-great with animals, never scratched
the life of the party, when they're
not launching into drunken diatribes
-smartest smart person alive
-stays up until three in the morning
thinking about the meaning of life
- an essential addition to any squad
- reads at 10,000 miles per hour
wants to stab Banksy
hates stan culture
hoards comfort food beneath their desk
gets sentimental over their Neopets
used to hoard Beanie Babies
- hates answering the phone
- silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms
- needs more friends
- stylish drunk with two hollow legs
- never fails to speak their mind
great at impressions
- regularly confuses main for private
"just forget I said that haha"
preserves their right hook for justice
- stared into the void, got bored
quotes movies when provoked
- "That's just, like, your opinion, man."
the most perfect teeth
Talk Shit, Get Hit
- soft outside, softer inside
- never ashamed to cry
- weak spot for pups, needs
to pet every dog they see
-only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate
needs to seriously reconsider things
trolling game out of control
- never seems to accumulate debt,
also never tips the waiter
took college prep in high school
- can't fight to save their life
- surprisingly terrifying comebacks
gg ez clap"
oves Bon Iver, Death Grips
and Beyonce equally
- Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob
workplace's local kissass
likes to give gifts to sad friends
living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies
home life is a mess
- needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms
to take one
- adopted by everybody
- "Oh, I won't report you...yet"
believes they were born in the wrong era
- has never yelled once
- in love with the smell of old books
- wishes on stars when no one's looking
leaves breadcrumbs in butter
a well-rounded tool
- nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind."
red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs
tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis
I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
Bad, Bitch, and Confused: pey
a girl in one of my classes today had a
seizure and when the paramedics were
trying to talk to her they asked her a
bunch of questions. she finally came to
when they asked her who the president
is and she deadass mumbles "dont
make me say it"
These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:
“Okay, and who’s the president?”
“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”
“It’s okay, you know who he is.”
“Who’s the president?”
“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….
“Yup, good enough.”
“And who’s the president,”
“Not fuckin’ Obama!”
“I feel ya.”
“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“
“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”
“Oh, well, alright then.”
5. (My personal favorite)
“Who’s the president?”
I love asking assessing alertness and orientation because these are basically the answers I get hahaha
Yesterday I had to answer that question twice. I answered with “sad” and “a very bad man”
Alive, Apparently, and Come Over: I'm a therapist and keep this poster
in my waiting room, apparently it's
saved a few lives
I DONT LIKE THE PHRASE "A CRY FOR HELP"ェJuST DONT LKE
HOW IT SOuNDS, WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS TO ME, "I'M THINKING
ABOUT SUICIDE, I HAVE A PLAN: I JUST NEED A REASON NOT TO
DOITTHE LAST THING I SEE IS HELPLESSNESS.
I THINK: YOUR DEPRESSION HAS BEEN BEATING YOU UP FOR YEARS.
IT'S CALLED YOU UGLY, AND STUPID, AND PATHETIC, AND A FAILURE,
FOR SO LONG THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN THAT IT'S WRONG. YOU DON'T
SEE ANY GOOD IN YOURSELF, AND YOu DON'T HAVE ANY HOPE.
BUT STILL, HERE YOu ARE: YOU'VE COME OVER TO ME, BANGED ON MY
DOOR, AND SAID, "HEY! STAYING ALIVE IS REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW!
JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO FIGHT WITHI I DON'T CARE IF IT'S
A STICK! GIVE ME A STICK AND I CAN STAY ALIVE!"
HOW IS THAT HELPLESS? I THINK THAT'S INCREDIBLE. YOU'RE LIKE
A MARINE: TRAPPED FOR YEARS BEHIND ENEMY LINES, YOUR GUN
HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY, YOU'RE OUT OF AMMO, YOU'RE
MALNOURISHED, AND YOU'VE PROBABLY CAIGHT SOME KIND OF
JUNGLE VIRUS THAT'S MAKING YOU HALLLICINATE GIANT SPIDERS
AND YOU'RE STILL JUST GOING, "GIVE ME A STICK.
I'M NOT DYING OUT HERE."
"A CRY FOR HELP" MAKES IT SOND LIKE I'M SuppOSED TO
AKE PITY ON YOu, BUT YOU DON'T NEED MY PITY THIS ISNT
PATHETIC. THIS IS THE WILL TO SURVIVE. THIS IS HOW HUMANS
LIVED LONG ENOIGH TO BECOME THE DOMINANT SPECIES.
WITH NO HOPE, RUNNING ON NOTHING, YOU'RE READY TO CLIT
THROUGH A HUNDRED MILES OF HOSTILE JUNGLE WITH NOTHING
BUT A STICK, IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO GET TO SAFETY
ALL IM DOING IS HANDING OUT STICKS
YOU'RE THE ONE STAYING ALIVE
I needed this.
Thank you to all the people who posted this so I ended up seeing it. I really needed this right now. Thank you!
Yeah… Not gonna lie… I cried…
We need more people like this
Goddamn it stop making me feel human
The therapist I wanna be.
Text in the image:
“I’m a therapist and keep this poster in my waiting room, apparently it’s saved a few lives.”
I don’t like the phrase “a cry for help.” I just don’t like how it sounds. When somebody says to me, “I’m thinking about suicide. I have a plan: I just need a reason not to do it,” the last thing I see is helplessness.
I think your depression has been beating you up for years. It’s called you ugly, and stupid, and pathetic, and a failure, for so long that you’ve forgotten that it’s wrong. You don’t see any good in yourself, and you don’t have any hope.
But still here you are: you’ve come over to me, banged on my door and said, “HEY! Staying alive is REALLY HARD right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don’t care if it’s a stick! Give me a stick and I can stay alive!”
How is that helpless? I think that’s incredible. You’re like a marine: trapped for years behind enemy lines. Your gun has been taken away, you’re out of ammo, you’re malnourished, and you’ve probably caught some kind of jungle virus that’s making you hallucinate giant spiders.
And you’re still just going, “GIVE ME A STICK. I’M NOT DYING OUT HERE.”“A cry for help” makes it sound like I’m supposed to take pity on you, but you don’t need my pity. This isn’t pathetic. This is the will to survive. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species.
With NO hope, running on NOTHING, you’re ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that’s what it takes to get to safety.
All I’m doing is handing out sticks.
You’re the one saying alive.
I legit cried at this. I’ve needed to hear it put this way. Bless this post.
Every time I see this post I stop to read the whole image. It always helps — even on the good days.
Because it wasn’t weakness. It wasn’t shameful to seek help. It wasn’t pathetic to “cry for help”. I was looking for a stick, be that from myself or from someone else. I was trying to find a way out. I was trying to heal myself.
this is fuckin incredible.
I’m sorry if I repost to many of these, but if it could be someone’s “stick” then it’s worth it
I needed this so much