🔥 Popular | Latest

Anal Sex, Dating, and God: theyellowbrickroad Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??? theyellowbrickroad Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he's pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But something is wrong. He's about to enter... The. Wrong. Hole And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass out He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the qrave with some accidental anal sex soorajmakhi SIMONE I AM YELLING katielittlejohn Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn't make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all The. Wrong. Hole
Save
Aladdin, Bad, and Barbie: C ,d 40%. 11:52 PM minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous" es When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel- lor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that b mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched roken toys had access to the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader, because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of in Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh* Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra Source: sweetbabyr aysgourmetsauces 79,144 notes I want this to be an actual soap so bad
Save
Arguing, Bad, and Barbie: T-Mobile LTE 8:46 PM Tajea-Jasmine Walton added 3 new photos. 5 hrs. Jazzy Rowe, a black American student at UHartford, was a victim of multiple forms of poisoning by her racist roommate. The girl put molded substances into Jazzy's skincare and beauty products, put her toothbrush "where the sun don't shine", rubbed period blood on her belongings, among multiple other things.. then proceeded to brag about it on Instagram. Even posting videos of Jazzy eating food after poisoning it and captioning them saying "if only she knew" At a point in time, Jazzy had so much bad bacteria in her throat, she couldn't even speak. She could have died simply because of her skin tone. University of Hartford is trying to silence Jazzy and her story, but we can't let that happen. Too often colleges let severe hate crimes get swept under the rug but I hope Connecticut is better than that. She also has a video on her page where she goes into detail about everything that happened. PLEASE just repost and spread this news. #JUSTICEFORJAZZY Write a comment... GIF T-Mobile LTE 8:46 PM 62% D Tajea-Jasmine's Post 2 t05 BennyBunOne @onlyelimori 1h As an Alumna of this University & former BSU President, I am highly disappointed in the University's lack of urgency to rectify this case. 2 t26 3 Tweet your reply 0 3 Comment Share Like "'ll AT&T 10:38 PM Done Photo breezy bumble_b Finally did it yo girl got rid of her roommate! After 11/2 month of spitting in her coconut oil, putting moldy clam dip in her lotions, rubbing used tampons oh her backpack, putting her toothbrush places where the sun doesn't shine, and so much more I can finally say goodbye Jamaican Barbie 2m 14 Comments Like Comment Share reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: This is beyond disgusting. Jazzy Rowe could have died, because of her roommates racism. The school tried to intimidate her into silence, but she speaking out and the multi cultural organizations at the school are meeting tomorrow (Nov. 1st) to support her. The Woman who openly admitted to poisoning her roommate is Brianna “Breezy” Borchu. She was the roommate of Jazzy Rowe at The University of Hartford. According to this website article, Brianna Borchu has recently been arrested. https://thetab.com/us/2017/11/01/white-freshman-brags-about-rubbing-used-tampons-on-her-black-roomm-73531 JAZZY COULD HAVE DIED. Brianna Borchu was literally poisoning this young woman because of her race. One could even argue that this was an attempted murder.. because it definitely was a HATE CRIME. She only received 2 charges. 1) 2nd degree Breach of Peace 2) 3rd degree Criminal Mischief

reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: reverseracism: This is beyond disgusting. Jazzy Rowe could have died, because of her room...

Save