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Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
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Anaconda, Ass, and Bad: 100%-12:12 did-you-kno did you know? On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop. There's an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that says wizards didn't need toilets because they 'simply relieved themselves where they stood and vanished the evidence. On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop. There's an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that says wizards didn't need toilets because they 'simply relieved themselves where they stood, and vanished the evidence. Source Source 2 i fucking hate jk rowling so much because years and years after this franchise has ended she is still continuing trying to make it bad to the point where she said that every character in harry potter canonically shits themselves and then casts a shit vanishing spell zahnegott fuck this is b a d mutant-aesthetic This reminds me of the huffepuff group masturbation tweets The what? Turtie Feinstein 09 dan JK Rowling Does Hogwarts have sex ed classes? J.K. Rowling rowing Follo MoaningTurtle Unfortunately no. Wizards tend to be a little more conservative with such things (1/3) 4、 다2,835 ★6222 J.K. Rowling Follo MoaningTurtie Of course, like all teens, they eventually figure things out and experiment with their sexuality (2/3) J.K. Rowling Folow MoaningTurtle For example, group masturbation sessions are exceedingly common in the Hogwarts dormitories, particularly Hufflepuff C3/3) 1,833 4,82 Just imagine you're taking a test for potions with Snape and the guy sitting next to you just fucking shits himself the nastiest slimiest shit of his life out of stress. And you literally have to sit there with a straight face while fuckin Todd Jinglelangles cleans himself up in the dead quiet room with some stupid ass line like "vanish me poopum" and you just gotta live with the knowledge that some kid just shit himself beside you duringa fucking test urulokid how do you delete someone elses post crylie I am in tears Joe what the fuck did you make me read This gotta be fake They literally have bathrooms in Hogwarts like theyre pretty important to the plot too did jk just forget about that? The bathroom where mystle lives (she literally dives into a toilet)? The prefects bathroom? How can she claim theres no bathrooms??? this post gave me mesothelioma and I feel entitled to compensation thebibliosphere lpot to "vanish me poopum" and lost my mind. I've been cry laughing for about five minutes. Source: didyouknowblog.com 205,228 notes fecesious disapperius
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Bones, Deer, and Family: You xxpurpleshadowsxx whoopsrobots l figured I'd put up a list of all the weird crap l've found aroung home as a kid 1. When I was six, a mummified hairless cat just sort of appeared by the house. I had to jump over it wheneverI went anywhere. Nobody moved it, it was just there for a few months and then it disappeared 2. There was a cow head just laying out back for a while. I think my gramma was feeding it to the chickens. I fucking hate the chickens 3. Every Halloween, my mom would send me to the dead pile to get bones to scatter around the yard for decorations. I never really realized it was weird that we had things called 'dead piles', but there you go 4. My brain went fuzzy during a family barbecue and I don't know what to tell you but left for twenty minutes and came back with four other girls wearing cow pelvises and tubing as armour and claiming myself to be the mighty lord magnet-tron 5. I found a kayak in the forest once. I brought it home, but my gramma stole it 6. Found a cracked fish tank buried under a tree once. I took it home, but my gramma stole it 7. There's a lot of bathtubs in the forest and I don't know why 8. Someone left a deer head on the porch once. Not sure why Just the whole head, cut off at the neck. That was odd 9. There's just these... Weird, powdery chunks of.. I dunno, something. Just buried all over. I don't know if they're soft rocks or what 10. Some friends and I found something big and dead inside a garbage bag under a log, once. We told an adult but they said not to worry about it so we sort of let it go. It's been nine years and nobody's questioned it 11. Our rooster killed itself. Not sure how, but it did 12. A bird carried my cat away when I was 7 and nobody told me so l spent 6 weeks looking for it. I only found half. 13. There's a lot of skulls 14. There's a spot out back where kitchen appliances just show up. I found a wok, a toaster, a toaster oven, and two sinks so far 15. A bunch of porn was just.. In the woods. DVDs. And a couple bible on-casette albums. 3 pairs of prescription glasses. Someone was into some weird shit, I guess 16. Sometimes the air smells like death and my mom just goes, 'think it was something big? And I have to go find it 17. My gramma keeps collecting toilets and 4 foot tall solid wooden lawn gnomes and decorating the driveway with them 18. Every once and a while the sky just doesn't go all the way dark at night and I've stopped questioning it whoopsrobots Okay I don't know how this got so popular al of a sudden, but I've gotten a lot of messages asking if I live in Nightvale or a supernatural episode and I feel the need to clarify that while some of this stuff is kinda freaky my town is actually a rather pleasant place to live. I mean, there's the ocassional imploded fence and something in the forest that whistles back, but we get some lovely sunsets and the sheep don't bite 142,417 notes Hmm spooky
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Animals, Bad, and Cars: 366 WTNT41 KNHC 102055 TCDAT1 Hurricane Florence Discussion Number 46 NWS National Hurricane Center Miami FL 500 PM AST Mon Sep 10 2018 AL062018 Unfortunately, the models were right. Florence has rapidly intensifled into an extremely dangerous hurricane, with 30-second GOES-16 visible imagery showing well-defined eyewall mesovortices rotating inside of the eye. A NOAA Hurricane Hunter aircraft found peak SFMR winds of about 120 kt, with flight-level winds and dropsonde measurements also supporting that value for the initial wind speed estimate. Notably, the aircraft data also show the size of the hurricane-force winds has doubled in the past 12 hours thehmarie1089: your-reference-here: This is from the forecast discussion of Major Hurricane Florence from this afternoon. As a meteorologist, when I saw this, my heart sank. They don’t use wording like this for every storm. Florence is going to be a devastating. There will be huge amounts of flooding, both from inland rain and from costal storm surge. Winds are going to be some of the strongest you can get from a hurricane. People within the path of this storm could lose everything. If you know anyone who lives on the North or South Carolina coast, tell them that if there’s an evacuation ordered, they need to get the hell out. Do not take chances with this one. Reblogging again to add a list of things/essentials from a friend who lives on the NC coast and has weathered hurricanes and other bad weather: - toiletries (paper towels, toilet paper, baby wipes for “bathing” in case power water go out) - water, 1 gallon per person for at least 7 days (err on the side of caution if possible); more if you have animals!! - non perishable food items, if you get canned food make sure you have a can OPENER - pet food supplies, if you’re really worried about flooding it may be beneficial to get life vests for your pets, also find a way to put identification information on them! - batteries - flashlights - battery packs for cell phones charged up in case of loss of power - filled cars with gas filled gas can(s) - get all essentials like passports, important docs, and cherished items together ready to go - just in case, determine a way to get onto your roof safely - fill bathtubs with water so if water isn’t available you can refill the toilets to keep flushing and keep waste to a minimum - if you have dogs look up how to make a makeshift potty, you can use a hard baby pool and some sod potentially - check your prescriptions and get them refilled now if necessary - if you’re taking insulin and lose power, fill a separate cooler for your insulin than the one you would use for food. Insulin food If your place begins to flood get the hell OUT of the water!!! There is no telling if you have a live electrical charge in there! Do not cross any water you cannot see the bottom of the ground in. I’m serious. Read up on flash floods and common safety tips.

thehmarie1089: your-reference-here: This is from the forecast discussion of Major Hurricane Florence from this afternoon. As a meteorologis...

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Being Alone, Children, and Dating: Logan Trent @TheLoganTrent Follow Millennials are killing the golf industry Business Insider Millennials are obsessed with the style of life'- and it's killing retailers Millennials are killing the movie business I New York Post Millennials are Killing the Golf Industry - the BLITZ agency blog Will The Millennial Generation Kill Home Depot? - Forbes Millennials are killing relationships and we should be concerned Take Two | Are millennials killing the running trend? Maybe. | 89.3 KPCC Are Millennials Killing Wine? An exposé. | Quench Magazine "Promiscuous" Millennials Are Killing McDonald's: Gothamist How Millennials Lack Of Manners Is Killing Class Unwritten Millennials Are Killing Off Paper Napkins | Mclntyre in the Morning Are Millennials Killing The Car Industry? | DrivingSales News Here's HoW Millennials Have Killed Crowfunding | Bossip Are Millennials Killing Credit? Top Rated High Risk Merchant RETWEETS LIKES 130 102 2:14 PM 23 Aug 2016 130102 cornerof5thandvermouth: haiku-robot: tardis-in-a-moonbeam: zooophagous: ralfmaximus: princeloki: f1rstperson: Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off let me tell you about golf i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world let the golf industry burn There are 15,500+ golf courses in the United States alone.  Each one consumes ~312,000 gallons of water per day. That consumption is equivalent to 55+ million humans per day in the United States… roughly 1/6 the entire population. We simply cannot sustain this frivolity, especially for something 99% of us will never use. Destroy golf courses and plant wild grasses and butterfly bushes in their place. Mmm wild blackberries would be great They used to be all around before recent land development here they used to be all around before recent land development here ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon Out where I am we’ve been turning defunct golf courses into public parks and nature trails after letting them overgrow a bit. It’s nice! You get a lot of interesting successional species as the land is reclaimed, and it’s great birdwatching territory.

cornerof5thandvermouth: haiku-robot: tardis-in-a-moonbeam: zooophagous: ralfmaximus: princeloki: f1rstperson: Glad to see my lifelong...

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