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Click, Fucking, and Funny: 23+ Incredible Tumblr Posts That Are Must Watch the-man-who-sold-za-warudo Knight: I have trained in all forms of combat and weapons since birth. I cannot be bested Some horsecock motherfucker: Knight: What the fuck cerastes OH FUCK YESI GET TO TALK ABOUT LANTERN SHIELDS. For anyone seeing this post and wondering what kind of unholy heresy is currently having a blacksmithing orgy in front of their eyes, this is called a Lantern Shield. This came from, YOU GUESSED IT, fucking Italy, home of lunatic steel-weaving mother fuckers who often simply looked at each other and by each other, I mean their frenzied reflections in their shattered mirrors, and said "WHAT IF WE JUST DO THINGS", which is, as we all know, Aunt Jemima's recipe for success. Lantern Shields were very indicative: They were meant to be bucklers that could carry a lantern, oftentimes for night time duels Now, you're wondering, why carry a lantern on a night duel when it could just prove detrimental to your overall movement? Why, to blind the mother fucker, of coursel But, see, and this is the funny thing about Italy, when Italian blacksmiths realized that they could just add hook to a buckler, they noticed they could also just add whatever the thrice condemned shit they wanted to them, so they started forging stakes, spikes, and blades that protruded out of the buckler and gauntlet as additional defense against anyone who, due to the poor visibility of mist shrouded, dark blanketed nights, would just walk right into your handheld barracks. mean, nothing better than a bloke closing the distance to you losing an eye or six because they didn't consider you might just carry a porcupine on your arm, right? Some specimens exists, but these are not numerous. If you know of or possess an actual, physical Lantern Shield, congratulations, you probably have an item that likely killed. Source: the-man-who-sold-za-warudo Jan 26th, 2019 3,068 notes Sarcasm Goal Click to see full list 23+ Incredible Tumblr Posts That Are Must Watch #funny #memes #lol #humor #hilarious #tumblr
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Amber Rose, Best Friend, and Bones: tumblr nly-johnny-dep # Believe!im 3. The op-ed's clear implication that Mr. Depp is a domestic abuser is categorically and demonstrably false. Mr. Depp never abused Ms. Heard. Her allegations against him were false when they were made in 2016. They were part of an elaborate hoax to generate positive publicity for Ms. Heard and advance her career. Ms. Heard's false allegations against Mr. Depp have benconclusivlrfed by two pndng polie offices, a litany of neutral third-party witnesses, and 87 newly obtained surveillance camera videos. With a prior arrest for violent domestic abuse and having confessed under oath to a series of violent attacks on Mr. Depp, Ms. Heard is not a victim of domestic abuse; she is a perpetrator. Ms. Heard violently abused Mr. Depp, just as she was caught and arrested for violently abusing her former domestic artner. In one particularly gruesome episode that occurred only one month into their marriage, Ms. Heard shattered the bones in the tip of Mr. Depp's right middle finger, almost completely cutting it off. Ms. Heard threw a glass vodka bottle at Mr. Depp-one of many projectiles that she launched at him in this and other instances. The bottle shattered as it came into contact with Mr. Depp's hand, and the broken glass and impact severed and shattered Mr. Depp's finger. Mr. Depp's finger had to be surgically reattached. Ms. Heard then disseminated false accounts of this incident, casting Mr. Depp as the perpetrator of his own injury odinoco: only-johnny-depp: “The thing that hurt me is being presented as something that you’re really as far away from as you could possibly get, you know?” – Johnny Depp for the British GQ, October/2018 I’m sorry for the long post, but I had to say something….On the last 24 hours, Johnny has been in the news again, but now showing more proofs that SHE, Amber, is the who committed acts of domestic violence towards him. For me (and I think ALL of his fans) was – and still is – disgusting to read all the things that Johnny suffered… It’s beyond shocking!    For the damage to his career, Johnny is suing Amber in $50 million for her “false allegations” against him: “an elaborate hoax to generate positive publicity” for her to “advance her career”, which made her a darling of the #MeToo movement, made her the first actress named a “Human Rights Champion of the United Nations Human Rights Office”, also was appointed “ambassador on women’s rights” at the American Civil Liberties Union, hired by L'Oreal Paris as its “global spokesperson and some people also believes that all of it opened the doors to her starring in “Aquaman”. While she was enjoying the attention, Johnny was, and still suffers consequences in his career, such as boycotts that some “haters” still makes. The whole new evidences are a rollercoaster of shocking things: The “eonline” revealed that he was dropped from his role on “Pirates of the Caribbean” days after she published her piece in the Washington Post in 2018.  The numbers of proofs against Amber, rose so much that from the at least 29 evidences, some months ago, now has at least 87 newly evidences. This numbers are just from surveillance camera videos. An employee of the building reviewed building surveillance videos three days after the alleged incident where Amber claimed that Johnny attacked her, and “testified under oath that she saw Whitney Heard pretend to punch her sister in the face. Then Ms. Heard, Ms. Pennington (Heard’s best friend), and Whitney Heard all laughed.” I think the biggest new lie that broke my heart was the “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales ” incident: If you can’t remember, back to 2015, everybody was caught up by surprise when Johnny had to head back to USA from Australia to make a surgery in his finger, caused (at that time) for “unknown reasons.” Some time before, Amber claiming that he “he was the perpetrator of his own injury” because he punched a wall and throw a glass during a quarrel. Now was revealed that SHE WAS THE ONE WHO F*CKING THREW A BOTTLE OF VODKA AT HIM!!! Due to the impact, the bottle shattered when he made contact with his hand, cutting his finger almost to the bone, which had to be surgically reattached, and delaying the filming of POTC in a month. At that time, she claimed that   Was revealed that Johnny has proofs that Amber was “spending some questionable time” with Tesla founder Elon Musk during their short marriage. While Johnny was working, he also claims Musk was given access to his home to spend the night with Heard on the same night she “presented her battered face to the public.”  Amber keep giving the excuse of “confidentiality restrictions”, due to a divorce agreement in August 2016 “which prevent her from assisting the defendants with evidence to support their case”, but, the British judge, Mr. Justice Nicklin, announced: “I am not satisfied on the current evidence that Ms. Heard’s concerns about the restrictions that the divorce agreement imposes on her are well-founded.” Mr Justice Nicklin said that Johnny had stated clearly in his evidence to the court that he expects Heard give evidence in the proceedings, and “he will not attempt to prevent that” and added “The fact that Ms Heard presently thinks that there is some impediment to her giving evidence for the defendants is nothing to do with Mr Depp. Even if she were right, there would appear to be a number of ways of resolving the issue that have not yet been explored adequately or at all.”Now tell me: How can Amber claims to be a victim if EVERYTHING goes against her and she didn’t even is defending herself? Her lawyer, Eric M. George, called Johnny’s lawsuit “frivolous” and accused him of being “hell-bent on achieving self-destruction,” and said: “This frivolous action is just the latest of Johnny Depp’s repeated efforts to silence Amber Heard. She will not be silenced.” But guess what! He didn’t even saw the papers! He only saw parts of the lawsuit release by media! (what a joke!) Until now she said ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, but CONFESSED UNDER OATH to a series of violent attacks TOWARDS Johnny!!!Guys, I’m so sorry for a long post, but I’m still astonished after all of it. Again,  It’s not hard to understand what’s going on. It’s not hard to understand who is the abuser and the one trying to destroy a life. It’s not hard to choose the right side. Johnny only wants to stop all these false and defamatory publications and live his life. He just want to prove the truth, and has no fear of her “evidences”.Another proof we cannot forget of how Johnny is innocent, are his most recent movies. If Johnny had done what Amber says, do you believe that all the actors and directors who had work with Johnny since 2016, would still collaborate with him? Friendship is broken when a lie is told, so do you believe that his friends would still being his friends if it was true? That the Hollywood Vampires and his personal crew would still on his side? Don’t you ever thought how many times Johnny had to prove them that he is innocent, and how hard is he working to show the truth to the world? It’s sad that even after all of it, people still don’t believe him.If you read until here, I highly thank you, and I’d like you all to share your thoughts on your social media too. Show your support to Johnny!Please, for more information read these articles: E NEWS: Johnny Depp Files $50 Million Lawsuit Against Amber Heard BRITISH: https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/johnny-depp-interview-2018 PRESS GAZETTE: Sun fails in bid to halt Johnny Depp libel action over ‘wife-beater’ claim BLAST: Johnny Depp Claims Amber Heard Started Improper ‘Relationship’ With Elon Musk 1-Month After Marriage BLAST: Johnny Depp Files $50 Million Defamation Lawsuit Against Amber Heard, Calls Her Abuse Claims an ‘Elaborate Hoax’ ET Canada:  Johnny Depp Files $50 Million Defamation Lawsuit Against Amber Heard, Actress’ Attorney Responds We Are Always With You Johnny! Oh look, the person who made a bunch of claims with little to no proof has been ousted as a liar What a FUCKING SHOCK, AIN’T THAT RIGHT?
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Confused, Head, and Jesus: Tyler Follow Really_Silent Kylie Jenner looks so much better without makeup to me idk why. Im prob just weird * Follow @hereforsmolder Nikki looks better without makeup, we can see her natural beauty. DI YCA FOX hre Jlive LAD DFOX WILDFOX YKE UP AYK RETWEET LIKES 4 dark skin king @sluttyblackboy Follow The fact that she probably isn't wearing any makeup and is still stunning.... Jesus Christ. This is a picture of Jenna Jameson before all the surgeries and without makeup. 11Wow. (SFW) G.imgur.com) submitted 3 years ago by owenstumor 1007 comments share pocket I was afraid you guys would t anything but, wears Stila Four Pan hinn was too is Bronze Set and Frieda Sheer Blonde Curvaceo HEAD OVER HEELS WITH Mick O'Hara 오. Follow Ken Doll GKenyeWest15 # . Follow mick_ohara aylor swift without makeup on #TaylorSwift Yo, Taylor Swift without makeup caught me by surprise. She's way prettier without it www.cambio.com Wonderland. Wonderlain Pinit TAYLOR 55 PM-21 Nov 2014 shattered-angel456: periegesisvoid: socialnetworkhell: buzzfeed: Here Are Some People Who Are Very Confused About What “No Makeup” Looks Like Woman: wearing foundation, powder, blush, bronzer, highlight, false lashes, mascara, nude lipstick, brow powder eyeshadow Man: she doesn’t have red lipstick on so that means no makeup like 3 of them are wearing very visible winged eyeliner i’m screaming Literally goes to show men don’t actually give a shit or even notice the make up, men aren’t the ones asking for women to wear all this make up, it’s women choosing it to compete with other women. If all women everywhere stopped wearing it, men wouldn’t even care and would accept it as the new standard. 
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Beautiful, Cars, and Friday: When gunman advanced on New Zealand mosque, this man ran at him Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths The Associated Press Posted: Mar 16, 2019 6:54 AM ET Last Updated: an hour ago Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood mosque in Christchurch. (Vincent Thian/Associated Press) solacekames: When the gunman advanced toward the mosque, killing those in his path, Abdul Aziz didn’t hide. Instead, he picked up the first thing he could find, a credit card machine, and ran outside screaming “Come here!” Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood mosque in Christchurch after leading the gunman in a cat-and-mouse chase before scaring him into speeding away in his car. But Aziz, whose four sons and dozens of others remained in the mosque while he faced off with the gunman, said he thinks it’s what anyone would have done. The gunman killed 49 people after attacking two mosques in the deadliest mass shooting in New Zealand’s modern history. […] He said he could hear his two youngest sons, aged 11 and 5, urging him to come back inside. The gunman returned, firing. Aziz said he ran, weaving through cars parked in the driveway, which prevented the gunman from getting a clean shot. Then Aziz spotted a gun the gunman had abandoned and picked it up, pointed it and squeezed the trigger. It was empty. He said the gunman ran back to the car for a second time, likely to grab yet another weapon. “He gets into his car and I just got the gun and threw it on his window like an arrow and blasted his window,” he said. The windshield shattered: “That’s why he got scared.” He said the gunman was cursing at him, yelling that he was going to kill them all. But he drove away and Aziz said he chased the car down the street to a red light, before it made a U-turn and sped away. Online videos indicate police officers managed to force the car from the road and drag out the suspect soon after. Originally from Kabul, Afghanistan, Aziz said he left as a refugee when he was a boy and lived for more than 25 years in Australia before moving to New Zealand a couple of years ago.“I’ve been to a lot of countries and this is one of the beautiful ones,” he said. And, he always thought, a peaceful one as well. Aziz said he didn’t feel fear or much of anything when facing the gunman. It was like he was on autopilot. And he believes that Allah didn’t think it was his time to die.

solacekames: When the gunman advanced toward the mosque, killing those in his path, Abdul Aziz didn’t hide. Instead, he picked up the first ...

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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares onceuponamirror: helenofhere: snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind: This is the most important post on this platform since early 2016. WE ARE NOT FUCKING IT UP TWICE. DO NOT LET PROPAGANDA AND MANIPULATION DIVIDE US AGAINST GETTING THIS MONSTER OUT. thanks
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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind:
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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares heatheralicewatson: snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind: You can have a favorite in the primaries, and even make a passionate case for your favorite, without drilling down on why the other candidates are monsters. You really truly can.
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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind:
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Being Alone, Club, and cnn.com: Strange Fruit. @LaEtchi If I'm "cockblocking" my friend it's because she wants me to do it, trust me lol 09/04/2014 13:55 alloutofreeds: im-not-trash-im-recyclable: blazeblastomega: gordoananke: ohhmelancholy: misunderst00ds0ul: joybeeeez: guys never realize that.  Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard. cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary. A woman says no, I don’t want to go to prom with you, and gets stabbed to death. A woman says no, I will not sleep with you, and a man go on a shooting spree.  A woman says no, I will not give you my number, and is shot outside the club. A woman says no, I don’t want you to buy me a drink, and a man shattered a glass across her face.  A woman say no, I’m a lesbian, and a man shoots both her and her girlfriend while they slept in their home. A woman says no, I don’t want to be with you any more, and a man stabs her to death and murders her dog. A woman says no, stop harassing these teenagers, and a group of men beat her to death with stones and bats, smashing her skull on the pavement. A woman says no, we aren’t married any more, leave me alone, and a man shoots her to death. A woman says no, we work together but I’m not interested in you romantically, and a man shoots her to death whilst she’s working.  A woman says no, I don’t want to sleep with you, and a man rapes, murders and then hangs her from a tree. A woman says no, I’m not interested, and a man slashes her neck open. A woman says no, I never cheated on you, and a man beats her. A woman says no, I want a divorce, and a man cuts her neck open and stabs her multiple times. You want us to start telling you no? You don’t want us to play games? Teach your fellow men to stop murdering us for it. oh I will always reblog this. Everyone should see it. I would like to add: A girl says no, boy murders her (and several others) in a school shooting.
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Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

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Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

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Being Alone, Club, and cnn.com: Strange Fruit. @LaEtchi If I'm "cockblocking" my friend it's because she wants me to do it, trust me lol 09/04/2014 13:55 alloutofreeds: im-not-trash-im-recyclable: blazeblastomega: gordoananke: ohhmelancholy: misunderst00ds0ul: joybeeeez: guys never realize that.  Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard. cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary. A woman says no, I don’t want to go to prom with you, and gets stabbed to death. A woman says no, I will not sleep with you, and a man go on a shooting spree.  A woman says no, I will not give you my number, and is shot outside the club. A woman says no, I don’t want you to buy me a drink, and a man shattered a glass across her face.  A woman say no, I’m a lesbian, and a man shoots both her and her girlfriend while they slept in their home. A woman says no, I don’t want to be with you any more, and a man stabs her to death and murders her dog. A woman says no, stop harassing these teenagers, and a group of men beat her to death with stones and bats, smashing her skull on the pavement. A woman says no, we aren’t married any more, leave me alone, and a man shoots her to death. A woman says no, we work together but I’m not interested in you romantically, and a man shoots her to death whilst she’s working.  A woman says no, I don’t want to sleep with you, and a man rapes, murders and then hangs her from a tree. A woman says no, I’m not interested, and a man slashes her neck open. A woman says no, I never cheated on you, and a man beats her. A woman says no, I want a divorce, and a man cuts her neck open and stabs her multiple times. You want us to start telling you no? You don’t want us to play games? Teach your fellow men to stop murdering us for it. oh I will always reblog this. Everyone should see it. I would like to add:A girl says no, boy murders her (and several others) in a school shooting.
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Android, Apple, and Friends: when an android user drops their phone & the battery pops out This is the most ghetto sh*t I've ever seen in my life. thisisnotjuli: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: superpagangirl: Oh man a battery that comes out that means it can be replaced thats so shit, ya know the ability to change the battery when it barely holds charge just ugh i love phones that break when the wind changes that are a decade behind specs wise Id rather a phone where the battery pops out then a phone that’s shatters at a tap Or a phone thats not worth £50 that costs £400 Man iPhone ain’t worth it Yea no shit a fuckin £1000 phone that is glass all over and features animated emojis Look at me I’m an iPhone user..whoops my phone is in shards but it’s worth it Apple device user: i dropped it and it broke into piecesAndroid user: i fuckin tossed my phone at a wall and it was ok Apple user: so I rubbed my phone with my shirt and it’s crackedAndroid user: no big deal just a scratch after I hit mine with a car you guys don’t realise how real this shit is; I’ve seen like 5 shattered screens in androids phones in my hole life and like 2 of them where just a tiny thing. you know how many shattered iPhone screens I’ve seen? more than I can count. I think it’s easier to count my friends who didn’t shatter their iPhone in the first five months than the other way around. and this is just talking bout the screens don’t get me started on the actual phone
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