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Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA TRACKER SAVED A LIFE This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut. I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just break it off Wrong One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck The Pizza Tracker Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza ORDER MENU COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO This is where the night got interesting. I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch. We had just entered stage 2. Prep. KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2 By the end of my thought, the door swung open Guess who Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven) She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE FUCK DOWN!! She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use. I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me STAGE 41 BOX FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day 10 more minutes go by Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again. Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too. THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE PIZZA MA THEMETAPICTURECOM srsfunny:Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
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Ass, Head, and Love: chuckmanx: tatertitans: lgbtlaughs: A bakery is facing legal action because it refused to write anti-gay comments on a cake for a customer The customer bringing the claim against Azucar Bakery in Denver, Colorado, says he was the victim of ‘religious discrimination’ because they wouldn’t adorn cakes with the words ‘God hates gays’, and draw a picture of two men holding hands with a red cross above it. Owner Marjorie Silva called the requests of Bill Jack ‘discriminatory and hateful’ and refused to decorate the cakes, saying: ‘We never refuse service. We did feel that it was not right for us to write hateful words or pictures against human beings.’ She did, however, offer to make Mr Jack the cakes and sell him some icing so her could decorate them himself. Mr Jack was not satisfied with this response, telling a local news station he was being ‘discriminated against by the bakery based on my creed’. He has filed a complaint with the Department of Regulatory Agencies, which have now placed the bakery under investigation, and could refer the complaint to the Colorado Civil Rights Commission if they feel that Mr Jack was being discriminated against. Mr Jack is the head of the Worldview Academy, an organisation that exists to help people ‘think and live in accord with a Biblical worldview’. Since the incident Ms Silva has received praise and support from people throughout the world who have contacted her via email. Guys please spread this, I live here and I love this cake shop so much and would hate to see it get closed for something like this. The cakes there are absolutely phenomenal, and they even have gay and lesbian wedding cake toppers, and is the only cake store that has those in all of Denver, Golden, and Lakewood. Please don’t let this cake shop close. Friendly Christian Reminder: Saying “God Hates” is a violation of most of the New Testament. See also John 3:16-17, for starters. Numerous mentions of “God is love”. Saying that you are without sin is a bold-faced lie; see Psalm 130 and Romans 3:20. Passing judgement onto another person is a no-no; see Mathew 7:1-5. Loving thy neighbor is one of the two most important commandments; Mark 12:31. And that your ‘neighbor’ isn’t always another Christian; see Luke 10:25-37. In short, stop using my religion to justify you being an ass-hat, Ass-hat.
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Bodies , Fire, and Frozen: Yuri Doroshenko Lyudmila Dubinina gor Dyatlov Alexander Zinaida Kolmogorova Kolevatov Yuri Krivonischenko Rustem Slobodin Nikolai Thibeaux- Semyon Zolotaryov Yuri Yudin* lostcrimeprincess: The Dyatlov Pass Incident occurred in the Ural mountains of Russia nearly 60 years ago. 9 experienced hikers were found frozen in the snow with unusual injuries and even more unusual circumstances surrounding their deaths.A hiking group from the Ural PolyTechnical institute, lead by Igor Dyatlov, were hiking to Ortem, a category three hiking trip(the most difficult) The trip was no worry to the hikers(originally 8 men and 2 women) as they were all experienced hikers and skiers.Before they set out on what would be the last leg of their journey one of the men, Yuri Yudin, did not feel well and had to leave early. This illness would save his life.The group of 9 set up camp on the base of the mountain called Kholat Syakhl, also known as “Dead Mountain) in Mansi. It is unknown why they camped on the slope and not down near the forest where they would have more shelter from the elements. By the next morning all the hikers would be dead. Some of the bodies wuld not be found for 3 months.Here is where their deaths become a mystery. It was determined they froze to death(6) or died of fatal injuries(3) however their bodoes were scattered up to 3000 meters from their tent, which had been cut open from the inside. Yuri Krivonischenko and Yuri Doreschenko were found 2000 meters down the hill huddled together with a dead fire. Branches on the tree they were under were broken up to 5 meters high suggesting one of them climbed up the tree. They were both shoe less and only in their underwear. Between the cedar tree and the camp the bodies of Igor Dyatlov,  Zinaida Kolomogorova, and Rustem Slobodin were found in positions suggesting they tried to return to the camp. All of these bodies were found February 26, 1959.It wasn’t until May 6 that year that the last four hikers would be found dead under 4 meters of snow in a ravine 2075 meters away from the tent. Lyudmilla Dubinina had been found face down in the ravine missing her tongue, lips, and eyes. She had also sustained a major chest fracture along with Zolotaryov, though neither had bruising on their bodies or soft tissue to suggest anything causing the fracture. Thibeaux-Brignolles had also sustained a major skull fracture. The injuries Thibeaux-Brignolles, Zolotaryov, and Dubinina sustained that lead to their deaths were made with a force as strong as a car crash said  Dr. Boris Vozrozhdenny when asked.  Those who had died first had relinquished their clothing to the other as Zolotaryov was wearing Dubinina’s faux fur coat.The nine hikers were the only people on the mountain that night, they had all died within 6-8 hours of their last meal, and they all left the tent by their own accord. Some hikers camping on a mountain a few kilometers away reported seeing strange orange orbs in the sky that night and the last picture on Krioneschenko’s camera showed some blurry orbs. It was also reported that at the funerals for the hikers their bodies held a deep tan, an almost orange one. Ultimately their death was ruled to be caused by an unknown force and may remain a mystery forever. 

lostcrimeprincess: The Dyatlov Pass Incident occurred in the Ural mountains of Russia nearly 60 years ago. 9 experienced hikers were found ...

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Fire, Head, and Puns: 00, 285 and ed the popula T 383), "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said dolehtu "I dropped the toothpaste," Tom said, crestfallen. "We don't have a homerun hitter," Tom said ruthlessly "I keep shocking myself," said Tom, revolted "My steering wheel won't turn," Tom said straightforwardly iThat's the last time I pet a lion," Tom said offhandedly "I'll dig another ditch around the castle," Tom said remotely i "I shouldn't sleep on railroad tracks," said Tom, beside himselfi "I've lost a lot of weight," Tom expounded. "I keep banging my head on things," Tom said bashfully. "I'lI have to telegraph him again," Tom said remorsefully “I can't get down from the mountain." Tom alleged. "Let's play a C, E, and G," said Tom's band, in accord. "You call this a musical?" asked Les miserably "I must make the fire hotter!" Tom bellowed. i i mothmanismyuncle: american-auror-story: jellyfish-blob: quiteawfulpretty: he-wants-the-221d: sweethoneysempai: smarsupial: womandrogyne: I am so aroused right now Oh I know some folks who will get this much faster than I did. @misshoneywheeler @aliceofalonso my favorite pundits. Tag urself im “I keep bashing my head on things,” Tom said bashfully We had to make some of these up for our standardised state testing. “You call this a musical?” I’m SCREAMINF i was halfway through before i realized these were puns i am so mad This was fun to read the first time through before you realized anything It was INCREDIBLE the second time and you realize how blind you were the first time IM SOBBIN HOLY FUCKIN SHIT
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Honda, Nsfw, and Tumblr: HD / 35:03 reverendharlemheat: grampyre: Veggietales ASMR (NSFW) this is the first thing you see after spending eight hours hogtied in the trunk of a ‘97 honda accord

reverendharlemheat: grampyre: Veggietales ASMR (NSFW) this is the first thing you see after spending eight hours hogtied in the trunk of ...

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Click, cnn.com, and Donald Trump: BUSINESS INSIDER UK POLITICS Trump has reportedly decided to withdraw from the Paris climate deal Peter Jacobs and Rebecca Harrington 011h 2,958 FACEBOOK in LINKEDIN TWITTER EMAIL PRINT President Donald Trump has decided to take the US out of the Paris climate accord, Jonathan Swan of the news website Axios first reported Wednesday, citing two sources Politico and CNN are also reporting that Trump intends to pull out of the agreement, citing White House officials. A White House representative didn't immediately respond to a request or comment. President Donald Trump speaking at Snap-On Tools on April 18 in Whether Trump will stay in the Kenosha, Wisconsin. AP deal -a cornerstone of President Barack Obama's environmental legacy - has been a looming question of his nascent presidency. On his recent trip abroad, Trump was pressured by European allies to stay a part of the accord. INDEPENDENT ews voices Sports Calture Indy/life Tech Daily Earton News World>Americas >US politics Elon Musk quits as Trump adviser over Paris Agreement withdrawal: 'Climate change is real' President says he seeks 'level playing field' for US and claims accords were about other countries gaining 'financial advantage' Jon Sharman l 2 hours ago|口37 comments Click to follow The Independent US JOIN THE CAMPAIGN COMMUNITYpetitions lol-coaster: The EU parliament: Warning label - Made in USA Donald Trump has withdrawn the US from the Paris Accord in the hope of boosting US industry with no regard for the damage it will do to the environment we all live in. As the most powerful man in the world he thinks he can do what he likes. Let’s fight back and prove him wrong!

lol-coaster: The EU parliament: Warning label - Made in USA Donald Trump has withdrawn the US from the Paris Accord in the hope of boost...

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Click, cnn.com, and Donald Trump: BUSINESS INSIDER UK POLITICS Trump has reportedly decided to withdraw from the Paris climate deal Peter Jacobs and Rebecca Harrington 011h 2,958 FACEBOOK in LINKEDIN TWITTER EMAIL PRINT President Donald Trump has decided to take the US out of the Paris climate accord, Jonathan Swan of the news website Axios first reported Wednesday, citing two sources Politico and CNN are also reporting that Trump intends to pull out of the agreement, citing White House officials. A White House representative didn't immediately respond to a request or comment. President Donald Trump speaking at Snap-On Tools on April 18 in Whether Trump will stay in the Kenosha, Wisconsin. AP deal -a cornerstone of President Barack Obama's environmental legacy - has been a looming question of his nascent presidency. On his recent trip abroad, Trump was pressured by European allies to stay a part of the accord. INDEPENDENT ews voices Sports Calture Indy/life Tech Daily Earton News World>Americas >US politics Elon Musk quits as Trump adviser over Paris Agreement withdrawal: 'Climate change is real' President says he seeks 'level playing field' for US and claims accords were about other countries gaining 'financial advantage' Jon Sharman l 2 hours ago|口37 comments Click to follow The Independent US JOIN THE CAMPAIGN COMMUNITYpetitions lol-coaster: The EU parliament: Warning label - Made in USA Donald Trump has withdrawn the US from the Paris Accord in the hope of boosting US industry with no regard for the damage it will do to the environment we all live in. As the most powerful man in the world he thinks he can do what he likes. Let’s fight back and prove him wrong!

lol-coaster: The EU parliament: Warning label - Made in USA Donald Trump has withdrawn the US from the Paris Accord in the hope of boost...

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