🔥 Popular | Latest

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D : inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
Save
bscully: sneepysnape: roseverdict: 3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat: The look on her face when she realizes Transcript: A college-age woman with a microphone is interviewing a man on the street, likely a fellow student. Over the audio of them speaking, some background music is playing of the “something funny is about to happen, but for now things are calm” variety. Woman: What do you think about starting an initiative on campus, here at UK, to be more inclusive to women who have penises, and we can put urinals in the women’s restroom for them? Man: Sounds fantastic. Woman: Oh, is it? Man: Yeah. Woman: Okay, what about-? Let’s take it one step closer, y'know, more for inclusivity here on campus, about free tampons and pads in the men’s restroom for men who have periods? Man: Sounds great. Woman: Okayyy. You don’t see anything wrong with those statements? Man: No. Woman: What men do you know with periods? Man, overlapping slightly with Woman: -the general use ones, like at Willy T’s(?), I use ‘em pretty often- (transcriber couldn’t quite catch everything, sorry!) At this point the video freezes on a still of the woman, who’s in the middle of realizing she was trying to get transphobic answers out of a trans man the whole time, and is thoroughly gobsmacked. Flabbergasted, even. The background music picks up and could very well be a video game boss theme for a classical-music-themed boss. I don’t know the song, sadly. According to the notes, the song is Kira’s theme from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. End transcript. It’s not Willy T, I think it’s Building D! Either way, thanks for the transcript Tbh separated stalls, urinals, female hygiene products, baby-changing rooms and also bidets should be standard in all restrooms: bscully: sneepysnape: roseverdict: 3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat: The look on her face when she realizes Transcript: A college-age woman with a microphone is interviewing a man on the street, likely a fellow student. Over the audio of them speaking, some background music is playing of the “something funny is about to happen, but for now things are calm” variety. Woman: What do you think about starting an initiative on campus, here at UK, to be more inclusive to women who have penises, and we can put urinals in the women’s restroom for them? Man: Sounds fantastic. Woman: Oh, is it? Man: Yeah. Woman: Okay, what about-? Let’s take it one step closer, y'know, more for inclusivity here on campus, about free tampons and pads in the men’s restroom for men who have periods? Man: Sounds great. Woman: Okayyy. You don’t see anything wrong with those statements? Man: No. Woman: What men do you know with periods? Man, overlapping slightly with Woman: -the general use ones, like at Willy T’s(?), I use ‘em pretty often- (transcriber couldn’t quite catch everything, sorry!) At this point the video freezes on a still of the woman, who’s in the middle of realizing she was trying to get transphobic answers out of a trans man the whole time, and is thoroughly gobsmacked. Flabbergasted, even. The background music picks up and could very well be a video game boss theme for a classical-music-themed boss. I don’t know the song, sadly. According to the notes, the song is Kira’s theme from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. End transcript. It’s not Willy T, I think it’s Building D! Either way, thanks for the transcript Tbh separated stalls, urinals, female hygiene products, baby-changing rooms and also bidets should be standard in all restrooms
Save
jjsinterlude: insidiousink: hobbit-feels: badgyal-k: tiffanyaliyah: ukrindian: bae–electronica: dynastylnoire: jollylollylily: clarknokent: Bruh Yooooooo… Levels I wanna say Thats violation but that means he was gone send her that unwanted shit too 😂😂😂 black mirror season 4 Savage Oh wow This is super epic.  He was obnoxious to begin with, it is true, but if he moves forward in this wooing as a respectful dude, he will text her something nice like it was fun to meet her or maybe ask her on a date.  Mom will text him back and there will be a bit of confusion before he realizes what happened.  He’ll be a bit chagrined and mom will probably feel bad enough for him being rejected to make him cookies or something. HOWEVER If he starts in with that fuckboy shit (asking for sex right out the gate, dick picks, asking for nudes, etc.), he will learn the ultimate lesson.  In short, he is only fucked if he fucks himself. This is Greek Mythology levels of savage. #In which a man is in command of his destiny#And does not know it YOOOOOOOO : Sassafrantz @Sassafrantz Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls. 6/26/16, 7:03 PM 1,546 RETWEETS 3,519 LIKES jjsinterlude: insidiousink: hobbit-feels: badgyal-k: tiffanyaliyah: ukrindian: bae–electronica: dynastylnoire: jollylollylily: clarknokent: Bruh Yooooooo… Levels I wanna say Thats violation but that means he was gone send her that unwanted shit too 😂😂😂 black mirror season 4 Savage Oh wow This is super epic.  He was obnoxious to begin with, it is true, but if he moves forward in this wooing as a respectful dude, he will text her something nice like it was fun to meet her or maybe ask her on a date.  Mom will text him back and there will be a bit of confusion before he realizes what happened.  He’ll be a bit chagrined and mom will probably feel bad enough for him being rejected to make him cookies or something. HOWEVER If he starts in with that fuckboy shit (asking for sex right out the gate, dick picks, asking for nudes, etc.), he will learn the ultimate lesson.  In short, he is only fucked if he fucks himself. This is Greek Mythology levels of savage. #In which a man is in command of his destiny#And does not know it YOOOOOOOO
Save