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Anaconda, Ass, and Huh: When someone doesn't know Rick and Morty 0 Poor little Rickless ard marzgurl: schwifty-memes: marzgurl: schwifty-memes: marzgurl: schwifty-memes: marzgurl: schwifty-memes: marzgurl: schwifty-memes: marzgurl: That’s okay, I’m alright without it. Trust me, it doesn’t need you either. Cool. Neat. We don’t need your lying toxic ass in any fandom. Now get the fuck off my post. Nah. Why wanna get caught slipping again with Jewario And KickVic? Check out this expert who was totally there and knows every aspect about what happened in either of these subjects. Stick to loving Rick Morty, kid, and stop getting your info from conspiracy theorists YouTubers. Keep to the theme of your own blog. Check out this loser trying to cover up bullshit that’s long been exposed. Maybe you should stick to being irrelevant. “Exposed”. The same vocabulary used by right-wing extreme conspiracy theory YouTubers. Like I said, stick to Rick Morty. You going off the rails and off topic is not going to make your followers happy. Huh. To me it seems like you don’t want people knowing you’re full of shit. Subvert and deny. That’s her M.O. same shit happened when you got called out for being shady in the past. It all just must be a conspiracy against you. You know when the whole change the channel thing blew up in your face after the allegations against Jewario came out. Or when the hash tag you started exposed you for the clout chasing hippocrite you are. But yeah you keep that narrative. Nobody is here subverting or denying anything. You’re willfully ignoring information being blatantly given to you in regards to JewWario. 90% of the producers who made videos for Channel Awesome did not know what was happening. His own wife had no idea. We didn’t know until four years after he was already dead. If you were really following those events last year, you would know that. Having compassion and empathy for victims of sexual assault and harassment has absolutely zero to do with chasing clout. Stealing copyrighted material as well as other people’s memes and literally not caring that you’re doing it, however? There’s 100% no reason to do that other than for your own clout. Yeah I steal memes. My followers know it and I never made any attempts to deny it. But where in the world did I use any of that for clout? This was a meme blog that got huge in spite of its self. Used mostly to store memes for a fandom I enjoy. I never asked for likes, reblogs, or follows. Nor do I profit in any way from this blog. Since Im a faceless individual operating from one site, what clout is there to be chased? But lets also ignore the fact that memes are created to be shared and passed around or that shit tons of other blogs do it. You are willfully ignoring the evidence that points that a lot of channel awesome creators did know, yourself included, and hushed up about it. You claim you have empathy, yet continue to drag someones name through the mud. Despite the fact there is more proof to his innocence than his guilt. Especially when many of those allegations you backed were proven to be false. Those conspiracy videos and threads continue to prove that. So you can post your shitty youtube videos all you want. Lord knows any sane individual would distance themself from that mess after it tanked. But I really doubt any of your arguments will hold up in court. Hey maybe well see. Since Vic is heading up a defamation case. One I wouldnt be surprised to see you caught up in. Since theres TONS of proof you were involved with that situation.
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Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained about the rainbow pride flag being flown in the foyer of a government department, saving it belongs to a "hostile nation" that has declared war on Australia. SENATE Senate Finance and Public Administration Legisiation Committee ileolai: gondorsfinest: feitanswife: sailurmars: mycroftrh: gerbthenerd: Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right. The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag: The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage. Here are some of their stamps: They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar. And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.) You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it???? WHAT okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office.  they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii. everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.
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Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained about the rainbow pride flag being flown in the foyer of a government department, saving it belongs to a "hostile nation" that has declared war on Australia. SENATE Senate Finance and Public Administration Legisiation Committee ileolai: gondorsfinest: feitanswife: sailurmars: mycroftrh: gerbthenerd: Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right. The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag: The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage. Here are some of their stamps: They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar. And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.) You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it???? WHAT okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office.  they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii. everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.
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Community, Confidence, and Friends: L) faithinhumanityr Dear teenage boy at skate park: You're probably about fifteen years old, so I don't expect you to be very mature or for you to want a little girl on your skate ramp for that matter. What you don't know is that my daughter has been wanting to skateboard for months. I actually had to convince her that skateboarding wasn't for just for boys. So when we walked up to the skate park and saw that it was full of teenage boys who were smoking and swearing she immediately wanted to turn around and go home. I secretly wanted to go too because I didn't want to have to put on my mom voice and exchange words with you. I also didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to be scared of anyone, or that she wasn't entitled to that skate park just as much as you were. So when she said 'Mom it's full of older boys" I calmly said·So what, they don't own the skate park. She proceeded to go down the ramp in spite of you and your friends flying past her and grinding rails beside her. She only had two or three runs in before you approached her and said Hey, excuse me... immediately prepared to deliver my "She's allowed to use this park just as much as you guys' speech when I heard you say "You're feet are wrong. Can I help you?' You proceeded to spend almost an hour with my daughter showing her how to balance and steer, and she listened to you; A feat not attained by most adults! You held her hand and helped her get up when she fell down and I even heard you tell her to stay away from the rails so that she wouldn't get hurt. I want you to know that I am proud that you are part of my community, and I want to thank you for being kind to my daughter, even though your friends made fun of you for it. She left with a sense of pride and with the confidence that she can do anything, because of you. Helping hand

Helping hand

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Community, Confidence, and Friends: L) faithinhumanityr Dear teenage boy at skate park: You're probably about fifteen years old, so I don't expect you to be very mature or for you to want a little girl on your skate ramp for that matter. What you don't know is that my daughter has been wanting to skateboard for months. I actually had to convince her that skateboarding wasn't for just for boys. So when we walked up to the skate park and saw that it was full of teenage boys who were smoking and swearing she immediately wanted to turn around and go home. I secretly wanted to go too because I didn't want to have to put on my mom voice and exchange words with you. I also didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to be scared of anyone, or that she wasn't entitled to that skate park just as much as you were. So when she said 'Mom it's full of older boys" I calmly said·So what, they don't own the skate park. She proceeded to go down the ramp in spite of you and your friends flying past her and grinding rails beside her. She only had two or three runs in before you approached her and said Hey, excuse me... immediately prepared to deliver my "She's allowed to use this park just as much as you guys' speech when I heard you say "You're feet are wrong. Can I help you?' You proceeded to spend almost an hour with my daughter showing her how to balance and steer, and she listened to you; A feat not attained by most adults! You held her hand and helped her get up when she fell down and I even heard you tell her to stay away from the rails so that she wouldn't get hurt. I want you to know that I am proud that you are part of my community, and I want to thank you for being kind to my daughter, even though your friends made fun of you for it. She left with a sense of pride and with the confidence that she can do anything, because of you. Helping hand

Helping hand

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Community, Confidence, and Friends: L) faithinhumanityr Dear teenage boy at skate park: You're probably about fifteen years old, so I don't expect you to be very mature or for you to want a little girl on your skate ramp for that matter. What you don't know is that my daughter has been wanting to skateboard for months. I actually had to convince her that skateboarding wasn't for just for boys. So when we walked up to the skate park and saw that it was full of teenage boys who were smoking and swearing she immediately wanted to turn around and go home. I secretly wanted to go too because I didn't want to have to put on my mom voice and exchange words with you. I also didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to be scared of anyone, or that she wasn't entitled to that skate park just as much as you were. So when she said 'Mom it's full of older boys" I calmly said·So what, they don't own the skate park. She proceeded to go down the ramp in spite of you and your friends flying past her and grinding rails beside her. She only had two or three runs in before you approached her and said Hey, excuse me... immediately prepared to deliver my "She's allowed to use this park just as much as you guys' speech when I heard you say "You're feet are wrong. Can I help you?' You proceeded to spend almost an hour with my daughter showing her how to balance and steer, and she listened to you; A feat not attained by most adults! You held her hand and helped her get up when she fell down and I even heard you tell her to stay away from the rails so that she wouldn't get hurt. I want you to know that I am proud that you are part of my community, and I want to thank you for being kind to my daughter, even though your friends made fun of you for it. She left with a sense of pride and with the confidence that she can do anything, because of you. Helping hand via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2t4oMUO

Helping hand via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2t4oMUO

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Community, Confidence, and Friends: faithinhumanityr Dear teenage boy at skate park: You're probably about fifteen years old, so I don't expect you to be very mature or for you to want a little girl on your skate ramp for that matter. What you don't know is that my daughter has been wanting to skateboard for months. I actually had to convince her that skateboarding wasn't for just for boys. So when we walked up to the skate park and saw that it was full of teenage boys who were smoking and swearing she immediately wanted to turn around and go home. I secretly wanted to go too because I didn't want to have to put on my mom voice and exchange words with you. I also didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to be scared of anyone, or that she wasn't entitled to that skate park just as much as you were. So when she said Mom it's full of older boys"I calmly said So what, they don't own the skate park" She proceeded to go down the ramp in spite of you and your friends flying past her and grinding rails beside her. She only had two or three runs in before you approached her and said 'Hey, excuse me... immediately prepared to deliver my "She's allowed to use this park just as much as you guys' speech when I heard you say "You're feet are wrong. Can I help you?" You proceeded to spend almost an hour with my daughter showing her how to balance and steer, and she listened to you; A feat not attained by most adults! You held her hand and helped her get up when she fell down and I even heard you tell her to stay away from the rails so that she wouldn't get hurt. I want you to know that I am proud that you are part of my community, and I want to thank you for being kind to my daughter, even though your friends made fun of you for it. She left with a sense of pride and with the confidence that she can do anything, because of you. Wholesome comes from many places

Wholesome comes from many places

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Alive, Barney, and Dinosaur: bearsister Is there any hatred stronger than the rage kids get towards Barney the dinosaur as soon as they are just a little too old for Barney the dinosaur 30-seconds-to-marx So, this guy, Martin Pistorius, fell into a coma when he was 12 years old and eventually awoke completely paralyzed, at least physically. He was misdiagnosed. Doctors believed he was in a completely vegetative state, but in reality, he had regained full consciousness and awareness. He just didn't possess any motor function, so he couldn't communicate to anyone that he was alive in there. He lived this way for 12 years before he overcame it by sheer force of will and was given the tools to communicate. He tells his story in his book, Ghost Boy. Since then he's also been the subject of the first episode of Invisibilia on NPR and had his own TedTalk. Anyway, the breaking point that incited his plan of escape was being forced to watch Barney reruns all day, everyday at his care center. Sitting in front of the TV, he learned to tell the time by the shadows on the wall. If he had time he could know when Barney would end. With the ability to measure his days, he was able to pull himself out of the void and ultimately start down the path to recovery Today, Martin can communicate whatever he wants with the help of a computer program but there's one thing he can't articulate: "I cannot even express to you how much I hated Barney So it turns out that the primal hatred people have toward Barney is strong enough to pull a disembodied consciousness out of the abyss of existential despair and into the physical world out of pure spite Source: bearsister 98,493 notes This is actually true!!

This is actually true!!

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Facts, Period, and Respect: sadboi-syd Complaint about delivery of the wrong grade of copper About 1750 BC (Old Babylonian period). from Ur ME 33123 the Ningal ssful trading Gulf o sian an period) to tastefullvoffensive Babylonian era problems. (photo via tbc34) dama3 old school hate mail jakovu Imagine how pissed you have to be to engrave a rock thesparkofrevolution Ok but there was this guy called Ea-nasir who was a total crook and would actually cheat people ought of good copper and sell them shit instead The amount of correspondences complaining to and about this guy are HILARIOUS blacktyranitar Are you telling me we know about a specific guy who lived 5000 years ago, by name, because he was a huge asshole thesparkofrevolution More like 4000 years ago but yes. Ea-nasir and his dodgy business deals prokopetz And we haven't even touched on the true hilarity of the situation yet. Consider two additional facts He wasn't just into copper trading. There are letters complaining about Ea-nasir's business practices with respect to everything from kitchenwares to real estate speculation to second-hand clothing. The guy was everywhere The majority of the surviving correspondences regarding Ea- nasir were recovered from one particular room in a building that is believed to have been Ea-nasir's own house Like, these are clay tablets. They're bulky, fragile, and difficult to store. They typically weren't kept long-term unless they contained financial records or other vital information (which is why we have huge reams of financial data about ancient Babylon in spite of how little we know about the actual culture: most of the surviving tablets are commercial inventories, bills of sale, etc.) But this guy, this Ea-nasir, he kept all of his angry letters hundreds of them - and meticulously filed and preserved them in a dedicated room in his house. What kind of guy does that? Tumblr discusses the Complaint tablet to Ea-nasir
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9/11, America, and Children: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
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Ass, Caitlyn Jenner, and Community: Ma$on @FirstGentleman FollowV Do vou understand how horrible of a person you have to be for Ellen not to like you? Attitude @AttitudeMag Caitlyn Jenner says Ellen "alienated" her from LGBT+ community attitude.co.uk/caitlyn-jenner RETWEETS LIKES 6,7369,034 A derpomatic: libertarirynn: talesandthoughtsfromreality: such-justice-wow: etheartist26: such-justice-wow: libertarirynn: fiftiesdoll: the-at-symbol: libertarirynn: I guess y’all aren’t kissing Caitlyn Jenner’s ass anymore? Oh right I forgot she participated in wrongthink so she’s no longer a “trans icon” or whatever Didn’t she run someone over once Aye and her victim died. She got away with it. I knew somebody would bring that up but that was before the transition and thus clearly not the reason people are turning on her now. She doesn’t support gay marriage, i thought that was the main one I heard about the car thing but not the marriage one. I thought it was because she said if you don’t ‘fully transition’, which costs thousands and thousands of dollars, that you weren’t really trans. Oh yeah i heard that one too. Either way there are plenty of reasons not to like her no matter your political affiliation Why should it matter if the car thing was pre or post transition? It’s still horrible and a reason not to like her. BuT iTs NoT tHe ReAsOn ThEy DoN’t LiKe HeR. That’s why it matters that it was Pre-transition. My point of this was not “I like Caitlyn Jenner“ it’s that the people who kissed her ass did so in spite of the hit-and-run and only stopped kissing her ass when she revealed right-leaning politics. That’s literally it. Caitlyn killed someone, transitioned, and became “stunning and brave”, then everyone learned she’s a conservative, and shat all over her again.And the people who think Ellen is some pure wooby would do the exact same to her if she committed wrongthink. Exactly. You can hang around and/or do all sorts of morally questionable things and still be OK as long as you identify on the LGBTQASDFGHJKL Spectrum and have the right politics, the only dealbreaker is being even slightly right of center. Caitlyn was “Woman of the Year” until she said she supported Ted Cruz. Lacie Greene was a feminist darling until she had the audacity to say that it can be beneficial to have discussions with people of different opinions, then suddenly she was the Nazi sympathizer. No one is safe.
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Ass, Caitlyn Jenner, and Community: Ma$on @FirstGentleman FollowV Do vou understand how horrible of a person you have to be for Ellen not to like you? Attitude @AttitudeMag Caitlyn Jenner says Ellen "alienated" her from LGBT+ community attitude.co.uk/caitlyn-jenner RETWEETS LIKES 6,7369,034 A talesandthoughtsfromreality: such-justice-wow: etheartist26: such-justice-wow: libertarirynn: fiftiesdoll: the-at-symbol: libertarirynn: I guess y’all aren’t kissing Caitlyn Jenner’s ass anymore? Oh right I forgot she participated in wrongthink so she’s no longer a “trans icon” or whatever Didn’t she run someone over once Aye and her victim died. She got away with it. I knew somebody would bring that up but that was before the transition and thus clearly not the reason people are turning on her now. She doesn’t support gay marriage, i thought that was the main one I heard about the car thing but not the marriage one. I thought it was because she said if you don’t ‘fully transition’, which costs thousands and thousands of dollars, that you weren’t really trans. Oh yeah i heard that one too. Either way there are plenty of reasons not to like her no matter your political affiliation Why should it matter if the car thing was pre or post transition? It’s still horrible and a reason not to like her. BuT iTs NoT tHe ReAsOn ThEy DoN’t LiKe HeR. That’s why it matters that it was Pre-transition. My point of this was not “I like Caitlyn Jenner“ it’s that the people who kissed her ass did so in spite of the accident and only stopped kissing her ass when she revealed right-leaning politics. That’s literally it.UPDATE: I change “hit-and-run“ to “accident“ because I’m pretty sure it was proven that it was in fact an accident and she wasn’t texting at the time.
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Advice, Ass, and Bad: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that Counterpoint, my good man: Bragonsuck Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards. dragons are SUPER horny counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True Polymorph to make things interesting you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post OP is right and they should say it Dragon Bf Giont Gnol Gobin Haiting Koboid Spite As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs. Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad encounter and fuck the dragon. I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!! That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say?? You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting sauteed OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid Don't bring shrek into this OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him on his path 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never stopped talking or singing. That was his THING 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit he managed to survive in that movie CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE AGAIN advice-animal: How to Fuck your Dragon
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Ass, Bad, and Beautiful: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that Counterpoint, my good man: Bragonsuck Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards. dragons are SUPER horny counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True Polymorph to make things interesting you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post OP is right and they should say it Dragon Bf Giont Gnol Gobin Haiting Koboid Spite As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs. Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad encounter and fuck the dragon. I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!! That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say?? You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting sauteed OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid Don't bring shrek into this OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him on his path 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never stopped talking or singing. That was his THING 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit he managed to survive in that movie CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE AGAIN How to Fuck your Dragon
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