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prismatic-bell: kari-izumi: dancinbutterfly: edenfenixblogs: the-omniscient-narrator: spacevinci: somethingratchet: sheisraging: Cindy: Hey… can I be a Jew? Rabbi: No. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: No. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: You really want this? Sincerely? Not ‘cause this one’s trying to blackmail me for something stupid when I was 19 or for broccoli with your dinner? What is this for you? Cindy: Honestly, I think I found my people. I was raised in a church where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I’d go to hell. And if I was good, I’d go to heaven. And if I’d ask Jesus, he’d forgive me and that was that. And here y’all are sayin’ ain’t no hell. Ain’t sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God’s concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like … you do God. And that’s a lot of work, but I think I’m in, as least as far as I can see it. I mean, maybe I’ll learn more and say fuck the whole thing, I mean, but I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be in it to do that. You know… Does that make sense? Shit, did I just talk myself out of it? Rabbi: Ask me again. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: Yes. I cried so hard during this scene. First of all, this is beautiful. Second of all, as a contextual note, the rabbi said no for a reason. In Jewish conversion, one of the steps is that you must be discouraged at least three times. This comes from the story of Ruth, where Naomi told her not to follow her back to the Jewish tribe three times before giving in. Third of all, this is beautiful. Adrienne KILLED it in those scenes. I wept with her! “It’s like a verb.” She wants to work on her faith continuously and that was gorgeous and so honest. THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT DO U UNDERSTAND. We aren’t a people who actively convert people. You’ll never see a Jewish person try to convert you. We believe in everyone’s right to believe what they want. But it was so nice to see someone who wasn’t raised in it be able to see value in my faith. I have never seen anything like that on tv before Not only that?? Its one of the only times I’ve ever seen Judaism The Faith and Religion ever actually articulated on screen. What do we believe? We believe that You Choose To Do God. Thats why we’re the Chosen People - because we Chose to Opt In To Doing God this particular way. I have never in my life before seen any form of media EVER express what Jews ACTUALLY BELIEVE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE out loud but OITNB did. And when people ask me? I always throw them here. Because it’s dead on. You do God (Jewishly) and you have to choose it. That’s what we believe. That’s it. Thats the entire thing. And this is the only time we have EVER had ANY representation and I will cherish it always. And for those of you who didn’t see the show? She got to bathe in a mikvah equivalent and convert fully so yes, Cindy is as Jewish as the whitest Ashkenazi Jew. More, because according to the sages, the convert is to be praised for their choice and their dedication. And as such, any children she has will be Jewish too. <3 Love for Cindy. Love to any religious Jews out there who feel unseen in media (you’re right, we aren’t seen). Love for any converts out there who don’t feel Jewish enough (you are - no matter what branch you converted in). Extra love for all my Jews of Color (no addendum - just love to you all period). Stay strong out there yall. Write yourselves into some stories and talk about our faith okay? We deserve to be seen and known, even if we aren’t converting. Demystification is part of the fight against antisemitism. All of this, but ALSOit’s so rare to see black people get to be any other religion of Baptist Christian. Or to even talk about that not all of us believe in God in the way we’re been taught. Most of what I’ve learned about Judaism I learned through the Jewish bloggers I’ve found here like @prismatic-bell @realsadjewishhours and @wetwareproblem among others, but even as an agnostic black woman, I was just as happy to see Cindy find her own way, and even happier to hear that they actually did right with the conversion process this time. And @dancinbutterfly’s last line is why, when my rabbi said I should go to rabbinic school, I said…..no.Rabbi means teacher, and there are a ton of good Jewish teachers of Jews out there. But there aren’t so many Jewish teachers of gentiles. It’s why I work at cons under the name Oy Vay Productions. I am like you, except where I’m not, and where I’m not should not have to be frightening or mysterious to you. And then, when someone is all “well the Jews are a bunch of wealthy lizards,” you can remember me, think of me teaching you not just about anime but about the fact that Jews are just people out here doing how we do, and instead of “that seems possibly incorrect but I don’t know enough about Jews to dispute it,” you can say “that is not true, I have met and been befriended by a Jew, shared a meal and a class talked, and I know better.”I do my teaching by being a loud and proud Jew who is out here doing G-d an living my life. There are plenty of rabbis with skills I could only dream of having. But what I do is just as important to protecting and preserving Am Yisrael.: prismatic-bell: kari-izumi: dancinbutterfly: edenfenixblogs: the-omniscient-narrator: spacevinci: somethingratchet: sheisraging: Cindy: Hey… can I be a Jew? Rabbi: No. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: No. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: You really want this? Sincerely? Not ‘cause this one’s trying to blackmail me for something stupid when I was 19 or for broccoli with your dinner? What is this for you? Cindy: Honestly, I think I found my people. I was raised in a church where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I’d go to hell. And if I was good, I’d go to heaven. And if I’d ask Jesus, he’d forgive me and that was that. And here y’all are sayin’ ain’t no hell. Ain’t sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God’s concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like … you do God. And that’s a lot of work, but I think I’m in, as least as far as I can see it. I mean, maybe I’ll learn more and say fuck the whole thing, I mean, but I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be in it to do that. You know… Does that make sense? Shit, did I just talk myself out of it? Rabbi: Ask me again. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: Yes. I cried so hard during this scene. First of all, this is beautiful. Second of all, as a contextual note, the rabbi said no for a reason. In Jewish conversion, one of the steps is that you must be discouraged at least three times. This comes from the story of Ruth, where Naomi told her not to follow her back to the Jewish tribe three times before giving in. Third of all, this is beautiful. Adrienne KILLED it in those scenes. I wept with her! “It’s like a verb.” She wants to work on her faith continuously and that was gorgeous and so honest. THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT DO U UNDERSTAND. We aren’t a people who actively convert people. You’ll never see a Jewish person try to convert you. We believe in everyone’s right to believe what they want. But it was so nice to see someone who wasn’t raised in it be able to see value in my faith. I have never seen anything like that on tv before Not only that?? Its one of the only times I’ve ever seen Judaism The Faith and Religion ever actually articulated on screen. What do we believe? We believe that You Choose To Do God. Thats why we’re the Chosen People - because we Chose to Opt In To Doing God this particular way. I have never in my life before seen any form of media EVER express what Jews ACTUALLY BELIEVE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE out loud but OITNB did. And when people ask me? I always throw them here. Because it’s dead on. You do God (Jewishly) and you have to choose it. That’s what we believe. That’s it. Thats the entire thing. And this is the only time we have EVER had ANY representation and I will cherish it always. And for those of you who didn’t see the show? She got to bathe in a mikvah equivalent and convert fully so yes, Cindy is as Jewish as the whitest Ashkenazi Jew. More, because according to the sages, the convert is to be praised for their choice and their dedication. And as such, any children she has will be Jewish too. <3 Love for Cindy. Love to any religious Jews out there who feel unseen in media (you’re right, we aren’t seen). Love for any converts out there who don’t feel Jewish enough (you are - no matter what branch you converted in). Extra love for all my Jews of Color (no addendum - just love to you all period). Stay strong out there yall. Write yourselves into some stories and talk about our faith okay? We deserve to be seen and known, even if we aren’t converting. Demystification is part of the fight against antisemitism. All of this, but ALSOit’s so rare to see black people get to be any other religion of Baptist Christian. Or to even talk about that not all of us believe in God in the way we’re been taught. Most of what I’ve learned about Judaism I learned through the Jewish bloggers I’ve found here like @prismatic-bell @realsadjewishhours and @wetwareproblem among others, but even as an agnostic black woman, I was just as happy to see Cindy find her own way, and even happier to hear that they actually did right with the conversion process this time. And @dancinbutterfly’s last line is why, when my rabbi said I should go to rabbinic school, I said…..no.Rabbi means teacher, and there are a ton of good Jewish teachers of Jews out there. But there aren’t so many Jewish teachers of gentiles. It’s why I work at cons under the name Oy Vay Productions. I am like you, except where I’m not, and where I’m not should not have to be frightening or mysterious to you. And then, when someone is all “well the Jews are a bunch of wealthy lizards,” you can remember me, think of me teaching you not just about anime but about the fact that Jews are just people out here doing how we do, and instead of “that seems possibly incorrect but I don’t know enough about Jews to dispute it,” you can say “that is not true, I have met and been befriended by a Jew, shared a meal and a class talked, and I know better.”I do my teaching by being a loud and proud Jew who is out here doing G-d an living my life. There are plenty of rabbis with skills I could only dream of having. But what I do is just as important to protecting and preserving Am Yisrael.
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eric-coldfire: broadwaytheanimatedseries: wessasaurus-rex: loosescrewslefty: powerpuff-save-the-day: Powerpuff Girls was actually a show about a group of small children crushing the patriarchy and no one will convince me otherwise Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise obviously wasn’t watching the same show. reasons why i love this show so much  I love that the most tiny feminine delicate sweetheart of the three does the traditionaly masculine chores. Kinda makes me wanna see a teen Bubbles change a tire in a pretty dress and hair bow. Don’t forget the time they had a Misandrist Villain who used feminism as an excuse as to why the PPG should let her go free. Then when the girls themselves started being hateful to men, Ms. Bella had to correct the girls on what real feminism is. Then the PPG schooled the villain on Susan B Anthony and beat the shit out of her. Also don’t forget that while the above mentioned PPG episodes most likely got the show praise from the feminist crowds, the Femme Fatale episode got the show hate mail and death threats from the same crowd. Powerpuff Girls was some good shit. : He--he called me sweet cheeks GIRLS No! NARRATOR Not sweet cheeks! There are only 3 villains capable of such insensitive, derogatoryg and-insulting anquage eric-coldfire: broadwaytheanimatedseries: wessasaurus-rex: loosescrewslefty: powerpuff-save-the-day: Powerpuff Girls was actually a show about a group of small children crushing the patriarchy and no one will convince me otherwise Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise obviously wasn’t watching the same show. reasons why i love this show so much  I love that the most tiny feminine delicate sweetheart of the three does the traditionaly masculine chores. Kinda makes me wanna see a teen Bubbles change a tire in a pretty dress and hair bow. Don’t forget the time they had a Misandrist Villain who used feminism as an excuse as to why the PPG should let her go free. Then when the girls themselves started being hateful to men, Ms. Bella had to correct the girls on what real feminism is. Then the PPG schooled the villain on Susan B Anthony and beat the shit out of her. Also don’t forget that while the above mentioned PPG episodes most likely got the show praise from the feminist crowds, the Femme Fatale episode got the show hate mail and death threats from the same crowd. Powerpuff Girls was some good shit.
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oatscarwilde: blackstar: blackstar: once every few weeks i remember exactly how bad the narrator of fight club wanted tyler durden to raw him and wake up in a cold sweat haunted by the hordes of straight dudes who thought that this character was heterosexual straight dudes: boy, fight club sure does speak to our specific, heterosexual form of masculinity! what a classic! fight club’s actual narrator: i am in love with a man Slammed In the Ass By The Alternate Personality I Created to Vent My Frustration With Consumer Culture and My Confused Sense of Masculinity by Chuck Tingle : "Don't worry," Tyler says. "The clear layer is glycerin. You can mix the glycerin back in when you make soap. Or, you can skim the glycerin off." Tyler licks his lips, and turns my hands palm-down on his thigh, on the gummy flannel lap of his bathrobe... "You can mix the glycerin with nitric acid to make nitroglycerin," Tylen says I breathe with my mouth open and say, nitroglycerin. Tyler licks his lips wet and shining and kisses the back of my hand. "You can mix the nitroglycerin with sodium nitrate and sawdust to make dynamite," Tyler says. The kiss shines wet on the back of my white hand. Dynamite, I say, and sit back on my heels. oatscarwilde: blackstar: blackstar: once every few weeks i remember exactly how bad the narrator of fight club wanted tyler durden to raw him and wake up in a cold sweat haunted by the hordes of straight dudes who thought that this character was heterosexual straight dudes: boy, fight club sure does speak to our specific, heterosexual form of masculinity! what a classic! fight club’s actual narrator: i am in love with a man Slammed In the Ass By The Alternate Personality I Created to Vent My Frustration With Consumer Culture and My Confused Sense of Masculinity by Chuck Tingle
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jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message ABORT MISSION This is fucking scary I dont get it.. @explainingthejoke The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads:  nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy! This isn’t a joke. It is just cute. Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about. : via VERY FAST DELIVERY nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details. Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snickt jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message ABORT MISSION This is fucking scary I dont get it.. @explainingthejoke The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads:  nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy! This isn’t a joke. It is just cute. Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.
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NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book: Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "He started putting his penis near her vagina. It was BIG. His penis, that is. Not her vagina. THAT was small. Anyways, so his penis is starting to get near her vagina." -excerpt from the sexy kinky book I'm writing 18:01 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Patti Harrison @Party Harderson once he put his penis near my vagina, THATS when I knew it was going in there soon Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson Then he asked with a smile on his amazing face 'Are you ready for my huge penis stuck in there? Your vagina? and that's when she said, "Yah" and it was time to get it put in Patti Harrison @Party Harderson Had a really really hard time figuring out the quotation marks on this one Patti Harrison @Party Harderson "She arched her back that was unshaved but was naturally hairless. Yes to this sex! She said about it He laughed his pleasure laugh. His Rod was inside & his balls were on the outside the way it ought to be Yes. She screamed each time the cock was in there pokin" Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson That's when he did a move she really liked a lot. He rolled her over on her hairless stomach. 'It's time for it from behind he said, naked Huh? I don't think she heard him It's time for it from behind' he repeated himself moaning during Nice!' She heard him this time Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "Mmm you feel that?" she said getting it in her pussy "Yah it's really good! I love this it's amazing!" he yelled "Mmm really glad you like it." She said, pointing down to her pussy Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson THEN? She start riding on his penis on top of him as if he were a car & she was driving the car! "Awhaaawlm!" she moaned, the pleasure crazy like a big storm "My penis feels so good. It's hard & this life is crazy" smacking his lips "Yah" she nodded, her tits were there Patti Harrison @Party Harderson I abandoned the quotation mark format I started with because I myself could not comprehend it Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson @MaraWilson Replying to @Party_Harderson Put me in rice 19:34 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Christopher Sabat Replying to @Party Harderson Please let me know when you need a narrator for your audiobook. 7:32 30 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book
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NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book: Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "He started putting his penis near her vagina. It was BIG. His penis, that is. Not her vagina. THAT was small. Anyways, so his penis is starting to get near her vagina." -excerpt from the sexy kinky book I'm writing 18:01 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson once he put his penis near my vagina, THAT'S when I knew it was going in there soon Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "Then he asked with a smile on his amazing face 'Are you ready for my huge penis stuck in there? Your vagina?' and that's when she said, "Yah" and it was time to get it put in Patti Harrison @Party Harderson Had a really really hard time figuring out the quotation marks on this one Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson "She arched her back that was unshaved but was naturally hairless. 'Yes to this sex!' She said about it. He laughed his pleasure laugh. His Rod was inside & his balls were on the outside the way it ought to be 'Yes. She screamed each time the cock was in there pokin" Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson That's when he did a move she really liked a lot. He rolled her over on her hairless stomach. 'It's time for it from behind' he said, naked Huh?' I don't think she heard hinm It's time for it from behind' he repeated himself moaning during Nice!' She heard him this time Patti Harrison @Party Harderson "Mmm you feel that?" she said getting it in her pussy "Yah it's really good! I love this it's amazing!" he yelled "Mmm really glad you like it." She said, pointing down to her pussy Patti Harrison @Party_Harderson THEN? She start riding on his penis on top of him as if he were a car & she was driving the car! "Awhaaawlm!" she moaned, the pleasure crazy like a big stormm "My penis feels so good. It's hard & this life is crazy" smacking his lips "Yah" she nodded, her tits were there Patti Harrison @Party Harderson I abandoned the quotation mark format I started with because I myself could not comprehend it Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson @MaraWilson Replying to @Party Harderson Put me in rice 19:34 29 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone Christopher Sabat Replying to@Party_Harderson Please let me know when you need a narrator for your audiobook. 7:32 30 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone NSFW - Patti Harrison Quotes Her Sexy Kinky Book
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rosalindfranklinsnotes: redharvesting: billpottz: romesh ranganathan is the most passionate drunk history narrator of all time “That’s a whole bruvah!” CAPTIONS: Romesh Ranganathan, narrating the re-enactment in his English accented voice: Carnarvon’s half-brother, Mervyn Herbert—DEAD! Aubrey Herbert, his other half-brother—DEAD! That’s a whole brother! DEAD!!! Carter’s secretary, Carter’s secretary, he didn’t have nothin’ to do with it, he just typed the letters—DEAD! DEAD, mate! Murked! Can you believe that shit? There’s a CURSE!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? A CURSE, MATE! YEAH? YOU DON’T GO FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH SOMEONE’S TOMB! [Romesh pauses before continuing in a calm and casual voice] Are you gettin’ my socks in the shot ‘cause I don’t want you to. : rosalindfranklinsnotes: redharvesting: billpottz: romesh ranganathan is the most passionate drunk history narrator of all time “That’s a whole bruvah!” CAPTIONS: Romesh Ranganathan, narrating the re-enactment in his English accented voice: Carnarvon’s half-brother, Mervyn Herbert—DEAD! Aubrey Herbert, his other half-brother—DEAD! That’s a whole brother! DEAD!!! Carter’s secretary, Carter’s secretary, he didn’t have nothin’ to do with it, he just typed the letters—DEAD! DEAD, mate! Murked! Can you believe that shit? There’s a CURSE!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? A CURSE, MATE! YEAH? YOU DON’T GO FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH SOMEONE’S TOMB! [Romesh pauses before continuing in a calm and casual voice] Are you gettin’ my socks in the shot ‘cause I don’t want you to.
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rosalindfranklinsnotes: redharvesting: billpottz: romesh ranganathan is the most passionate drunk history narrator of all time “That’s a whole bruvah!” CAPTIONS: Romesh Ranganathan, narrating the re-enactment in his English accented voice: Carnarvon’s half-brother, Mervyn Herbert—DEAD! Aubrey Herbert, his other half-brother—DEAD! That’s a whole brother! DEAD!!! Carter’s secretary, Carter’s secretary, he didn’t have nothin’ to do with it, he just typed the letters—DEAD! DEAD, mate! Murked! Can you believe that shit? There’s a CURSE!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? A CURSE, MATE! YEAH? YOU DON’T GO FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH SOMEONE’S TOMB! [Romesh pauses before continuing in a calm and casual voice] Are you gettin’ my socks in the shot ‘cause I don’t want you to. : rosalindfranklinsnotes: redharvesting: billpottz: romesh ranganathan is the most passionate drunk history narrator of all time “That’s a whole bruvah!” CAPTIONS: Romesh Ranganathan, narrating the re-enactment in his English accented voice: Carnarvon’s half-brother, Mervyn Herbert—DEAD! Aubrey Herbert, his other half-brother—DEAD! That’s a whole brother! DEAD!!! Carter’s secretary, Carter’s secretary, he didn’t have nothin’ to do with it, he just typed the letters—DEAD! DEAD, mate! Murked! Can you believe that shit? There’s a CURSE!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? A CURSE, MATE! YEAH? YOU DON’T GO FUCKIN’ AROUND WITH SOMEONE’S TOMB! [Romesh pauses before continuing in a calm and casual voice] Are you gettin’ my socks in the shot ‘cause I don’t want you to.
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