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Apparently, College, and Complex: r/AskReddit What perfectly true story of yours sounds like an outrageous lie? RamsesThePigeon 13d, 17h Just up the street from my apartment in San Francisco, there was one of those fast food restaurants that was either a KFC or a Taco Bell, depending on the angle from which it was viewed. The establishment was a frequent stopping point for students coming from the nearby college... and those students were a frequent target for a remarkably bright crow Now, on most days, the bird in question would just hang around the restaurant (as well as other ones nearby) and scavenge for scraps. Every once in a while, though - I saw this happen twice, and had it happen to me once - it would enact a much more complex scheme than simply going through the gutter: The crow had apparently discovered that money could be exchanged for food, so it would wait until it saw a likely mark, squawk at them to get their attention, then pick up and drop a coin. Anyone who responded would witness the bird hopping a few feet away, then following its "victim" toward the source of its next snack. When the crow approached me, it dropped a nickel on the ground. I stooped, picked up the coin, and then jumped slightly when the bird made a noise that sounded not unlike "Taco!' Needless to say, I bought that crow a taco. The final out-of-pocket cost for me, minus the nickel, was something like >l.T5. Even so, I figured a bird that smart deserved a reward simply for existing Of course, that was probably exactly what I was supposed to think. TL;DR: A crow paid me five cents to buy it a taco. onyourleftbooob: nadiaoxford: I don’t have a hard time believing this.

onyourleftbooob: nadiaoxford: I don’t have a hard time believing this.

Asian, Bad, and Beef: Imaan Sheikh @sheikhimaan POC: *jokes about white people not seasoning their food and not having rhythm* White people: Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have. l've been protested and demonstrated against. dirkapitated-yet-again: jlongbone: sophisticatedfangirling: thewolfman1995: cheshireinthemiddle: livbiv17: mizumanta: livbiv17: mizumanta: livbiv17: livbiv17: raychjackson: lmao yo OMG SO RELEVENT Reblogging AGAIN. 😩 You know having unseasoned food is an actual thing in japan. “Simple flavors” is part of Japanese food culture. No seasoning or just salt. I think we should mock japanese people too. Generalize them as having no taste or ability to cook. And laugh at them if they say it’s racism or childish. The difference is white people colonized—raped, stole and destroyed—other cultures for these seasonings…that they don’t even use ☺️therein lies the irony. Also…not the point of the post…the point is, making fun of white people’s weird shit does not equal racism. I said what I said ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So staaahp trolling and go read a book maybe. Lady, i have 2 degrees on this. I literally have walls of books on the history of food. White people didnt rape, colonize, steal, or destroy anymore than the Chinese did. And i doubt you would be okay saying this about Asians. People tended to use less seasoning back ghen because food was bred and grown differently. Things like chicken and beef had way more natural flavor, so additional seasonings werent really needed. In fact, for some places, seasonings were typically used by the poor, who were left with bad tasting scraps. Other places had them solely for the rich, since non native spices were incredibly expensive. Just like with Japanese culture, food culture in European cultures are often rely on tradition. Traditional methods are used, even if obsolete from newly available ingredients. It’s why old traditional methods of wine and cheese making are still used today. In fact, simple flavors and limited seasonings are available in a large amount of African dishes. The whole “white people dont season their food” stereotype originated in the US, and is clearly wrong, since European immigrants brought over tons of well seasoned and loved food like pizza, sausages, gyros, literally a ton of well known french dishes. I mean most southern cuisine came from French immigrants, and African slaves and paid servants (who at the time didnt even have access to most spices) simply copied those. The only real nuance is the addition of peppers and things like nutmeg and corn (originating in the americas) which European immigrants had already been using in their recipes. ( Actual soul food that can be entirely credited to African Americans is limited). The point is that the caricature of white people’s cooking being unseasoned is a very real part of reality for other cultures. Japan prides its traditional food with simplistic flavors. As in minimal or no seasoning. So any mocking you have for white people, equally (if not moreso) applies to the Japanese. You clearly don’t think it’s okay to say these same things to Asians, so it is clear that it isnt the action itself that you have a problem with, but the race doing it. Youre a racist. You think just because you mr opinions are popular and other bad activists are on your side, that you are in the right. I think we know from history that a popular opinion isnt always the right one. I’ve seen how you reply to other people who disagree with you and it is so childish. You just tell them to read a book or go to a library without considering their knowledge on the subject. I am here to tell you that i am much more knowledgable than you are on this subject. You are just making up stuff to excuse the fact that you dont like white people. https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2015/03/26/394339284/how-snobbery-helped-take-the-spice-out-of-european-cooking I literally cannot make this shit up lol. 😂 your degrees are obviously for naught. Also..the British and Europe DID colonize these areas…which included the aforementioned atrocities. Not racist. Just have a grasp on history. Get one. How Snobbery Helped Take The Spice Out Of European Cooking I dont think you even read this. It clearly states that while Indians (and it only relies on indians, not the mentioned Japanese or really any other Asian country) focus on curry, while Europeans often focused on gravies and sauces. Italian sauces for instance relied on fresh herbs (not spices), while French sauces relied more on stocks. Once dried peppers came over, many countries used paprika to season their stews, and others regularly used rosemary, bayleaf, thyme, and pepper. It’s really odd that you would compare any country’s use of spice to India’s. Essentially anyone’s would use less spice in comparison. In fact, as shown in the link, India is known for contrasting flavors using odd spice combinations that most countries (including non european) would never use. It doesnt really prove your point. It just shows that you really dont understand how these things work. Your grasp of history is poor, because according to your other posts, you actually think white people invented racism. You keep mentioning atrocities Europeans committed and act like they are the only ones who did them, which gives you permission to be racist. You are the one who doesnt understand history. And you do not understand food culture among European countries. You are just driven by stereotypes and opinion peices. Hungarian paprika chicken Beef bourguignon Roasted gyro meat Just because they dont have spice blends with 30 components like many indian masalas, doesnt mean they arent seasoned. As someone who has made these dishes (and many others from various countries), and as someone with more education on the subject, I am here to tell you that you are wrong, misonformed, and racist. “the difference between white people and japanese people is that white people colonized, raped stole and destroyed, japanese people didn’t” sometimes i don’t even know what to say to shit like that. i… i can’t “HAHA WYPIPO TAKE JOKES SO SURIUS!”  *later*  “the difference between white people and japanese people is that white people colonized, raped stole and destroyed, japanese people didn’t““ the difference between white people and japanese people is that white people colonized, raped stole and destroyed, japanese people didn’t Yes. Hello. Korea and China both wanna have a word with you. Lmaoooo imagine denying Japanese colonialism. Like holy shit some of that happened in living memory.
Blessed, Food, and Money: FOOD THAT Growing anything from a seed is impressive but also difficult, unless you're blessed with a green thumb. THaT MAGICALLY REGEROWS ITSELF Sure, it saves on money but there has to be an easier way... and there is! You can actually grow food from kitchen scraps. There is something very MacGyver about It's true! You can upcycle everything from celery scraps to onion butts with chance of success. Use organic fruits and vegetables for the best results. that, no? a great Green onions, lemongrass, leeks, fennel, & spring onions FOR LEMONGRASS ONLY Place root ends in water but don't fully submerge them. Change the water daily In 3-5 days, growth begins. Harvest the greens when full, then repeat the process Harvest lemongrass once it becomes a foot tall. Simply cut off what you need without uprooting the plant. Celery, cabbage, romaine lettuce, & bok chou Submerge the roots, leaving the tops above the water line. Spray with water a couple times a week, replacing the water every few days. Leaves will sprout in about a week. Plant the cutting with only the leaves above soil. Harvest when fully grown, about 5 months. Ginger Soak the chunk of ginger overnight. Submerge in moist soil. Keep watering until shoots appear Ready to harvest in a year. Simply remove entire plant, use what you need and repeat. Onion Plant root end and lightly cover it in soil. Keep soil moist. Carefully separate the new onions, leaving the roots attached, and plant them. Occasionally cut the leaves down to promote full growth. It can take up to 5 months for plants to mature enough for harvest. Garlic The bulbs will be ready for harvest in early summer when the bottom 1/3 of the leaves have yellowed. The larger the clove, the larger the resulting bulb. Sit the plant in a sunny window keeping the soil moist. COMPOST REMOVE Mushroonm Use a mixture of compost and soil. Plant the mushroom stalk in the soil with only the surface of it exposed. If the cutting takes, new growth happens q Harvest and repeat. uickly 4 DEEP HOLE Potatoes& Sweet Potatoes 8 DEPTH Cut into 2 pieces, each having 1-2 "eyes" on it Set pieces out at room temp for a few days, until fully dry St ore sweet potatoes in a warm, dry place for 2 weeks before using. This is what makes them sweet. 12" APART Add more soil as the plant grows until i is about 6" tall Pineapple Slice off the green leafy top and remove all fruit. Carefully remove the bottom layers until you see root buds. Growth happens in the first few months but it will be Place in water for two weeks to form roots. 2-3 years before harvest. WHOLE FOODS COOKING STONED Content & Design Jerry James Stone /@jerryjamesstone Chris Rooney/ @looneyrooneycom tv M A R K E T <p>¡Comida infinita!</p>

¡Comida infinita!

Beautiful, Cats, and Family: lord-kitschener Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they're tragic famine victims who haven't eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now because you're 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me artaeum the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it instructionsfordancing not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion lord-kitschener This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs catsuggest wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?! goldenmeme My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn't seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time l went to double check that he did indeed have food, he'd book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as l walked away he'd follow me screaming again. Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we're a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I'm ever out for more than 12 hours I'll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he's been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. teashoesandhair Things my cat has cried at: I wouldn't let her jump on top of the burning hot stove .I moved my coat so that she couldn't scale the kitchen chair and jump on people's shoulders when they walked past I didn't scratch her cheek firmly enough She ate her entire meal allowance for the day in one sitting at 9am and was famished by 10am I didn't let her sit behind me on the toilet seat I wouldn't let her eat toothpaste I wouldn't let her eat the cork from a wine bottle I wouldn't let her eat the straw that my rabbit had pissed on . . . Cats are inherently ridiculous creatures and this is why they are perfect. wishyroses Cats are like two year olds but sharp Source: lord-kitschener 122,537 notes Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD
Children, Club, and Cute: THEMET Each morning, like clockwork, they board the subway, off to begin their daily routine amidst the hustle and bustle of the city But these aren't just any daily commuters. These are stray dogs who live in the outskirts of Moscow Russia and commute on the underground trains to and from the city centre in search of food scraps. Then after a hard day scavenging and begging on the streets, they hop back on the train and return to the suburbs where they spend the night. Experts studying the dogs, who usually choose the quietest carriages at the front and back of the train, say they even work together to make sure they get off at the right stop - after learning to judge the length of time they need to spend on the train. Scientists believe this phenomenon began after the Soviet Union collapsed in the 1990s, and Russia's new capitalists moved industrial complexes from the city centre to the suburbs. Dr Andrei Poiarkov, of the Moscow Ecology and Evolution Institute, said These complexes were used by homeless dogs as shelters, so the dogs had to move together with their houses. Because the best scavenging for food is in the city centre, the dogs had to learn how to travel on the subway-to get to the centre in the morning, then back home in the evening, just like people." Dr Poiarkov told how the dogs like to play during their daily commute. He said: "They jump on the train seconds before the doors shut, risking their tails getting jammed. They do it for fun. And sometimes they fall asleep and get off at the wrong stop." The dogs have also amazingly learned to use traffic lights to cross the road safely, said Dr Poiarkov. And they use cunning tactics to obtain tasty morsels of shawarma, a kebab-like snack popular in Moscow With children the dogs "play cute" by putting their heads on youngsters' knees and staring pleadingly into their eyes to win sympathy - and scraps Dr Poiarkov added: "Dogs are surprisingly good psychologists." you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com laughoutloud-club: These Aren’t Just Any Daily Commuters

laughoutloud-club: These Aren’t Just Any Daily Commuters

Apple, Funny, and Hungry: o e 0 iPhone Software Update 3. Transfer. You may not rent, lease, lend, sell, redistribute, or sublicense the ioS Software. You may, however (a) Oh you know what? This is page 46, nobody's still reading this. I bet only about five people clicked to read the T&Cs in the first place- we might as well just say anything we like. Tony on floor 5 of Apple HQ smells of sardines. When someone sends a funny email around the offices we have to reply with itaughed. It's in our job description. Remember that legal kertuffle over Apple & Apple studios? Want to know how we fixed it? We bought The Beaties. We have the surviving ones come and sing to us for scraps. We're looking at ways to reanimate the dead ones. The canteen only sells apple products. Apples, apple juice, apple flapjacks, toffee apples. We get fired if we're caught eating anything without apples in it. IM ALLERGIC TO APPLES AND I'M ALWAYS SO HUNGRY r or We faked the moon landings. Did it in 2008, then brainwashed you all to of believe it happened in 1969, just because we could. If anyone finds out I've leaked this information, I'll be killed. But no one will ever, ever read this. (b) you do not retain any copies of the iOS Software, full or partial, including copies stored on a computer or other storage device; and (c) the party receiving the iOS Software reads and agrees to accept the terms and conditions of this License. Decline Agree Save OPiCALo hOwtohideyourfeelings: nocaresnoregrets: "Page 46 of the iOS 7 terms and conditions" How did yOU EVEN FIND THIS WHAT Someone didnt give a single heck

Someone didnt give a single heck

Alive, Animals, and Apparently: Motherhood denied Breaking the mother-calf bond is fundamental to all forms of dairy farming. <p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/165694169733/i-am-your-northern-star-dear-tumb1r" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://i-am-your-northern-star.tumblr.com/post/165693494927/dear-tumb1r-krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad" class="tumblr_blog">i-am-your-northern-star</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dear-tumb1r.tumblr.com/post/165688769552/krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad-kedreeva" class="tumblr_blog">dear-tumb1r</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://krakenpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/165684582701/crimsonclad-kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">krakenpocalypse</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://crimsonclad.tumblr.com/post/165654725553/kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">crimsonclad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://kedreeva.tumblr.com/post/165653905615/palpablenotion-speedforcesensitive" class="tumblr_blog">kedreeva</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://palpablenotion.tumblr.com/post/165166115235/speedforcesensitive-satanstruemistress" class="tumblr_blog">palpablenotion</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://speedforcesensitive.tumblr.com/post/165165767368/satanstruemistress-vinato71-dustypumpkin" class="tumblr_blog">speedforcesensitive</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://satanstruemistress.tumblr.com/post/165022766332/vinato71-dustypumpkin-rossmallo" class="tumblr_blog">satanstruemistress</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://vinato71.tumblr.com/post/161293956968/dustypumpkin-rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">vinato71</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dustypumpkin.tumblr.com/post/160300743192/rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">dustypumpkin</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://rossmallo.tumblr.com/post/160299092775/thehornedwitch-thesocialjusticecourier" class="tumblr_blog">rossmallo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/160275346862/thesocialjusticecourier-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thesocialjusticecourier.tumblr.com/post/160263273220/thehornedwitch-somejane-namesnotfred" class="tumblr_blog">thesocialjusticecourier</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/159933662002/somejane-namesnotfred-gimmeacoldbeer" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://somejane.tumblr.com/post/109645584967">somejane</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://namesnotfred.tumblr.com/post/109005051111">namesnotfred</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gimmeacoldbeer.tumblr.com/post/72414064607">gimmeacoldbeer</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kijikun.tumblr.com/post/72255066968">kijikun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://striderwolf.tumblr.com/post/71894869320">striderwolf</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://crazyqueerclassicist.tumblr.com/post/71587090064">crazyqueerclassicist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://north-american-weesnaw.tumblr.com/post/71571039829">north-american-weesnaw</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://friso1990.tumblr.com/post/71570538840">friso1990</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://catsteaks.tumblr.com/post/71409852369">catsteaks</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gorreality.tumblr.com/post/70881833496">gorreality</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>“I can’t be vegan, I love cheese”</p> <p>Dairy industry is as evil as meat. No less harm for animals. Does it look natural that calf can’t drink milk so you can taste your piece of cheese? </p> <p>GO VEGAN. </p> </blockquote> <p><i><b>WRONG</b></i></p> <p>That calf is wearing a nose tag. Nose tags are put on calves so that they are able to stay with their mothers longer, but are unable to nurse. They don’t NEED to nurse as they get older, they just get greedier and pushier and will bash up the cow’s udder and bruise it with their noses.</p> <p>This nose-tag is so that calves can stay with their mothers, their mothers can remain pain-free and healthy, and nobody is stressed.</p> <p>Educate yourselves you ignorant fucking tarts.</p> </blockquote> <p>…really? You don’t think it might have anything to do with the milk being stolen for human consumption? At all? Not even a tiny bit?</p> </blockquote> <p>Militant vegans can fuck right off</p> </blockquote> <p>Based on fur texture and face shape, that calf is at least six months old, probably older.  Calves can survive without actual cow milk even at three months, though older is better (calves weaned that early are usually fed a sort of formula for another couple months).</p> <p>Also, nose tags like that one don’t go through the cow’s septum.  They basically work like those fake septum rings for humans.</p> <p>In addition to weaning the calves, another use for nose tags is protecting non-lactating cows.  Sometimes weanlings or even adult cows will suck on themselves or other non-lactating cows; this can cause internal teat scarring bad enough to prevent that teat or teats from ever working.  I’ve seen this happen, and it’s ugly, probably at least somewhat painful, and, if bad enough, would lead to the cow being slaughtered at a very young age because she can’t produce milk, has chronic mastitis, and/or can’t be milked with automatic milking equipment.  So,<b> nose tags actually prevent animal cruelty</b>.</p> <p>Also, calves will suck on anything remotely oblong (and attempt to eat literally anything), even if they are being adequately fed or overfed.  Often they will suck on other calves’ ears, and, since ears are longer than teats and cows have upper as well as lower teeth in the back of their mouths, many calves get bites on their ears, which often become severely infected.  I’m not sure if nose tags would work there, because physics—a non-toxic but bad-tasting ear paint would be better—but yeah, letting a calf put anything it wants in its mouth is not always a good idea.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for educational purposes.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for people being schooled</p> </blockquote> <p>This was the funniest argument about false cruelty I have read.. Thank you. </p> </blockquote> <p>I love this for 2 reasons: Most people don’t realize that in farming areas agriculture/horticulture/animal husbandry is part of public school education from as early on as 7th grade. (Though I remember dissecting cow eyes in 4th grade science sooo) I assure you fifteen year old farm kids know more about what constitutes animal cruelty in farms than thirty year old vegans with, or without an agenda. </p> <p>Also that if you really want good quality beef/pork/eggs/milk/etc you don’t abuse your animals. Ever. That’s not the point and if you want to make any kind of money off your career choice, you are going to treat those creatures better than you treat yourself. You’ll call a vet five times for an infection in your herd before you visit the hospital for a missing foot on your own leg. </p> <p>So. Yeah. Watch out, because we’re getting internet access these days. We’re on tumblr too. </p> </blockquote> <p><figure class="" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_owsrk62QTZ1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"/></figure></p> <p>P.S. The immigrant workers farming your supermarket produce have no health care or legal protection, and the Bolivians farming your 365 Organic Quinoa can’t afford to eat it. But PLEASE won’t someone think of the poor baby cows who won’t get off the tit?!</p> </blockquote> <p>Also this is a LOT nicer than what mother cows do to calves that won’t be weaned. You know what mother cows do to calves that won’t wean? kick them in the head. Now I don’t know about vegans, but I’d rather have a nose tag that discouraged me from injuring my mother (because calves that don’t wean tend to chew on udders and make mother cows bleed) rather than being kicked in the head.<br/>Source: I grew up on a fucking cattle ranch. I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.</p> </blockquote> <h2>“I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.”</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-tumblr-attribution="vegemaryam-blog-blog:dHMFQoiSWHRFiB-ADut1Hg:Z5ZE3yG4v53k" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/058afa51d891f3ae78ad77a706d4294e/tumblr_inline_owsrk7X9bI1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"/></figure><p>I’m sorry, what? What??? WHAT??? you can’t just leave it there please explain <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mE-H1ppiBm7u2G5sYjEGAxg">@thehornedwitch</a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Happy to explain!<br/>See, chickens are omnivorous. They eat bugs, plants, and meatstuffs. Y'know how crows and ravens and things eat meat? Well, chickens too. Ours had a particular fondness for ham when someone accidentally put it into the bucket of good scraps we set aside for the chickens. A bucket we tried to keep as meat-free as possible, because few things are more terrifying than a chicken looking you in the eyes as it scarfs down ham.<br/>Anyway, back to the mouse.<br/>One day i was doing Chicken Chores, like gathering eggs, putting out grain, emptying the bucket of greens, etc, when a mouse runs across the pen.<br/>All at once, eight or so chickens stop dead, look at it, and SWARM.<br/>Now I’m six at this point in time and developing a healthy fear of chickens, and so do nothing.<br/>By the time the chickens are done, all that is left of the mouse is its bones. I left the chicken pen very, very quickly.<br/>Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.<br/>They will also cannibalize each other with reckless abandon. Sometimes we just had to remove one chicken to its own private pen away from the others because no matter what we did, that specific one always tried to eat the other chickens. We had one that really liked other chicken’s eyes. Bear in mind, our pens ensured each chicken had about five to six square feet all its own if you managed to space every chicken out evenly, we never locked them in teensy pen things, and fed them LOTS. These chickens just really, really wanted to maim.<br/>Chickens that are not Buff Orpingtons are the devil. Buff Orpingtons are sweethearts. If you must have chickens, have that kind. And never get Guineas. Guineas are SATAN INCARNATE. THEY SMELL FEAR.</p> </blockquote> <p>Holy shit, I dont think I’ll ever use chicken as an insult again. </p> </blockquote> <p>Holy Shit, same here that is terrifying</p> </blockquote> <p>Will I’m using it as a compliment</p> </blockquote> <p>I love farm animals.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.”<br/></p> <p>If you’ve ever looked a chicken in the eye you know that they don’t just remember; they’re patiently awaiting the day they become dinosaurs again. </p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mbqnkKs3SqeMl1_0xhazmyQ">@kedreeva</a></p> </blockquote> <p>I have reblogged this before because watching farmers school vegans is always hilarious, but now we’re into birds, specifically fowl, and I have got <i>stories</i>.</p> <p> I had to give my turkey an antibiotic injection once upon a time, and she turned the needle puncture into a six inch by three inch hole in her back overnight as she attempted to <i>eat herself</i> because apparently turkeys find themselves to be delicious. She had to spend 3 months duct taped into a tea towel (the bandages underneath cleaned and replaced daily, mind you) until it healed because she would not stop ripping the bandages off to continue consuming herself. <br/></p> <p>Your chickens strip a mouse to the bone? Mine draw and quarter them and run around with the parts shrieking. My peacocks grab mice, beat them to death on the ground with this insanely fast back and forth head twisting motion, and then swallow them whole. You would not think an entire adult mouse would fit in their face, and you would be wrong.</p> <p>I knew a guy that used to regularly post photos of the 5-6′ long Copperhead snakes his peafowl would destroy. And I don’t mean kill, I mean <i>destroy</i>. These venomous snakes would get into the pens and the peas would just peck them into oblivion like nbd.</p> <p>Fowl didn’t just used to be dinosaurs. <i>They are still dinosaurs</i>.</p> <p>Thankfully they are small dinosaurs</p> <p>and we can just tape them into tea towels if we have to</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/acee3cfaed48d9fef00fcee900d458d3/tumblr_inline_owsrk7C8Bg1rw09tq_540.jpg" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"/></figure></blockquote> <p>BEGGING for a Jurassic Park reboot where farmers run the place instead of brogrammer scientists, and the raptors frequently get scolded and taped into tea towels</p> </blockquote> <p>Now I feel less guilty about eating chicken. It’s just pre-emptive self defense.</p> </blockquote> <p>Its also preemptive self defense to eat pigs because they will knock you over and eat you alive </p> </blockquote> <p>I had a friend in New Zealand who has some chickens (and one turkey named Pablo) on her land. One day she looked out her window to discover that Pablo had killed one of the hens, and kept returning to mutilate the body. There were chicken parts everywhere. He would drag what was left of the hen around the yard like he was proud of his work. They ended up getting rid of Pablo. </p> </blockquote> <p>WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT CHICKENS WERE SWEET LITTLE FLUFFS WHAT IS THIS SHIT</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh no, Birdy. Chickens are kind of evil. My dad still has a scar on his hand from being pecked by a chicken when he was six.</p>