🔥 Popular | Latest

Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Save
Facebook, Tumblr, and Shark: oceansoftheworld: (Photos by Sean Scott)Bronze whaler sharks at Red Bluff on Quobba Station in Western Australia.

oceansoftheworld: (Photos by Sean Scott)Bronze whaler sharks at Red Bluff on Quobba Station in Western Australia.

Save
God, Head, and Oh My God: Instructions: YOU MATCHED WITH ON 11/05/2019 ose any topic and I'll give you a pick up line related to it 1) You add potatoes to medium pot & fill with water until all potatoes are covered and static Yesterday 15:11 2) Only season with salt as extra nando's creamy mash x 3) Use the hob to bring to the boil & reduce to a simmer until potatoes are tender. After roughly 15 minutes remove heat from pan Yesterday 18:17 Ingredients: 500g Gold Potatoes (peeled and chopped into large chunks) 1/2 stick unsalted butter,+2 tablespoons, divided 1/2 head of garlic (cloves smashed) 1/3 cup warm heavy cream 14 cup sour cream 14 tsp. salt 4) After, melt butter on a low heat or semi 5) Remove as milk solids rise to the top. Be careful as these may 6) Easily add garlic & cook on low for 15 minutes then remove the garlic area Instructions: 7) Visibly check potatoes and drain thoroughly so they are not too thiclk 1) You add potatoes to medium pot & fill with water until all potatoes are covered and static 8) Essentially, while potatoes are hot, pass through a potato ricer and add back to pot above 2) Only season with salt as extra for you 8) Essentially, while potatoes are hot, pass through a potato ricer and add back to pot above 12) Upon transferring to a serving dish, melt remaining butter too 9) Rinse in melted butter, salt, heavy cream & sour cream carefully 13) Time to pour over potatoes then garnish with paprika, just like on the menu 10) Yielding a hand held mixer beat the potatoes on high until potatoes are smooth and fluffy also 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great treat Read the first letter of each of the 14 instructions from the Nando's creamy mash recipe 11) Carefully season with salt and pepper, with the perfect amount Yesterday 23:45 12) Upon transferring to a serving dish, melt remaining butter too oh my god that's amazing 13) Time to pour over potatoes then garnish with paprika, just like on the menu Today 05:49 Now read the last letter of each of the 14 instructions 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great treat Read the first letter of each of the 14 instructions from the Nando's creamy mash recipe Today 08:59 after that, yeah you can The effort I put into this seemed to pay off

The effort I put into this seemed to pay off

Save
America, Arguing, and Ass: kayla renee Follow @kaybaeparker Long story short, I got my racist Professor fired mid semester after she tried to sabotage me. Then I wrote about it RETWEETS LIKES 682 1,368 Imani Gandy e @AngryBlackLady Follow Dear white people: Allyship is more than wearing a safety pin or tweeting Black Lives Matter. If you read one thing today, make it this. kayla renee @kaybaeparker Long story short, I got my racist Professor fired mid semester after she tried to sabotage me. Then I wrote about it medium.com/@kaybaeparker/ RETWEETS LIKES 719 1,303 princessnijireiki: corvussy: saturnineaqua: ghettablasta: Kayla Renee Parker shared her story of how she managed to expose her racist teacher who appeared to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “She wears a safety pin so everyone knows she’s an ally for minorities. Her cover photo has a Black power fist. She regularly discusses her love for the Obamas, the Black Lives Matter Movement, and her admonishment for this current administration.” However, it wasn’t enough to hide her racism.  It all started with a simple question from a test. The question stated,  “Historical research on African-American families during slavery shows that: A) Family ties weren’t important in African cultures where the slaves ancestors originated; consequently, family bonds were never strong among slaves. B) Two-parent families were extremely rare during the slave period. C) Black family bonds were destroyed by the abuses of slave owners, who regularly sold off family members to other slave owners. D) Most slave families were headed by two parents. So, obviously, Kayla chose C. And it was incorrect. According to the teacher, the right answer was D. The argument started when Kayla wrote her an email and respectfully provided the professor the evidence, even directly from their textbook. “However, my Professor continued to argue that family bonds were not destroyed and that 2/3 of slave families were headed by two parents.” The teacher cited Herbert Gutman, sociologist, who died in 1985 and surely took part in the whitewashing of Black history. When they met to discuss the subject in person the professor gave Kayla books to read adding such statements as, “This book would be good for you to read. I believe it’s $6 so I could buy it for you if you’d like.” The stated that she spent her whole life fighting for minorities and something like “I’ve got Black friends.”  When the girl was proving her opinion, she heard more comments as, “You’re talking to someone who has spent their entire life fighting for people of diversity and marched with my Black brothers and sisters.” As the result, the teacher asked Kayla to lecture the class on the topic and that was her fatal mistake. Kayla took all her courage and made a presentation on the topic she was passionate about. She defended Black people and Black history. Here’s her presentation. That was the point where the story should end, but NO. The professor obviously forgot about privacy settings on Facebook and posted offensive comments about Kayla. The professor’s last words to Kayla were: This time The University of Tennessee stood up for the student. In July the teacher officially retiring from the university. This is fucking insane. The last paragraph of kaya’s story is everything: To my Professor, I forgive you for robbing me of my focus last semester. I forgive you for calling my Father, a graduate of Yale Medical School, “educationally challenged.” I even forgive you for threatening me. However, I do not forgive you for being willfully ignorant to the subjects you teach students. I also do not forgive you for claiming to be an ally. An ally is so much more than wearing a safety pin. It also requires that you listen to the needs of Black people and respect the issues that we raise. When a Black student raises a concern over the way you are portraying her history, referring to all you’ve done for Black people doesn’t change the fact that you’re portraying slavery as some kind of slavery lite. As an educator and as an ally, you are not expected to know everything but this does not abdicate you from the responsibility of always continuing to learn- even from your students. Additionally, if you wanted to actually help Black men and women, you’d value our words. Unfortunately, your actions simply mirror how America values Black people in today’s society. This Black girl is a hero who overcame her fear and faced her teacher defending Black people and Black history.  #StayWoke #BlackPride #StopRacists this is why…white women…cant teach black people, or people of color as a whole. White supremacy has a long history of setting up white women to destroy people of color namely black and native people) via education.  I was going through my old likes and decided to see if there was any updates in this story. The professor was arrested for assaulting Kayla in a grocery store but the charges were dismissed by a judge on the condition Morelock has no further contact with Kayla I couldn’t find any more recent news on Kayla than what was said in the second link, but I sincerely hope she wasn’t in any way negatively impacted because of the situation with Morelock, especially since the second link says there were multiple other faculty members that defended Morelock… this is why I do not and never will like white educators. Morelock also continues to post about Kayla on her public Facebook, but (probably for ongoing legal reasons) still can’t or won’t name her directly. You can’t underestimate people’s hatefulness the depth of their vindictive and petty fixations out here— even especially people in a position of power over you with the potential to harm you, “ally” or no. And Kayla seems to be doing well! Her FB page says she became a Director at Amnesty International, and has just moved forward to become a Canvass Director for Care.org. Folks will try to block your blessings and drag you down to their hater-ass level in the mud, but you gotta fight keep on shining. ☀️
Save
Target, Tumblr, and Vision: Ppl will go to the library and pull out their laptop, textbook, agenda, multicoloured pens, 2 calculators and a large coffee just to sit there like this for 2 hours carpeted: beyoncescock: pepethefrogblog: beyoncescock: this is me pretending to do homework when im really scrolling through tumblr while taking random quizzes like how much common sense do you have which i dont need to take cause i probably have none nice self burn now where do you get those stupid quizzes cause i need something to distract me from my research paper im in class and i productively gathered my fave quizzes for you instead of listening to my professor ramble about machine learning How much common sense do you actually have?** (i got 8/11) Take this vision test and we’ll guess what color your eyes are These 18 questions will tell you what dog breed you’re compatible with** Your choice of words will determine what age you belong to We can guess your soulmate’s name based on these questions about your exes What nationality are you according to your personality?** Can we guess where you actually live? Most Americans can’t score 10/12 on this state geography test. Can you? Only 1% of people can name these everyday things** (i got 8/18) Can we guess where you grew up based on your taste in snacks? Take this test to see how you’ll most likely die** **my favorites picks rihannna just in case

carpeted: beyoncescock: pepethefrogblog: beyoncescock: this is me pretending to do homework when im really scrolling through tumblr whil...

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: artist-varo: Sympathy, 1955, Remedios Varo Medium: oil,masonite

artist-varo: Sympathy, 1955, Remedios Varo Medium: oil,masonite

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Canvas: actualmilk: graynard: artist-repin: Portrait of general and statesman Mikhail Ivanovich Dragomirov, 1889, Ilya Repin Medium: oil,canvas nah man thats dr phil

actualmilk: graynard: artist-repin: Portrait of general and statesman Mikhail Ivanovich Dragomirov, 1889, Ilya Repin Medium: oil,canvas ...

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Canvas: artist-polenov: An Olive Tree in the Garden of Gethsemane, 1882, Vasily Polenov Medium: oil,canvas

artist-polenov: An Olive Tree in the Garden of Gethsemane, 1882, Vasily Polenov Medium: oil,canvas

Save
Save
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Save
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Save
Tumblr, Blog, and Canvas: artist-schiele: The Blind, 1913, Egon SchieleMedium: oil,canvas

artist-schiele: The Blind, 1913, Egon SchieleMedium: oil,canvas

Save
Animals, Beautiful, and Disney: Timeless classics disney shouldn't ruin DUMB0 LIO JungleBook underrated action packed disney movies perfect for live action adaptations I REASuru celticpyro: Good point. A lot of the problem with the movies Disney is remaking as “live action’ is that they’re not MEANT to be live action. Many of them had a distinct use of art style, talking animals, and visual elements that simply don’t look as nice in a hyperrealistic medium no matter how well you apply special effects. And a lot of elements are so fantastical that you’d need copius amounts of CGI to replicate it in ‘real’ life but you still wouldn’t get the same feel. The digitally-rendered animals in The Lion King look awkward. Dumbo looks nightmarish with his humanlike eyes. Beauty and the Beast felt lackluster with its dull realism instead of the saturated animation. Now, Atlantis and Treasure Planet would work brilliantly in a realistic medium because it deals with mostly-human characters and visual effects in those movies would transition flawlessly into live action. The alien creatures of Treasure Planet, the pirate’s ships and technology would look beautiful if rendered into realism. Atlantis would work even better with an all-human cast and their technology, and it’d doubly work as a chance to cast nonwhite actors into lead roles.

celticpyro: Good point. A lot of the problem with the movies Disney is remaking as “live action’ is that they’re not MEANT to be live actio...

Save