Xox
Xox

Xox

Chris Simpsons
Chris Simpsons

Chris Simpsons

This Is A
This Is A

This Is A

Eat Healthy
Eat Healthy

Eat Healthy

Get The Fuck Out
Get The Fuck Out

Get The Fuck Out

This Is A Load Of Barnacles
This Is A Load Of Barnacles

This Is A Load Of Barnacles

Clever Titles
Clever Titles

Clever Titles

Single Taken
Single Taken

Single Taken

revengeance
 revengeance

revengeance

say yes
 say yes

say yes

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Lawyer, Love, and Shoes: the funniest thing in the entire pirates of one scene in At World's End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it and rather then have him stand in thhe shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it who thought of that idea? who thought put davy jones in a bucket of water and had the guts to suggest aloud? and then who went "hey that sounds at some point someone toid davy janes bucket of water and he agreed to it tis ok but notice the trail of buckets behind before he got into the one hes standing It's even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the Some folic are asking wel, if he can avaid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn't that ruin his whole motvation?" but he's not on The parley takes place on a sandbar the shore, that spends most of its time What Jones is doing here is rules- the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this "Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the share below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoas? What if Does it have to be seawater, ar will ay water do? Does it have to be a natural Pretty sure that this implies that the the water toig bucket with just a bit of sand), would quaify as dry land. That's absurd, so I'm pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse It may be absurd, but the text of the fitm bears it out Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it's a sea, but not whie it's on land indeed that's why he buried it on land in the first place to break his connection with it)-yet placing the heart n a simplo jar land does, aven ifth0 jar is a boat at filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jonescrse Then the reverse should aso be true. i he buried it in a jer of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to senso it. So by this logia, any container a curse than it is to weasel around i-I figune that's why he's using multple forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it's technically not dry land (it's a exposed only at low tide) and he technicaly ddn't set foot on it thes standing in a bucker of wateri. It's ckay but this all raises one further, very dry land he's forbidden from, what can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he trow down in a pear This is the quality content I come to could he step ฉn land if his shoes are No matter how ridiculous PotC gets l will love it. Especially when it results in What it he crawis around on his hands and inees, with his teet raised slightly nto the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air baloon, or in the clews of a giant Whar it hes carried by two swaliows In fact im not entirely sure thalt it wasnt At Wit’s End

At Wit’s End

Advice, America, and Bones: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti forced a bot to watch over 1,O00 hours of Hallmark Christmas movies and then asked it to write a Hallmark Christmas movie of its own. Here is the first page. THE CHRISTMAS ON CHRISTMAS INT. SMALL TOWN SNON GLOBE REFILLERY We gee a SINGLE MOTHER refilling snow globes with chriotmas uice. She is widow. Her husband died in every war SINGLE MOTHER I refili globes better than Jesus Claus, yet still my twins are dad- free. Why? They need double dad BUSINESS MAN enter the shop. He wears clothes that cost money. His hands are briefcases, and he Hallmark hot SINGLE MOTHER (CONT D) Hİ. Do your now globes lack wet? Hurry. Christmess attacks soon Business Man has flashback to when he was Business Boy. A Christmas tree explodes his family on purpose. He now hates trees and Christmas and explosions. He exits the flashback BUSINESS MAN Shut your cound! I am from Hugo city. I bought your land and am turning it into an oil resort. SINGLE MOTHER Rude behavior! This is a family buainess. I sell families. I an id y husband is now bones. Single Mother points to her husband's bones in the corner of the room. They are all giftwrapped in eggnog BUSINESS MAN All of my wives are bones! That is America. But I must make money for my twins to live. They are a prince SINGLE MOTHER I too own twins. Please, don't have bought my land. Christmas is today BUSINESS MAN Laugh, I bought Christmas and now it is never. Unless we go on dates SINGLE MOTHER I cannot date because of a snow curse. I pray santa helps ne. Santa cannot help. She did not know but Santa was her husband. Santa is bones. Bones help nobody advice-animal: Christmas Is Bones. Bones don’t give

advice-animal: Christmas Is Bones. Bones don’t give

America, Bones, and Christmas: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti forced a bot to watch over 1,O00 hours of Hallmark Christmas movies and then asked it to write a Hallmark Christmas movie of its own. Here is the first page. THE CHRISTMAS ON CHRISTMAS INT. SMALL TOWN SNON GLOBE REFILLERY We gee a SINGLE MOTHER refilling snow globes with chriotmas uice. She is widow. Her husband died in every war SINGLE MOTHER I refili globes better than Jesus Claus, yet still my twins are dad- free. Why? They need double dad BUSINESS MAN enter the shop. He wears clothes that cost money. His hands are briefcases, and he Hallmark hot SINGLE MOTHER (CONT D) Hİ. Do your now globes lack wet? Hurry. Christmess attacks soon Business Man has flashback to when he was Business Boy. A Christmas tree explodes his family on purpose. He now hates trees and Christmas and explosions. He exits the flashback BUSINESS MAN Shut your cound! I am from Hugo city. I bought your land and am turning it into an oil resort. SINGLE MOTHER Rude behavior! This is a family buainess. I sell families. I an id y husband is now bones. Single Mother points to her husband's bones in the corner of the room. They are all giftwrapped in eggnog BUSINESS MAN All of my wives are bones! That is America. But I must make money for my twins to live. They are a prince SINGLE MOTHER I too own twins. Please, don't have bought my land. Christmas is today BUSINESS MAN Laugh, I bought Christmas and now it is never. Unless we go on dates SINGLE MOTHER I cannot date because of a snow curse. I pray santa helps ne. Santa cannot help. She did not know but Santa was her husband. Santa is bones. Bones help nobody Christmas Is Bones. Bones don’t give

Christmas Is Bones. Bones don’t give