🔥 Popular | Latest

Brains, Club, and Crazy: Why Men And Women Think Differently. This Guy Nails It. Women are much more complicated than men. Men are very simple. And you know why? It's because their brains are so different. First, I want to start with men. Men's brains are very unique. Most women don't realize that whether we are having sex or watching sports, our brains are made up of little boxes. We've got a box for everything. We've got a box for the car. We've got a box for the money We've got a box for the job. We've got a box for you We've got a box for the kids. We've got a box for your mother somewhere in the basement. We've got boxes everywhere. And the rule is: the boxes don't touch. When a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in THAT BOX. And then we close the box and put it away being very, very careful not to touch other boxes. Now women's brains are very, very different from men's brains. Women's brains are made up of a big ball of wire. And everything is connected to everything. The money is connected to the car and the car is connected to your job and your kids are connected to your mother and everythingisallconnected. It's like the internet superhighway, and it's all driven by energy that we call emotion. It's one of the reasons why women tend to remember...everything. Because if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion and it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever. The same thing happens for men. It just doesn't happen very often, because quite frankly...we don't care. Women tend to care about everything. And she just loves it. Now men, we have a box in our brain that most women are not aware of. This particular box has nothing in it. In fact, we call it the 'nothing box.' And of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the 'nothing box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance, he'll go to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can do something seemingly completely brain dead for hours on end. You know, like fishing. Now they've actually measured this. The University of Pennsylvania a couple of years ago did a study and discovered that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing, and still breathe. Women can't do it. Their mind has never stopped. And they don't understand the 'nothing box, and it drives them CRAZY because nothing drives a woman more crazy and makes them feel more irritated than to watch a man doing nothing. laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

Save
Christmas, Church, and Fire: writing-prompt-s Your church-going, God-worshipping sister adopted a small child and you re excited to see them. But when you do, the child is a menace. They're throwing things everywhere, setting furniture on fire with seemingly nothing, chanting in Latin to summon demons, but the weirdest thing is that your sister doesn't seem to mind mababees "You literally adopted the antichrist, Anne. What the fuck." "Yeah, I knew when I saw him at the orphanage. I figured if the kid had some decent fucking parenting that we could avoid the whole 'Revelations' shite. Nasty business, that." George, who's name has been kindly changed from Damien, approaches his new mother with a huge spider in his hands. It promptly bursts into flames. "Good job, love. Now go find the rest." George's face makes no expression, but his eyes shine when he recieves a pat on the head for his efforts. talieclandestine As the months go by, George seems to settle down. He adjusts to school, friends, and the positive reinforcement Anne gives him. She encourages the good he does, even though the powers he uses aren't "good". When she gets calls from the school, it's about a rambunctious boy that won't sit still. Not a destroyer of the world and innocence. It's at Christmas dinner, that you let slip your amazement to your mother. How good Anne is for him and how he's improved a lot. Still summoning hellhounds for games of fetch, though "Oh, he'll forget how to do that when he falls in love the first time," Your mother laughs, smiling wide. "How do you know that," you ask bewildered "Because, you did The Story of the Antichrist
Save
Save
Apparently, Children, and Christmas: awkward. @howtobeprada imagine if you called the wrong number and "mom?" "no this is Morgan freeman" Reply Retweet Favorite voroxpete: arctic-hands: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before. But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started. Seriously, this is legit. In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted. Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line. And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no. Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says. “This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says. The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ” His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying. “And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.” “It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says. And then, it got better. “The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says. “And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says. “Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says. For real. “And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.” “Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.” So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time. Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
Save