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Funny story, so we were sitting at dinner tonight and we're all eating peacefully and i'm putting some kabob in my mouth and all of a sudden my stepdad's phone rings to "HUMP ME, FUCK ME, DADDY BETTER MAKE ME CHOKE" I've never seen I grown man scream so hard, a stepmother slap her children's ears harder AND I HAVE NEVER CHOKED ON LAUGHTER THAT HARD HAHAH... the bad part was that my stepdad's mom is visiting and she just stares at my stepdad and he's just like "....it's work" I LOST IT AND FELL OFF MY CHAIR LITERALLY AND THE CHAIR BROKE I CANNOT. We figured out later that one of his friends did that and he came over and gave him a high five and that guy is offically my fav person - Dialouge from Bob's Burgers: Sam! You saved me! l owe you mylife! Nothanks, Ive seen it and I'm not impressed Funny story, so we were sitting at dinner tonight and we're all eating peacefully and i'm putting some kabob in my mouth and all of a sudden my stepdad's phone rings to "HUMP ME, FUCK ME, DADDY BETTER MAKE ME CHOKE" I've never seen I grown man scream so hard, a stepmother slap her children's ears harder AND I HAVE NEVER CHOKED ON LAUGHTER THAT HARD HAHAH... the bad part was that my stepdad's mom is visiting and she just stares at my stepdad and he's just like "....it's work" I LOST IT AND FELL OFF MY CHAIR LITERALLY AND THE CHAIR BROKE I CANNOT. We figured out later that one of his friends did that and he came over and gave him a high five and that guy is offically my fav person - Dialouge from Bob's Burgers
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See bruh I'm jealous. I get cold AF in the winter. I WISH God made me a hairy body hairy chest hairy feet furry paws lookin ass boy. Like my Armenian homies. Or Assyrian. Or Persian. Them motherfuckers bears, bruh - real ass wild animals with carpets on they front and back. Warm AF all winter rolling around in a carpet that God gave them by DNA. Me? Bruh I got eight chest hairs. Eight. I shave them bitches hoping they grow back quicker - low and behold they take two months to sprout back up šŸ˜„. Got me envious AF of u manly ass hairball lookin men. Ayeeee them muscles poke out more under smooth skin tho so I guess I got that going for me šŸ˜Š. All u ladies who want a man who u could oil up and pet like a sexy ass dolphin come holla at me. But if u want a man where u could get lost in his thick patch of body hair and wake up in a bazaar in Turkey where they serve kabobs and black tea with mint I ain't the one šŸ˜‚. Ayeeee ... can't be everyone to everybody. U just gotta be everything to somebody. Ya get me! Bless up šŸ˜šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚: if you are sad please look at this Dr Smashlove See bruh I'm jealous. I get cold AF in the winter. I WISH God made me a hairy body hairy chest hairy feet furry paws lookin ass boy. Like my Armenian homies. Or Assyrian. Or Persian. Them motherfuckers bears, bruh - real ass wild animals with carpets on they front and back. Warm AF all winter rolling around in a carpet that God gave them by DNA. Me? Bruh I got eight chest hairs. Eight. I shave them bitches hoping they grow back quicker - low and behold they take two months to sprout back up šŸ˜„. Got me envious AF of u manly ass hairball lookin men. Ayeeee them muscles poke out more under smooth skin tho so I guess I got that going for me šŸ˜Š. All u ladies who want a man who u could oil up and pet like a sexy ass dolphin come holla at me. But if u want a man where u could get lost in his thick patch of body hair and wake up in a bazaar in Turkey where they serve kabobs and black tea with mint I ain't the one šŸ˜‚. Ayeeee ... can't be everyone to everybody. U just gotta be everything to somebody. Ya get me! Bless up šŸ˜šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
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This one day I wanted to feel what's it's like to be a Caucasian. So I ordered red wine with a medium cooked steak. I usually get it medium well or well done because I can't be biting a raw cow fam, ya feel me? But that day was a Caucasian day so I had to get the most rawest cooked steak. I got my red wine to go along with it. My waiter brings me the meal I'm doing the most with that wine Infront of him. Like having my pinky raised and sniffin that shit and rotating the glass then sniffing it again. Knowing damn well I don't know what the fuck I'm sniffing. I'm used to drinking mango lassi with kabobs so when I tasted that red wine......bruhhhhhh I wanted my $14 back ASAP. Then I cut into my steak and the fucking blood spurred out. I realized I didn't wanna be a Caucasian no more. I went to "laziz biryani corner" right after. Smh $60 gone to waste. (@mo_wad): When the waiter brings out the wine and u have to do the weird taste test acting like u didn't chug wine from a bag in college Camo wad This one day I wanted to feel what's it's like to be a Caucasian. So I ordered red wine with a medium cooked steak. I usually get it medium well or well done because I can't be biting a raw cow fam, ya feel me? But that day was a Caucasian day so I had to get the most rawest cooked steak. I got my red wine to go along with it. My waiter brings me the meal I'm doing the most with that wine Infront of him. Like having my pinky raised and sniffin that shit and rotating the glass then sniffing it again. Knowing damn well I don't know what the fuck I'm sniffing. I'm used to drinking mango lassi with kabobs so when I tasted that red wine......bruhhhhhh I wanted my $14 back ASAP. Then I cut into my steak and the fucking blood spurred out. I realized I didn't wanna be a Caucasian no more. I went to "laziz biryani corner" right after. Smh $60 gone to waste. (@mo_wad)
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