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Anaconda, Anna, and Community: hobbit-hole if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win hobbit-hole all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he's like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they've gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don't think i could take him without magic even if he is old because he's a very large guy, but maybe it would be my knuckles against Frodo's baby soft poet hands, plus rve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn't real so he can't offer a rebuttal to my claim penny-anna you're absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D hobbit-hole this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he's too polite to do that because it's a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty penny anna for someone who doesn't want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo. animate-mush OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin. First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won't be fighting your conscience at the same time Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He's no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that's comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he's not a fighter Also there's a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn't enough if a curse by itself) And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you'll deserve it, you penny-anna Also: if you fight Frodo you'll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on ainurs Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir feynites So here's the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you'll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you'll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh. So here's what you do You fight Legolas. The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you're gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimili, so once the challenge is issued, he's not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus! Anyway Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he's also already convinced you're weaker than him anyway because you're not an elf, so he's gonna go kind of easy on you And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here's the key thing You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince That's a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener yeah? icescrabblerjerky okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here. Source:hobbit-hole #mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 32,148 notes The Tolkien discourse is getting violent
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Bad, Bailey Jay, and Be Like: hannawolfcross: theghostparty: pondermoofin: vaniirox: #i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is fuckin’ Thor Look how badass he is while holding that baby  #I can imagine him using his Thor voice on her #like when she’s crying in the middle of the night #WHAT IS WRONG DAUGHTER OF MINE#DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT#WHY DOTH YOU TORMENT ME SO PRECIOUS ONE  But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter? TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER? I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU. WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER IF HE BE WORTHY SHALL POSSESS THE BLESSING OF THOR and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.” I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH. #ohohohohohohohrhioehehehheheh i followed you in my car to make sure you paid for her dinner hehehehehehehehe #i’ll literally come into your house and kill you if you break her heart #hehehehehehee What the hell.This is the greatest post in the universe. jesus christ it’s updated Rebloggin for the comments. JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere. I love you ALL of you this shit just keeps getting better!!! Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm. And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!” “I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.” “Oh my god, dad…” “HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.” “Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!” And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!” “Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.” “WELL DONE, BROTHER.” “Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!” “I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…” “UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!” “BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.” “No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!” “Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.” “UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.” “Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.” “YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.” “Dad…” “WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?” “Never mind. Thanks, good night.” #And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen #he never calls her back I’m sorry but this just keeps getting better and better EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying It gets better every fucking time! I am CRYING oh my god [[And there will be that one guy. He won’t run or never call again. He’ll sit there and play along. “I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.” It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
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Dope, Food, and Fucking: hipsterkittypostingteenybopper Re: Purge. If everything was legal for like twenty-four hours I'd start a communal garden. This is barely even hyperbole. I would legit start a communal garden with whoever wanted to join me. I think that would be fucking dope. derinthemadscientist Rewrite of The Purge where, for 24 hours, people hurriedly complete all those renovations and projects that the council forbids. Helen, leader of the PTA, laughs maniacally as she tears grass from her lawn with a pitchfork, her thirteen- year-old daughter Emily's arms red with mud as she wades through the carnage, planting thyme. Jack and Mitch have left their friendly smiles behind at the RSL; today their faces show only grim determination as they methodically shovel gravel into potholes and pour bitumen. The local biker gang, gathered on the corner, are the most rambunctious of the mischief-makers, whooping and hollering as nail guns are driven into plywood, assembling miniature by-the-road shelters for the homeless to rest on cold nights. Their noise covers the sounds of Katy and Sam moving from street to street with their trolleys, picking up unsold or unwanted food from houses and restaurants to give to the hungry without fear of taxation or food safety reprisals. They're young, and still scared of being caught But there's no one to catch them. Not tonight dreamerinsilico ...You know you live in a dystopian capitalist hellscape when.... The Purge: Maybe we are good people
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Barbie, Doctor, and Facebook: Freshman At University of Hartford Arrested For Harassing Roommate And Smearing Bodily Fluids On Her Belongings @balleralert Freshman At University of Hartford Arrested For Harassing Roommate And Smearing Bodily Fluids On Her Belongings - blogged by @baetoven_ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to the MiamiHerald, University of Hartford student Brianna Brochu was arrested and charged with third-degree criminal mischief and second-degree breach of peace after tampering with her roommate's belongings. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Chennel Rowe — aka Jazzy — says she never got along with Brochu. After Rowe got a new dorm assignment and notified her roommate, Brochu posted a cryptic message online that read: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "Finally did it ya girl got rid of her roommate! After 1 1-2 months of spitting in her coconut oil, putting moldy clam dip in her lotions, rubbing used tampons on her backpack, putting her toothbrush where the sun doesn’t shine and so much more I can finally say goodbye to Jamaican Barbie.” The post has since been deleted. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rowe chose to tell her story on Facebook Live, alleging that Brochu even posted pictures of her backpack with blood spots on it. She also said she previously went to the doctor for severe throat pain, but they didn't know the cause of it. Rowe believes Brochu's actions caused her sickness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rowe's story fueled beliefs that the attack was racially motivated, prompting Twitter users to demand justice with the hashtag JusticeForJazzy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ University of Hartford President Greg Woodward also denounced Brochu's actions in a statement saying: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "The incident has brought about accusations of racism, and I want you to know that I hear and share your anger and frustration. Acts of racism, bias, bullying, or other abusive behaviors will not be tolerated on this campus." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Brochu, who admitted to licking Rowe's silverware and wiping used tampons on her backpack, is no longer a student of the university and has been released on bond.

Freshman At University of Hartford Arrested For Harassing Roommate And Smearing Bodily Fluids On Her Belongings - blogged by @baetoven_ ⠀⠀⠀⠀...

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Arguing, Bad, and Barbie: T-Mobile LTE 8:46 PM Tajea-Jasmine Walton added 3 new photos. 5 hrs. Jazzy Rowe, a black American student at UHartford, was a victim of multiple forms of poisoning by her racist roommate. The girl put molded substances into Jazzy's skincare and beauty products, put her toothbrush "where the sun don't shine", rubbed period blood on her belongings, among multiple other things.. then proceeded to brag about it on Instagram. Even posting videos of Jazzy eating food after poisoning it and captioning them saying "if only she knew" At a point in time, Jazzy had so much bad bacteria in her throat, she couldn't even speak. She could have died simply because of her skin tone. University of Hartford is trying to silence Jazzy and her story, but we can't let that happen. Too often colleges let severe hate crimes get swept under the rug but I hope Connecticut is better than that. She also has a video on her page where she goes into detail about everything that happened. PLEASE just repost and spread this news. #JUSTICEFORJAZZY Write a comment... GIF T-Mobile LTE 8:46 PM 62% D Tajea-Jasmine's Post 2 t05 BennyBunOne @onlyelimori 1h As an Alumna of this University & former BSU President, I am highly disappointed in the University's lack of urgency to rectify this case. 2 t26 3 Tweet your reply 0 3 Comment Share Like "'ll AT&T 10:38 PM Done Photo breezy bumble_b Finally did it yo girl got rid of her roommate! After 11/2 month of spitting in her coconut oil, putting moldy clam dip in her lotions, rubbing used tampons oh her backpack, putting her toothbrush places where the sun doesn't shine, and so much more I can finally say goodbye Jamaican Barbie 2m 14 Comments Like Comment Share reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: This is beyond disgusting. Jazzy Rowe could have died, because of her roommates racism. The school tried to intimidate her into silence, but she speaking out and the multi cultural organizations at the school are meeting tomorrow (Nov. 1st) to support her. The Woman who openly admitted to poisoning her roommate is Brianna “Breezy” Borchu. She was the roommate of Jazzy Rowe at The University of Hartford. According to this website article, Brianna Borchu has recently been arrested. https://thetab.com/us/2017/11/01/white-freshman-brags-about-rubbing-used-tampons-on-her-black-roomm-73531 JAZZY COULD HAVE DIED. Brianna Borchu was literally poisoning this young woman because of her race. One could even argue that this was an attempted murder.. because it definitely was a HATE CRIME. She only received 2 charges. 1) 2nd degree Breach of Peace 2) 3rd degree Criminal Mischief

reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: This is beyond disgusting. Jazzy Rowe could have died, because of her room...

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Arguing, Bad, and Barbie: T-Mobile LTE 8:46 PM Tajea-Jasmine Walton added 3 new photos. 5 hrs. Jazzy Rowe, a black American student at UHartford, was a victim of multiple forms of poisoning by her racist roommate. The girl put molded substances into Jazzy's skincare and beauty products, put her toothbrush "where the sun don't shine", rubbed period blood on her belongings, among multiple other things.. then proceeded to brag about it on Instagram. Even posting videos of Jazzy eating food after poisoning it and captioning them saying "if only she knew" At a point in time, Jazzy had so much bad bacteria in her throat, she couldn't even speak. She could have died simply because of her skin tone. University of Hartford is trying to silence Jazzy and her story, but we can't let that happen. Too often colleges let severe hate crimes get swept under the rug but I hope Connecticut is better than that. She also has a video on her page where she goes into detail about everything that happened. PLEASE just repost and spread this news. #JUSTICEFORJAZZY Write a comment... GIF T-Mobile LTE 8:46 PM 62% D Tajea-Jasmine's Post 2 t05 BennyBunOne @onlyelimori 1h As an Alumna of this University & former BSU President, I am highly disappointed in the University's lack of urgency to rectify this case. 2 t26 3 Tweet your reply 0 3 Comment Share Like "'ll AT&T 10:38 PM Done Photo breezy bumble_b Finally did it yo girl got rid of her roommate! After 11/2 month of spitting in her coconut oil, putting moldy clam dip in her lotions, rubbing used tampons oh her backpack, putting her toothbrush places where the sun doesn't shine, and so much more I can finally say goodbye Jamaican Barbie 2m 14 Comments Like Comment Share reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: This is beyond disgusting. Jazzy Rowe could have died, because of her roommates racism. The school tried to intimidate her into silence, but she speaking out and the multi cultural organizations at the school are meeting tomorrow (Nov. 1st) to support her. The Woman who openly admitted to poisoning her roommate is Brianna “Breezy” Borchu. She was the roommate of Jazzy Rowe at The University of Hartford. According to this website article, Brianna Borchu has recently been arrested. https://thetab.com/us/2017/11/01/white-freshman-brags-about-rubbing-used-tampons-on-her-black-roomm-73531 JAZZY COULD HAVE DIED. Brianna Borchu was literally poisoning this young woman because of her race. One could even argue that this was an attempted murder.. because it definitely was a HATE CRIME. She only received 2 charges. 1) 2nd degree Breach of Peace 2) 3rd degree Criminal Mischief

reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: This is beyond disgusting. Jazzy Rowe could have died, because of her roo...

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Batman, Beautiful, and College: I'm about to have a fun afternoon. So my trainer's bf cheated on her, She broke up with him, He's holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to t Which she refuses. alk with Ain She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a bodly builder, and... wait for it... .a Navy seal. We're gonna go get her shit for her This should make for an interesting story. So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right, That's what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude's house. But I very proud to say, this ended without Arrival: Arrival: So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker's explorer and headed over to dude's house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I'd say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks ike your average guy b him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again, Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at hirm completely shocked when dude answers the door, He looks at this ut about THE SANISTER, We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door, fie looks at this weird threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman, te was like "FINE. Go take what you're looking group Retrieval: So we're all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We n't even tell her we were coming,t no list of items.The only one really berng productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down, Just showing off how strong were, In case the numbers game wasn't enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house, Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then was causing general mischief . He said to take what I was looking for, that's what I was looking for Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich, Because "you guys look like you have it under control, and I'm a sucker for egg salad. We were in and out in 15 Delivery: So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl's spot. She was conweniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don't. She sent us all an email once and didn't blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex, "OMg what didl you say to him? delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of Nothing. We're not messenger boys. We're delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked "Wtf is all that shit." So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed, She then. unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer, It was quiet for a second when the seal was like "So... chipoltle?" And we all got burrito bowls This is literally the most beautiful and thrilline tale, Start to fnish Sorry about the font
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Batman, Beautiful, and College: I'm about to have a fun afternoon. So my trainer's bf cheated on her, She broke up with him, He's holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to t Which she refuses. alk with Ain She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a bodly builder, and... wait for it... .a Navy seal. We're gonna go get her shit for her This should make for an interesting story. So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right, That's what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude's house. But I very proud to say, this ended without Arrival: Arrival: So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker's explorer and headed over to dude's house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I'd say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks ike your average guy b him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again, Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at hirm completely shocked when dude answers the door, He looks at this ut about THE SANISTER, We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door, fie looks at this weird threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman, te was like "FINE. Go take what you're looking group Retrieval: So we're all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We n't even tell her we were coming,t no list of items.The only one really berng productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down, Just showing off how strong were, In case the numbers game wasn't enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house, Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then was causing general mischief . He said to take what I was looking for, that's what I was looking for Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich, Because "you guys look like you have it under control, and I'm a sucker for egg salad. We were in and out in 15 Delivery: So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl's spot. She was conweniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don't. She sent us all an email once and didn't blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex, "OMg what didl you say to him? delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of Nothing. We're not messenger boys. We're delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked "Wtf is all that shit." So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed, She then. unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer, It was quiet for a second when the seal was like "So... chipoltle?" And we all got burrito bowls This is literally the most beautiful and thrilline tale, Start to fnish Sorry about the font
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