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inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D : inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
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libertarirynn: scribblesteph: semituring: meganphntmgrl: spontaneous-purple-giraffe: fakefurby: hottest take Would someone please tell me which war crimes she committed? I don’t think anyone has ever mentioned them to me before and I’d really like to know. Oh, that’s what makes this a TRULY piping hot take. It’s that she, as commander, placed a civilian into combat, which is classified as a war crime because of press ganging and child soldiers, along with the whole general thing about exposing civilians to harm. Like, yeah, generally speaking, inflicting that on someone is a war crime. The trouble is, the civilian she placed in combat? Herself. This guy (and Human Pet Guy) are calling her a war criminal because they’re doing mental somersaults to consider her both a commander and a civilian. At the same time. Yeah. so we’re just stealing our discourse from fifteenth century france huh This blog is pro-Joan of Arc and any antis will be promptly blocked I’m just distracted by the idea of Joan of arc being a “waifu” : libertarirynn: scribblesteph: semituring: meganphntmgrl: spontaneous-purple-giraffe: fakefurby: hottest take Would someone please tell me which war crimes she committed? I don’t think anyone has ever mentioned them to me before and I’d really like to know. Oh, that’s what makes this a TRULY piping hot take. It’s that she, as commander, placed a civilian into combat, which is classified as a war crime because of press ganging and child soldiers, along with the whole general thing about exposing civilians to harm. Like, yeah, generally speaking, inflicting that on someone is a war crime. The trouble is, the civilian she placed in combat? Herself. This guy (and Human Pet Guy) are calling her a war criminal because they’re doing mental somersaults to consider her both a commander and a civilian. At the same time. Yeah. so we’re just stealing our discourse from fifteenth century france huh This blog is pro-Joan of Arc and any antis will be promptly blocked I’m just distracted by the idea of Joan of arc being a “waifu”

libertarirynn: scribblesteph: semituring: meganphntmgrl: spontaneous-purple-giraffe: fakefurby: hottest take Would someone please t...

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Also known as one night stand: >14786690 (OP) well you know what they say Cum and go Drip and dip Nail and bail Nut then strut Plow and ciao Suck and duck Skeet and yeet Hit it and quit it Ram and scram Screw and sho0 Shoot and scoot Squirt and revert Smash and dash Skeet and retreat Rape and escape Hump then dump Kiss then dismiss Finger don't linger Cuddle then scuttle Breed then proceed Get lade then evade Jack of then back off Ejaculate and evacuate Go down and skip town Impregnate and immigrate Tear her apart then depart Bust a nut then leave the hut Fuck her ass then hit the gas Suck her toes then say adios Fill her hole then take a stroll Shoot the Jizz then out you is Spray DNA and refuse to stay Smash mouth and dash south Give her cock then run a block Make a baby and run like crazy Smash her rear then disappear Hit the spot then ditch the thot Blow your load and hit the road Shoot the glaze then run aways Shoot your goo and say "adieu" Give her meat then hit the street Shoot your shit then fucking split Get some brain then ride the train Paint her face and leave the place Give her the dick and get out quick Fill the crack and never come back Ruin her sheets then hit the streets Rock her box then change the locks Insert your cock then promptly walk Make her your play mate and vacate Slide in your meat then hit the street Fertilize her seed then need for speed Empty your sack and don't come back Cum on her back then get on the track Fuck her fast then leave her in the past Get insider her gown then get out of town Prove you ain't gay then run the fuck away Please your monkey and leave the country Take her virginity then change your vicinity Give it to the lad then make like a black dad Prompt her wetting then change your setting Explore your sexuality then reposition your locality Upload your generic information then appear in a different nation Preform vaginal penetration then proceed to change your location Put yourseif inside her a fair amount then change your physical whereabouts Also known as one night stand
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ham-of-war: inthegrimdarkness: ask-the-crimson-king: smolcatachan: Huh. That would make him about 5 tons. 2,000lbs = 1 ton. But the Blue Whale has been cited to weigh up to 200 tons. Which this meme makes Magnus featherweight in comparison to the mighty Blue Whale. Putting into pounds, the Blue Whale can weigh 40,000lbs. Now the Blue Whale can vary from 82ft to 105ft which sounded like it’d be comparable to Magnus. So I went and did a size comparison based on this picture between a Space Marine at 8ft and Magnus at 82ft and the comparison matched up to the picture.  So basically what I’m saying is that this meme grossly underestimates the majestic glory of all that is Magnus and must be corrected promptly…Please :D [In this picture, that holds up to a degree, but it is known that Magnus’ height can vary greatly. So he could weigh 5 tons, but it could depend on his height, and I imagine the actual density of the Warp matter that makes up most of his form. In the picture of him fighting Guilliman at Luna, his height is much shorter than 82ft. If Guilliman is ~11.5ft tall, that would put Magnus at… … approximately 20ft tall, plus or minus a potential foot or two since both of them seem to be crouching. I also made a weight calculation based on BMI, though it is most likely not going to be too accurate since our big red nerd here is, as I said, also comprised of Warpstuff. If he is 20ft tall, he should weigh 1.5k-2k pounds. If he was 82ft tall, he should weigh 25k-34k pounds. So while this meme is still inaccurate with the original picture, the blue whale comparison is not exactly a good one either if these calculations are to be believed.] Magnus is also a daemon of Tzeentch and shifts his form constantly, a truly accurate number is impossible Babey is a constant tho : im ten thousand pounds of BABEY ham-of-war: inthegrimdarkness: ask-the-crimson-king: smolcatachan: Huh. That would make him about 5 tons. 2,000lbs = 1 ton. But the Blue Whale has been cited to weigh up to 200 tons. Which this meme makes Magnus featherweight in comparison to the mighty Blue Whale. Putting into pounds, the Blue Whale can weigh 40,000lbs. Now the Blue Whale can vary from 82ft to 105ft which sounded like it’d be comparable to Magnus. So I went and did a size comparison based on this picture between a Space Marine at 8ft and Magnus at 82ft and the comparison matched up to the picture.  So basically what I’m saying is that this meme grossly underestimates the majestic glory of all that is Magnus and must be corrected promptly…Please :D [In this picture, that holds up to a degree, but it is known that Magnus’ height can vary greatly. So he could weigh 5 tons, but it could depend on his height, and I imagine the actual density of the Warp matter that makes up most of his form. In the picture of him fighting Guilliman at Luna, his height is much shorter than 82ft. If Guilliman is ~11.5ft tall, that would put Magnus at… … approximately 20ft tall, plus or minus a potential foot or two since both of them seem to be crouching. I also made a weight calculation based on BMI, though it is most likely not going to be too accurate since our big red nerd here is, as I said, also comprised of Warpstuff. If he is 20ft tall, he should weigh 1.5k-2k pounds. If he was 82ft tall, he should weigh 25k-34k pounds. So while this meme is still inaccurate with the original picture, the blue whale comparison is not exactly a good one either if these calculations are to be believed.] Magnus is also a daemon of Tzeentch and shifts his form constantly, a truly accurate number is impossible Babey is a constant tho

ham-of-war: inthegrimdarkness: ask-the-crimson-king: smolcatachan: Huh. That would make him about 5 tons. 2,000lbs = 1 ton. But the...

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feels-vining: xubbs: hyperazraphael: surprisebitch: absolutely stellar A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses: Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.” The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone: “Study” Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk. “Then study” Thot status: PATROLLED Professors: Posted by u/biguy124 8 months ago 41.9k Professors that have been offered sexual favors by students or students that have offered sexual favors to professors, what happened? nsfw Schwagbert 31.8k points 8 months ago Short story from someone I use to know: She was struggling in her Astronomy class and went in to office hours for the professor. She kept making hints and using body language to signal she was dtf, but apparently the prof just kept slowly moving the picture of his family on his desk further towards her until she left. Give Award Share Report Save Magnussens_Casserole 11.7k points Damn, that's a smart play. 8 months ago Give Award Share Report Save antianchors 4.2k points 8 months ago Astronomical Give Award Share Report Save 10 more replies 11 more replies Digitalmonster7068 17.6k points 8 months ago 3 I guess you can say that she eventually *puts on shades* ..got the picture Give Award Share Report Save 101 more replies feels-vining: xubbs: hyperazraphael: surprisebitch: absolutely stellar A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses: Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.” The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone: “Study” Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk. “Then study” Thot status: PATROLLED Professors
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there : 4:00:56 4:01:40 4:01:26 4:02:14 4:02:51 Sitting and Smiling #218 19,974 views 2 days ago Sitting and Smiling #217 19,961 views 4 days ago Sitting and Smiling #216 12,200 views 5 days ago Sitting and Smiling #215 12,609 views 6 days ago Sitting and Smiling #214 37,252 views 1 week ago 4:02:37 4:01:40 4:02:32 4:02:41 4:02:16 Sitting and Smiling #213 30,742 views 2 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #212 17,316 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #211 18,850 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #210 19,544 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #209 35,082 views 1 month ago 4:01:55 4:01:31 4:01:11 4:02:42 4:03:56 Sitting and Smiling #208 25,193 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #207 88,097 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #206 20,924 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #205 17,728 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #204 36,343 views 1 month ago thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
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thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there : 4:00:56 4:01:40 4:01:26 4:02:14 4:02:51 Sitting and Smiling #218 19,974 views 2 days ago Sitting and Smiling #217 19,961 views 4 days ago Sitting and Smiling #216 12,200 views 5 days ago Sitting and Smiling #215 12,609 views 6 days ago Sitting and Smiling #214 37,252 views 1 week ago 4:02:37 4:01:40 4:02:32 4:02:41 4:02:16 Sitting and Smiling #213 30,742 views 2 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #212 17,316 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #211 18,850 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #210 19,544 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #209 35,082 views 1 month ago 4:01:55 4:01:31 4:01:11 4:02:42 4:03:56 Sitting and Smiling #208 25,193 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #207 88,097 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #206 20,924 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #205 17,728 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #204 36,343 views 1 month ago thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
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the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spookydatrump: note-inthepages: Accurate post is accurate. Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone Lame For those in retail. I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza. So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!” I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak. When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger. Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people. That last bit of commentary though. You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid. : HOW CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS Excuse me, I said a bit of ice on the bottom. Why is the ice on top? 0h boy! Let me just turn off physics and tell the ice to stop floating! Rude! I want to speak to the manager! Sorry about that! Here, take these $500 giftcards. Please don't give us 1-star on Yelp. YOU'RE FIRED!!! も THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG) the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spookydatrump: note-inthepages: Accurate post is accurate. Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone Lame For those in retail. I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza. So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!” I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak. When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger. Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people. That last bit of commentary though. You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.
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wilwheaton: lizbethanne: choppers-top-hat: bogleech: titleknown: arabellesicardi: im the robot Again, this is even funnier if you know what a fucking production nightmare, with a possible curse attached to it no less, this robot prop was for the Doctor Who crew… I want to know about the cursed robot So the robot isn’t a guy in a suit, it’s an animatronic/puppet thing, and it wasn’t built for the show. In fact, no one knows who built it, one of the producers just FOUND IT ONE DAY in a building near the studio. It had apparently been built for another production that was cancelled and then just left to gather dust. So they thought “oh cool, let’s make this dumb robot the Doctor’s new companion, it’ll look neat and weird, everyone will have a gas with it.” NOPE.Kamelion was incredibly complicated to operate, so they assigned a guy named Mike Powers to figure out the best way to go about it. Apparently he did a great job streamlining Kamelion’s operation, and then he promptly died in a boating accident (which is where the “curse” idea comes from.) He didn’t leave any notes or instructions, and the show was already behind schedule, so they had to rush Kamelion’s scenes into production with no idea how it worked. It was a gigantic pain in the ass to use, took forever to set up, and needed constant upkeep and repairs. Everyone hated working with the prop, to the point that before Kamelion’s first episode even aired, they had already decided to kill him off later in the same season.Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor, had the most scenes with Kamelion, and absolutely hated it. When Kamelion dies, the Doctor is really sad, but Davison said later that it was one of the best acting jobs of his career, because in reality, he was absolutely giddy with joy at being rid of the thing. tl,dr: In the 80′s a Mystery robot prop built by unknown hands caused chaos on the Doctor Who set. finding an abandoned mystery robot and bringing it home, leading to death, is the most doctor who plot ive ever heard This was no boating accident. : Admit it. You all think robots arejust machines built by humansto makeftheir lives easier Well.aren't they? ive never ive never made anyone s lifeeasierand you know it wilwheaton: lizbethanne: choppers-top-hat: bogleech: titleknown: arabellesicardi: im the robot Again, this is even funnier if you know what a fucking production nightmare, with a possible curse attached to it no less, this robot prop was for the Doctor Who crew… I want to know about the cursed robot So the robot isn’t a guy in a suit, it’s an animatronic/puppet thing, and it wasn’t built for the show. In fact, no one knows who built it, one of the producers just FOUND IT ONE DAY in a building near the studio. It had apparently been built for another production that was cancelled and then just left to gather dust. So they thought “oh cool, let’s make this dumb robot the Doctor’s new companion, it’ll look neat and weird, everyone will have a gas with it.” NOPE.Kamelion was incredibly complicated to operate, so they assigned a guy named Mike Powers to figure out the best way to go about it. Apparently he did a great job streamlining Kamelion’s operation, and then he promptly died in a boating accident (which is where the “curse” idea comes from.) He didn’t leave any notes or instructions, and the show was already behind schedule, so they had to rush Kamelion’s scenes into production with no idea how it worked. It was a gigantic pain in the ass to use, took forever to set up, and needed constant upkeep and repairs. Everyone hated working with the prop, to the point that before Kamelion’s first episode even aired, they had already decided to kill him off later in the same season.Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor, had the most scenes with Kamelion, and absolutely hated it. When Kamelion dies, the Doctor is really sad, but Davison said later that it was one of the best acting jobs of his career, because in reality, he was absolutely giddy with joy at being rid of the thing. tl,dr: In the 80′s a Mystery robot prop built by unknown hands caused chaos on the Doctor Who set. finding an abandoned mystery robot and bringing it home, leading to death, is the most doctor who plot ive ever heard This was no boating accident.
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carry-on-my-wayward-butt: youropinion-iswrong: lornagonigall: preciousorgel: t1nk3r-t0y: bunney: bunney: jellycarp: sonic-for-real-justice: transyuri: justice for mod silver what the hell is this?!! ♥♡♀mod amy♀♡♥ This is a moment in history WHERES THE FULL LENGTH FILM Honestly throw back to thisThis was the peak of tumblr Is Is this real Can I get a tumblr history lesson Tumblr history lesson coming up alright so its May 30th 2015, and this blog appears out of the blue. It’s a self-proclaimed REAL SJW blog, only they made a point of hating ‘special snowflakes’ aka any gender or sexuality that were not one of the well-known ones.  They all take the persona of a Sonic character, and at the time of the blog’s creation there were 6: Mods Sonic, Shadow, Amy, Tikal, Tails….and Silver. The blog hadn’t been active for 24 hours before Mod Silver allegedly closed the ask box. As you can see from the rules page at the time, this was a clear violation of the rules: The other mods were displeased, in particular Mod Amy who ignored his stated reasons for doing so and furiously demanded that he contact her on skype. Mod Silver was promptly removed from the blog for his first offence, however not before the blog’s followers took note of another rule on the list: Be kind to Mod Silver. The tumblr masses became angry at Mod Amy’s hypocrisy and called for her to be removed from the blog, starting the trends #IStandWithModSilver and #DownWithModAmy. She responded by saying she had done nothing wrong by disobeying the Mod Silver rule as the rules had been updated after his removal: This only made Mod Silver sympathizers angrier, increasing the pressure on Mod Amy. The whole thing upset Mods Tails and Tikal greatly, with Mod Tails trying to stand up for Mod Silver and Mod Tikal refusing to pick a side. At the end of the day, the blog had 10,000 followers, and both Mod Amy and Mod Sonic confirmed that Mod Silver was gone for good.  BUT WE AREN’T DONE. The very next day, Mod Tails resigned after alleged harassment by Mod Amy.  Mod Sonic then revealed that he and Mod Amy had been dating in secret. Mod Knuckles was recruited, hoping to be a peacemaker of sorts, and became the only Mod with the authority to change the rules. Later the same day, Mod Tikal was banned from the blog after labeling herself a demigirl, which violated the ‘special snowflake’ rule: On June 1st, Mod Sally joined the blog, but it simply made things worse as Mod Amy immediately suspected that Mod Sonic might have feelings for them. This caused an argument between the three, with Mod Shadow helping to stir up dust by making posts about Mod Sonic’s supposed crush. Knowing he was likely going to be banned, Mod Shadow then made his final post: Mod Sonic replied the next day confirming Mod Shadow’s removal. He then changed his name to Mod Super Sonic, and removed Mod Knuckles from the Mod List without warning for a violation of the rules (debated below): After which Mod Sally resigned, unwilling to put up with all the drama. Mod Amy was then unexpectedly banned by Mod Sonic, who had once again changed his name: Mod Sonic was now the only Mod left, and nobody knew what he would do next. The answer turned out to be… nothing, as 6 days of inactivity was a violation of the rules, and he left the blog. The story get less interesting from here. Mods Silver and Shadow returned to the blog alongside new Mods Blaze, Classic Sonic, and Classic Amy (both of which claimed not to be the originals). After a kerfuffle involving Mod Shadow claiming that Mod Silver encouraged hate of Mod Amy (which he then took back), Mods Classic Sonic and Classic Amy were removed for inactivity. FAST FORWARD TO AUGUST 2016, Mod Shadow became angry when a new Mod refused to pick a Sonic character for the blog, instead choosing Nagito Komaeda from Dangan Ronpa 2. They began arguing immediately: Since then, the blog has changed its theme to include Dangan Ronpa characters rather than Sonic ones, thought their URL remains the same. PLEASE look up screenshots, there are way more than the ones I included, but this post is long enough already. So ends the tale of Sonic For Real Justice, as I remember it I’VE BEEN WONDERING FOR SO LONG they’re a fun gay yugioh blog now : carry-on-my-wayward-butt: youropinion-iswrong: lornagonigall: preciousorgel: t1nk3r-t0y: bunney: bunney: jellycarp: sonic-for-real-justice: transyuri: justice for mod silver what the hell is this?!! ♥♡♀mod amy♀♡♥ This is a moment in history WHERES THE FULL LENGTH FILM Honestly throw back to thisThis was the peak of tumblr Is Is this real Can I get a tumblr history lesson Tumblr history lesson coming up alright so its May 30th 2015, and this blog appears out of the blue. It’s a self-proclaimed REAL SJW blog, only they made a point of hating ‘special snowflakes’ aka any gender or sexuality that were not one of the well-known ones.  They all take the persona of a Sonic character, and at the time of the blog’s creation there were 6: Mods Sonic, Shadow, Amy, Tikal, Tails….and Silver. The blog hadn’t been active for 24 hours before Mod Silver allegedly closed the ask box. As you can see from the rules page at the time, this was a clear violation of the rules: The other mods were displeased, in particular Mod Amy who ignored his stated reasons for doing so and furiously demanded that he contact her on skype. Mod Silver was promptly removed from the blog for his first offence, however not before the blog’s followers took note of another rule on the list: Be kind to Mod Silver. The tumblr masses became angry at Mod Amy’s hypocrisy and called for her to be removed from the blog, starting the trends #IStandWithModSilver and #DownWithModAmy. She responded by saying she had done nothing wrong by disobeying the Mod Silver rule as the rules had been updated after his removal: This only made Mod Silver sympathizers angrier, increasing the pressure on Mod Amy. The whole thing upset Mods Tails and Tikal greatly, with Mod Tails trying to stand up for Mod Silver and Mod Tikal refusing to pick a side. At the end of the day, the blog had 10,000 followers, and both Mod Amy and Mod Sonic confirmed that Mod Silver was gone for good.  BUT WE AREN’T DONE. The very next day, Mod Tails resigned after alleged harassment by Mod Amy.  Mod Sonic then revealed that he and Mod Amy had been dating in secret. Mod Knuckles was recruited, hoping to be a peacemaker of sorts, and became the only Mod with the authority to change the rules. Later the same day, Mod Tikal was banned from the blog after labeling herself a demigirl, which violated the ‘special snowflake’ rule: On June 1st, Mod Sally joined the blog, but it simply made things worse as Mod Amy immediately suspected that Mod Sonic might have feelings for them. This caused an argument between the three, with Mod Shadow helping to stir up dust by making posts about Mod Sonic’s supposed crush. Knowing he was likely going to be banned, Mod Shadow then made his final post: Mod Sonic replied the next day confirming Mod Shadow’s removal. He then changed his name to Mod Super Sonic, and removed Mod Knuckles from the Mod List without warning for a violation of the rules (debated below): After which Mod Sally resigned, unwilling to put up with all the drama. Mod Amy was then unexpectedly banned by Mod Sonic, who had once again changed his name: Mod Sonic was now the only Mod left, and nobody knew what he would do next. The answer turned out to be… nothing, as 6 days of inactivity was a violation of the rules, and he left the blog. The story get less interesting from here. Mods Silver and Shadow returned to the blog alongside new Mods Blaze, Classic Sonic, and Classic Amy (both of which claimed not to be the originals). After a kerfuffle involving Mod Shadow claiming that Mod Silver encouraged hate of Mod Amy (which he then took back), Mods Classic Sonic and Classic Amy were removed for inactivity. FAST FORWARD TO AUGUST 2016, Mod Shadow became angry when a new Mod refused to pick a Sonic character for the blog, instead choosing Nagito Komaeda from Dangan Ronpa 2. They began arguing immediately: Since then, the blog has changed its theme to include Dangan Ronpa characters rather than Sonic ones, thought their URL remains the same. PLEASE look up screenshots, there are way more than the ones I included, but this post is long enough already. So ends the tale of Sonic For Real Justice, as I remember it I’VE BEEN WONDERING FOR SO LONG they’re a fun gay yugioh blog now
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Isnt Florida asshole everyone in Florida?: thorsbian Every time my extended family gets together in upstate ny, we (the Adults) all get wasted & at least 1 giant Family Scandal comes out....tonight is that night thorsbian eue Got Winner Folks, and thorsbian So apparently my aunt cecelia (not really my aunt, just the best friend of my dads cousin, whomst we also call aunt) once married a dude referred to only as Florida Asshole He was named such because he apparently left my aunt cecelia while she was in the hospital, stole all of their stuff, and fucked off to florida. Aunt cecelia then hired a p.i. to find him, as u do, and went down to florida with my dads cousin (who was going to florida for a work trip, and had no idea Florida Asshole was there). Apparently the p.i. told aunt cecelia which city the guy was in, but hadnt found the exact address yet, so ofc aunt cecelia did what any other able bodied half insane scorned person might. She went to a costume shop, bought a full nun costume, and went door to door under the assumption that she was collecting charity. (She did, in fact, donate everything she collected. This was an important fact to her). At one of the houses, she looked in the window and noticed an awful lot of furniture that used to be hers So she, obviously, went to a gas station and bought several cans of gasoline, threw a molotov cocktail through the front window, and began pouring gasoline over the rest of the house. At this point, Florida Asshole came outside, recognized his ex wife looking like a renegade nun sent to punish him for his sins and began beating her. The neighbors, seeing the strange new man beating a nun in his front yard while his house was on fire, did the only sensible thing in this story and called the police. Who promptly arrested Florida Asshole for assaulting a nun. Aunt cecelia did not get arrested, came clean to her best friend, and was immediately sent back to new york with a ticket bought under my other aunt's name. We don't know if she still has an arrest warrant out for her in florida, and that's tonight's Family Scandal! Isnt Florida asshole everyone in Florida?
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buzzfeed: 17 People Who Lied And Promptly Got Called The Fuuuuuck Out: Adam Saleh @omgAd. 2016/12/14 NEW VIDEO IS UP!! I Smuggled Myself On A Plane To Another City and IT WORKED!! (IN A SUITCASE) youtu.be/13yviQ2ByMU Tigerair Australia tigerair @ TigerairAU @omgAdamSaleh Nice try Adam, but definitely a few inconsistencies with this vid, namely the fact we have footage of you boarding the plane! 2016/12/14, 11:21 People act like this is so hard, I'm 15 and yea I do have a really high IQ (150s) and I can easily do integrated calculus in my head, and easily calculate the amount of valence electrons in a nucleus. And lI'm also highly trained in quantum physics, by the way I'm totally self educated Reply 12 There are no electrons in any atomic nucleus. 4h Boom! 1d Just ran into Harry Styles at the tigers game and he Gave me $100 to get him two beers and I took the money and left #sweartogod Harry Styles @Harry_Styles wasn't at the tigers game. Cool story though 8/18/14, 9:44 PM When we both all sleep ea s 66 433 1,009 Isaac Whittemore @6ixice Replying to @CharlinatorG so the bed bugs takin the photos 7:40イ 97 iMessage Today 7:20 PM Hey is this hannah? No sorry wrong number I was in Kent, Ohio at the bar 157 Lounge. Are you sure this isn't hannah? Yeah I'm a dude and I'm pretty sure my name isn't Hannah, she gave you a fake number, sorry Fuck you. I got to hook up with two hot sorority girls last night. They were both super hot. You were probably at home jacking off because your a loserYou wish you were like me don't you? I get any girl I want. They beg for me. Hahaha fucking loser. Except Hannah apparently Delivered iMessage buzzfeed: 17 People Who Lied And Promptly Got Called The Fuuuuuck Out
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srsfunny:Everybody Should In Customer Service Once In Their Lives: How CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS Excuse me, I said a bit of ice on the bottom Why is the ice on top? Oh boy! Let me just turn 2 off physics and tell the ice to stop floating Rude! I want to speak to the manager! Sorry about that! Here, take these $500 giftcards. Please don't give us 1-star on Yelp YOU'RE FIRED!!! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! (EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG) I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad hen she was given a cheese pizza So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an "x-medium". Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no "x-medium". But she insisted, went and found her an "x-medium" (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, sam same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, "THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!" e make I'm a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water) Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said "NO this one's fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less." I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can't UNCOOK a steak en I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the ive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me "now i want my new croissant" she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells "ma'am let me just tell you what we're all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt." I couldn't stop laughing and she drove away in anger ost of the people like in the stories above know that they're bei totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they'll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people srsfunny:Everybody Should In Customer Service Once In Their Lives
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