Bad, Beautiful, and Fucking: Take
WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME
I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.
But this… This is something else.
The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.
For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?
….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE
it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here
ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)
this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)
“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)
‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)
and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)
which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)
(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)
I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.
average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted
it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics
I was getting a political compass vibe too
tag urself im man door hand hook car gun
This works better than I thought it would.
This was in my senior project
I’m not sorry.
EIGHT MEME COMBO
We have officially created a new language
I just had to do it to em
THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY
I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING
M E M E T E N
W o w
You know I had to
I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it
MEME COUNT:1 - YMCA (@plaid-n-converse, pointed out by @pagesofkenna)2 - breadsticks (see above)3 - man door hand hook car door (see above)4 - gun (see above)5 - meme combo (see above)6 - loss (see above)7 - 2000s comics vibes (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @japhers)8 - political compass (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit, then highlighted by @politicalcompassmemes)9 - tag yourself (user was @your-uncle-dave but now appears to be deactivated)10 - i hate this (kind of barely used by @fidefortitude so idk if it really counts)11 - nickelback/look at this photograph (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)12 - had to do it to them (see above)13 - distracted boyfriend (see above)14 - is this a pigeon (see above)15 - oh, this is beautiful (@garecc)16 - expanding brain (@cherrysconeslut)17 - cursed (can be argues as a meme due to its excessive use and popularity, as well as the sort of subtext/emotion behind it that accompanies most memes on this site) (@plaid-n-converse)18 - weve created a new language (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)19 - owo (see above)20 - most ___ addition to a post (@plaid-n-converse)21 - it could be argued that meme analysis in itself is a memeFeel free to debate any of these or add any Ive missed, but I think I got them all??
Anal Sex, Dating, and God: theyellowbrickroad
Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex
legitimately thought he killed me with his
Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex,
trying out some new positions. We are having
sex in a pretty similar position to this
And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a
god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he's pounding at
it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go
right back in... But something is wrong. He's
about to enter...
The. Wrong. Hole
And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But
it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into
my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder
and leap right up onto my feet
We had only been dating a couple of months at
this time and there was something very
important he did not know about me: I am a
chronic fainter. If I'm in pain or if I see my own
blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet
and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass
He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just
being emotional, and he's like "no baby come
here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint
and my head ping pongs off my metal bed
frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole
body falls on the ground
He has never seen anybody faint before and
naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes
later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked
chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he
sent me to the qrave with some accidental anal
SIMONE I AM YELLING
Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I
didn't make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after
The. Wrong. Hole
Best Friend, Blowjob, and Cum: UNSPOKEN RULES OF SEX
50% of the time, a woman saying "Don't stop.
I'm about to cum" will make you cum and ruin
her orgasm. It's a cruel glitch that hasn't
Wash yo genitals
Don't lie about being on the pill.
The difference between "fetish" and "felony"
is checking beforehand
If you're using anal beads do not pull them
out and say, "And the winning power ball
As a guy, it's an unspoken law to alert your
partner before you cum
Don't blow into the vagina
If you fart whilst receiving a blowjob and they
keep going like nothing happened, you are
required to buy your partner something shiny
Take a pee after you have sex, it will help
One does not just "oops" it in the backdoor
If you receive oral, you should return the
There are a LOT of weird noises. Get over it
If she says "Don't pull out!"... Absolutely pull
If he/she asks who your fantasy fuck is, don't
say his/her best friend
Cut/file your nails before fingering
Take off your fucking socks
When switching from any position to
doggy style, do not yell, "BEAST MODE."
Don't forget to include a tip when you pay
Unspoken rules of sex