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Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans. Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this: A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. No thanks. Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers. How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess. He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover. Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case. Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.” If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go. I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been
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Bodies , Children, and Climbing: Drowning in real life looks nothing like in the movies, and in fact many parents actually watch their children drown, having no idea that it's happening Ultrafacts.tumblr.com faikitty: mermaibee: ultrafacts: According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening. Drowning does not look like drowning—Dr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guard’s On Scene magazine, described the Instinctive Drowning Response like this: “Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled before speech occurs. Drowning people’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface of the water. The mouths of drowning people are not above the surface of the water long enough for them to exhale, inhale, and call out for help. When the drowning people’s mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly as their mouths start to sink below the surface of the water. Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the water’s surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe. Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment. From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response people’s bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.” This doesn’t mean that a person that is yelling for help and thrashing isn’t in real trouble—they are experiencing aquatic distress. Not always present before the Instinctive Drowning Response, aquatic distress doesn’t last long—but unlike true drowning, these victims can still assist in their own rescue. They can grab lifelines, throw rings, etc. Look for these other signs of drowning when persons are in the water: Head low in the water, mouth at water level Head tilted back with mouth open Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus Eyes closed Hair over forehead or eyes Not using legs—vertical Hyperventilating or gasping Trying to swim in a particular direction but not making headway Trying to roll over on the back Appear to be climbing an invisible ladder So if a crew member falls overboard and everything looks OK—don’t be too sure. Sometimes the most common indication that someone is drowning is that they don’t look like they’re drowning. They may just look like they are treading water and looking up at the deck. One way to be sure? Ask them, “Are you all right?” If they can answer at all—they probably are. If they return a blank stare, you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them. And parents—children playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why. Source/article: [x] Follow Ultrafacts for more facts! BOOST FOR THE SUMMER. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Can I just say thank you to OP for putting such a detailed description on this? I’ve been a lifeguard for 6 years now and of all the saves I’ve done, maybe two or three had people drowning in the stereotypical thrashing style. And even those, like the save I made last weekend, it was exactly like OP describes where the person’s head is going in and out of the water but it isn’t long enough to get any air. Mostly you recognize drowning by the look on someone’s face. If someone looks wide eyed and terrified or confused, chances are they’re drowning. That look of “oh shit” is pretty easily recognizable. And even if you can’t tell for sure: GO AFTER THEM ANYWAY. I’ve done “saves” where a kid was pretending to drown and I mistook it for real drowning, but that’s preferable to a kid ACTUALLY drowning. Also please remember that even strong swimmers can drown if they have a medical emergency, get cramps, or get too tired. If your friend knows how to swim but they’re acting funny get them to land. And even if someone can respond when you ask them if they need help, if they say they do need help? GO HELP THEM. However . If the victim is a stranger, I can’t recommend trying to get them. Lifeguards literally train to escape “attacks,” because people who are drowning can freak the fuck out and grab you and make YOU drown as well. If you do go in after someone, take hold of them from the back and talk to them the whole time. IF YOU ARE GRABBED: duck down into the water as low as you can get. The person is panicking and won’t want to go under water and should release you. Shove up at their hands and push them away from you as you duck under. Don’t die trying to save someone else. Please guys, read and memorize this post. Not all places have lifeguards. Being able to recognize drowning is such an important skill to have and you can save someone’s life.
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Children, Club, and Creepy: At the end of the road is a big old mansion that could house several families, but it only has two inhabitants: Old, rich Mrs. Poppel and her butler Adam. Mrs. Poppel was never much of a smiler, but there doesn't seem to be a mean bone in her. If children kick a ball into her garden she doesn't make a fuzz, just nods at them and watch as they retrieve it. Most days people can see her embroide own little ring by the window, seemingly caught up in her She is peculiar, but never bothers anyone She's just an old lady who spends her days sowing and socializing at the local book club Tell your sister I hope she gets well soon. Adam is quite different. Always smiling and friendly. Always ready to help if he has the time. He's incredibly popular in town,F not to mention at the pub when he has a few hours off. He drinks, laughs and sings, and can even be talked into playing the guitar if asked enough times. Women love him too, but he just winks at them and jokes that he's committed to Mrs. Poppel. It's his own fault that people started spreading rumors that he was really Mrs s live-in lover who had been put to work around the house Typically Adam he just played along. "I don't kiss and tell" When some drunk lads saw him walk arm in arm with Mrs. Poppel down the street, no doubt to steady her, they teasingly shouted "Taking your sweetheart out fora stroll?!" while making kissing sounds been up to now?" l looked up at him like, "What have you They're an odd pair, but they seem happy together in the big house Pork? Again? I'm sorry, Mrs Im still waiting for a delivery Adam even does things not expected of a butler, like gardening while she rests in a sun chair, which has only added fuel to the rumors SU way, Adam d every once in a while something incredible happens; Mrs smiles. No one knows how Adam does it, but neither is it a surprise to anyone It l An Only one truly odd thing has ever happened to them One night a neighbor saw a man sneaking around the house testing the cellar windows. The bedroom. That's where old ladies keep all the good stuff She didn't see him get in, but suddenly he was gone so she grabbed the phone and called the police, just to be safe. What!? She's still home? That means her boy-toy has to be somewhere in the house too- Huh? Adam opened the door dressed in a robe when the police rang the doorbell. He woke up Mrs. Poppel and together they could confirm that the house hadn't been broken into. The officers couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, but gave Mrs Poppel a number to call if they saw anything The following day a man by the name Eric was reported missing. He had lived a rough life of petty crime and robbery, and sometimes didn't contact his friends or family for weeks so it was impossible to say when exactly he disappears. It could have been that same day, or two weeks prior People wondered if maybe he had been the man sneaking around outside Mrs. Poppel's house, but everyone agreed that it was probably just a coincidence. After all, people like him went missing all the time in the surrounding towns. And even if it was him, what did it matter? Mrs. Poppel and Adam were good eople who were loved by the whole town. There was no reason to cause trouble for them, no matter what their relationship was. Besides, Mrs. Poppel had one of her good weeks after that night, seeming a lot more cheerful and happy. It would be a shame to ruin it. thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/demons? Occultists? Maybe only Adam? So many possibilities. I also struggled a lot with Adam’s looks. I wanted him to look like an honest to god nice, charming guy who also looked super creepy in the right (wrong?) light. There was supposed to be a whole backstory about Mrs. Poppel’s husband and when Adam came into her life, but I decided to leave it out as it was already pretty text heavy.

thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/d...

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Empire, Fall, and Food: Dear Guy Who Just Made My ntruding Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredient:s going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. Whern you make a burrito, you should put the ingredi- ents in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what: Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that, Because at least THEN would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR Nope My experience was more like HEY BEANS ITS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND IFOR A MINUTE UNTILI CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET You built this thing like a fucking pack of And don't even fucking think I'm about to open this shit up and re engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. IALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THATS HOWI DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOK ING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE What's that? should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DONT WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK IDIDN'T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEWW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER That's like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOUA WRENCH, SO BE COOL Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They're caⅡed fucking A fork. My god.I haven't cried sinceI was six, now People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. The absolute worst way to make a burrito
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Children, Desperate, and Government: Given the Desperate Circumstances, the US Government Decides to Arm Children in Schools (November, 2018)

Given the Desperate Circumstances, the US Government Decides to Arm Children in Schools (November, 2018)

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Ass, Friends, and Mood: vintar i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today I had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a singie person noticed. not one. if people don't care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely- contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you're fretting about or how you've done your hair Question, why are you bringing a 8 ft python into a public bus? You know that this reptile can kill anyone inside there? buddy she's a snake not a flying death tentacle snakes are not evil killers out for blood, and length doesnt mean lethality! my biggest guy is 11 ft-ifi have him around my neck, both his face and his tail touch the floor- and even his species struggles to take down anything bigger than a smal-to- medium dog the worst damage that my 8fter is capable of is when she decides to do an impression of ab makes my arm go a bit purpie, and even that's just when i humour her dreams of being big and scary and let her squeeze her hardest before i unwind her like a bratty garden hose ood- pressure cuff and as long as you're not some sort of magical tumbiring rat, you're fine Okay, I gotta ask... 1. Why was she angry? 2. Where were you taking her on the bus? is there a leash-free snake park where you live? I need to know. 1. she's a cranky ass in general, but her mood was absolutely not improved by eating a bit of a snake hook, getting stuffed in a sack, experiencing an hour of adelaide 's finest public transport, and having a vet jam a tube into her stomach 2. i think all of australia is technically a leash-free snake park tbh I am so glad there was follow up on this post explaining why the snake was on the bus!! bratty garden hose"I'm dying All of Australia is a leash-free snake park. buddy she's a snake not a flying death tentacle " Learning this took place in Australia really makes it all make much more sense. A positivity post featuring a very angry snake
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College, Go to Sleep, and Head: Reasons why I hate students loans As a kid, I never liked owing people money l never liked that someone could hold that over my head and follow me every step I took. sin When it came time to pay for college it took my mother and her extended relatives everything they had just to make the down payment. It felt wrong to be taking from people who had sacrificed so much already I once saw a sign at another university that said, "by cutting Starbucks you can save more than $2,000 a year What they don't advertise on the glossy college brochures: Losing weight because you skipped lunch for the fourth time that week comes free with the tuition. On days when I've run out of pepper, hunger is the best seasoning I know. I've tasted instant noodles so many times I can tell the flavor by the sound of powder hitting water. parents sacrificed everything to come to this country to give me a better life. My when l call my mother."I tell her I'm doing fine, but she can hear the tiredness in my voice and she says she's sorry she's not able to do more for me. They told me college would be expensive I just didn't expect to pay an arm and a leg to be a part of this student body. I'm missing office hours because of work. l'm missing work to study because I missed office hours. I'm missing the test because I overslept because I spent all night working They said by going to college I would be working towards mý dreams, now when I go to sleep at night, I don't dream anymore. studentlifeproblems: If you are a student Follow @studentlifeproblems​

studentlifeproblems: If you are a student Follow @studentlifeproblems​

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