That
That

That

For Her
For Her

For Her

Eates
Eates

Eates

annuale
 annuale

annuale

years
 years

years

year
 year

year

ifs
ifs

ifs

yours
yours

yours

ons
ons

ons

hardly
hardly

hardly

🔥 Popular | Latest

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: mens-rights-activia: expcake: heartsynth: sharkebutt: sharkebutt: Top three panels: feeding a baby human Bottom two panels: feeding a baby bird

mens-rights-activia: expcake: heartsynth: sharkebutt: sharkebutt: Top three panels: feeding a baby human Bottom two panels: feeding ...

Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.

theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversa...

Being Alone, Animals, and Dogs: HOW TO SWEAR AROUND THE WORLD VAFFANCULO CASSE-TOI! YUMAGO! BY JASON SACHER ILLUSTRATIONS BY TOBY TRIUMPH Perha human being, there happily copulates with animals in her and mean-spirited picture uld truly be reserved for moments of extreme anger. take kindly to the mental images that the phrases e the most obvious globally sho We as a species do not t below conjure. As you can imagine, insulting animal of choice to p have fun throwing a few more culturally specific ani consider the bears in Bulgaria, and reindeer (of c dogs ar air with a mother, but certain cultures imals in there BULGARIAN Mayka ti duha na mechki v gorata Your performs o performs oral sex upon bears in the forest." DUTCH Zoon van een hoerige kameel! Son of a camel whore!" With this insult, it's unclear whether one is saying the mother in question was a camel that was also a prostitute or a prostitute wh serviced camels. FINNISH Äitisi nai poroja! Your mother copulates with reindeer!" AOTIAN Ma see mea mung! Your mother enjoys keeping intimate company with dogs!" HOW TO SWEAR AROUND THE WORLD THE MOTHERLOD Fuck off uzendayo うぜーんだよ。 Motherfucker. kisama 貴様。 Asshole teme てめぇー。 Leave me the fuck alone. shitsukėndayo しつけ-んだよ。 I hate you. daikirai 大嫌い。 Ded na What did you just say!?! nandatö なんだと !?! Get out of my way. doke どけ。 Go to hell. shine 死ね。 Eat shit. kusokurae くそくらえ。 Shut the fuck up. ussendayo うっせ-んだよ。 What the fuck? ahoka アホか?! You're worthless. tsukaenė yatsu dana つかえねーやつだな。 eacefu ng. Just ent. My uS with a de. novelty-gift-ideas: How to Swear Around the World

novelty-gift-ideas: How to Swear Around the World

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Android, Apple, and Complex: Phoebe News @holiestbritney Then why do android snapchat stories look like surveillance tapes #KanyeForPresident @The. Man94 Apple giving y'all 12mpxl cameras in 2016 and Samsung gave us 16mpxl cameras in 2013 lol someone is getting duped 9/9/15, 2:54 PM 2,040 RETWEETS 1,646 FAVORITES drakeshady: I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer. Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’s camera directly to take a picture, ensuring the highest possible quality. On Android, Snapchat opens the camera, but then takes a screenshot, instead of telling the camera to take a picture. This means that the camera never gets to adjust it’s focus and lighting, or provide stabilization to the picture. Instead, you get the best that shaky human hands can get, which means low quality pictures. Due to the popularity of Snapchat, this difference actually spreads the superiority complex of iOS. Android manufacturers have been innovating new hardware since the creation of cell phones. Apple only upgrades when they’re worried about being seen as outdated, or they need “new features” to push their phone. It also shows that iPhones are a status symbol, that have no reason to be as expensive as they are. To be fair to Apple, they’ve built a consistent ecosystem. If you have an iPhone, you can pick up any other iPhone and know how it works. Android is different by design however, with literally anyone free to modify it as they want to. Whether that is to fit certain hardware, or add new features, or meet a specific artistic design, Android has more total devices, support for more hardware configurations (even laptops) and is available for anyone to use however they want. Snapchat made a deliberate poor design decision, and should shoulder the blame for their shitty app. But that would require supporting the largest userbase in the world over their elite base of iPhone users.

drakeshady: I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer. Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’...