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Being Alone, America, and Apparently: I brought this in because the School cannot OFord soap. ess you Hands Feeling Soft FL0 236 mb bandbandbandbandbandbamd: mehofkirkwall: lost-carcosa: hntrgurl13: stariousfalls: jolenemeghan: bailieinabottle: sonicmeplease: yall-mothafuckas-need-misha: theoneandonlystraycat: letmeshinebright: derinthemadscientist: gooseweasel: derinthemadscientist: averyoddfishindeed: derinthemadscientist: bluecinnamonbunzuh: evanj2014: flyfella: leviathans-in-the-tardis: me-myself-and-will: carrot0nesie: ladies and gentlemen, the american education system My school apparently ran out of toilet paper a few weeks ago and my Spanish teacher was telling the girls to keep a roll in their purses and the guys to keep a roll in our backpacks. North American Education system. this is basically any public school in the world tbh bet the football teams have new equiptment though Whoop there it is No I’m not even kidding I bet my life that there is equipment and a well managed field for the football team. Probably a good baseball and basketball team for guys. Other sports not so much. This is NOT any public schooling system in the world! Australian public schools do not have this problem! How the fuck does a school not afford basic bathroom amenities?! If that happened here there would be an immediate school funding revision campaign! I assume you guys are joking about the football teams because there’s no way overblown American sports movies are real. Does your government just… not fund schools?  A running joke in my high school is “…but we can’t afford paper!” because a few years ago, my entire school system had us recycling each and every scrap and refusing to pay to get teachers copier paper. We were all asked to bring in our own paper, because school just wasn’t going to provide paper anything. Ironically, same year the football field was renovated. That… That can’t possibly be right.  My high school had chunks of the ceiling falling down periodically, because of water and mold damage. I remember being in the gym for basketball practice and a huge grate fell down and scared the crap out of us. No one was ever hurt, and the state health department declared the levels of mold to be “not immediately dangerous” and so it was left alone. They once had to close down an entire section of hallway and stairs because one year, the toilets flooded on the second floor and soaked into the ceiling and walls. The next year, a chunk of ceiling fell out right below that, and the toxic variety of black mold was found. Again, the levels were “not dangerous” so they blocked off the area for a few weeks (making it impossible to get to class on time) until it was “cleaned up”. There were no windows, because when the school was built it was right next to an international airport (that has since moved) and the noise was too much at the time. So in order to keep the air flowing, they pumped air conditioning year round, including winter. And yes- the football field was in fact completely renovated before the buildings were even touched. 5 years prior to the original start date of high school building renovations. Also, while the football field was built with out a single hiccup, the school renovation was actually stopped after it started and halted for 4 years because the town didn’t want to spend the money on it. People argued that taxes shouldn’t be raised for that since they felt the buildings were fine as they were. Welcome to American public schools.  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR SCHOOL SYSTEM?? FOOTBALL OVERT RELIGIOUS LOBBYING SCHOOL SHOOTINGS CRUMBLING BUILDINGS AND NO SOAP DO YOU LIVE IN A SEMI-DYSTOPIAN NOVEL A few years ago the music program lost funding for all things musical and we have to raise all our money ourself. And in addition to that, in the music hall the ceiling started to fall in and flood the band lockers and there are still whole tiles not in the ceiling from the water. But you know what the football team got all new uniforms. American schools have always sucked ass. Now you all know why. I remember one year we were all walking around for a week or so with all the hallway lights turned off so we could save money. School lunch was a joke. There weren’t enough text books for everyone. I got a D in calculus because I had no book. The theatre department had to have car washes on Sundays to raise money. But of course football was the only concern. I remember the yearbook had like the first 20 pages dedicated to sports and then the rest of us had one page, if that. My senior year, our theatre page had to share with the foreign exchange students. You know in Glee when all the glee kids have to raise money for everything and Sue spends a shit ton of money on the cheerleaders? Not even an exaggeration. Our theater program funding was cut to send our football team to St. Louis. They didn’t win anything but they tried really hard so they deserved a team trip. If this shit happened in England there would uproar I went to a private school where I was the French Club President, and our advisor was privately informed that all of the money we had been raising all year long would be absorbed into the Athletic Fund if there was anything left at the end of the school year. In response to this injustice, we decided to make an annual event a month before school ended where we would all go the Refectory (aka a fancy French restaurant in the city) and spend every single cent of our hard earned treasury. Like, this was just ONE instance that affected me personally. Things like this happen all the time in the United States. All throughout my experience with public schools in America (all 14 years of it), I always remembered that when we had to buy our own school supplies, and we were always told to buy classroom supplies like kleenexs, soap, hand sanitizers, and more. Because once the classroom ran out of this stuff we had nothing. And once I got into high school no one ever brought this stuff for the classrooms so I always found mucus rubbed on the walls in some classrooms and bathrooms and it’s was absolutely disgusting. And guess where all our money from the state went to? The high school football team. Within the past year or so our taxes went up because my old high school expanded the football field’s bleachers/seating. Also, despite all of our signatures in our town for a petition to prevent a ‘student activity center’ being built next to the school where it would be for the most important student athletes, the school got their way. And guess who doesn’t have enough money to support their programs? The fine arts programs. I had friends who were in choir, band, etc. that had to find ways to raise money for their programs since the school never cared to fund them. It’s either that, or the teachers pull money off of their paycheck to provide supplies for their students (and public school teachers don’t have good salaries anyways in the US), whereas the school uses all their state funds for the football team. It’s ridiculous, and I’m glad I’m no longer in high school having to deal with a school who worships their football team, while all the other programs suffer to remain in the school. I haven’t been in highschool in 7 years but my brother is currently in highschool. Apparently the school is in much worse condition than when I left, with some classes having lessons outside because the a/c was busted and the school refused to fix it. Programs related to art are royally screwed and have to raise their own money or find their own supplies. We had to go DUMPSTER DIVING for art supplies. In Pom (dance team) we had to raise our own money for a Disney trip despite Disney having invited us to perform after we had won multiple state championships. Same happened to the cheer team the following year after I graduated. Performing arts often has to make their own sets from whatever scrap gets donated or gets found by teachers/students. We had to raise all kinds of money and were forced to reduce prices of tickets for performances because “people shouldn’t have to pay that much for a show” by the school (our shows were $10). Band is still in the same shitty facility as it was when I was there with shitty acoustics and shittier uniforms. But you can bet your ass the football team got all kinds of goodies. Like new equipment, new uniforms, new gym equipment and A FUCKING INDOOR FOOTBALL FIELD! Our team sucked when I was in highschool and they still suck now. The school is letting teachers go due to budget cuts but they’re STILL hiring a new coach just because the last one (who had only been there a year) didn’t win a championship (which football hasn’t won a championship in almost 30 years). Coaches get paid more than regular teachers even if they don’t teach a subject aside from football. They also often bully other teachers into boosting a students’ grade just so they won’t be ineligible to play an upcoming game. This is why I hate highschool football. In America it’s seen as a religion. Football takes priority before EVERYTHING even though hardly any students have a career in football after highschool or college. Even though most scholarships are based on academics and OTHER extra curricular activities. But fuck that, the football team gets all the money. Fuck football. Infographic: Is Your State’s Highest-Paid Employee A Coach? (Probably) There is a reason people who didn’t play sports in school hated people who did with a fucking passion Our band won 1st all season and it was hardly mentioned meanwhile football getting 4th was top priority on the announcements. Plus, the entire instrumental music program ran out of funds 3 months in. We are one of the highest funded music programs in the district.
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Being Alone, America, and Apparently: I brought this in because the School cannot OFord soap. ess you Hands Feeling Soft FL0 236 mb <p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/170126809673/keyhollow-blizzrhy-keyhollow" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/170126619390/blizzrhy-keyhollow-haiku-robot" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://blizzrhy.tumblr.com/post/170123734002/keyhollow-haiku-robot-lost-carcosa" class="tumblr_blog">blizzrhy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://keyhollow.tumblr.com/post/170123126325/haiku-robot-lost-carcosa-hntrgurl13" class="tumblr_blog">keyhollow</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://haiku-robot.tumblr.com/post/170112696403/lost-carcosa-hntrgurl13-stariousfalls" class="tumblr_blog">haiku-robot</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lost-carcosa.tumblr.com/post/162293435326/hntrgurl13-stariousfalls-jolenemeghan" class="tumblr_blog">lost-carcosa</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://hntrgurl13.tumblr.com/post/162236992847/stariousfalls-jolenemeghan-bailieinabottle" class="tumblr_blog">hntrgurl13</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://stariousfalls.tumblr.com/post/161544315640/jolenemeghan-bailieinabottle-sonicmeplease" class="tumblr_blog">stariousfalls</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://jolenemeghan.tumblr.com/post/161432650755/bailieinabottle-sonicmeplease" class="tumblr_blog">jolenemeghan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bailieinabottle.tumblr.com/post/161388254596/sonicmeplease-yall-mothafuckas-need-misha" class="tumblr_blog">bailieinabottle</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sonicmeplease.tumblr.com/post/113477739536/yall-mothafuckas-need-misha" class="tumblr_blog">sonicmeplease</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://yall-mothafuckas-need-misha.tumblr.com/post/113471568080/theoneandonlystraycat-letmeshinebright" class="tumblr_blog">yall-mothafuckas-need-misha</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://theoneandonlystraycat.tumblr.com/post/113422611417/letmeshinebright-derinthemadscientist" class="tumblr_blog">theoneandonlystraycat</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://letmeshinebright.tumblr.com/post/101773924248/derinthemadscientist-gooseweasel" class="tumblr_blog">letmeshinebright</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://derinthemadscientist.tumblr.com/post/101235421650/gooseweasel-derinthemadscientist" class="tumblr_blog">derinthemadscientist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://gooseweasel.tumblr.com/post/101235305352/derinthemadscientist-averyoddfishindeed" class="tumblr_blog">gooseweasel</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://derinthemadscientist.tumblr.com/post/101234477195/averyoddfishindeed-derinthemadscientist" class="tumblr_blog">derinthemadscientist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://averyoddfishindeed.tumblr.com/post/101234370965/derinthemadscientist-bluecinnamonbunzuh" class="tumblr_blog">averyoddfishindeed</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://derinthemadscientist.tumblr.com/post/101232000515/bluecinnamonbunzuh-evanj2014-flyfella" class="tumblr_blog">derinthemadscientist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bluecinnamonbunzuh.tumblr.com/post/101203669855/evanj2014-flyfella" class="tumblr_blog">bluecinnamonbunzuh</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://evanj2014.tumblr.com/post/96738477942/flyfella-leviathans-in-the-tardis" class="tumblr_blog">evanj2014</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://flyfella.tumblr.com/post/96713584625/leviathans-in-the-tardis-me-myself-and-will" class="tumblr_blog">flyfella</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://leviathans-in-the-tardis.tumblr.com/post/87762723521/me-myself-and-will-carrot0nesie-ladies-and" class="tumblr_blog">leviathans-in-the-tardis</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://me-myself-and-will.tumblr.com/post/87749361435/carrot0nesie-ladies-and-gentlemen-the-american" class="tumblr_blog">me-myself-and-will</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://carrot0nesie.tumblr.com/post/87740046627/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-american-education" class="tumblr_blog">carrot0nesie</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>ladies and gentlemen, the american education system</p> </blockquote> <p>My school apparently ran out of toilet paper a few weeks ago and my Spanish teacher was telling the girls to keep a roll in their purses and the guys to keep a roll in our backpacks. North American Education system.</p> </blockquote> <p>this is basically any public school in the world tbh</p> </blockquote> <p>bet the football teams have new equiptment though</p> </blockquote> <p>Whoop there it is</p> </blockquote> <p>No I’m not even kidding I bet my life that there is equipment and a well managed field for the football team. Probably a good baseball and basketball team for guys. Other sports not so much.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is NOT any public schooling system in the world! Australian public schools do not have this problem! How the fuck does a school not afford basic bathroom amenities?! If that happened here there would be an immediate school funding revision campaign! I assume you guys are joking about the football teams because there’s no way overblown American sports movies are real. Does your government just… not fund schools? </p> </blockquote> <p>A running joke in my high school is “…but we can’t afford paper!” because a few years ago, my entire school system had us recycling each and every scrap and refusing to pay to get teachers copier paper. We were all asked to bring in our own paper, because school just wasn’t going to provide paper anything. Ironically, same year the football field was renovated.</p> </blockquote> <p>That…</p> <p>That can’t possibly be right. </p> </blockquote> <p>My high school had chunks of the ceiling falling down periodically, because of water and mold damage. I remember being in the gym for basketball practice and a huge grate fell down and scared the crap out of us. No one was ever hurt, and the state health department declared the levels of mold to be “not immediately dangerous” and so it was left alone. <br/><br/>They once had to close down an entire section of hallway and stairs because one year, the toilets flooded on the second floor and soaked into the ceiling and walls. The next year, a chunk of ceiling fell out right below that, and the toxic variety of black mold was found. Again, the levels were “not dangerous” so they blocked off the area for a few weeks (making it impossible to get to class on time) until it was “cleaned up”. There were no windows, because when the school was built it was right next to an international airport (that has since moved) and the noise was too much at the time. So in order to keep the air flowing, they pumped air conditioning year round, including winter. <br/><br/>And yes- the football field was in fact completely renovated before the buildings were even touched. 5 years prior to the original start date of high school building renovations. Also, while the football field was built with out a single hiccup, the school renovation was actually stopped after it started and halted for 4 years because the town didn’t want to spend the money on it. People argued that taxes shouldn’t be raised for that since they felt the buildings were fine as they were. Welcome to American public schools. </p> </blockquote> <p>WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR SCHOOL SYSTEM??</p> <p>FOOTBALL</p> <p>OVERT RELIGIOUS LOBBYING</p> <p>SCHOOL SHOOTINGS</p> <p>CRUMBLING BUILDINGS AND NO SOAP</p> <p>DO YOU LIVE IN A SEMI-DYSTOPIAN NOVEL</p> </blockquote> <p>A few years ago the music program lost funding for all things musical and we have to raise all our money ourself. And in addition to that, in the music hall the ceiling started to fall in and flood the band lockers and there are still whole tiles not in the ceiling from the water. But you know what the football team got all new uniforms.</p> </blockquote> <p>American schools have always sucked ass. Now you all know why.</p> </blockquote> <p>I remember one year we were all walking around for a week or so with all the hallway lights turned off so we could save money. School lunch was a joke. There weren’t enough text books for everyone. I got a D in calculus because I had no book. The theatre department had to have car washes on Sundays to raise money. But of course football was the only concern. I remember the yearbook had like the first 20 pages dedicated to sports and then the rest of us had one page, if that. My senior year, our theatre page had to share with the foreign exchange students.</p> <p>You know in Glee when all the glee kids have to raise money for everything and Sue spends a shit ton of money on the cheerleaders? Not even an exaggeration.</p> </blockquote> <p>Our theater program funding was cut to send our football team to St. Louis. They didn’t win anything but they tried really hard so they deserved a team trip.</p> </blockquote> <p>If this shit happened in England there would uproar</p> </blockquote> <p>I went to a private school where I was the French Club President, and our advisor was privately informed that all of the money we had been raising all year long would be absorbed into the Athletic Fund if there was anything left at the end of the school year. In response to this injustice, we decided to make an annual event a month before school ended where we would all go the Refectory (aka a fancy French restaurant in the city) and spend every single cent of our hard earned treasury. Like, this was just ONE instance that affected me personally. Things like this happen all the time in the United States.</p> </blockquote> <p>All throughout my experience with public schools in America (all 14 years of it), I always remembered that when we had to buy our own school supplies, and we were always told to buy classroom supplies like kleenexs, soap, hand sanitizers, and more. Because once the classroom ran out of this stuff we had nothing. And once I got into high school no one ever brought this stuff for the classrooms so I always found mucus rubbed on the walls in some classrooms and bathrooms and it’s was absolutely disgusting.</p> <p>And guess where all our money from the state went to? The high school football team. Within the past year or so our taxes went up because my old high school expanded the football field’s bleachers/seating. Also, despite all of our signatures in our town for a petition to prevent a ‘student activity center’ being built next to the school where it would be for the most important student athletes, the school got their way. And guess who doesn’t have enough money to support their programs? The fine arts programs. I had friends who were in choir, band, etc. that had to find ways to raise money for their programs since the school never cared to fund them. It’s either that, or the teachers pull money off of their paycheck to provide supplies for their students (and public school teachers don’t have good salaries anyways in the US), whereas the school uses all their state funds for the football team. It’s ridiculous, and I’m glad I’m no longer in high school having to deal with a school who worships their football team, while all the other programs suffer to remain in the school.</p> </blockquote> <p>I haven’t been in highschool in 7 years but my brother is currently in highschool. Apparently the school is in much worse condition than when I left, with some classes having lessons outside because the a/c was busted and the school refused to fix it. Programs related to art are royally screwed and have to raise their own money or find their own supplies. We had to go DUMPSTER DIVING for art supplies. In Pom (dance team) we had to raise our own money for a Disney trip despite Disney having invited us to perform after we had won multiple state championships. Same happened to the cheer team the following year after I graduated. Performing arts often has to make their own sets from whatever scrap gets donated or gets found by teachers/students. We had to raise all kinds of money and were forced to reduce prices of tickets for performances because “people shouldn’t have to pay that much for a show” by the school (our shows were $10). Band is still in the same shitty facility as it was when I was there with shitty acoustics and shittier uniforms. But you can bet your ass the football team got all kinds of goodies. Like new equipment, new uniforms, new gym equipment and A FUCKING INDOOR FOOTBALL FIELD! Our team sucked when I was in highschool and they still suck now. The school is letting teachers go due to budget cuts but they’re STILL hiring a new coach just because the last one (who had only been there a year) didn’t win a championship (which football hasn’t won a championship in almost 30 years). Coaches get paid more than regular teachers even if they don’t teach a subject aside from football. They also often bully other teachers into boosting a students’ grade just so they won’t be ineligible to play an upcoming game. This is why I hate highschool football. In America it’s seen as a religion. Football takes priority before EVERYTHING even though hardly any students have a career in football after highschool or college. Even though most scholarships are based on academics and OTHER extra curricular activities. But fuck that, the football team gets all the money. Fuck football.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="http://deadspin.com/infographic-is-your-states-highest-paid-employee-a-co-489635228">Infographic: Is Your State’s Highest-Paid Employee A Coach? (Probably)</a><br/></p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="450" data-orig-width="800"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/422242ca573ad462015e03e15d00f057/tumblr_inline_os5wh36aI01rnwncb_540.jpg" data-orig-height="450" data-orig-width="800"/></figure></blockquote> <i>infographic: is <br/>your state’s highest-paid employee <br/>a coach (probably) </i><br/><hr><br/><small>^Haiku<sup>^bot<sup>^8. <sup>I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. <sup>Sometimes I make mistakes.</sup></sup></sup></sup> | <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mzFrAnMlCtdcbl2l6MX8Fsw">@image-transcribing-bot</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mr3TgOfcQwUw5HUyvmSwGZQ">@portmanteau-bot</a> | <a href="mailto:thathaikubot@gmail.com"><u>Contact</u></a> | <a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/xUOxeWmSLRhkoo9PmE"><b><u>HAIKU BOT NO</u></b></a> | <a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/l2RnFnR3Bwgjpb1FS"><u>Good bot!</u></a> | Beep-boop!</small> </blockquote> <p>My school was the same as all this shit. Not enough books to go around, not enough teachers, no enough caregivers for the mentally handicapped, but hey, we got a new half million dollar track and field for no fucking reason. </p> </blockquote> <p>I’m still surprised by this, because I believed it was normal to spend 300€ each year in textbooks, and high school is even more expensive, maybe 400€. (I live in Southern Europe). </p> <p>How it works? The textbooks are school property? </p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah textbooks are paid for and provided by the school </p> </blockquote> <p>See my school was always the opposite of this… Well funded in pretty much every area except sports lol. In fact the departments that got the most funding were the arts, theater especially. I guess it’s just a school full of nerds? I mean our best varsity team was always robotics if that tells you anything… Honestly though the problem isn’t how much money the school’s being given usually, it’s how that money’s being spent. If all your money’s going towards sports while the rest of the school is falling apart, there’s a problem.</p></blockquote> <p>At the school where I teach we are always running out of things. Once we ran out of paper towels and we were out for like half a month.</p>
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5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631 >2746670273 My autistic tinder hookup be me, 19 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up > have a cold > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and retards were dtf > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?" > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny > she just says "yes" > don't reply for a few hours > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big dick > I am confused and assure her that I do not > she says she wants to be penetrated > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school > the school is a community college > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should fuck her > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and the students were all ignorant > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the middle east > I watch it for some reason > she starts talking about us fucking again > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10 minutes tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways > she sends me her address Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470) s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours > I shower and finally leave at like 11 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my tires > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy -1/--Hime > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out) > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck finally leave, put air in my tires > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me > avoid eye contact and leave > still nervous as fuck and without phone service > drive around her town not knowing what to do >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again > head to her house once again, lose service >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors are outside for some reason > not sure what to do or where to park drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone > luckily have service and can message her > tell her ive arrived > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door she tells me to just walk in > tell her that sounds sketchy > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed > decide fuck it, ill walk in > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything > I wave like the autist I am to them > they don't react > just walk in, my heart is pounding > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever she grabs me and leads me through her dark house > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan there's a huge mirror in front of her bed > Christmas lights all over her room > she lays down > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do > just make small-talk about her neighbors she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?" > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs > she tells me to eat her out > I have no idea how to pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319) 2-746666831 >-746669345 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath > losing my boner minutes losing my boner > I get up and take my condom off > she starts sucking my dick her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had diarrhea she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed > the mattresses start to spread apart >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them > I get back on top go for a few more minutes until I almost die she asks whyI keep getting so tired fuck her > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick we lay around talking about stuff for a while >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger > she sits on my dick while telling random stories tells me about how she was molested as a child probably giving me herpes > child starts knocking on door, crying > she yells at him to get back to bed > we get back to sex after 45 minutes try a few more positions > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum > not sure what to do or say or where to cum > start to cum on her chest she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking > she says she planned on continuing > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably cum in my urethra Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535· File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131) 746667711 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's moaning "seel See!" > ask her "see what? > she says "no, Spanish" > Im a retard > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and hot now she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas > I don't fucking know > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember >she came at least once, not sure how I did it >I just want to get another nut off > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist > get dressed, go for a hug she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close >say bye, leave > drive home for over an hour >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant > probably have herpes > just want to go home and shower and sleep > have never felt so dead inside >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work >go to sleep without showering > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant struggling to cum Anon gets laid
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Apparently, Bitch, and Children: An Incomplete List of Notable Peoplel Delivered Pizza To... tybaar It's coming up on a year now since I got my curent job as a pizza delivery girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the lttle ever- expanding WTFPIZZA note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh -interesting deliveries So without further ado and in no particular order, here's some pizza customers who left a lasting impression on me thus far A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash. A woman who slipped me a business card (in ieu of tip) for a laser tatto0 removal clinic, explaining In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be. At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice. - An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pead-handled .32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (I do) and also, #1 could load it for her (I didnt). -A group of EMTs hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently extinguished (but still smouldering) house fire. -A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was "obstructing the mal system and demanded my social security number so he could report me to the proper authorties A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them. - A hotel room full of badass middie-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Hamy Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them. A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans. Multiple instances of people asking if# I would sell them pot. (bitch get your own dealer sheesh) A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the "spitting image" of his deceased daughter -A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote "get a real car in the tip portion of my credit receipt. A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in every shot Multiple prank deliveries joke's on you motherfucker, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered) - An elderty man who wrote FUCK OFF as his signature on a credit receipt - A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he works so hard. He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldnt do anything. A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks+sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail -A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I'm female. She proceeded to snatch my drivers icense out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me. A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double - A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully, HIS copy of the receipt. An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza. -A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote 0.00 in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said pizza tip" in the For section A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (1 kept track) al about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dolar order. I dunno. - An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked temified, sat down on the floor and muttered 1... I don't know... - Obligatory naked man with unimpressive penis - A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately tuned to vomit into her mailbox A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a fullgrown woman - A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display racks, tables, shelves- everywhere. - A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add. A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldnt hear anything he was saying. An elderty guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could score him holowpoint bulets. - An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didnt have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios nstead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag this was so worth reading Souroe: tybaar story time his is. 219,895 notes realy cool actualy Pizza for Strange People
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Being Alone, Beer, and Drinking: Ballerific Charity: Anheuser-Busch Produces Canned Water For Hurricane Harvey Victims @balleralert drin drinking water BallerificCharity: Anheuser-Busch Produces Canned Water For Hurricane Harvey Victims -blogged by @miss_binky ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As Hurricane Harvey continues to devastate the city of Houston, everyone from celebrities, to regular citizens, to huge corporations are reaching out and doing whatever they can to help. Take for example, beer giant, Anheuser-Busch. The company has currently halted brewing, and is using one of their factories to produce and ship cans of clean water to hurricane victims. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Brewmaster, Sarah Schilling, issued the following statement: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "Throughout the year, we periodically pause beer production at our Cartersville, Georgia, brewery to produce emergency canned drinking water so we are ready to help out communities across the country in times of crisis. Putting our production and logistics strengths to work by providing safe, clean drinking water is the best way we can help in these situations.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This isn’t the first time Anheuser-Busch has stepped up either. They’ve been canning emergency drinking water for years, and in 2016 alone, sent out over 2 million cans to communities hit by natural disasters. The Cartersville, Georgia brewery plans on sending more than 50,000 cans of water to the Houston area, where Red Cross shelters will distribute it those in need.

BallerificCharity: Anheuser-Busch Produces Canned Water For Hurricane Harvey Victims -blogged by @miss_binky ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As Hurricane Ha...

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